2 Y/o Waking up at Night

Updated on August 22, 2008
B.M. asks from Arlington, TX
17 answers

Hi Ladies, I need some advice. My husband and I are about at our wits end getting our 2 y/o to not get up in the middle of the night. Up until 3 weeks ago he was a GREAT sleeper. We never have had trouble putting him to sleep and he always stayed in bed. 3 weeks ago he woke up at 3AM and would not go back to bed. Last night he wandered in our bedroom at 11:30, 1:30, 3:45, and 6 AM! Argh! We've tried supernanny techniques, we've tried rewards, we've tried locking his door... it seems like we've tried everything. He doesn't really tell us why he's up. Sometimes he says he needs to go potty or needs a drink of water etc. Some of it is about control, for instance he insists on having the light on or the fan off, which is fine if he'd stay in bed! We don't want to put him in bed with us. Anyone else go thru this? Any advice? We're hoping it's a phase that will pass soon so we can get our sleep!

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So What Happened?

Thank you to everyone for the wonderful advice! It's great to have a group like this to get ideas from. I think consistency is the key for us. We have been sticking with a consistent bedtime routine (following pictures with each step- potty, bath, brush teeth, water, book... so we've gone potty, gotten water etc. so he can't ask for it). He loves this. Then when it's time to say goodnight I remind him if he stays in bed, the door stays open, the light stays on, and the fan stays off (as his controlling toddler-self prefers it). If he gets out of bed the door gets closed... etc. He throws a fit of course, but it seems to be working- he's learning we mean business! I'm also rewarding him with a sticker chart in the morning. He stayed in bed all night last night, yea! Thanks again for the support and advice!

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C.F.

answers from Dallas on

It could be testing limits; however, when my older two were that age we gave them a bowl of oatmeal before bedtime and that did the trick.

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C.C.

answers from Dallas on

It is the age. Their imaginations really kick in and they are more prone to dreams, to "thinking" about things, etc. First, you want to be sure you have a relaxing bedtime routine. Sitting quietly, reading, etc. Next, you want to be consistent w/your method of dealing with these middle of the night wakeups. It sounds like you've tried an awful lot of different things in a three week period . . . no consistency, therefore no success. I think the supernanny techniques are great, but they may take several weeks before really sinking. So again, just pick a method, then stick with it! I know it's tough because you are tired. Good luck!

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K.B.

answers from Dallas on

My son did the same thing around 2 yrs. old. I think it is because they are starting to either become fearful of noises, etc. We put a sleeping bag beside our bed for him to get into in the middle of the night. Eventually we took away the pillow, then the sleeping bag so if he comes down now he has to get on the floor with nothing. You want to make it as uncomfortable as possible if they continue to do this that way they will hopefully stay in their own bed. Good Luck!

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D.F.

answers from Dallas on

My 4 yr old went through the same thing. We tried everything as well, but what finally worked was a very "special" night light. It is actually a pool light, and you can get one at Target. In the pool it floats down and casts "polka-dots" on the bottom, but in her room, the "polka-dots" are on the ceiling. They have a timer, so they go off after an hour; but, after she would get up the first time, the "polka-dots" went away ("This is so sad! If you stay in bed tomorrow night, the polka dots can stay in your room). The second time, the gate went up and did not come down until We were ready to take it down in the morning ("This is very sad. But, we love you and want you to be safe. We'll see you in the morning").
Be prepared to hear the crying and gnashing of teeth that will go along with you taking something away or putting up a gate (I like the gate because I know she's still okay - just mad), but he'll live!
It took about 10 nights of repeating this process, but now - I get to sleep though the night too!
Hope this helps? Each child is so different - it's mostly trial and error . . . Good luck. I'll be praying you get a good night's sleep tonight!

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R.S.

answers from Dallas on

Oddly enough, he could be overtired. Our son did the same thing as a toddler - started a perfect sleeper, then was waking 4 times a night. We moved his bed time just 30 minutes earleir after reading he might be overtired, and he slept through the night again! A little change, but a BIG difference!

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K.F.

answers from Dallas on

Well, here's the deal, don't play his game. If he wants the light or the fan, tell him to turn it on. If he wants potty or water, tell him to get up and get those things and go to bed. The water can be solved by a sippy cup with water next to the bed, that is what my SIL did with hers because they wake up really early so they have it when they go to sleep and when they wake up that way.

