How Do I Get My 20 Month Old Get Back to Sleep Again?

Updated on March 15, 2009
K.B. asks from Leominster, MA
7 answers

My son had a rough infancy, but after six months and a couple weeks of crying it out sleep methods he became a champion sleeper! That lasted until about last month. He moved to a big boy bed in January and did really great for the first month or so, he was so proud of himself, but in the last few things it has gone from bad to worse. Now we start bedtime (after our usuall bath, teeth, books routine) around 8:30, and he will fight it for a good hour or two before finally falling asleep. He wants someone to sit with him until he falls asleep but I also have a 3 month old to care for and am often home alone at night because of my husbands work. I got my son a white noise and lullaby machine that also projects images on the ceiling, and he loves it but still freaks if I leave. I have had to put a gate up at his door since he will no longer go lay down when I ask, so he stands at the gate and screams until i come back to sit with him. I dont want him to get used to me being there, I know he needs to fall asleep on his own and used to be so good at it! So when he finally does go to sleep he gets up 2-6 times a night and repeats the entire process.I have tried letting him cry it out, that lasted hours and woke up my daughther. I let him watch his ceiling lights, listen to music, but I dont want to get into a habit of letting him into my bed so I keep trying to get him back to sleep. I work full time and leave the house early AND I am still getting up with my little one one or two times a night for feedings, so that means from 8 pm- 6 am I am up four- eight times a night! I can't keep doing this, please help! It's also straining my love life and marriage and frustrating my with guilt! I already have the baby in the one crib we have,and my son wont go in it again anywas, so thats not an option. Please help, any suggestions to get him back to sleeping all night on his own??

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.L.

answers from Burlington on

check out www.sleepsense.net Dana Obleman is a child expert on this. My daughter in law filled a survey and gets e mails and you can check out what Dana has to offer . Debbie

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.H.

answers from Boston on

Hi K.,

I agree with Catherine I think that it might be better to try putting him to sleep earlier. My 3 1/2 year old is in bed at 7:30pm and my 16 month old is in bed at 7pm. They sleep till at least 6am. He might just be overtired and can't get to sleep. The other thing that might have happened is he is feeling displaced because of the new baby. My daughter slept great in her big girl bed and had been for 3 months by the time we brought her baby brother home, all of a sudden she was having nightmares and waking up in the middle of the night and wanting to sleep with us. She finally got over it but I spent many nights sitting in the chair in her room waiting for her to go to sleep, lying in bed with her, letting her cry it out. It was awful but she finally realized he wasn't going any where and neither was she. We changed up the nightly ritual a little bit and spent a little extra time with her before bed and reassuring her how much we loved her. I know it can be tough my husband and I both work full time, I work 3 nights a week and he works 5 days every week so it is always a balancing act. Good luck and I hope you start getting some sleep soon.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.S.

answers from Boston on

I recently have been going through something similar with my almost 3 year old. A great sleeper who once in a big boy bed was getting up all the time and waking really early in the morning. We just stuck to our guns. Put him back in bed when he got out without talking to him or engaging him at all. Also moved his bed time up to accomodate for all the up and downs. In fact we noticed if we could get him to bed around 6:30 he would sleep later in the morning. A few nights of super early bed times, and repeatedly putting him back in bed with no interaction seems to be working. He's now staying in bed most of the time -- or getting up only once and staying in bed until after 6AM. So it will be hard but the tougher you can be with him I think the better for you, for him, and for your youngest. Do not get into this "laying with him" every night. That's a slippery slope in my book. Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.B.

answers from Boston on

i dont know if this will be helpful- but i've gotten some good ideas from this woman's blogs. i havent ever bought the 'book' or program, but i do find some of the advice helpful in formulating my own response to night wakings! (i have a 23 month old who also has some issues with waking up recently)...

http://www.sleepsense.net/blog/my-toddler-wont-stay-in-be...

best, A.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.F.

answers from Boston on

Hey K. - I would consider either putting him to bed earlier like some of the other mom's suggested or changing his nap schedule. Every child's sleep needs are different so the problem could be that he's overtired and needs to go to bed earlier or that he's ready to start cutting back on his day time naps (maybe even both). I'd try adjusting his sleeping routine to see if that helps. And after you make a change, give it two days or so to let your son adjust and see if it worked. I remember the days of getting up so frequently at night and it hurt! I hope you find some relief soon!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.M.

answers from Burlington on

Hi K.,
I'm sorry you are up so much! I have a 17 month old and a 3 1/2 year old and the older one still wakes in the night. I'm just about to have our third in a week or so and getting geared up for no sleep... anyway, the first thing that struck me was starting your routine at 8:30. Have you thought of starting the bedtime routine earlier? My youngest goes to bed between 6:30 and 7 and we start stories etc. with the older one right at 7 and she's asleep by 7:30 or so. This could really help.... and I promise they won't wake earlier in the morning...

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.C.

answers from Boston on

Hi K.
I feel your pain!!!!! my daughter will be 2 in april and I just got out of the habit of laying down with her to fall asleep but she does the same thing and is up almost every hour in the middle of the night screaming..... it is deff hurting my marriage also and I mean come on who wants to get up that many times in the middle of the night..... One suggestion I got was that around this age they start to realize when they have to use the bathroom and that could wake them up in the middle of the night. I've put my daughter on the toilet a few times in the night and she goes pee and back to bed. But other times it doesn't work. I just wanted to let you know that there is someone else out there who is going through this also... I have just tried to use baby steps with her and take things slowly. I am also expecting our 2nd child in october so hopefully we can break this habit soon.. At least its comforting to know it won't last forever .... I HOPE :)

much luck
caitlin

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches