How to Handle Cleaning Time

Hi L.,
Well I first want to say that you may have to be a little hard on them and get them back to minding. I'm gonna give you a couple things you might try.

It sounds like you already have routine down but maybe it needs a little "fine tuning" so that being said.....it is alot easier for me to have my daycare kids do activities in the morning rather than in the afternoon. I set aside about an 1 hour and a half in the morning to do this I have my 3 y/o and a 2 y/o that I watch along with some other kids but they are all under 1 y/o right now. So I go to this website I like and print of things for them to make and color and things like this. We do our activity for the day and by that time it is time for the babies to wake up from morning nap. After lunch the 2 y/o goes down for lunch and my daughter lays down on the couch she will either watch a movie or watch dora or something like that.
So first I would get your routine down good here is mine for example :
7:30 am breakfast
9:00 am-10:00 am morning nap for the babies, but we do learning time here
11:30 I start lunch
12:00 noon lunch time
1:00 pm - 3:00 pm afternoon nap
3:30 pm snack time
4:00 pm we get ready to fo home

So you can follow the same type of routine but do an activity with them in the morning, this way they have your undivided attention for that 1 hour or 3 hours. Here is a website that I get all of my activities from www.first-school.ws/ click on "first alphabet" then click on the letter you want to start with. This site has all kinds of activities you can do with them. I find with my own kids and daycare kids I just can't give them a coloring book and expect them to color, they are needing more instruction than that so I started doing this and it has helped a great bit. If you spend an hour a day on it everyday you are benfiting them greatly but then after that you can have them do a quiet activity like maybe watch a cartoon or a movie and get a chore of some kind done. Also depending on the chore you could have them start to help, lets say you need to start laundry and need to seperate it, this is a good way to incorporate them,they can sort clothes by colors, they are learning and helping. The next thing is ,aybe puttin laundry away....your 4 y/o could learn to hang a shirt on a hanger, not a simple task for a 3 1/5 y/o but simple enough, for the 2 y/o maybe it's putting away the towels that go in the kitchen or maybe clothes that go in his dresser. For both of them maybe it's finding the matches to pairs of socks, maybe matching by color, a stripe, or something like this. Also learning how to fold a was cloth.
You could give both of them a sock (this could be an activity and a chore to help with). You could make a sock puppet that eats dust, make the puppet, you could use an old sock, use yarn, some wiggley eyes and sew a button on for a nose.
I think if they can't follow your direction of either what the next task you are going to do is or the activity you are going to do, then you could send them either to the corner or their room, whichever you decide to do.
Hope this helps you,W..

Hi L.,

First of all, you are not alone! And thanks for asking since we can all learn from each other. It is very difficult to raise 2 small children and yet have a claen house and everythgn else ready. I will add that now my older one already has lots of activities to go and I am also working part time from home! And yes! There has been times in which I thought I was going to end up nuts!
But the more you have to do , the more you learn to improve and work on the most important things first. And yes, my home is not always sparkling:(
My suggestion would be to talk with your older one, explain him that you need your help, make him feel impotant and also usefull, he can watch your little one and call you when he is doing something wrong that he can't handle, of couse you will have to plan ahead and leave them doing something that they can't get hurt, for example, watch a movie or ask your older to teach your yunger to play legos or other toys that he can master! He can also help him color or clean with a small broom or one of those cordless hand vacuums! If you show him how to use it he will love it! And always explain that you need him to help so you can do your chores and that he has to do his.
Hope this helps you and thanks to everybody for your awesome tips!
Mariana Abadie
www.MyKidsFirst.com

I've never been against television the way so many people are. People are very mean and rude and ARROGANT about mothers and caregivers that "use the tv as babysitters". But all I have to say to that is their house is probably a pit!

I keep a spotless house most of the time. I can't stand to have dirty floors, dirty table & chairs, dirty refrigerators, yucky bathrooms etc. It's hard enough getting the basics done let alone getting to the organizing and cleaning the windows and ledges etc... and yes kids act up when they know we are busy. So cleaning has to be a priority and we have to be strict about it.

Try buying some learning cd's. Tell them that during your cleaning time they will have school time "period". If they rebel tell them they will go to bed while you are getting things done. Of course, you could try the way they used to handle us in school. We would have to lay our heads down on our desks when we misbehaved too much.

Most men are oblivious to the way a house gets cleaned. They want a clean house just so long as it's done out of their site and without inconveniencing them. You have the wonderful opportunity to teach your boys something of value that they can carry into their adult lives.

Suzi

My daughter is 5 and since she was about 3, she has LOVED to "do dishes." I put a chair by the sink, put on a full-length apron with a towel behind it (non-slip shoes are a good idea too) and fill the sink with bubbles. Then I give her some of her toys or some clean (unbreakable) dishes & a washcloth and let her go to town. It is guaranteed to keep her occupied for at least 30 minutes. Now, keep in mind that there will be a huge, watery mess on the floor & counter, but it's easy to wipe up water (you can put towels on the floor to contain the mess a bit). You might not want to have both boys at the sink at the same time-- a water fight might be tempting. But maybe you could switch activities like one mom suggested.

Also, we got a little lax in disciplining our daughter and finally had to commit to following through EVERY time. You & hubby might have to make a pact that for the next 2 weeks, every time they misbehave, you will give them a consequence. We tell our daughter "this is your final warning" & tell her what will happen if she does it again-- no desert, time out, etc. Then we did it EVERY time she did something unacceptable. It's hard at first (our tendency was to ignore when she did something wrong so we could avoid a meltdown), but after a few days of doing this (we started on a weekend when we were both home), she got remakably better at listening to us and NOT having meltdowns if she DID get in trouble. Good luck!