Unfortunately, the only thing you can do is keep telling him to go back to bed or taking him there. Outside of that, you can try giving him a carrot for good behavior.

Start a behavior chart that is not directly related to going to bed and staying in bed. If he does what you ask, he gets a smiley on the chart. One of the things that he can get a plus or minus for is going to bed and staying in bed, but you make the deduct for getting out of bed like two or three frowning faces. Figure out at the end of the week what he can do or find a couple of inexpensive choices. Go through where he stands on each day and if he sees that bed is getting him to the point that he can't earn the good stuff, he has a choice to make.

Whether something is going on or whatever, he is obviously trying to get your attention. Is there anyting in the last few weeks that has changed or anything in your routine? Any things you used to do that you haven't had time for? If he is still getting a nap during the day, now may also be the time to cut it out, he will be flat out too tired to wake up. And that is another thing, wear his rear out so that he is truly tired at the end of the day.

Bed has always been a struggle with my kids, they are hardwired I think to be night and definitely not morning people. The best time of my life since I had the last child was last fall during football practice. Both my boys, 9 and 13, were so darned tired at the end of the day they were going to bed by themselves. I thought Jesus had returned, truly because I haven't had a peaceful evening and bedtime routine since my 16-year-old was born.

Most important than anything else is consistency. You let him get in bed with you once to get some sleep and to be honest, it is kind of like a stalker. Instead of learning that the stalkee doesn't want to talk to them, if you pick up the phone the 60th call, they just learn that it takes 59 calls to get you on the phone. If you are consist as I assume you have been for the last three weeks and you knuckle under, he learns that it takes 28 days to get you to do what he wants.

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A.C.

answers from Dallas on

Maybe he is sleeping too much during the day? How many naps is he taking, and for how long? That could be an issue. But I agree with the responses about having a good bedtime routine, too. Good luck!

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S.R.

answers from Dallas on

Hi B.!

I wrote and almost EXACT response 2 days ago, but have only seen one response. :-( Anyway, I definitely feel your pain! I don't have any solutions, because we're going through the same thing with our daughter... she'll be 2 in October. I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone, and if you find anything that works really well, please please please let me know! I will do the same! (Maybe it's some weird weather or moon-pulling thing, because Emma started this 3 weeks ago, too! Don't they always say kids are effected by that stuff? Either way, we haven't slept through the night for almost a month! She finally went to sleep last night at 2:30, but then woke up again by 6:30. I don't get how she's functioning!)

S.

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L.W.

answers from Dallas on

Make sure there are no underlying issues like sleep walking or night-terrors (doesn't sound like the latter from your description).

If not understand that most children go through this at some point. Ours is 5 and every once in a while he reverts back.

Our rule is that the only reason he is allowed out of bed after we tuck him in is to go to the bathroom. If he wants water then he needs to get it prior to lights out and we remind him of this when we brush teeth. The fan goes on when we leave the room. Ours still asks for permission before getting off his bed which is fine with us!

If your son comes to your room pick him up and put him back in his own bed. Then leave. You will have to do this repeatedly at first, I'm sure. Outline the rules prior to bedtime and stick to them. If he asks for water remind him that the time to get a drink was before lights out and stick to it. It'll take some time and if he's anything like ours he'll pitch a fit but he'll figure it out.

Nip it in the bud now or he will think this behavior is working. If co-sleeping is not your intent then do not, under any circumstances, start putting him in your bed. You will have the same battle again trying to get him out and back to sleeping in his bed.

He's testing you. Stay strong, firm, and consistent and you will get through it.

Good luck!

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E.C.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter is not yet 2; however, we have gone through sleeping issues periodically as well. We have shifted her bedtime a few times based on her signals. Sometimes she needs to go to bed earlier because of a nap issue or a different kind of day. I just think as long as your consistant that is the best thing because they will know what to expect if they get out of bed during the night - that mommy and daddy will just put me back in bed. I know when my daughter periodically wakes during the night (she is still in the crib) I just go in there to check on her to ensure that there is nothing else going on. I don't say a word; just lay her back down and put the covers back on. That seems to work. While yours can get out of the bed, you will most likely have to do the same thing. Just walk him back to bed without saying a word and tuck him back in. Probably will take a few times at first; however, when he has those night wakings he will at least know what to expect. I am sure that it will start to decrease.

