Conceiving After Miscarriage

Updated on October 31, 2008
J.E. asks from Northbridge, MA
33 answers

Im looking for advice from anyone else that has had a miscarriage. I recently had a miscarriage at 6 weeks and me and my husband were devistated. We do have two healthy beautiful children and consider ourselves very lucky. We are anxious to start trying again as we want our kids to be close in age. However I have been receiving different advise on when I should start trying to conceive again. Some say right away is okay others say 1-3 cycles should pass first before trying. My doctor advised waiting at least one cycle. I wanted to know if anyone was in a simliar situation and conceived soon after a miscarriage. Any advise would be appreciated!

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So What Happened?

Thank you everyone for your feedback! It helps to know I am not the only who is or has gone through this! I too, though sometimes wonder why, believe things happen for a reason. I think after talking with my husband we will go for it and see what happens. What is meant to be will be!! Hopefully the next time I will be able to carry the pregnancy to term. Thank you for your support and well wishes! I also wish you all the best!

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S.W.

answers from Burlington on

I am so so sorry - I also miscarried a year ago and we were heartbroken.

My doc also said the same. I know it seems like an eternity but really it's just a few weeks. I waited one cycle before trying, and got pregnant on the third cycle. I miscarried July 3rd, found out I was pregnant on Sept. 19th - really only 2 1/2 months, although it seemed much longer at the time!

My baby is 5 months old.

good luck!

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D.C.

answers from Boston on

My ob told me to wait 3 cycles too. I miscarried at 12 weeks in October and was pregnant again in December. My son was born happy and healthy nine months later. I definately would wait for at least a cycle or two though, it takes that long for the lining of the uterus to replenish. Also it gives you the time you need to get over the loss of the other pregnancy. Good luck and best wishes.

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A.O.

answers from Boston on

I am so sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage last December but I had to have a DNC. I waited until I had 4 normal cycles, I wanted to be sure everything was back to normal and we would not have a repeat miscarriage. I am currently 5 months pregnant and everything has been normal so far. We got pregnant immediately, literally the 1st or 2nd try! Good luck and I hope everything goes as easily for you as it did for us!

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J.Z.

answers from Boston on

J., so sorry for your loss. A few years ago, I miscarried at 6 weeks as well, in August. I was told to wait at least one cycle and then I could try when I was ready. I wasn't ready immediately, but we tried again in November, and conceived right away. That pregnancy went well, and now I have a happy, healthy 2 year old girl! Good luck.

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C.F.

answers from Boston on

J.,
I know exactly what you are going through. I just had a miscarrage on Oct 15th. I was 12 weeks along although they told me it happened at 8 weeks. For whatever reason, my body held on to it. I went in for a D & C and just had my 2 week follow up this past tuesday. My doctor advised to wait one cycle. She said physcially, the body can do it but some drs advise waiting longer for the emotional aspect of healing. I myself dont even want to wait the one cycle so I am going to go about business and if it happens, it happens. If it doesnt by the time i get my first period, I will start the ovulation sticks after the first cycle. I know it is hard and so disappointing, but i have come to terms that if it was meant to be, it would have been. Good luck.
C.

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R.T.

answers from Raleigh on

I'm sorry this happened to you :( A good friend of mine recently miscarried at 7 weeks. She wasn't trying to conceive afterward, but was pregnant immediately afterward (one cycle later). She was worried, because like you, she'd heard she should wait.

However, our good friend, an obstetrician, advised her that there was nothing at all to worry about. One big reason to wait is to be able to approximate the day of conception, and thus the due date, which you can most easily do if you know when you last period was. There is no biological reason to wait.

My friend is now 12 weeks pregnant.

Good luck!