First, your wants are not too harsh or out of line. Gary has 2 boys (8 and 6) and I go through the same thing when I'm trying to do stuff while they're there. My best idea is that maybe you separate the boys while you clean. Will either of them sit still for a movie/show? If so put one in front of the TV and one at the kitchen table (or where ever you are) with you and have him color or help you. After 30min to an hour (depending on their attention span) switch them. Make sure that you explain to them clearly what your plan is and how long it will take. ex"Okay guys, I have to fix dinner. Noah you pick out a movie and you'll watch it and Evan you get your colors and come sit at the table. It's going to take me about an hour so I want you to behave yourselves and you will stay in different rooms from each other the entire time." I find that they do a lot better once they are separated. I don't know if you can do that with your boys but hopefully it works/helps. Good Luck!

L.:

Have you tried getting the kids ivolved in the cleaning process? You could give them each a "chore", to make them feel included.If you make it a fun adventure and let them think they are in charge, they will love it. My two-year old helps me dust (he loves it) and puts his socks away! Nap time and when dad comes home from work (after dinner), is also a good time to get stuff done. Keep in mind though-your house does not need to be perfect. The time you spend with your boys is the most important thing. It is hard to balance (I have one son, but I also work 3/4 time). Housework is secondary.

A. L

Why not let them help. I ran into a similar problem w/ my son when he was that age so I started to let him help...he loved it. If it was dishes he'd hand me the dirty stuff to put in the dishwasher, if it was sweeping I'd let him pick up the big pieces that would just fall off the dustpan, laundry he loved to put the clothes in the dryer, I'd pull them out of the washer and hand them to him and he'd put them in; we made a game out of it. To this day; he's now 7 1/2; he still loves to help me. If this is not possible let the boys pick a movie that would keep their attention and clean while they watch that. I also picked one major chore and "assigned" it a day in the week..so each day had one major chore I did. I also took full advantage of nap time..again my son was an excellent napper he's sleep from 1 1/2 hour to 2 hours. Good Luck! One more thought, if it's picking up their own toys it's never too soon to teach them to pick up their own toys, if they don't after you ask them too then they lose that toy for a day. I know it sounds harsh, but it works!

Hi L.,
I have had the same problem you are having so believe me, I am soaking up all of the suggestions you are getting. Great question. I have a little trick that I started to use that might help you.
When my kids(1 1/2 and 4) are getting to do their special activity, (playdough, markers, paints or even mid morning snack) I buckle them into their high chair and booster seat so they cannot get out and run around while they are doing their craft. That helps me a lot! I can mop the floor, vacuum, do dishes whatever. You can keep an eye on them the whole time and do your chores. My kids love music, so, if you make this a fun time for them to listen to their favorite cd while its craft time, you could get a lot done! (and it's not mean to buckle them in--that is what they are there for!)
I think our kids just want our attention and validation so whatever we are doing--even if it's chores--they will love to help if we can make it fun in some way. We sing the Barney "Clean Up" song while we pick up toys and clothes and my 4 year old loves to help fold the clothes. Wash cloths and towels are easy for them, dont redo their job, just grit your teeth and put things away the way the kids have done it. It's all part of making them feel special and like they have done a good job and they will beam with pride because they helped! It takes patience, which I admit,I have really had to work on! Someone else suggested showing your older boy how to put things on a hanger, great idea!! I just figured out that my daughter knows how to do that and she loves to help hang up her things.
Thanks again for the great question because I picked up several great tips from the other moms too!!!!
Good luck,
G.

Unfortunately your boys are both at difficult ages. Even though it seems your 3.5 year old should understand you need to cook - he really doesn't understand that you have needs. I only have one son, who is 6, so I never dealt with the dynamic of two, but I would find an activity for them that is different - especially when you are cooking dinner - pull out a toy or activity that they don't normally get - maybe playdough or some special cars or coloring books that you save just for dinner time. What about trying to cook dinner ahead so it's not so stressfull, using your crockpot, maybe let that be their tv time? As for cleaning time, I would let them help, my son loved to dust - or use a small broom and dust pan. I know it's more work for you, but maybe fewer frustrations. What about a basket and some bean bags to throw in - or my son loves playing with a blown up balloon, batting it around.

Both my girls are around the same age so I understand where you are coming from. I do keep an eye on them constantly because the 2 year old is still learning how to share, not hit, etc.

So here's how I do it-
I have a 'quiet time' box for my almost 4 year old. Activities that she can only do when her sister is sleeping. Playdough, markers, puzzles, etc. It definitely has been a struggle to get her to play by herself but it has improved. Give it time. I also set the timer to where she will play for so long then allow her a half hour TV show.
I take naps some days so that I can stay up later and get some cleaning done. It is definitely a pain but it helps. My daughter may get to watch some TV.
I make my husband help me a lot when he gets home! Either by cleaning itself or taking kids to the basement so I can get some things done.
As for meals, I started doing a wonderful thing with other moms that has helped me sooo much. I make several meals ahead of time and freeze them. Then all I have to do is pull them out and cook it. The crock pot is good too. I love to put items in a crock pot and let them cook for the day and it makes it easier.

You definitely are in a difficult place with this and think you have asked a question that lots of stay at home moms struggle with. Good luck.