In Panic Mode Now- Husband Can't Be at My 2 Daughters B-day Party!

Oh J.!

I know how you feel, girl. Such is the life of a military wife. It has been years since my husband has been home for all five kids' birthdays and last year he was in Iraq and missed two, as well as my birthday, Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Beth is right. Your husband is a hero. Every member of our military makes a difference and we owe all of them a debt of gratitude. So give him an extra hug and a thanks. As for him being there, you can't do anything about that. What you could do is record him singing them the birthday song and helping them blow out candles. Just put the candles into a block of floral foam from Michaels so all they see is daddy's face and the candles. When it is time to sing with them, push play and dad can sing along. Then have a special gift they open from dad and while they are opening it, have a recorded message from him saying why they got that gift and that he hopes they love it as much as he loves them. There is still a way to make him a part of it and a way to make it special for them.

As for the stress, you can do this J.. We are moms. From the beginning of motherhood, moms have done what they needed to do and God has equipped us with the ability to do it. You have the skills, and the patience. What is overwhelming you now is the disappointment and when you figure your way around that you will be just fine. I know you will!

L.

I have to agree with the other's comments. You and your husband are both making a huge sacrifice for our country and I, for one, am grateful. My Marine husband has had to miss several parties over the years. It's sad and the kids are upset, but once their friends/family get there, it's forgotten for the time being. One thing I learned is that no kid is going to come into my house and say, "Max's Mom, your floor is dirty." Or, Mrs. S, I'd prefer a cleaner environment for my entertainment needs." LOL! Ok, I might have exaggerated a tad, but the basic theme is the same. No kid is going to care about decorations, fine food or a clean house. Have a cake, ice cream and a place for the kids to play and that's basically a party.
Once Dad gets home, plan a special night-board games, a favorite show, a special cake just for the family, home movies, a tickle fight, etc. Do anything that the family enjoys doing together. Your days together may be few and far between, so make the best of it. One day your kids will understand the sacrifices made by your family and be proud. Birthday parties are as much for the parents as they are for the kids. Simple and low-key is the way to go, in my opinion. Thank you to you and your husband for all that you do (your job of keeping the homestead a stable, healthy environment for your children IS a job- don't count yourself short) and have fun with a bunch of kids who just want some sugar and a place to run around with their friends.
Good luck!!

First, your husband is in the military - please thank him for all his hard work and all his efforts to keep our country safe!!!

You explain to the girls that their "dad is a hero for helping keep his country safe, and that sometimes that means he has to be somewhere else when we most want him to be home with us. That makes it hard for us because we love him so much - but he loves our country that much too, and we need heros like him to protect all of us."

You can do this, if you get organized. Make a list of things you need to do, and prioritize. Put "A"'s next to things that have to be done first ("Today"), "B"'s next to things that can be done "tomorrow", then rate them 1-? on which ones come before others.

I know it's frustrating to have a curve ball like this thrown at you when you tried so hard to make it work like you wanted it to. A friend of mine says, "Life happens when you make other plans."

Still - your husband is a hero, and please thank him for everything he does for this country! And thanks to you and your girls for supporting him in his efforts...that's equally as important!

Calm down, you said yourself he wasn't exactly going to be doing a lot and you can have him make the cakes earlier in the week, freeze them until the day of the party then ice them yourself. The girls might even like it if you let them ice and decorate their own special cakes. Like the other ladies said most of your stressing is just based on the disappointment. Focus on what you need to do and maybe see if one of your family members would be willing to come a little early and help you set up.

J.,

Ask one or even two of your trusted mom friends who are coming to the party to be another set of eyes for you. If they know ahead of time you are on your own and are asking for their help, they will step up and be more 'hands-on'. Because let's face it, with as many kids as you're inviting, you can't be everywhere at once. Let them know you need a little help with cutting the cake, doing the video camera work, snapping pictures, writing down names of who gives what gift, etc. That way, you can relax a bit more and enjoy yourself!

Good luck
J.