I Don’t Know If I’m Pregnant or Not but Can’t Test

Updated on August 02, 2019
M.C. asks from Norfolk, VA
11 answers

Ion July 3rd I had sex with my partner and it was with a comdom. But two weeks later o states to feel funny. Like my Brest were so tender and sore and my stomge hurt so bad. I was supposed to have a normal period the 10th of July but got brown blood that didn’t fill up a liner and it was for three days. I noticed that it was weird and not normal for me because I wear super max tampons I have an extremely heavy flow and this month it was like nothing. I went to the hospital and they tested my urine and it came back negative for pregnancy. Now his whole month my boobs have been sore and my shoulders hurt. And my stomge feels like my period is going to start. My next period is supposed to be on the 7 th of August. Should I wait for another test? Am I pregnant? Am I being silly ? Help I’m 21. And still a junior in college I’m kinda scared. Partner is ik navy.

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So What Happened?

I slept with two men that night one a random. But I am a crazy person and I’m not ready for kids ever really. I have an anxiety disorder so I know my mind plays tricks on me and my body. So that’s why I’m paranoid. The second guy I slept with comdom was small. The first guy isn’t most definitely but the second that scares me. I had to grow up early in certain parts of my life so I skipped so many steps. I am like an adolescent and I don’t have a mom where I can talk to her about these kind of things she gets angry. So yeah the internet is like my mom the person you tell the dumbest things too.

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answers from New York on

So you had protected sex and already had a hospital pregnancy test come back negative? Why in the world would you think you were pregnant? Honestly, do you think people just run around every time their period is weird assuming they are pregnant? No, they don't.

As an aside, you don't magically have all these "pregnancy" symptoms just a few weeks in even if you were pregnant. I'd worry way more about some other type of other physical malady.

3 moms found this helpful

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answers from Boston on

I can understand that you are scared. But let's take this one step at a time.

First of all, you don't need to go to a hospital for this if there are walk-in clinics or urgent care centers. They are less expensive and you don't have to wait for all the emergency patients to be seen. Of course, your college health center or a clinic (be sure it's reliable, like Planned Parenthood and not a fake knock-off with a political agenda). If you call a PP clinic even if it's too far from you, they can perhaps refer you to something local. Remember that these clinics do blood work, pelvic exams, and much more, with reassuring and knowledgeable counselors to talk to.

Second, your symptoms could be related to pregnancy, but they could be related to something else, and often something minor. For example, you can have an anovulatory cycle, where no egg is produced, and therefore there is no egg follicle to secrete the hormones that signal the uterus to shed its lining. Happens all the time, it's normal, it's fine. Having some minor bleeding (your brown flow) can happen. As hormones build up, you can get breast tenderness and so on. It usually fixes itself in a month, which could mean you're going to get a period. However, your dates may be off - so a new period won't necessarily come a month after the last one that should've come but didn't.

But yes, this can also be related to pregnancy, and it can also be related to other hormonal imbalances. It's hardly ever awful and dire, just sometimes something that needs to be dealt with. I don't understand your question's title, that you "can't test." Why not?

Third, you need to educate yourself. Condoms are the only protection against STIs, so it's good that you used one. However, a lot of men don't know how to use them safely (yes, there's a right way and a wrong way), and they are far from foolproof against pregnancy. So you need a reliable method that you can use and that fits with your lifestyle and medical history. A good reproductive health care counselor can help you narrow down some options and learn proper usage, and you can finalize your decision with a doctor. It wouldn't hurt for your boyfriend to attend some of the session even if you have and want private time - he needs to be educated and can do that on his own too.

For now, you're in limbo. You need to take steps as if you are pregnant, and as if you are not. So you cannot start something like the pill or implant unless you get a normal period. But you also should be making decisions on what goes into your body (smoking, drinking) as if you are pregnant, if you would possibly continue the pregnancy. I think you need to stop having sex until you resolve the medical situation. I don't think you have to swear off sex entirely until you are ready to be a parent, but you absolutely have to do some thinking about what you would do if you are pregnant now or if you become pregnant unexpectedly later on. This is what mature women do - they figure out their values, they learn to assume that men won't always stand by them, they know that even in a great relationship the issue of pregnancy is the woman's to deal with.

8 moms found this helpful


answers from Atlanta on

Go to the Dollar Store and purchase one. Have your partner buy one at the NEX and take it.

GO TO YOUR GYN and get evaluated. Every 5 to 7 years our bodies change. Yours could be changing.

If you are not ready to become a mother? You need to ensure you have the RIGHT birth control and NOT just condoms. It doesn't sound like you're mature enough to be a mom just yet. Sorry if that's harsh but really. You really need to talk with your GYN about your issues.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

If you do not want to become a mom right now, STOP having sex.

You may or may not be pregnant, how on earth should we know?

