How Would You Describe an Abusive Marriage?

For these purposes, I'm going to keep it very simple.

Hitting is NEVER justified. Ever.

The way to prevent it to leave.

And that's what the abused wife needs to do. Leave.

If these questions are being asked, the relationship is long past saving. Your friend needs to get out, and not look back.

I recommend the website http://www.youarenotcrazy.com/.

I also recommend that your friend stay in a shelter for a bit, and that she seek counseling. It's very hard to take the first steps out of an abusive relationship, but after those first few steps, it gets easier. You can help her by looking into shelters in the area, and by giving her a safe space from which to make a call, if needed. But let her make the call herself.

It's all about power and control.
Does she feel powerless and controlled?

Someone doesn't have to have their teeth knocked out to be in an abusive marriage.
My guess is that if she feels she's in an abusive marriage--she probably is.

Name-calling once in a while during a heated argument? Forgivable. Name-calling on a daily basis? Not acceptable.

And if you ever decide to hit me, you had better knock me cold with the first swing, because you will NOT get the chance for a second.

If you're being abused - LEAVE. I did, even though I couldn't afford it, even though I didn't know where I was going to live.

An abusive marriage is one in which one partner is controlling and does not allow the other to thrive or grow in whatever direction she chooses. A happy marriage is one in which both partners support and encourage each other, sharing equal responsibility for building their life together. They won't always agree, but neither gets their way by making the other feel scared or small or lesser than the other. Respect for the partner guides all behavior, even when you don't agree, even when you think your partner's choice is wrong. Neither EVER feels threatened or afraid of what the other will think or say or do.

If your friend is even having to ask, then chances are her relationship is abusive in some form or fashion. Tell her to check out www.drirene.com - great website for those who need convincing about their relationships.

The marriage cannot be saved unless both parties understand changes need to be made and resolve to change them - and that is very unlikely to happen. Outside help is required. Hitting is never justified and cannot be prevented. If it happens one time it WILL repeat. To think otherwise is only fooling yourself.

There are many different components that define an abusive relationship. I HIGHLY recommend The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans.

Other people can tell you their experiences but until you relate things to you own situation nothing changes.