How to Discipline Neighborhood Kids If at All...

Definitely tell the parents. However, lets face it: summer, balloons and water equal a lot of fun but sometimes trouble. I would not go on and on about it. Mention the mess to the parents, let them deal with it. I would also reenforce it when the kids came back!!!!

Next time the kids come over tell them, "NO going in the house, and that inclides the basement. You left a huge mess for me to clean up the other day, If it happens again, you won't be allowed to come over and play anymore."

This is a talk to the parents and let them handle their own kids situation. In addition, my child would have been facing harsher consequences. Such as no front yard for a week, back yard only.

You tell the parents and allow them to discipline their kids. You save the lectures for your own kids. They can choose how to deal with theirs.

In the future, I suggest you supervise much better. Your children are only 5 and 7. They shouldn't have had the time for this to happen without you knowing. I am all for independence, but you should really know where they are and if someone is entering your home.

Well, first off, I'd lock the basement door. If your kids let them in, then that's an in-house problem.

Second, I would tell the neighborhood kids that they cannot come play for a day, because they flooded the basement. I would tell their parents (since you all know each other) that their kids were part of the posse that flooded your basement and your yard is a no play zone for the neighborhood for a day (or longer) because you had to spend all night cleaning up. Let them talk to their kids about breaking the rule about going in people's homes. Let them know that their kid went into your home.

I would absolutely not just let it go with a slap on the wrist. Not unless you want to be up til 1AM again.

I would also take this as a sign to check on them more often.

Since you ALL agreed that kids don't go into houses, I would talk to the parents of the kids (not sure how many sets of parents are involved) and tell them you just wanted to make sure you were all on the same page about kids not going into houses because (insert your story here). Just because of my personality, I would include statements of "I probably should have been keeping a better eye on the kids" and "I've already talked to my kids about this" so it seems less accusatory and more "let's make sure all our kids are following the rules."

Also, the next time the kids come over, I'd reiterate the rule about staying in the yard only AND let them know if they come to play, they need to clean up before leaving. There's no excuse for them NOT to clean up after themselves at that age!

Kids plus water doesn't always add up to stellar moments of judgement.
Of course they shouldn't have done it.
The bigger problem is that you were right there and had no idea who was coming in and out of your home.
(On top of that, some kids will deny they did it unless you caught them in the act.)
Our neighbors have an alarm on all doors that access outside that will make a loud beep when ever those doors are opened.
That way no matter where they are in the house they know if someone is coming in/out.
It might be annoying to hear it go off a lot with your own kids going in and out but you would have been alerted and you would have checked down stairs a lot sooner and possibly averted the flooding.
If you had an outside spigot they might have used that (instead of coming inside), left that running and you'd have a flooded out yard and a huge water bill.
There are various outdoor faucet locks that you can buy which will keep the kids (and neighbors/contractors/etc) from stealing water.

http://www.amazon.com/Hose-Bibb-Lockout-Water-Faucet/dp/B...

In the mean time, just go with the calm lecture (to both neighbor kids and their parents) about how hard it was to clean up and if there's anymore playing with water the kids won't be able to come over for a week.

