How Do You Teach a Kid Not to Kiss on Lips Anymore?

Updated on February 27, 2017
K.M. asks from Kent, WA
13 answers

My two year old has been kissing on the lips for 6 or so months now. I originally tried to correct her by kissing her cheeks, but she was very insistent so I kinda caved because it was only to me and her grandma before bed or sometimes when one of us was leaving. Now she's started kissing everyone at her daycare, and it makes her providers there very uncomfortable. Does anyone have any suggestions of how to stop this behavior?

EDIT: yeah, at the daycare, they've been telling her to "save her kisses for mama at home", I just didn't know if it was something i should be taking care of, because they brought it up to me today.

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So What Happened?

Thank you everyone for your suggestions.

In reply to Apple, My mother actually has custody of my daughter, I do not. We all live in the same house.

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answers from Oklahoma City on

Everyone needs to put a stop to this. I know it's cute and loving and goofy but it's not a very good thing overall. Not only do the people she's kissing on the lips have their own germs she has her own too.

Please start teaching her what no means and that she has to mind when she is told no.

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answers from St. Louis on

All my kids kissed on the lips and then they didn't. Can't remember what age but I never did anything to make them stop. Not sure why it would make her providers uncomfortable it is pretty normal for all kids

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answers from Springfield on

My in-laws still kiss family on the lips. I'm still not quite comfortable when my MIL does it to me, but that's just how she shows affection to her kids and grandkids. It's not wrong. It's just not my family's custom.

If it's a problem at daycare, then daycare needs to address it there. You could talk to her about things we do at home and with family vs. things we do at daycare. I had to explain to my boys that rules out our house weren't always the same as rules at grandma's house. I can't remember if they understood that when they were 2, but I'm sure it helped them begin to understand.

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answers from New York on

I think the problem is the daycare providers not being firm enough with her. "Save your kisses for mama at home, sweetie" is not exactly a strong command. They need to just say "NO - NO mouth kissing at daycare."

By telling you, it sounds like they are hoping you will be the firm disciplinarian. But at her age, she needs someone telling her "no" immediately in the moment. The daycare providers just need to be more clear with her.

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answers from Dallas on

She sounds normal to me.

I would not try to stop my child from showing affection to me.

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answers from Portland on

I'm guessing the daycare providers just wanted to make you aware of it. No doubt they would be experienced in dealing with 'overly affectionate' kiddos - hands to yourself, etc. We always had a kisser or hugger in my kids' early groups. Not a big deal.
One of mine still kisses us on the lips. I never made a big deal about it.

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answers from San Francisco on

There's nothing harmful about kissing your toddler on the lips. As a matter of fact, my adult son still gives me a peck on the lips on occasion.

It sounds like the daycare people know what to do, I wouldn't worry about it.

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answers from Norfolk on

Actually, daycare and preschool should be teaching them to keep their hands, lips and other body parts to themselves.
Just "No kissing, Sweetheart. No one wants to spread germs around.".
They learn to sneeze into their elbow and wash hands a lot too.

Why shouldn't it be about germs?
Between Hand, Foot, Mouth, flu, RSV, and any number of other things they can catch (yeah I know a lot of that can be airborne) does any kid really NEED direct mouth to mouth contact with anyone who may or may not be vaccinated against the typical childhood diseases (measles, mumps, rubella, chicken pox, etc)?
Sure they get exposed to plenty, but teaching to keep their mouths off other people will serve them well.

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answers from Boston on

I wouldn’t make it about “germs” at all! There’s no point in telling a kid that it’s okay to share germs with family but not with others. Eventually they figure out that it’s a lie or hypocrisy, and then they don’t trust parents on other stuff.

Instead, I’d handle it as you do other private things: there are boundaries that people observe. You don’t kiss people on the lips unless they want it and are very close (you can decide if you want her to kiss you that way). You don’t take your diaper off in public – just for parents and babysitters to change/bathe you and for the doctor to examine you. You don’t open a closed door. You knock and wait for someone to say “Come in.” You go to the bathroom privately. And so on. Mouth kissing, touching, holding hands, hugging….these are all things with boundaries. Use age appropriate language of course, but that’s the message.

But I’d say this is a totally normal phase for kids.

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answers from Baton Rouge on

I'm grown and still kiss my parents and my friends on the lips. My daughter is grown and has always kissed me on the lips.

It sounds like the problem at daycare is the kissing in general and not necessarily the location of the kisses. Just keep repeating to her that daycare is not the place to give kisses. She will eventually get it.


answers from Rochester on

Never had an issues with this kissing business. First of all. Only the parent of a child or brother or sisters kiss on the lips. Grandmother does not kiss grandchildren on the lips. You are the one cause this issues. I hope and pray your mother is respect you and your daughter. When you having family time. It just the parents and children. No one else. When you bath your daughter or other personal things in the family. It is private, no one is to be around. When I had my sons and daughters. I did not allow other moms to hang out in the bathroom or other private area of the home. You mother is not the mother of the child. She does not have the same rights as you do with a child. Are you marry? Do you have other children?

I going to give you a tip here: One of the down fall of parents and children relationship is other women hanging around when family is doing just private things like bath. Your mother does not need to be hanging around when you and your daughter are doing family things.

Your daughter need to understand at the daycare that we do not kiss others. That is not a place to do that.


answers from Boston on

If this was started at the daycare, I would say, it's their responsibility to stop it. They can help you, but since this habit was taught at home, home needs to initiate stopping it as you are doing, but ask for assistance from the daycare. Together you will be able to work it out. At the daycare, in this day and age, it not even appropriate for her to even kiss anyone on the cheek. That's a shame, because it used to be cute. :)



answers from Los Angeles on

Omg. I have the exact opposite. My kid (but again he's a boy going on 9) hates kissing on the lips, gross etc even mom and dad. He will brush kiss me on my cheek, or dad, I'm backing off hoping it's a stage or maybe just a boy thing, because I'm a very warm and fuzzy person hugging etc. he will not even hug close people that often. But he's such a compassionate boy just isn't very physically affectionate anymore.

I'm fine with a little one kissing on lips but at school and others probably not appropriate. I'd just explain or role play with dolls the behavior she should have at school and/ or others

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