Playing W/the Neighbor Kids After school...setting Boundaries?

set your rules & have a punishment for breaking the rules. If you're the only adult present, they have to listen to you. It's that simple.

If you approach it from a "fun" standpoint, with a lot of humor & a little drama, then the boys should follow along. If you approach it militantly, then they'll refuse to cooperate.

Soooo, tomorrow, have a snack ready & tell the boys you want to have a "Mom Meeting". Tell them how you feel & what they can do to make your life easier. Tell them the rules, & be sure to have a consequence (as simple as sitting on the porch for 5 minutes). At the end of the meeting, be sure to high five/knuckle/hug them.....

By building a community with the boys, you will be able to relax. Good Luck!

Oh, Oh, Oh, one more comment: I consider any neighbors...both children & adults....to be blessings. In today's world, this is a rarity. My sis & I were blessed with a neighborhood raising us....as were my sons. :)

When my girls were little we lived in a real neighborhood, sidewalks, fenced yards and a big family of all girl "best friends" two doors down. Those girls spent so much time at our house they became like family and we are all still really close even though the older ones are teens and they live 30 minutes away. We still have them over to spend the night and go on trips together.
In order for this type of relationship to work you need to be very direct and have some house rules that may NEVER be broken. For us it was things like do not set foot in the street, ever, bikes on sidewalks or driveways only. We had boundaries of our two houses that the girls were not allowed to go past. Always be polite, respectful and inclusive in your games and play and clean up what mess you create.
Finally you must be honest if you just don't want a house full of kids or if it's time to go home, just say it. Don't feel bad, kids aren't like adults. You can say so-and-so can't play right now because we're having some family time and those boys will be right back over in a few days to ask again no hurt feelings.
Honestly, I rarely had to discipline or direct and almost never said "no". The girls enjoyed an old fashioned childhood riding bikes, putting on "shows", playing in the backyard. It was one of the swwetest experiences our family has had and I know it helped all the kids to develop into happy, healthy, confident young people.
Your lucky to live in that type of place while your boy is young. Just remember to always be direct, if someone is doing something you don't like or if you're just sick of kids, it's time to go home, no excuses necessary.

Set your rules and make the kids follow them, or you send them home. Talk to the other parents - know their phone numbers. They'll be setting the rules at their house, too. Tell the kids when to go home. We've had some friends who would stay all night if we let them. You should be aware of what the kids are doing when they're at your house, and when they elsewhere, a parent there should be keeping an eye out. My daughter is in 4th grade and comes and goes, depending on which neighborhood friends are available to play. She calls when she goes into someone's house. If there's no call, we expect her to be outside on the sidewalk playing somewhere on the block.

Are these kids home alone until their parents get home? Surely, they should have some adult there so these kids aren't showing up at your door for free babysitting every day. I've been known to say, "OK, I think it's time you go play at so-and-so's house" and send them out the door.

Our rule is tht all homework is done right after school.
Then he can play with the neighbors. Until dinner.
As for the helmets, etc., just say "if you're riding a bike, you need to wear a helmet. Do you have O.? Bring it over." It's also OK to say "No biking on the street today. Bikes stay in the garage right now., etc."

My kids are 6th and 3rd grade and play in front of our house with the kids on the street. Just tell the kids what you expect. And if you don't want them over and they show up, you just say your son isn't playing today and send them home. Helmets are a MUST for us too, but not all parents. But I have extra helmets at our house and I tell the kids they have to wear them, and they do. I will step out every 15 min or so to check on them but we live at the end of a cul-de-sac too so I feel pretty good with them being out there. And there are only 6 houses so not much traffic. So yes, just tell them what is expected. Good luck.

my kids are older - so they can play outside by themselves. We live at the end of a cul-de-sac. They ride their bikes and play tag.

Just tell the boys your rules and call your son in when you are ready to get stuff done. It's not silly that you aren't familiar with this. It's OKAY to set boundaries and time limits. I think it's great that you have a neighborhood full of kids!!

Go with what you are comfortable with. Don't say NO all the time. State your safety rules and go from there.

My daughter has a best friend that lives accross the street. Me and her dad just check with each other. If he is already outside watching his kid I say you ok watching mine and he is fine or he will let her come over and say I'm going to run to the store you got her and I say yes..

It's not at all silly. It is important to figure out your boundaries in this area. These are our rules if it helps any. And I just calmly remind the neighbor kids of our rules when they are on our property, but not if they leave our property. Inside play is only allowed if their parents have given permission that day. Otherwise, everyone is outside where I can see them. Neighbors must ask my children permission to ride their bikes and if my kids say no, then the answer is no. None of our riding toys are allowed in the street. If the neighbor kids ride their own bikes in the street, I back off, unless of course I see a car coming. I don't like to see any child in the street but I can't spend all my time and emotions begging another person's child to get out of the street. They typically don't obey me once they are off my property anyway. My kids are not allowed to cross the street without my permission and I either walk across with them or watch them from a short distance. I remind the kids not to walk in the garden and not to chase with sticks. I am against "keep away" type games but I typically only reprimand my own kids if they participate. The other kids get the message. If I ever just want no neighbors over, I tell the kids "Sorry, not today. Maybe another day." If we are outside though, I don't restrict who comes to play in our yard. I have a friend who told us that they don't allow friends over on days before a school day. That made sense to me so I don't let my kids even ask to play at their house during the week.

It doesn't seem silly. I grew up in a neighborhood where we all played outside. My daughter used to play outside with her friends, but we lived in an apartment complex so they were riding around inside the complex and not in/around the street.

But when my GDs got to the age of going outside to play unsupervised, it was VERY difficult for me. I ran from window to window watching them outside! If I looked out the window and could not see them, it was all I could do not to panic. It just takes some getting used to.

You need to let your son know that even if those boys do something, that doesn't make it okay for him to do. Example: boys run across street without looking; your son needs to stop and look. He can still go, but he has to stop and look for cars first. As for the boy doing the tricks on the bike, that's up to him and his parents. Truthfully, I find it disturbing that the kids parents are not home and yet they are allowed to be out running around. When we were latch key kids, the rule was we had to stay in the house and no one could come in.

You can put boundaries around when they show up. Simply tell them that on X day, your son cannot play because he has other things to do. Or tell them that your son cannot play until x time or whatever boundary you want to set. Hopefully they will be mindful of what you tell them, but if not either just don't answer the door or answer and remind them of your rules.