Wow - so many different things here...
1 - These other boys are 6,7 & 9. They are still little boys - they may seem older to you since your kids are younger. But realize the oldest one has only been on othe planet for 9 years. That is not alot. They are all still little boys.
2 - I got stuck on the word "intentional". do you truly believe it was intentional and they couldn't have made the mess by accident? Trust me - the mess was NOT intentional. This was a bunch of kids trying to fill water balloons - have you ever tied a water balloon? I am certain at age 9 I couldn't do it - so I am certain that the water everywhere was a result of trying to fill and tie water balloons.
3 - If they were in and out of my basement for any more than 15 minutes I would have known it. Even at age 9, in a really safe neighborhood, in their own backyard, kids need to be looked in on every 15-20 minutes. Just cause you can hear them doesn't mean they don't need your presence in the yard every once in a while. Forget the mess - what about your liability if one of those kids was injured? When there are a bunch of kids playing in an area do you know it's not uncommon for an injured kid to go un-noticed for a while? I know a family whose child drowned in a pool full of kids, in the yard filled with adults. The parent left the neigher's house to get his other child from soccer practice and when he returned only 20-30 minutes later he found his child at the bottom of the pool. None of the other kids (in the pool 5-10 feet away) noticed, nor did the adults in the area. If one of the neighborhood kids falls, hits their head and becomes unconscious there's a decent chance that the other kids might not notice. That's what adults are for. Suprevision is more than hearing them making ltos of happy noises.
4 - While I would be tempted to call the mom of these boys just to let her know about the huge mess they left. BUT - before you do, figure out what you're looking for in this conversation. It's too late for her to offer to have the boys come help clean up (that would be the best option), do you want her to give them a stern talking to? To discipline them? Realize too that the other mom will probably ask you "didn't you realize they were coming in and out of your basement?" The possibility exists that things may get ugly. When my daughter was between 8 or 9 my neighbor was waiting on her dirveway, by the bushes for me to get home to tell me how awful my child was when she pulled down the bathing suit top of her daughter in front of "everybody". I was trying to carry groceries into the house while this mom was actually trembling telling me about this horror. I was shocked & promised action. I assumed the whole neighborhood of kids had been present - 4+ boys, and 4+ girls. How could my child do such a mean thing?! After speaking with my husband, who was standing about 10 feet away talking to the girl's father, also in our yard about 10 feet away I learned that only the two girls and their little brothers were there, the kids were all in the pool. The girl had first pulled my daughter's bathing suit top down, and then my child did it to the neighbor girl. Her own dad wasn't upset and told her to get over it and the men continued their conversation. When I called the mom later in the day to "clear things up" the conversation just went from bad to worse. The mom began making all kinds of strange accusations about my daughter, my husband, our "parenting skills", etc. By the end of the conversation we were using raised voices and she was telling me that her daughter was no longer allowed out of the house if my daughter was anywhere outside in the neighborhood. I admit I said things I shouldn't have said as well. And it began a very cold period between us for the next many years. (our boys remained friends through it all - and we remained friendly with her husband - she passed away from cancer a few years after that incident and I wonder to this day if the cancer had already spread to some parts of her brain by that time...)
What I'm trying to say is that these boys are still very young, they were all caught up in the moment, they were having a blast - as were your kids. I think your kids may have had a tiny thought in the back of their mind that mom wouldn't like this - but they were probably having so very much fun that the thought never stuck. In fact it might not have really entered their mind. Going in and out of the basement might not have registered in their minds as "going in the house". I also think the bucket/pail broke because they were standing on it to get to the faucet. I truly do not believe they were being intentional in making the mess. My suggestion is to talk to the mom jsut so she's aware of what took place. Do everything in your power to not put her on the defense. Kids are kids. Kids playing with water balloons and tracking mud all over everyplace is a pain in the butt - however it's pretty standard for healthy kids having fun in the Summer.

Final suggestion - 2 words: shop vac

normally i'd say roll your eyes and deal, but this really is a big infraction. i think it's quite appropriate to have a pretty stern talk with them, and even a time-out from playing at your house. i think i'd also have a brief, pleasant, no-drama conversation with the parents too. if my boys had done such a thing (and in the excitement of the moment it totally could have been them) i would absolutely want to know.
'got a sec, wanda? there was an incident at my house the other day with the boys. they all know the 'not in the house' rule, but they all (including mine) decided to play water balloons, and they wrecked my basement with mud. i've got it cleaned up, but i just wanted you to know that i've spoken to them and they're not allowed to play together for the rest of the month. can you believe how kids brains just vacate their heads sometimes?'
khairete
S.

Tell their parents. Tell them they left the water running and that you had to do all the laundry over and go buy stuff to clean it up with.

The kids need more than YOU telling them off. Their parents need to make them earn some money to pay you back for the things you had to go buy and for the time you had to spend cleaning.

I'd do that if you came and told me my kiddo's had done something like that.

I agree the kids got caught up in the moment but here's another thought.

You didn't notice they were throwing water balloons in your yard? No squeals of mock terror and running amok to have more fun getting wet? You didn't notice when your kids were in the house they were wet, muddy, drenched?