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D.B.

answers from Dallas on

My son did this, too. I think he thought he was missing out on something at night - like we were all up having fun and he was not. There is a Winnie the Pooh DVD where Tigger does the same thing - is up all night because he thinks he is missing out on fun. We let him watch that a few times. Anyhow, what worked for us was putting a baby gate at his doorway. If I heard him cry out for me (I still had a baby monitor in his room), I went to check on him, made sure his needs were met, and tucked him back in. This went on for a while. I did minimal contact at night and didn't say much more than "it's time to sleep". Then that got to be a habit worth waking up for in his mind, so I stopped going into the room and meeting him at the gate telling him to go back to bed. Sure there were some fits and crying that had to take place, and a few times I found him asleep on the floor by the gate, but he soon figured out that coming out of his room was not an option and sleeping in his bed was more comfortable than the floor.

He is 8 now and still gets up at night sometimes due to a bad dream or whatnot, and usually comes in to our bed in the morning to snuggle, but he is a great sleeper now.

Good luck! I know it is hard. I am going through the same thing with my 1 1/2 year old and am living off coffee!!

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

I have a two year old daughter and right before her 2nd b-day she started climbing out of bed. We got her a big girl bed and that was great for a couple nights then she started getting up 3-4 times a night!! She has always slept through the night since she was 3 months old! She also makes requests like cover her with her blanket like a baby or leave the bathroom light on stuff she has never asked for.Our pediatrician said that it is a phase and that she has become more aware of her surroundings so when she wakes up at night its harder for her to put herself back to sleep so hopefully she is right. So i definitley feel your pain we have made some progress we are leaving her door open until she falls asleep and this seems to help! GOOD LUCK

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A.R.

answers from Dallas on

He may be teething, have you checked to see if his molars are coming in. I don't know if you use Tylenol or Motrin, but might want to try it tonight and see how he does. There are also natural teething tablets that my sister used on her son. Hope things get back to "normal" and he starts sleeping well again.

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P.B.

answers from Tyler on

At this age, it could be anything. I suggest having his ears and sinuses checked. When a child lays down and is still, the pain/discomfort of something will wake him up.

This may be the problem and it may not, but it is worth looking into if it means a good night's sleep.

Hope it helps. :o)

Blessings,

P. <><

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K.D.

answers from Dallas on

I really believe a routine is key for a 2 year old--I think that a bed time routine with pictures is great and preparing him ahead of time that he needs to get ready for bed is important--once bed time comes, put him in bed and to ALL of his requests respond, "It's time for bed" no matter what he asks of you, if he gets out of bed, put him back and repeat "It's time for bed"--it may take 20 times at first and you and your husband must do the same and say the same for routine, and maybe soon your son will figure out that no matter what I say or do Mom and Dad put me back to bed and I don't get what I want so I might as well stay in bed and sleep ;) This is advice from a friend and mind you my 2 year old is still in her crib---so she can't get out!

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M.W.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter will be three next month and about a month ago she started doing the same thing. I didn't know what had changed and why all of a sudden she would need to be up multiple times in the night. Like you we tried the supernanny techniques and at one point I tried to talk to her and see if she could shed some light on why in the world she was awake!!! I finally talked to our pediatrician and she said that when a child goes through any kind of growth spurt mentally or physically it can effect their sleeping patterns. She told me to just continue to put her back to bed and if we absolutely needed to we could give her a little benadryl to get her back to sleep. Our problem was she was up at 3am and not going back to bed. I never had to give her the benadryl; because as quickly as it all started it all just stopped and she began sleeping through the night again. You can try the benadryl to reset his sleeping pattern; or wait it out...this is probably not a whole lot of help but at least you know that it can be normal for their age and it should stop as quickly as it started.

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U.A.

answers from Dallas on

gone thru that ever since both my kids were infants. it's still a phase that comes and goes. i often sleep on the extra twin bed that's in their room. if he's just potty trained, maybe he's trying to stay dry--which is awesome for a 2.5 year old!

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