I'm Embarrassing Her

Get ready, it is the new wave. I can't believe the social activity going on in elementary school or what they are being taught.
Remind her it is a term of affection and proof of love. This is what families do and how they act. If she would prefer not to be part of the family she can be treated as a guest but they don't have the same privelages as family members.

Your daughter is in the first grade, that's big time to her. She may look like a little girl to you, but she feels like a big kid to herself. She needs to keep her dignity. My children still like a good cuddle, but only on their terms. They'll kiss me good bye in the garage, but at the end of the driveway, I get only a wave. My oldest daughter (9) will hold my hand occaissonally, but only away from her friends. My middle daughter (7) won't hold my hand at all. Each child is different, and we have to respect their wishes as far as affection and their bodies go. You should back off, and she'll show you what she wants and needs as far as affection goes. The early grade school years, are all about finding out who they are without Mom and Dad telling them.

If she's watching television then she is growing up very fast. Decide which "battles" you want to choose. Maybe agree no pet names but you won't stop showing her affection. Whatever you decide make sure she knows what your family will be doing to show affection.

Looks like it's time to adapt the PDA's (Public Displays of Affection). Just the other night, my nearly 6 year old and I were watching TV on my bed, and I sometimes will pat her on the leg or something, and she said, "Stop touching me Mommy." But then 2 nights later, she wanted to snuggle with me for a few minutes before she went to bed.

I also remember at that age not wanting "pet names" and such.

Let her know that your the mom (and he's the dad) so sometimes it's just going to happen (you can't help it - you're the parents), but you'll try to "control it" in public - but at home, it's every person for herself!!

My kids are younger, but I know it hurts when they are choosing not to love and hug on you but that's how it is sometimes for whatever reason. From experience, I would say that your daughter is exploring her independence. When I was younger, my parents called me "sis" or "sissy" - especially to my brother. I always hated it and not until I was 10 or 11 did I say anything. One day my mom called me "sis" and I exploded yelling at her that my name was T. and not "sis" - if she wants to call me "sis" she should have named me "sis" - and I ran to my room and cried. So, I would say your daughter just wants to find who she is - I know it's young, but our kids are smart. I'm sure if you give her the space she is looking for, she'll come around to you and want that attention when she is ready. Hope this helps! Best wishes!

My son told me the 2nd day of kindergarten (so he had just turned 5) that he's a big kid and big kid's don't have their moms walk them to the bus stop. I made a deal and told him I was going to walk the rest of the week (it was a short, 3 day week) and then he'd be on his own. He lived with it. :-) Bus stop is only a few houses down the street anyways.

He also doesn't like to be called any 'pet names' like honey outside of the house or around other people, either. I can live with that - he's growing up and definately showing his independence. It started about the time he was in kindergarten (2nd grade now since he just turned 7). Some pet names can be demeaning without meaning to.

So no, I don't think 7 is too young. They are trying to 'fit in' with others and acting like big kids. And it's also a phase, I think, they will outgrow (somewhat) at some point.

Hi J...i can't offer you any advice but i can tell you my daughter just turned 8 and she does the same thing..if i sing in the car,if I wear something she doesn't like,if I cheer for her during cheerleading, even while I am co-directing children's choir at church... I chalk it up to the age.Is it early i can't say but if we think it is bad now just wait for those dreaded teen years...soon enough we will stop embarassing them and hopefully laugh when their kids do the same to them~K.

She's just growing up and not wanting to be called names that make her feel young. It's unfortunate though! Do you guys act goofy and joke around a lot at home? Because my daughter tells me I'm embarrassing her sometimes, but it's only when we're joking around and I've talked in a silly voice or done a silly dance. I think when there are real things to be embarrassed about, it leaves the simple things, like nicknames, at bay. Also, from another anle, my daughter went through a period when she wasn't wanting to hold my hand when we were out too. (She's in 2nd grade, turned 7 in August) So, one of the days when we were out for a girls' day, I watched for mother/daughter couples who were affectionate. When I saw one, I would point them out to her and say "See? It's good to show love for each other, because mother and daughters have the most special relationship in the world!" She's gotten better and will hold my hand out in public. She definitely still pulls it away at times, but I'm happy with what I get.

O my,I am going through the same thing with my 6yr old.. You would think it is WAY to early but it seems not..I just go with the flow and try not to do something i know will upset her.Hopefully she will grow out of it.. I mean we all did lol It does seem that this stuff happens alot faster now.Good Luck!

My daughter just started Kindergarten this year. As we would wait on the bus, we would play etc...then, when the bus would come I would give her a hug and a kiss and tell her to have a great day at school.
One day, the bus was there and I went to give her a hug and she said "Mom, don't do that, all the kids will see!"
So, we came up with a secret hand squeeze. We squeeze each others hands three times for I - LOVE - YOU and she smiles and gets on the bus. It's our little secret hand shake! :)
We also do the kissing hand on some days from the Kissing Hand Book. (before the bus comes)
At home she's fine with affection but when we're out in public, I let her come to me when she needs the comfort or attention or wants to hold my hand.
I know it's hard to see your child do this...you want them to always be your baby!!!!!

we've been through it 3 times...

going through it now with our 7 year old in second grade.

I try to teach them that if someone teases them about stuff like this, that that child is just jealous that they don't have a mom/dad who cares. They want attention like that and they don't have it.