So sorta your fault too. You were watching them and didn't watch them...lol. I'd be mad they broke the rules but I would still want them in my yard because I have more control over the little one that way.

I agree with Bug. It's best to talk to the adults. It helps that you don't know them that well, so you don't have much to lose. Be kind in talking to the parents, tell them that you know that all kids sometimes do things without thinking, and sometimes things get out of hand. You have already had a talk with your kids about following the agreed upon rules. Would they please talk to their children about it?

You DO need to describe the mess they made. If they don't know, they will probably not "get" the point of you talking to them.

If you catch the kids in the middle of the infraction you tell them to stop, reiterate the rules, and then hand them whatever they need to help clean it up.

Since you didn't catch them till after the fact you need to let their parents handle it. Tell the parents what happened and ask them to remind the kids they are to stay out of the house. Then the next time they come over just remind them again.

Not cleaning up the yard toys? Let it go. My neighborhood kids (6 - 14) do this too, and it drives me nuts, but it's not a battle worth fighting. I consider it the price I pay to have my kids playing in our yard with their friends as opposed to someone else's house or not playing at all. My kids know that they have to clean up whatever toys their friends got out, so they have actually gotten pretty good at asking the friends to help clean up before they leave.

Everyone is different with letting their kids play alone, but I can assure you that when my 8 and 6 year old have friends over, I check on them often. My kids are allowed to play in the backyard alone (we have a privacy fence) but I will sit on the deck or right by the back door and listen to everything. I wouldn't have so many kids over that I couldn't hear if some were missing.

Have you throught about an alarm? All of our doors chime when they are opened so I would know if people were going in and out - or how did they get in? Wouldn't that door be locked anyways? So someone had to have unlocked the door - I am making an assumption here that you keep your basement door locked.

I would tell the other parents, but also think you need to accept responsibility for not keeping a good enough eye on the whole group of kids in your yard.

ETA: I want to strongly disagree with the poster who said to look directly at the 9 year old and place blame there. I can assure you my 6 year old would do more than my 8 year old would. And the 8 year old would do more than the 10 year old would. If A. could still hear the kids outside, it really could have been any of the FIVE kids there, hers included.

I would NOT single any one child out. That's unfair. A hard lesson learned here.

I think a lot of different people had some responsibility for this mess and it's not only the kids. I agree with Bug that you should talk to the parents and let them handle their own children's discipline. You handled your children's discipline very well. It would be great if you had pictures to show the other kids' parents. It seems to me that a mess like that took some time to happen. Are any adults checking in on the kids periodically while they are having "time to themselves?" Nine and under is still pretty young. It sounds like other parents are just assuming you are watching their kids if they are at your house. Is that the agreement? They may think it is. If not, then they should be checking on their kids regularly as well. You all might want to talk and clarify these expectations.

Keep your basement door locked. Since you are not even for sure on who did what, you cant really do anything about it as far as discipline.

I tell ALL the kids together about the rules of the yard. My kids and any other kids present. They all know what they did, so a lecture isn't necessary. Just lay down the law. Tell them something like this:

There's the garbage, right there. Don't leave trash in the yard or you can't play here anymore.

The basment is off-limits to anyone who doesn't live in this house. Don't go in there or you'll be asked to leave.

This is our home. If you can't respect that and help us keep it nice, you won't be able to play here.

I don't allow water balloons. They make a mess and nobody picks up the broken pieces. I'll put a big bucket of water out in the grass that you can use to fill up waterguns/supersoakers, but waterballoons just aren't allowed.

If you know which kids participated, I would talk to the parents and very calmly explain exactly what happened. Describe the damage in detail and the fact that your basement was wrecked.

"Before your children come back to play, we need to resolve this. There was damage beyond the point of carelessness-- if they had just been filling up the water balloons, that was one thing, and they could have used the hose for that. Instead, the mess was just plain damage and mischief (broken basket, etc.). Before your children can come play again, we need to have a serious conversation. And I need to be clear, if anything of this nature happens again, we won't be able to have your kids at our yard. I really don't want to exclude ANY group of children from playing in the yard, but this goes beyond just having fun." I'd also accept and acknowledge that your kids might have been part of it, and that they have had their punishment of having to stay up cleaning up the mess and will be helping with the laundry.