Take a pregnancy test and/or go to your Dr. IF you are not pregnant, be thankful and and don't have sex until you are ready to be a parent.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on


Welcome to mamapedia.

You need to stop having sex until you're ready to become a parent. If you're scared now? You'll be even more scared if you do become pregnant. So stop having sex until you're ready to become a parent. A condom isn't 100% - abstinence is. If you don't want to abstain? You need to get on birth control and use condoms.

You really need to see your OB/GYN. You shouldn't be using "super max tampons" all the time. If you have heavy flows each month? You REALLY need to talk with your OB/GYN about this.

Why did you go to the HOSPITAL for a pregnancy test??? If their test came back negative and you were already 2 weeks "late"? You shouldn't be pregnant. However, if since then you've had sex and feel "weird"? You need to see your OB/GYN.

I don't know why you "Can't" test. You can get to the dollar store to buy a test and they are good tests.

It doesn't matter that your partner is in the US Navy. You need to see your OB/GYN to figure out what is wrong. You should NOT be having heavy flows EVERY MONTH. You need to use a pad to see how much you are actually bleeding. If you bleed through a pad (and this is totally saturating it) in one hour? You need to go to the ER.

Please see your OB/GYN.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Norfolk on

Well if you can't test then I guess you will have to wait for 9 months and see what happens.
The Merck manual says that positive proof of pregnancy is delivery of a baby.
Until then either you are pregnant - or you aren't - and a lot of things can mimic pregnancy - like hysterical pregnancy, hormone imbalance, cancer, etc.

Best to act like you are pregnant - eat right, take pregnancy vitamins, no drinking alcohol, smoking/vaping, doing drugs, etc - until you know otherwise.
If you find out you are not pregnant then get on a good birth control so you won't go through this again until you are ready to start your family.

I'll tell you what I tell my son.
Sex is for people who can afford the consequences of their decisions.
Can you support your family?
Are you ready to be a mother?
At 21, a junior in college and having sex with multiple partners in a single night - what the heck are you thinking? - I'm not sure I'm buying this story - but you need to get your priorities straight.

Anytime you have sex with someone it's like you are having sex with everyone they already had sex with - and I do not even want to think about the risk and diseases you are exposing yourself to.
Just stop it.
And if you are trolling parenting sites with stupid stories you can stop that too.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Portland on

The Dollar Store has good quality pregnancy tests. I suggest using one. Perhaps another test a few days after. I would wait for another hospital test until after the time your period should start and doesn't.

A pregnancy test is not an emergency. I suggest you go to Planned Parenthood. They use a sliding scale for payments. They will cost much less than an Emergency Room.

Of you"re a full time student, doesn't the college provide medical care? Many years ago I was able to go to their clinic. Once I stayed a couple of days.

Why can't you test?

4 moms found this helpful


answers from San Antonio on

The dollar store has pregnancy tests and that would be way cheaper than an ER visit.

If you were stressed out and ovulated late then yes you could be pregnant.

Go to the dollar store and buy a few tests and test every five days or so until you get your period or you test positive. One or the other will happen.

The symptoms are either you are starting one crazy late and overwhelming period or you are pregnant...they are the same symptoms so that can be confusing.

If you are going to continue to have sex please go get some better birth control to use with the condoms. If you get the prescription filled at a Sam's Club or Costco for a generic birth control pill it will be under $10 a month. (You don't have to be a member to use their cheaper pharmacy.) Go ahead and get the pills because you start taking them the first day of your period so that way you can be prepared.

If this is the reaction you are having to a possible pregnancy then maybe you should rethink having sex right now maybe you are not prepared for all of the possible outcomes. Pregnancy is one of those...also catching diseases that you would have to treat.

Also, reading the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" will help explain your hormonal changes each month and even though it is written for those who want to get pregnant it can be used in reverse to help you not get pregnant. It is the best book describing female reproductive system in full I have ever read. Good luck!!

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Portland on

You don't write why you can't test, so it's hard to answer that one. That would be very helpful.

If I were you, I'd buy a test, or go to a clinic and be tested so you know.

I would not rely solely on condoms. I would take ownership of my body/reproductive situation. Condoms are not 100% reliable.

I have had a light month as you describe, then a heavier one the next - especially at your age. I worried, but did not need to. I think what Diane describes is not that uncommon.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Miami on

You're sleeping with several men a day, one of which was a random stranger, you admit you're crazy and not ready for kids? Sounds like you are in need of some serious counseling, sex education counseling and mental health counseling. Your words say one thing, but your actions say another.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

what is the alternative to 'should i wait for another test?' very puzzled about that one.

you went to the hospital for a heavy period??

are you pregnant? absolutely.

are you being silly? absolutely.

you sound young and confused and somewhat incompetent and not very ready for life as an adult. i hope whether or not you're pregnant that you wake up, stand up, and take yourself in a firmer hand.


2 moms found this helpful
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