I am 20 weeks along with our 2nd, and my 3 year old is so exited, he hugs and talks to the baby all the time. He is also a very deep thinker and wants to know how everything works. For example the other night he said he wished he could be a piece of food so he could see what happens to it when we eat it. So we had a lesson on the digestive system, and I showed him some videos/pictures online.
So now he wants to know how the doctor gets the baby out. He asked if he had to cut my tummy, so we talked a little about how sometimes the doctor has to do a surgery to get the baby out, and how the doctor is very careful not to hurt Mom or the baby, and I left it at that. But I don't anticipate having a c-section so I guess I should somehow explain the other way babies come out. I want to be direct with him (nothing about the stork bringing the baby) I think it's important for kids to know about how things work, but just in a age appropriate time frame.
Advice?
Just tell him that women/girls have a special place between their legs where babies come out. That's what I told my boys. Now that the oldest is 6, I'm getting more specific with terminology and what not, but three year olds seem to be fine with that answer.
You've got a little engineer in the making there! How terrific to have such a curious child who thinks things through and asks questions!
Get him as many "Magic School Bus" books as you can find. He is the type of child who will love, love, love them.
As easy as it will be to tell him so much, hold back, L.. He is too young to think about all this. He might want you to tell him, but that doesn't mean it's good for him to hear. If he starts getting bad dreams or worrying excessively, you'll wish you hadn't told him too much. Choose age appropriate explanations - in fact, call your ped and ask what to tell him.
Short answers are best. Not TMI. Let him grow into it.
Congrats on the upcoming birth!
I love this question! My son (soon-to-be 4) asked me how he came out of my belly the other night as we were getting ready for a bedtime story. I'm due with baby #2 next week, so I was waiting for it.
I explained that the doctor had to cut a tiny slit in my belly to get him out safely. His next question "Did they just pull me out?" Yes. "Did it hurt me?" No. "Did it hurt you?" No, the doctor gave mommy a shot so I wouldn't feel it.
"So, is the doctor going to have to cut a little hole for the baby too?" Maybe, we'll see honey. "If they don't cut a hole, are you going to poop her out?" My husband lost it and my answer was "kind of like that" and we moved on.
I love how their minds work, but at the same time I didn't need the details shared at preschool the next day. I would suggest explaining that there is more than one way for a baby to be born and the doctor will decide how that will happen when you get to the hospital. No need to go into more detail than that... and only if it comes up again!
My son was almost three when our daughter was born. We opted for honesty and just told him the baby comes out of mommy's vagina (he knew the correct terms already). He then asked "How will it fit?" So we explained that when it was time for the baby to come out, my body will stretch and make the room for the baby and then go back to normal. He was happy with that and didn't ask any more questions after that.
I'd be honest without the gorey details. There is a place called a vagina where the baby can get out with the doctors help. If she wants too much information you can always say, "That's hard to explain because some things are hard to understand until you get older. Someday it will all make sense."
"There's a special passage between a woman's legs for the baby to come out."
This has always worked for me. (Of course, we label body parts correctly, but girls can be confused about the actual difference between their urethra and vagina, so I rarely explain it that way. ) When I was a nanny, I did get the follow-up questions from kids about "do you poop it out?" With my own son, when he was four, the question was "Can I see on you where I came out ?" Because he was so direct, and because I didn't feel a detailed gyn show from me was appropriate, we looked at some very low-key pictures of childbirth from Sheila Kitzinger's "Guide to Pregnancy and Childbirth". (By low key, I mean that the mother in the pictures was not upset, nor were the pictures bloody). This is more than what most kids ask at this age, but I figured that since he was 'open' to information, this would be one way to normalize childbirth for him before he was old enough to be embarrassed about it. He asked one other time a few months ago, to see the pictures. No huge questions, and he wasn't upset about the information.
It's great that you want to be direct. A good book can help...check your local library and find something age-appropriate for your little guy that you are comfortable with. Good luck!
The baby comes out of mommy's special hole called a vagina. I lucked out in having to explain it because my 4 and 6 year old found an old childbirth book that shows photos of a vaginal delivery in detail.
When I was pregnant with my 4th our daughter was 3 years old and she was so excited. When I came home from the hospital she kept wanting to see my stomach. I didn't think too much of it thinking she noticed it was not as big, or hopefully wasn't as big. :-) One day she said, 'I know the baby didn't come out your stomach because there is no cut there. How did she get out?' I said something like a 'special way God made'. Well a few days later she came back and said she knew how it got out now and she had figured it out pretty much. I then told her. IF they really want to know tell them as accurately and briefly as possible.
I told my 4 year old that the doctor reaches up there and pulls it out. That was enough. I didn't have to go into any more detail. I have found that when the questions get too difficult saying "It's magic" stops the questions. lol (I'm just kidding -sort of).
I haven't read the other responses, so dont know if this is a repeat or not, but I had a cousin who answered this question so perfectly that I am going to use it when my kids ask! lol.
She told her children that boys are born with 2 holes (down there) in their body, 1 to poop, 1 to pee, but girls are born with 3 holes, 1 to poop, 1 to pee, and 1 where the baby comes out. -you can add- if you don't have the doctor cut the baby out of your belly, the doctor is there to catch the baby after mommy pushes it out (her 3rd hole.)
Simple to understand and true, not giving them ALL the info they will get, but enough to satisfy their curiosity in the matter.
Good luck and congrats on the pregnancy! :)
Aw just had to share, my 3y/o knows the Dr cut her out my yummy along with her siblings and told her pediatrtion she had a baby in her yummy that needed taken out. Her Dr laughed so hard!Be honest little ones are little sponges
Honestly, My girls like watching The baby story, Bringing home baby, and birth day. Then I tell them that the baby comes out after being pushed. But they seen it on tv, so they know. BUT, I have girls, so for a boy, I have no clue what your comfortable telling him.