If the parents are jerks, this doesn't stop you from talking to the kids.I don't know how you feel about it, but I'm the sort of parent who would actually take a kid aside in my yard and just tell them "You know, you and I have a problem we need to work out, about you making a mess in my basement and breaking a lot of rules we all agreed on. Until you and I get things straight, you can't play here because you've broken my trust." I'd want a full, sincere apology from the kids. I'm not willing to let things just 'go on' as normal when the KIDS know that things shouldn't go on as normal. It is perfectly within limits to make clear boundaries with another person's kid on your own property, esp. when the parents have all made an agreement and expected their kids to follow it. The kids need to make amends; personally, if I were a parent of one of the older kids, their summertime would have just started getting *really* boring, because they would be grounded to the inside of the house unless I could be outside with them. Act like a child who needs a babysitter, and I'll babysit you. I'd also be having them fork over their allowance to cover the part of the water bill and the damaged items. But then again, I'm the kind of parent who doesn't want my kid to think it's okay to act like a turd.

(We recently had a playmate over who, when she was here with a babysitter and my son -- the adults were out-- she broke some rules and ended up breaking something in a room she wasn't supposed to be in. I was very direct with her that I had noticed it and that she must stay in where she is supposed to or that she couldn't come visit any more.)

I guess the hard lesson in this is that now you know you are going to have to be present in the living room/entry area if you choose to have kids over. If it were me, I'd store all the outside toys in a garage or in a container that the kids don't have immediate access to outside. And then, every stinking time kids came to play, I'd make my presence very known. Any back doors/side doors would be locked. No nonsense. If your kids aren't outside, then they can't be in your yard, playing.

And do have them pick up the toys when they come. "Oh, Bobby, that bat/car/ball needs to go back in the bin before you leave." Follow through. If you are present, expecting the kids to tidy up, etc, it sets a tone that YOU have expectations at your house.

Do expect, too, that those older kids may not come around for a while. That's okay. Let your kids know that it isn't because of *them*, but that the older kids knew they did something wrong and they're embarrassed as they should be.

ETA: I have to disagree with the idea that 'the parents don't need to know'... I would most definitely want to know if my son did something like that.

In our neighborhood we do allow our children to get into their friends' house (not more than 1 hour and always before is dark).
When the kids come into my house, they follow MY rules (common sense rules) and I am always keeping an eye on them. I usually go whenever they are playing and remind them nicely but firmly about those rules.
When my kids enter into another house, they must follow the other parents' rules (common sense again)and behave according to MY expectations and teachings such as: They will not open refrigerators pantries, bedroom's doors; will not go into another room unless is allowed by the parent in charge, will take their shoes off and will not do anything that hasn't been clearly allowed by the parent in charge. I say this because there are some children who just "help themselves" by opening refrigerators or pantries.
Happily the system works mostly very well.
In your situation, I would just tell the other parents and their kids what happened, and just interrupt the play dates/games at your house for a while. I would say/remind my kids always to tell me when something uncomfortable happens during their play dates at my house or others in the future.
A., things happen, just learn from your mistakes and find solutions that work for yourself and your kids.
Have a good day.

I flooded my basement this summer, flooded the back bedroom with 2 inches of water. I completely forgot that I was filling the kids pool and all it's run off traveled through the yard and in the back basement door. Took me and my kids 3 hours with shop vac's and carpet machines to get all of the water out, plus removing the carpeting form that room. So I feel your pain.

This does fall under kids being kids, but that doesn't mean you let it slide. If you have a fairly decent relationship with the parents I would talk to them about it. This doesn't fall under the 'major' category, but it does need to be dealt with.

If that's not an option then the next time the boys come over have a sit down and talk to them. You don't have to be mean or angry, just let them know that what they did meant you couldn't get to bed that night, and that they know they are not allowed in other peoples houses (which I will never understand that rule). It's perfectly acceptable to let kids know when they screwed up.