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A.K.

answers from Boston on

Hi J.,
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I miscarried at 9 weeks and the doctor told me to wait for my body to have 2 complete cycles. After the D+C it took my body about a month to get back on a regular cycle. We tried the first month possible and I used ovulation sticks to increase our chances and I got pregnant on the first try and now have an almost 2 year old son. I hope this is helpful to you to know that conceiving again is possible quickly after a miscarriage. Good Luck

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W.D.

answers from Boston on

I waited one cycle and have a beautiful daughter to show for it

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M.B.

answers from New London on

Hi J.,
I have had two miscarriages previously. It was very devastating when it happened to our family. I am sorry for your loss. My miscarriages did have an effect on how close in age my kids are. My youngest is five years apart from his brother. My first two are almost 3 years apart. It is hard when you are trying to figure out how many years will separate them. I think you should wait how long you and your husband want to wait. Follow your doctors advice for your own recovery, then take it from there. It will work out for you and for your family, no matter what you decide. Good Luck to you

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J.H.

answers from New London on

Hi J.,

I am so sorry for you loss. I too had a miscarriage around the same time. I understand your feelings. My doctor had recommended waiting atleast one cycle. We did and then got pregnant that next month! We then had our second beautiful son! I will let you know, even though we conceived the next month,I feel that I was still grieving and very scared during that pregnancy (especially at the beginning). I think you will know when it is right for you. Best wishes!

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K.P.

answers from Springfield on

I am sorry for your loss. It is very hard and sad to deal with. Im not a doctor, however I think 1 month is good to wait. You still are VERY fertile at this time, and your body needs to adjust. I wouldnt wait the three months sometimes advised. Unless you had a DNC, which then you should wait. Good Luck

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K.B.

answers from Providence on

I conceived right away after waiting one cycle. Everything was fine.

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

I had one last month too and I was waiting for my period to show up so we can try next month. Good luck!

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N.E.

answers from Bangor on

Dear J., I am so sorry to hear of your recent miscarriage, it can be such a shock and of course a huge disappointment. You didn't mention your age so I am assuming you are under 40. My husband and I had 4 miscarriages in 3 years. However I was 41-43, and my doctor, after running tests on both of us, said we were both fertile but "my eggs were old." My advice to you is if you feel good and are healing emotionally and physically don't wait. I got pregnant the 2nd time in my first cycle. I am sure you and your husband will conceive your 3rd child soon. Our happy news is that at 49 we are adopting a beautiful baby girl who has been with us since she was 6 weeks old and turns 2 on Monday. We too are blessed. Happiness to you and your family, N.

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B.B.

answers from Boston on

I'm so sorry, it's difficult to understand why this happens. I also miscarried around the samem time when trying for our 2nd child. We had been trying for months to conceive and it was very difficult. I didn't wait because I felt my body didn't need it. We got pregnant the next month and our baby girl will be 1 next month. She's wonderful, happy, and healthy! Take everything into consideration - your emotional and physical well-being and make a decision with your husband and doctor. Best of luck to you and your family!
B.

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L.A.

answers from Boston on

I'm so sorry for your loss.
I had a miscarriage last year and have since given birth to a healthy baby boy.
One of the tough things about miscarriage is the lack of answers, the unknown.

I lost the baby at 12 weeks and had a D and C.
I followed my wonderful midwife's advice and waited 4 cycles to try again and we got pregnant right away.

If you have a good relationship with your doctor, and you trust him/her, then I think you should follow their advice because they have seen you through this.

I hope you find peace.
Good luck,
L.

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H.Z.

answers from Boston on

First off I am sorry about your miscarriage! I also had one after my second child, I found out at our 11 week check up. We wanted the kids close in age too. Our first two are 14 months apart. The timing was actually a blessing (if you can call it that!) I ended up getting pregnant after the first cycle (a bit impatient) and besides my own anxieties, everything went beautifully. I would do it when you feel ready. Don't listen to the naysayers!!! Go with your heart, I did and have three beautiful boys!!

Good luck,

H. Z. (SAHM 5, almost 4 and 15 month old boys)

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L.S.

answers from Hartford on

I hate to be a downer here... but i concieved right after having a miscarriage (they told me to wait 3 cycles and i only waited one) and i miscarried again. It was devistating. I'm so sorry for your loss.

