How Can I Tell My Cousin Im Pregnant When She JUST Lost a Baby?

I'm sorry to hear that for your cousin, that has to be hard. But you have all that right in the world to be happy for yourself. As for telling her your pregnant, it should be done in private. That way if she needs time to cry, she'll have it. Also, if you and her are close, maybe asking to be godmother to your new baby might help her in some small way. Good luck.

i would tell her gently, but then not rub it in. my sister in law had a hard time getting pregnant, and then i got pregnant with my oldest son. we told her and she cried for a while about it, but was really happy for us. she's been a great aunt to cameron. i didnt talk about my pregnancy a lot because i didnt want to make her feel worse than she did. hope that helps.

I've been in your shoes before with a friend who had miscarried just before I got pregnant. It's very tough. Honesty is best. Meet her in person and just tell her straight out that you are pregnant and you wanted her to hear it from you. Tell her that you know it's probably hard for her to hear that and that you won't discuss the baby around her unless she brings it up. If you don't know what to say or how to act -- tell her "I don't know what to say to you". Invite her personally to pregnancy stuff like the shower, but reassure her that you totally understand if she doesn't feel like attending. She'll appreciate the honesty and knowing that you are being considerate of her feelings.

I've been on both sides. I suffered from infertility for 5 years while all my friends had baby's. Some told me and I was happy for them. Other's couldn't tell me and they really really hurt my feelings. I felt like a total freak and unworthy to be friends with mothers.

The day I was going to announce my miracle pregnancy to my closest friends I found out that one of them had misscarried at 14 weeks. I brought her to a private room and told her about my pregnancy. I tappered down the enthusiasm and talked openly about our feelings. She was happy for me and luckily she got pregnant again a few months later.

my son was born in october and i went through someting like you are going through. my cousin and i got pregnant a couple months apart. she was due in july and i was due in october. the day she found out what she was having she also found out that something was wrong with him, but she already new that i was pregnant. she went into labor and he was born in april, he didn't live long after he was born. after that i felt awful that that had happened to them but at the same time i was happy that we were having our first baby. i didn't know how to act around her. i didn't want her to fell like i was rubbing it in her face that i was still pregnant. i knew she would have a hard time at my baby shower and when my son was born but i still wanted her to be apart of everything. so when i talked to her about everything i told her that i would leave it up to her. if she wanted to come to the baby shower i wanted her there but if she couldn't i would understand and wouldn't be mad. so you need to take her feelings into consideration when you talk to her and tell her that you know it will probably be hard for her but you hope she wil be happy for you. tell her that you hate what has happened to her but when the time is wright god will give them the baby that they want. make sure that she understands that if she ever needs to talk about anything that you will be there.

I had a miscarriage in 2004 and where I work there is always someone PG. I didnt want to be sheltered from their happy news. It made me feel odd and "out of the loop" so to speak. Tell your cousin in the most respectful way possible. Yes, she will be sad and maybe even jealous. Those feelings will pass. At least they did for me. I hope it works out for you.

I disagree with some of the responses. If I were you, I wouldn't tell her right away. Here's what I mean, and what I think you should consider. I had a friend who was so excited about her first pregnancy. She loved all of the attention she was getting and stuff because she was it was her first and none of our other friends were pregnant at the time. Well, low and behold, I got pregnant about 5 weeks after her. I chose to let her relish in her own excitement for awhile before I told her. I just felt that if I waited even just an extra month to tell her, that it may help her to keep from feeling a little disappointed about "sharing some of the attention". I know it sounds silly, but we all know how some girls are, and I was afraid she would be one of those girls who would want all the attention, and therefore end up being disappointed by my own pregnancy. Anyway, when I told her, she thought it was really sweet that I took her into consideration that way, and ended up being really excited for me. So, why not wait just a few more weeks? And try not to make a big deal out of the whole "telling her" part. I would tell her, the same way I would tell everyone else. If you try and show her sympathy, it may be harder on her than if you didn't, because you'd be making her feel like she should be sad, does that make sense? I would tell her in a group of family members, or over a lunch or something, but I definitely would not be like "I have to tell you something, but I don't want you to be upset and I don't want to hurt you" because you're jumping to conclusions about her feelings, possibly putting feelings into her heart that she wouldn't even have. Sure, she's going to be sad, but not because you're having a baby. It will be because it is a reminder of the baby she just lost. The less of a deal you make out of bringing her miscarriage into the news, the better it will be for her.

I think Teresa had a great idea about asking your cousin to be your babies godmother.

C.,
One way you can do this is you and her spend all day together. Go to dinner, a movie, or doing things that she likes. After that, just sit her down and tell her that there is something that you need to tell her. Tell her that you are pregnant and let her be happy, and then sad. But while she is sad you just let her know that you are there for her and it will happen to her someday. That she will be as lucky as all the other people that had children. Also, let her know that you are sorry for her loss (even though you have told her before). And if nothing else ask he to be in the delivery room with you and your husband when you deliver the baby. That helped with my cousin when the same thing happened to her and then I got pregnant. Try that, hopefully it will work. Let me know how it goes.

S. M

I was 5 months pregnant when my sister miscarried twins. Everyone is different, but she didn't handle it well at all. Woukldn't come around me, didn't come to my baby shower until it was over and just to drop off a gift and leave.

I wish it could of have been different, and she loves my little boy to pieces (and has one of her own now too, who is two years younger than mine) but it was really hard for her. If you guys are close just try to understand that she will be upset, but at the situation and not you. If she does distance herself, don't feel bad. She may need some time.

You do have to tell her though, it's the right thing to do. Hearing it second hand may only hurt her feelings. I wish you both the best of luck with your situations!