I haven't read any other responses, but this is what I would do. I would walk down to each of their houses and have a chat with their parents and them present. Tell them the entire situation, the huge mess, having to go buy specific cleaning supplies late at night to tackle their mess and finish off with reminding them of how they not only created an unacceptable mess, but broke a major, longstanding ground rule of never entering the house. Hell, they willfully snuck into your house knowing full well it was against the rules.

I would then tell the parents that your children helped clean up the entire mess late last night when it was discovered, otherwise you would have called their homes and ask that they come back over to also assist. I would then propose to the parents that since their kids helped create (or created entirely themselves as it were) the mess and didn't have the opportunity to clean it up, that you feel that some sort of remediation on their part would be not only helpful to you, but warranted. I would then look to their parents for suggestions/ideas to make amends ... raking leaves at your house, sweeping concrete, SOMETHING. Now, perhaps this is old school but this is how it was done when I was a kid and it was quite effective.

I would also tell them that from now on when they come over to play in your yard, they must alert you a few minutes before they plan on leaving and at that point ALL children (not just yours) will begin clean-up of the yard.

Next time they are over you just say in a clear firm voice "stay out of the basement" out of curiosity how did they get to the basement? Is it a separate entrance or through the kitchen? I would just say flat out stay out of the house. Don't make it a huge deal. You definitely want to be the house where the kids hang out. It's a bit of a pain now but when they are older you will be glad they are hanging at your house and not at others. As that keeps you in the loop. I always made ours available and consequently we always knew what they were doing and where our kids were

You don't punish other people's kids.

A.:

So you are telling us that you didn't notice the water balloons? You didn't hear the "thud" or the "snap" of the water balloons? Your kids didn't come in and state - Mommy!! Jack is making water balloons?!?! Your kids are just as much to blame as the others. If your kids knew what was going on was WRONG - they failed in stopping it or telling you.

So what to do now? It's over and done with. You didn't address it right then. did you take a picture of the mess? What did you learn from this?
1. Keep your basement door locked.
2. Remind your children of the rules and what is acceptable and NOT acceptable.
3. Kids come over to play in YOUR yard? They need to be reminded of the rules and what is allowed and NOT allowed.

Don't you have a sump pump in your basement to help with water?

It's not your place to "punish" them. You can tell them how disappointed you are from their actions - and breaking the rules. But to punish them? Nope. Not your place. If your kids did that to MY house? What would you expect me to do? How exactly do you want to punish them?

Talk to the parents - with the kids present - tell them what happened and the mess you had to clean up. Remind everyone of the rules and boundaries!! This is a lesson learned!!

There's your kids story and then there's the other kids story too. Are you sure your kids didn't assist these neighbor kids? Maybe your kids showed the other kids where to go and asked them to fill the balloons? Your kids may have let some important details out.

Tell the other parents the entire story, let them discipline their kids. Next time kids come over make it known to the kids that NO ONE is allowed in the basement.....even kids that weren't the culprits should be told.

I would tell the other parents and when the kids are at my house again I would have a stern discussion about what had happened and a warning that if it happened again they can't come play at my house. The older kids are old enough to know they weren't supposed to come into the house. I would simply reiterate that the basement is off limits to kids.

It sounds like you have a pretty good rapport with the parents. Let the parents handle it.

TLDR

I have rules at MY house, you follow them or you go home. That is the only discipline you can use on other people's kids.

I think I would lecture all children in my yard about the rules. I would probably give a speech something like this 'hey everybody, do you all remember that all kids are to play outside and no come in the house?' They will probably nod or something, 'well I found a huge mess in my basement and I am not happy about that, if I ever find that again our yard will become completly off limits.' I would keep an eye out and tell that to every child that came to my house that day, and the next if there are lots of different kids. I would probably spot check the basement while they were all playing. If you feel sure you know exactly which kids did this, I think talking to the parents would be good. I would want to know if my boys trashed someone's home, I would not be happy at all. I would also want to know that my kids were going into someone's home. I would not like that either. I vote for talking to everyone.