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M.B.

answers from Boston on

First I am so sorry you had to go through this and sorry for your loss.

In my opinion...wait at least one cycle. What I have seen happen after a miscarriage is the body still thinks it is pregnant even though you are starting the cycle again and you can't get pregnant. At least wait till your body heals. You should listen to your doctor.

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D.H.

answers from Lewiston on

The advice is for emotional reasons, so you and your husband aren't "replacing" your loss. At least that is what i was told after our miscarriage. I looked at the loss very differently, however. I saw that my body wasn't ready to carry my baby's soul and I would have to wait a little longer to meet her! And that's how I still feel today. Now I have a beautiful daughter and one on the way. I just had to wait a while longer to meet her!! I know it is hard, but your baby will be in your arms soon!! Start when you are ready!

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N.S.

answers from Hartford on

I am sorry for your loss! If you are trying to get pregnant right away here is my advice for you. This happened to me...I miscarried at 6 weeks but did not know until 13 weeks because I still had all the signs of a healthy pregnancy. I had the D & C after being advised from my cousin who had several miscarriages to do that because it can quicken the process in terms of getting back to your cycle. I waited one cycle and then started trying a week or so after my period. I did not get pregnant the first month but I did get pregnant the second month. So it worked out well for us. If you do not concieve right away take the time to do things that youwon't be able to do while pregnant or with a newborn...do a nice weekend getaway with the family...enjoy the foods/drinks that you will have to limit during pregnancy. Thats my advice. My thoughts are with your family and I know this is a difficult thing to go through. Even if you are pregnant again make sure to take time for yourself on your due date of this lost baby. I planned to work and was unexpectedly hit by emotion on that day...eventhough I was pregnant again I had to spend some time alone with my thoughts and with my husband to process that day. Good Luck!

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V.M.

answers from Boston on

Hi J.,

So sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I had one at 10 weeks last year and know exactly how you feel. I also know about the somewhat conflicting advice you receive from doctors on the length of time to wait before trying again, but it seems to me this was mainly due to the fact that some doctors feel that emotionally you need more time than others. Physically I understood that waiting one cycle was fine. The only draw back to any less than 3 cycles is that your cycle hasn't become "regular" yet and so it would be harder to pinpoint your dates.

In my case we sort of stopped being overly careful after my second period - I guess I figured it would take a while anyway, but low and behold I conceived and had a gorgeous baby girl 7 weeks ago. So all in all I was pregnant 5 moths after the miscarriage happened. What I would say is once you get your period again keep track of how many days you have between each - this will help you and the docs pinpoint your dates, whether you were "regular" or not.

I know it can be hard to get through, but try not to put too much pressure on yourself and allow yourself all the time you need to grieve the loss. Wishing you all the best - I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!

Take Care,
V.

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T.K.

answers from Boston on

This did happen to me. I did wait the 3 months like my doctor said but I did have a friend who didn't and the baby is just fine. Do whats in your heart.

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H.S.

answers from Boston on

My doctor told me to wait one cycle. I was anxious to start trying again so I asked why and she said the only reason to wait is to make it easier to date the pregnancy. She then said if I didn't want to wait then to go ahead and start trying. I had read somewhere that it was easier to get pregnant for the three cycles after a miscarriage so I didn't want to waste those away. Good luck trying and I am so sorry about your loss. I know how hard it is!

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L.M.

answers from Boston on

J.,

I'm so sorry for your loss. I was devistated when my husband and I loss our first pregnancy. I lost it between 7 and 8 weeks. I bled out no D&C. At the time I was 37 years old and the nurse in my doctor's office said to wait 3 cycles but when I went in to see my doctor she said "I'm not going to tell you to wait. Try this month." -because of my age and we want 2 children. So we started to try right away. It took us another 5 months to concieve. We used an ovulation tester which helped us. I think as long as you are healthy and there aren't any problems you can start to try right away.

