How to Get Autistic Son to Go #2 on Toliet

Updated on June 28, 2009
S.K. asks from South Bend, IN
10 answers

My husband and I are so frustrated over this. I have an autistic son who is potty trained and will go pee at the toliet and tell us when he has to go.. no problem there.. However when he has to go #2 he will run to his room and grab a pullup to put on. Obviously this is getting quite expensive and we are worried b/c he will be in a full day kindergarten next year. He doesn't speak either. My husband took away the pullups today and my son was crying b/c he had to go and refused to go on the toliet. Finally I gave in and gave him one. I made him watch me dump it out into the toliet.. he is terrified of poop! One time a couple years ago he accidentally went in the tub.. he was sooo terrified of it and screamed uncontrollably and now still he refuses to take a bath unless he has underwear or shorts on... Don't have any idea to go about this, don't want to traumatize him.

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M.L.

answers from Cleveland on

This may sound like a strange suggestion but I knew people that it worked with. Have him wear the pullup but sit on the toilet. Cut a slit into the pullup so that the poop falls into the toilet. Eventaully he'll come to understand that the pullup is not necessary and that he doesn't have to worry about the poop if it is in the toilet. Good luck

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J.W.

answers from Fort Wayne on

I know your post is a few months old. Have you tried a reinforcement schedule? If your son can go #2 on the toilet then reward him with something positive that he likes/enjoys. If you do this everytime he might start getting the idea after a while. Depending what you use as a positive reinforcer it might be sooner than later.

You could also try having him clean up himself after he goes #2 when its not in the toilet. You would have to start hand over hand and the first couple of times will be rough, but he will understand the idea.

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A.F.

answers from Columbus on

S.- I have an autistic son of almost the same age and I tried with EXTREMELY frustrating results to get him to poop on the potty for 18 months with some really gross and terrible episodes I won't go into. Finally, knowing that I could no longer be a positive influence on the process, the teachers from his school (half autism/half typical) came and helped me with the process. It's very common and it's nothing you are doing wrong. My son went once on the potty accidentally and never wanted to do it again, too. Contact me if you want to chat by phone and I'll go through everything the school did. Sometimes it helps to have another adult, like a teacher, help with it.

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M.D.

answers from Columbus on

I know it is frustrating but things could get worse. He could stop pooping all together. Withholding syndrome is when children squueze to keep the poop from coming out. Sometimes they start doing it because they will have one painful bowel movement or they start doing it because of your situation. Try to create positive rewards for going on the toilet but I don't think it is wise to take away his pull-ups because he may quit pooping all together. It is horrible because they will get completely blocked up, then it will really hurt when it finally does come out. My son had withholding on and off for years. I would have jumped for joy if he pooped in a pull up. Hang in there.

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D.T.

answers from Muncie on

When you see him go for a pull-up, take him to the bathroom and strip him down ans set him on the potty. Sing, dance, read stories to him, whatever it takes to keep him distracted and calm until he goes then make a huge happy fuss over him you can. Give him treats, kisses and hugs whatever he can handle. If he goes on the potty he doesn't ever have to see it. So that shouldn't be a problem. I hope this helps.

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K.W.

answers from Youngstown on

I read through all of your responses and think they are great ideas. One that popped in my head was when he gets the pull up make him wear it sitting on the toilet. Try it first with the lid down so it is just like a chair. If he will do this for a time then try lifting the lid to see if he will go (in the pull up) sitting on the toilet seat. You may then try taking the pull up off and see what happens. It may or may not work it is just a thought that came to me. Another way to try this is with a potty chair to see if he could sit and poop there. Then unfasten the sides of the pull up and leave it under him so he can still feel it then remove it all together. Whatever you do take it at his pace.

Good Luck

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A.P.

answers from Columbus on

I know exacatlly what you are going through. I had the same problem with my daughter who also has autism, she didnt go #2 on the potty untill she was 41/2 yrs old. I wanted to just give up, I felt like I would be changing diapers forever. Untill one day we were at her physical therapy and she just went in the bathroom and went #2. It was like a miricale, so dont give up he will get it. And dont feel bad you arent alone alot of parents are going through the same thing!

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L.L.

answers from Indianapolis on

I am a past teacher of students with disabilites. I have worked with many children with autism. From my experience...it is really up to them and takes them time. One little boy I worked with went pee in the potty all the time but took him until he was 7 or 9 before he would have a BM in the potty. And he did it on his own with no one coaxing him! He was so proud. Especially with your sons experience in the bathtub it may be one of those things that just takes him his own time. If he has a character he is especially fond of ...sometimes you can make a book of the character doing what you need your child to do and they will copy it. For example, Elmo. You would take pictures of elmo throwing away his pull ups and going to sit on the potty.... be graphic and show elmo GOING #2 in the potty. Etc. This really has worked for some kids! If you have any questions feel free to email me. :) or send me a message on here!

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M.R.

answers from Columbus on

S.,

As a child with autism, I assume that he is receiving special services through your school district that will continue into kindergarten, and then as a school aged child when he transitions to 1st grade. It would be absolutely appropriate for your son to have a personal care IEP, or hygiene IEP with toileting as a goal. If he does not have this, or has not been offered, you should bring it up so that he is using the toilet in time to be included in kindergarten, not using the toilet may be an impediment to being in the least restrictive environment for him, which will be the general education classroom as an ultimate placement. Remember, placement is not decided first, goals are determined based upon need, and placement results from that, so if you have a pre assumed placement of a special education classroom because of his toileting skills, they are going backwards. The goals should be calculated now to get him into the general education classroom.

M.

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S.K.

answers from Columbus on

I don't have any help, but just wanted to offer support and God bless you. I hope you can help him with his fear!

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