You absolutely should say something to the other kids. Stand them in front of you, describe the mess and what it took to clean it up, remind them that they knew what the rules were and that they should not have broken the rules.

Tell them that you are happy that they were playing with water balloons (if you are -- I personally think it's a fun game), but next time they need to talk to you to figure out a way to fill them, not just go into the garage. Next time, they will probably comply. They are good kids, and they are just doing what kids do. Kids often don't think in the spur of the moment, no matter how many rules they've been given.

Other than that, there is no "disciplining" to do. But you absolutely should talk to them. My rule was that any kid that was in my home and on my property would get the same lectures I gave my own kids, because it does take a village.

IMO you don't need to inform the other parents, stuff like this happens. It's great that your kids have neighborhood kids to play with.

I would tell the parents and tell them that their kids aren't allowed in your yard since they broke rules. And I would certainly be telling the parents that their children owe you and apology and some sort of recompense. I'm thinking their kids need to clean up your yard or pull weeds or something.

I wish you had taken a picture of the mess to show them, later in when they are not swept up in the moment, and a picture of what the basement looked like cleaned up again.....

If you're on good terms with their parents, explain the situation, and that there was already consequences for your own kids (lots of time spent cleaning up a giant mess). Ask them how they would like to address the issue, or if it would be possible to have the kids come over and do chores at your place to help make ammends.

If you're not really on terms with the other parents, the next time the neighbor kids come over, specifically take the 3 of them into the basement and say, "Do you remember what happened last time you were here? You clogged the sink, left a giant puddle on the floor, (etc.). If it happens again, you will be grounded from coming over to our house to play for 1 week."

I would give them a firm talking to along the lines of "I'm really disappointed with what happened here. You know the rules and as the older kids here, I thought I could count on you to abide by them but I guess you're not mature enough for that yet" (looking right at the 9 year old). Then let them and their parents know that because of what happened, no more playing in your yard for the rest of the week (which will ensure that your kids feel some of the lingering consequence as well) and that next week it'll be back to normal. It sounds like your kids will know to come and get you next time they have friends who are breaking the rules. It's a hard lesson, but a good one.

Is there any way to lock off that area? Then if anyone comes in, you could stop them. Also, if I were you, next time they come over, let them know it took you hours to clean up the mess last time and if they want to play with balloons, they either need to go to their house or use the hose outside (my dd just did this with her friends using the hose and it was just fine.). Tell your kids and the neighbor kids that they need to check with you before coming inside to play and you need to approve whatever activity they are doing.

I don't see anything wrong with letting their parents know nicely what happened. Just say "I thought I'd let you know that I told your kids and mine that they can't play with water balloons in our basement. We almost had a flood and a broken bucket."

First of all, I'm sorry, but if they did that much "damage" how did you not hear something at some point? Didn't you periodically check on them???

And second, keep the basement door locked! Then any time any kids come into your yard, go out and repeat the rules! Especially when any "new" kids come in the yard. Sounds like your kids don't really know what the rules are and/or they're too afraid to say something.

As for discipline, I would instruct ANY kids, mine included, to clean up ANY mess they make in your yard. That was our rule and if the neighborhood kids didn't like it, then they were told they weren't allowed to come back. Same if my kids went to other kids' yards - if they made a mess or got something out then they were expected to clean it up and/or put it away.

I like your rule of no inside play!! Be firm!! Your yard, your rules!!!

Good luck!!

Can you lock your basement so they can't access without your permission?

Since they have to go throuh your garage to get to the yard, you could lock that door so they can't just come and go.

As for this time, I think you should talk to the kids when they come again. "Look guys, I am more than happy to have you come over to play with the kids but I need to remind you that you are NOT allowed inside the house (except to use the bathroom?). If someone else is doing something they shouldn't, please bring it to my attention. Additionally, you need to help clean up before you leave". Or talk to the parents of these kids so they are aware that this happened "I am not sure which kids actually did this but when all the kids were coming and going, some went into my basement without my knowledge and left a big mess. Please remind the kids of our collective rules to stay outside."

