How to Unattach an Attached Toddler

give it time... I like the "SupperNanny's" approach to dealing with sleep separation anxiety, she does it in about every episode just catch a rerun on style network and you will see how it is done. or message me and I'll send you the instructions.

Love him up till you're all back to normal. If you're still feeling crappy, imagine how wacked out your son feels - and he doesn't have the coping or communicating skills that adults do. I just went on a week long trip to PA and am dealing with a lesser version of what you did. I felt the same way. By giving into the need for love and comfort, both my 3.5 year old and I are feeling much better and less crazy. Talk to your son about the trip and how great it was, how good it is to be home and getting back into routine, etc. Give the extra comfort, etc. It'll even out.

Hi CYS. Thanks for consulting. You are a good momma. Welcome Home. I agree with the below good advice. Please don't CIO, especially after he is so used to being with you all together. It is naturally to be more weepy when jetlagged. Think of us as adults jetlagged. It is natural to miss having mom and dad close by at nite. Please give him time to adjust.

HTH. Jilly

So you've taken your son out of his element and he was in a new place with new surroundings for a while. And within a relatively short period of time, he had to readapt, you all did. And now that you are home, you have to get use to being back in said "element". I think that this is something that will take time but that it will correct itself. The best way to help children with jetlag, so I've been told, is to get them as much fresh air as possible. Try to get back into a normal routine as best as you can, especially at night time. And for a while you might have to let your son fall asleep with you and then move him to his room. Remember that the "Ferber" method doesn't call for just letting your child scream and cry for hours on end. The correct way would be to let him cry for 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes, etc. increasing the time just slightly so that he will learn (or relearn in this case) to self-soothe. Take it easy on him, it's hard for you I'm sure but he's probably just very confused. Give him lots of love and attention through out the day and help him get comfortable and confident in his new(old) surroundings.

Hope this helps! Good luck!

so for a month you were gone out of town away from his normal home and you slept with him and then you gget back and expect him to be comfortable on his own? you are going to create a VERY insecure toddler who is going to be even more clingy than you think he is!

I agree with dietrich he needs time to readjust to the normal. his normal got broken and he needs to feel secure again. give him a week and then start the cry it out method again. his whole world got turned upside down. and he has to figure out how to get right side up. dont let him cry more than 20 minutes on cry it out. give him a shirt that smells like you or dad. I use dirty shirts cause the odor lingers. good luck and be patient.

In 1985 or so, I watched a TV interview with the author of the book, THE FAMILY BED. He was in favor of allowing children to sleep with parents. He said that throughout the ages, children have always slept with parents. Things changed around the late 1940's in the USA, when ideas about family and wealth changed after WWII. Americans showed their new found middle-class wealth by having a house with a separate "nursery" just like the rich people. Only thing they forgot is - - rich people always had nannies and wet nurses sleeping in the nurseries at night. Middle-class folk just stuck their babies all alone in an empty, scary room with NO nannies. Dr. Spock in the 60's came along and said let them cry it out. The author of THE FAMILY BED said it is not a natural thing for a human being to sleep ALONE. Our skin is our biggest organ and the sense of touch sends electrical nerve impulses to all internal organs. Newborns who are touched gain weight faster, and thrive. Romanian orphans left alone to cry in cribs with ZERO-touch suffered learning retardation and ATTACHMENT DISORDER. We ALL crave skin-to-skin contact. The thing about this TV show 25 years ago that sticks with me is this: A woman from the audience stood up and said, "Well, I do NOT believe children should be allowed in their parent's bed. When our son used to wake up in the night and cry, we would take him a glass of water and tell him that the water would wash away all the bad dreams!" The author just listened, then asked the women this question, "If you went to your husband and said, 'Honey, I just need a hug right now' and your husband said, 'Here's a glass of water,' how would you feel?" After watching that TV show, I went on to have 4 kids and followed the author's rule of thumb when it comes to babies and toddlers wanting to sleep with you: "NEVER OFFER, NEVER REFUSE." WARNING: Do not attempt co-sleeping if one or both parents consume alcohol or use drugs.

this too shall pass.we travel a lot and go thru it each and every time.

When stress or trauma hits a toddler (and all that travelling and being with you and now suddenly he's not is stressful to a toddler), they revert back to the last successful coping mechanism they had... which is usually Mommy helping them.

Is it such a problem to continue the bed sharing until he's ready to go back on his own? Majority of children, if given a CHOICE for themselves, will choose to sleep with Mommy. My daughter is almost 5.5 and is finally all ready for her own room and bed - - like all childhood developmental phases - it will pass, and when it does you will miss it, because you know you will never get that time back.