How to "Discipline" an 11 Month Old?

Your child is a baby... she is 11 month old.. she is "vocalizing" and experimenting with sounds...it is "pre" talking. THIS IS A NORMAL developmental phase. In comparison.....with your 6 & 8 year old nephews- they are just being noisy & yelling. THIS IS DIFFERENT.

Remember, for behaviors.. you NEED to look at it from the age your child is... certainly do not compare your baby with a 6 & 8 year old. Tell this to Hubby too. It is not appropriate to compare a baby to a "kid."

Redirection & distraction is usually what is recommended for this age. As you said, you can't really "discipline" an 11 month old.. sure they seem to understand concepts... but they do NOT have impulse control yet or full cognitive ability to understand complex "reasoning".. .impulse control does not even occur until about 2-3 years old. So, even though you tell a baby not to do something, they will do it again.

One good book is "What To Expect The First Year" by Arlene Eisenberg. Or they also have a "toddler book too. It's really great.

I know it's not always easy when a baby or child shrieks at the wrong time or in public... but, well they don't know any better. And yes, yelling back at them will only reinforce that yelling is "good." Oh, also, sometimes babies do this because they don't know it's "wrong" and they think it's funny. Remember... a baby or child this age does not "know" about emotions and all facial expressions yet... and in fact their "emotions" are still developing as well and will continue to do so through toddlerhood.

As a head's up: there WILL be many more phases.. some not so pleasant especially as they go through the "terrible 2's" stage.

ONE thing that can help and which I did with both of my children from infancy: is Teach your baby SIGN LANGUAGE. It will help her to communicate, it will help you AND Hubby to "understand" her better, and it will provide a way for your baby to "talk" to you before she actually learns how to talk.
Teaching a child baby sign language is priceless. They learn it very quickly and it is VERY useful. My kids were "telling" me what they wanted from baby-hood and it really lessens the frustrations in both baby AND Parent. You can find books on it anywhere in bookstores, online, at Amazon.com, at the library, online etc. I HIGHLY recommend this. It will really give another route for you all to communicate as a family...

Or, try keeping a journal on your baby, with each "new" thing she does. Even take photos of her "screaming" and make cute scrapbooks for her. Then when she (& you) get older, it will be a prized memento for her when she is a grown-up young lady with children of her own.

Hope this helps... your baby is NORMAL... they all do this. No need to "scold" her for it.

What helps me is, whenever I am tired or frustrated and my kids are louder than usual... just tell yourself--
Do you want to be a hammer to your child, or a pair of wings for them to soar?

Then, from there... look at your child with different eyes.

All the best,
~Susan

I would not stop her at all from shrieking, unless you don't want her to talk later...this is a VERY normal part of learing to speak. You can, as preiviouslly mentioned teach sign language (there is an einstein DVD out) or just go over to her and whisper right next to her "do you want this toy? Toy, Toy" repeat the main word several times. She doesn't know what these things are called yet, teach her. Babies until about 2 or even 3 do not have the for-thought to know why they got punished or yelled at. They have no clue what they did, they just know that you are mad and yelled or held there arms down. Not a good way to punish. The shrieking will go away when she learns her words for these items, as for the hitting of your face, she is showing you that she loves you, and she is very excited about herself. She doesn't intentionally hurt you. When my daughter does this I take her hands and rub them against my face and say "I love you too baby", or "nice to mommy". I did this with all my kids and even my 2 adn 3 year old now when ever they tell me they love me rub my face. They learn, but don't expect to much to quickly. You need to teach them, not hinder them.

B.,
I'm a part time SAHM and teacher with a 2 year old boy. First... it is so good that you are looking for help in this area and not too embarrassed to ask for help.

Second... there is never a good reason for hitting, tapping, flicking or yelling at a baby or toddler. That won't do them any good.

BUT you also can't let them continue to behave badly or hurt others (particulary mom!).

My son never did the screaming thing, but he has had other issues. I can imagine how upsetting it is for all involved to have your daughter screaming whenever she needs something. Sign language is a big help before they are talking - this has helped many of my friends children express what they need instead of getting frustrated.

Time outs do work for little ones - that is mostly how I've handled my son. I didn't believe in them until I had my own children. Part of why it works for little ones is because you are taking them away from what is causing the shrieking. Then they have time to calm down. You only put them in time out for one minute per year of their age. So your little one only needs to sit there for a minute. Sometimes my son even puts himself in time out! (That surprised me!) He just needs a minute to calm down.

The other thing I did is similar to you. I simply tell him no. When I tell him no, I then remove him from whatever it is that he shouldn't be touching or doing. We then start another activity that he can do. This has to be repeated often because it takes a long time for toddlers to understand. So you do it until she figures it out. For some things it may only take 2 or 3 times, for other things it may take 2 weeks of saying no.

By the way... stopping her from shrieking isn't going to stop her from talking. She needs to understand what proper communication is.

Keep working at it and I wish you all the best.

Hi B.,
I have a 15 month old boy and he doesn't do the yelling thing but he does get into everything!!! A friend of mine gave me this tip since I was haven't a hard time getting him to obey and he would get into stuff. This would also work for when she hits or pulls hair. I hold his arms and restrain him until he gets upset. Not just a little but really upset and I say no. This is uncomfortable for him but not painful. He doesn't like it and so far it has worked well for us. Stay calm and not upset. Even if when you're at a restaurant and she yells. My son likes to throw food and bang things. This has worked too. I just grab his hand and say "No" and it's been effective so far.

Good luck and it is a season. I also have a 4 1/2 year old and it's all training along the way so when they're older they don't exhibit the behaviors of your 6 & 8 year old nephews. Very different behavior.
Good luck!

At 11 months old she already knows how to ring your bell. I would suggest removing her from the situation immediately upon the shrieking. This will be labor intensive for you to say the least. There has to be a result that she does not like as soon as she displays the behaviour. When she slaps and stuff I would leave her presence if possible or hold her confined (arms pinned) facing away from you. If you are in public you may have to leave the area with her until she calms down. Parenting this child could be a big job, it seems to me that if you have 2 one is an angel and one is a handful. Good luck.