I haven't read any of the other responses, but from reading your description I can tell that you're fuming currently, as I would be too, about the huge mess and that the kids were in your house. However, once those flames go out, I usually see the situation differently than when I'm in the middle of it, so as someone on the outside here's my thoughts... 5-9 year olds are still young and they do get caught up in the moment. Even though they knew they weren't suppose to be in your home, they probably got this great idea to use water balloons and ran with it. They can't always see the outcome or rationalize how/why it's wrong. My opinion is that your kids should not be punished especially if they weren't active participants in the shenanigans. They're kids and although you could explain that in the future, you'd like them to either say something to their friends or come to you right away, they are children and should not be held responsible for watching over anyone but themselves. Keeping an eye on the kids and making sure nothing is being done that you don't allow, is your job. Not your kids. Granted, I like you, truly appreciate "my time" while the kids play but again, if something went wrong, I think it was your job to go outside occasionally to make sure everything was fine or to redirect as needed. What's done is done though and I do think something should be said to the neighbor kids so they understand that behavior at your house is unacceptable. I don't think you need to bring their parents in on it at this point. I would remind the boys that they are not allowed in the house and if they need something that they need to either knock on the door or ring the doorbell. Tell them that you were not happy about the big mess they left in your house the other day and do not want that to happen again.

Bottom line. If the kids are at your house, they are your responsibility. When my kids were that young, I would have been outside with them. If not outside, would have checked on them often. Not trying to judge, but saying that there being hundreds of broken water balloons would have taken a while. How did you not know??

That said, any kids at our house (and we have had a TON over the years as my kids are not teens) follow our rules. I treat our kids' friends as family members and they get any of the benefits and rewards that family members get. I would have the neighbor kids doing some type of chores to compensate for the extra work/expense they caused you. Also this will help them to realize you are serious about your rules and will enforce them.

Your children bear some responsibility as well. They know what the rules are and they should know what happens if others break the rules. Our kids have been told not to be tattletales over every little thing, but where property destruction comes into play, certainly they should be telling an adult.

As to whether you talk to the parents or not, that depends on your relationship with them. I probably wouldn't the first time (because you don't want to be a tattletale either, and they are kids), but if it happened again, I would.

Next time kids are over, I would have a pow wow with all of them and reiterate the rules.

I would just talk to them the next time they come over and remind them, very sternly and seriously, that you do NOT want them coming inside without asking first, and if it happens again they won't be welcome to come back for some time.
Kids usually HATE getting into trouble and being lectured by other adults so I'm sure it won't be a problem.

I would give them a stern lecture, make THEM tell their parents what they did, and they not allow them over for a week. I think that sets the proper boundaries and makes them accept responsibility for their behavior. Acceptance of personal responsibility is a tough lesson to learn, but one that MUST be learned.

When they came back to play, I would have a little "meeting" and let them all know that they must help clean up at the end of the day and anyone not participating in the cleaning will not be coming back until further notice.

The kids that created the mess should have been involved in the clean up. I would have called their parents right away. For now, I would just ban them from your yard/home for the next couple of weeks and they should also write you a letter of apology.

Keep the basement door locked. If it isn't a safe place for the kids to be, it shouldn't be accessible. Physically go outside to check on the kids in your yard every 15-20 mins. The next time they all come over, remind everyone of the rules. Tell them that if they come inside again or leave a mess you will talk to their parents and your yard will be off limits for a few days. Tell them it is OK for any of them to knock on your door if they need an adult to help them or if they see anyone breaking the rules or doing anything dangerous. Make it about safety and respect. The moment is past and though it was very frustrating, you should focus on the future.

Keep your basement door locked. Also, teach your kids to ask for help cleaning up. My kids learned that lesson the hard way at about age 4, by having to cleanup by themselves after their friends went home.

I'd do a nice reminder to them next time they are over. "Hello kids, while I have no problem with you coming over to our yard to play I want to remind you NOT to go into our house/basement. Last time you were all over you made a huge mess in our basement that I was not have happy with"

And then behind the scenes you make sure to remind your kids that they do not allow their friends in the house. If they have a problem with their friends not listening to come get you or they won't be allowed to have friends come play in your yard anymore.