How Do I Handle My 7 Year Old

I don't know anything about adhd, but it just sounds like your daughter needs to decompress after school. Maybe all she needs is a snack and activiity (like riding her bike outside).

We've all been waiting for winter to end - I think as it gets warmer and she can play outside, her behavior will change. I would keep on with the time outs for tantrums. This is what I tell my kids, "Go scream in your room. You can come out when you've calmed down." Same thing when they are disrespectful, "Go to your room. You can come out when you can talk to me properly."

My 8 year old (just turned in March) has been very challenging this year. It took awhile for me to get to the bottom of her acting out (talk about disrespect - Oy!). The "popular" girls at school kicked her out of their group. Who knows why. My daughter didn't know what to do about it, but was obviously upset. I gave her space to talk about it and made some suggestions, but mainly listened. I also talked to her teacher and the teacher reminded all the students about being nice to each other. Things have settled down at school and guess what? They are calmer at home.

Good luck!

Hi K.,
My daughter is very similar. In January she was diagnosed with ADD, dyslexia and sensory integration issues. It was taking us forever to do homework and when she came home from school she was very defiant, and extremely disresepectful. During school my daughter was very well behaved but then when she came home....she let loose. I do the timeouts too and have felt like I was on an episode of Super Nanny. My daughter would keep getting up and I would keep putting her back and resetting the timer. Consistency and not giving up has worked for me. Mind you, she will be screaming at me and trying to get my attention....I just ignore her and don't say anything until the timer goes off.

We had taken my daughter to a Neuropsychologist in Arlington Heights for her learning problems. He referred us to Joe Nameth who is a Child Psychiatrist in Wheaton for the ADD. We have decided to use medication to help her with her attention. We are only into the process 2 weeks. Her dosage needs to be increased but so far I see a definate improvement with her attention. I wish you the best of luck. You're not alone!!!!!

When my child gets home from school they are not ready to sit, do homework, sit and eat. This is being a kid. We try to always do a physical activity after school. We either ride bikes, run around the yard or go home if it's rainy to our dance party. I get exercise, they get exercise and it's my time to interact and find out what she did at school, if there are any problems, if she may be coming down with a cold, if there is simply something she wants to get off her chest. If after 30-60 minutes she seems too hyper to do homework try getting a balance ball for her to sit on to do homework or have her stand at the kitchen counter on one foot while doing homework. Sometimes in order to calm and focus the body still needs movement. There is a guy that cames around once in a while and does free parenting seminars I think it's called Feel the calm or Raise the calm. He gives tips on how to help out kids who live a little differently than parents expect. Let me know if you need me to dig for more info on him.

Barbara
____@____.com

K.,
You just discribed my 7 yr old son! The first thing that I did was to talk to his teacher to see how he was acting in school. Of course he is the "perfect" student and never shows the teacher anything but the up most respect. So our theory is that he is working so hard to be "good" at school that he totally let loose when he gets home. So she is having him do some things like walking the stairs or carrying books to the library before he comes home. To kinda get some wiggles out. And then when he gets home he has a snack and then chooses an activity depending on how he is feeling. For example, if he is hyper then he jumps on our mini-trampoline or if he feels tired then he watches TV. I used to give him a snack and then do homework before any fun. This new system is working really well! We have also started a reward system for NOT being disrespectful at home and he LOVES that!! Good luck, I know how maddening this can be!!
D. L.

If you believe there are signs of adhd, then the best thing to do is have her diagnosed so you know for sure. There is a very specific list of symptoms of which at least three symptoms have to be present for a child who may have adhd. Is this what you are basing your opinion on? If you're just guessing, then first do the internet research to see how likely it is. If you still believe it might be adhd based on your internet research, then stronly consider finding a good doctor and having a diagnosis made. Finding appropriate treatments and approaches (not necessarily including medication but possibly) while they are younger is going to mean much more success as they get older. The school may have resources for you to follow up on. If not, then please contact NAMI DuPage ###-###-#### - the organization might be able to direct you to other community information resources for help. It might just very well be acting out after behaving all day like the other posts suggest! My daughter is like that as well.

Try reading Dr. Lehman's advice. He has a free newsletter for parenting kids. Lots of sound advice I don't read other places. http://empoweringparents.com Look through the archives on the side for info pertinent to your situations.

I have 3 grown children and I truly believe that good spanking now and then would do wonders. It sounds like she doesn't know yet who's in charge at your house. You would be surprised at what that could do...it doesn't take long to establish the fact that you are the parent and they are the child. If she is disrespectful it's not because of adhd. She simply hasn't been told in a way that matters to her yet. I would recommend a book...either "The Strong Willed Child" or "Boundaries With Kids" ...if they don't have them at Barnes and Noble they will order them for you. You can do it!