Good luck,
L. M

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S.S.

answers from Boston on

I had a miscarriage that was very early ( only 4 weeks) but a tremendous amount of blood loss. Had to have a D&C so the dr. said wait for 2 months. I became pregnant at the very first try after that. I think you need to let your body recover, take vitamins, iron ( if necessary), folic acid to replace all that was lost. It may be difficult with two other kids but...try to get some rest too!

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✿.K.

answers from Boston on

It really depends on how you feel. If you had a D&C done than you need to atleast wait 6-8 weeks to heal before trying if you didn't have one I've known people that conceived after they had they had their first period that followed. Do what feels right for you. Keep taking your vitamins and best of luck. I know several peopel that had miscarriages and were pregnant soon after and had no problems. Best of luck.

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C.H.

answers from Boston on

I'm sorry about your loss!!

I miscarried at 9 weeks and I too waited for one cycle. My son is now 4 years old. I agree that it's easier to follow your cycle after your first period comes back. For us..it was only one month. Good Luck!

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K.S.

answers from Portland on

So Sorry to hear of your loss. With my second pregnancy I had a miscarriage at about 8 weeks and at my two week checkup after the miscarriage my OB said that I was ovulating. She did advise waiting at least one cycle but we didn't wait and 4 weeks after my miscarriage I took a positive pregnancy test - my son is now a healthy happy beautiful 4 1/2 year old. I think that no matter how long we waited I would have been nervous during the pregnancy. But as awful as it was to have had the miscarriage I look at our middle child and know that if I had not miscarried he would not be here and I have to believe that it was meant to be this way. Best wishes to you and yours!

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A.G.

answers from Boston on

J.- I am so sorry to hear about your loss, I know how devastating it is. I miscarried over 2 years ago at 11 weeks. My doctor told me to wait 1 or 2 cycles but wasn't too adamant about it and said it really depends on how ready I feel emotionally. I had trouble deciding when it would be "right" to start. On the one hand, I knew I needed time to grieve my loss, but on the other hand, part of me felt like the only way to get over the loss would be to get pregnant again. I got my period exactly 4 weeks after my D&C; and after that my husband and I didn't intentionally try to get pregnant but didn't try to prevent it either. Well, I got pregnant that very first cycle, and now have a beautiful 20 month old girl. That pregnancy was difficult and I was terrified of miscarrying again, but it was all worth it in the end. Best of luck to you.

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E.P.

answers from Boston on

Hi J.,

First let me say I'm really sorry for your loss. I and my husband were also devastated after our loss too. We had a little funeral for him to help us with closure. I miscarried when I was 11 weeks. This happened a year and a half ago.

The reason they tell you 1-3 months is because no one is clear. However I got the best reason from my midwife why I needed to wait 3 months even though we too were anxious to try again. Your body just lost all the lining and blood needed to properly take care of your infant. It needs that time to have all the blood and lining back 'up to speed' to be able to successfully handle another baby.

believe me it is really worth it. I know you're probably 'chomping at the bit' to try again but just wait. We did and now we have a beautiful 14 month old boy along with with his beautiful 5 year old sister.

It's worth the wait.

E. P.

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L.L.

answers from Buffalo on

J.- sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I know how hard that can be. I miscarried at 9 wks. a couple of years ago and waited one cycle until we tried again- I liked waiting for at least one cycle because it helped me to know that my body was back on track and to be able to read the signals, etc.

If you wait then you know that if you don't get your period the following month that you could be pregnant, otherwise things will be pretty ambiguous...Plus, I think it's probably good for your body to have a chance to recover- the one cycle helped me to feel like my body was "back on track" so to speak and made me feel more comfortable about starting again.

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S.O.

answers from Providence on

my doctor told me the only reason to wait a cycle was to properly date the pregnancy. I didn't wait b/c I was already charting my cycles and daily temps, so I knew exactly when I was pregnant. Also most doctors don't care what you say about dating anyway, and will rely on your ultrasound if you use them. So when pressed my doctor said we didn't have to wait, and we didn't. I never got another period.
Good luck and happy baby making...

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