How Big Was Your Family Size

I am a mom to 7 children. I love it and would not change a thing. I was an only child with parents who gave me away. My dream was to have a big family and be a stay at home mom. I was blessed to get my wish. Though it came at a cost. My one son had brain cancer at age 13, my one and only daughter was not supposed to make it to age two and has a permanent disability. My baby of the family was supposed to have downs syndrome, he does not have that but was born 2 months early and has many health problems.Though life is not smooth I embrace the challenges I was given and how lucky I am to have my big family. I have sons ages 3,11,15,24,26,29 and my little princess is 8 years old. I am one lucky mom, and happy that my children will have ecah other when they grow up.I just became a grand mother to what else but a grandson,lol I guess boys run in this family.

I come from a family of five girls... There is only one younger than me and the oldest is 11 years older than I am. My oldest sister has 4 children and her youngest is already 13. My kids are 4,3, and 5 months old... I am hoping that some of my other sisters have kids soon so My boys have some cousins their own age. My family is pretty mush the only family they have because my ex husband (the father of the older two) is an only child and my youngest one doesn't really know his father's family and probably won't at all.

both my husband and I came from large families and we both loved it. Granted there were times when money was tight but we didn't always notice because there was so much going on.

Hi C.,

My family is HUGE! My mom is one of SEVEN and her dad is one of ELEVEN!!! So I have cousins out the wahoo. My husbands mom is one of four...so the only way his family is expanding is by marrying people with kids (sounds mean but mom in law married a man with 2 kids bringing them to 5 grand total 6 if you add me. and his uncle iss supposedly marrying a woman with 3 horrid children and they are having one in october.)
We have one child so far ( the first baby in his family since his baby brother who is 17 and the 5th in my family.) we realized that our child/ren would be the only ones for quite sometime but Max kicked everyone else without kids into gear so who knows.
How many kids do you want? if its all that youve got thats cool too. My sister and I are great friends now because we only had eachother for so long (we moved A LOT like 11 different houses untill we graduated and we are non-military) so family size doesnt matter much just enjoy that at every family event someone will be adoring your kids and giving you a break.

K.

I came from a family of 7 children. i have 3 brothers,and 3 sister. Our ages are 38, 35, 28,27,26,24,20. I loved having alot of brothers and sister. i must say i am closer with my 28, 27, 24, 20 year old siblings then the older ones. my family seemed to have survived off one pay check, my mom didnt work and we were all put thourgh catholic grammer school. We didnt have alot, but the love and closeness we all have payed off. As adults, most of us live in the same building still, and we enjoy spending holidays together. So my 38 yr old sister is married and has 3 children. my 35 yr old brother is married and has 1 son, my 28 yr old brother has 1 daughter, i am 26 and have 2 children. so the holidays are packed with fun, laughter and love. i say you should def have 1 or 2 more and thats it. I will be hopefully having one more next year. Good luck to you.

C.,
My parents came from huge families (11 in dad's, 6 in mom's), I have 36 first cousins and so many other relatives I don't know all of them. They didn't like all their family members, didn't speak to some and we lost touch with most by the time I was a teenager. I only had 1 brother. He died at 35 with no kids. My dad is dead and I don't speak to my mom (if you knew her you'd understand). Long story, short point: My best friend and closest "sister" I've known for 28 years. You can pick and choose who gets put in your path to be your intended family and they will stand by you blood or no blood. Can't always get along with or even like the ones we're born with. I'd rather have the family life has provided.

I don't think you should worry about them having more family to love them. I came from a 4 person family. It was just my sister and I & our parents. We always felt loved and didn't have lots a famliy kids. Plus if you know you can pay for college and have plenty of time for them now why disturb that. They will value you having time and loving them more than giving them more family to play with. Education is so important and so many people can't afford that right now you are blessed.

hi! Growing up in my family was a blast! There were 7 of us, 5 girls and two boys, ages 23-4. I'm not saying that you should go and have 7 kids but it is so much fun to fun built-in life long friends. Having more kids, if you can afford it and you're willing to have more kids is an awesome idea. You'll might have to have them get a job in high school to help for college but everyones kids do and it's a good way to be immersed into the real world. My family for a time only had my family and one or two more kids and it was great to have my own siblings to play with at family things. I'm so glad my parents had so many kids. Well good luck with your decision!!!

I have two sisters and four half brothers (my fathers sons.)

My sisters and I have the same mother and father. I like having all the siblings as an adult, however, the middle child syndrome is real. Even as adult my middle sister has issues that impact the entire family steming from being the middle child. Do yourself a favor if you have three don't stop go for one more. Its either two or four. Now that is a handful but the more the merrier.

All the best to your family.

When I was growing up it was me and my 2 sisters. We had a lot of cousins as my mother is the oldest child of 13. My advice to you is, to stay where you are. You are set finacially and emotionally. Like I said I had a lot of cousins, but I never saw them as we lived states away from each other. Now that me and my sisters are grown, we are best friends and there has never been a conflict of who mom loves more. I understand your want to have your kids with other children, but they are both in daycare and they are exposed to kids all day. Enjoy the time you have with them!

I myself am from a small family. My husband has a big family. Unfortunately one or two of them is always arguing. So any family funtions, there is always someone missing. I still believe having a big family is great though. I have known of others and admire that. Money is a neccesity but with lots of love, people always figure things out and manage. Good Luck

My personal opinion is: quality over quantity. If you can give them more time and energy and a more secure future, then you are giving them everything in the world. Plus, they will always have each other!

two is more than enough, close up shop!

C.,

My parents had 3 biological children, and adopted one. I am the oldest. I love my siblings with a fierce devotion that my husband thinks borders on the absurd. I also have 30 cousins, many of whom I am still close to, and we all grew up in the same town, went to the same schools together, all that stuff. I literally tripped over family everywhere I went, and absolutely loved it all growing up. Of course, I could have done without babysitting for them, having other little hands touch and break my stuff, all the things little kids fight over.

On the other hand, I have decided to only have two. While I do have siblings, neither of my two brothers have any children, and my sister lives 4 hours away, so it's not like we see her and her boys all the time. My sons will not grow up in the same environment I did, and I'm okay with that, even though I know how much I enjoyed it. I want to take them everywhere, and show them the world, and give them all that I possibly can in terms of time, attention, and resources. The more children I have, the further those things get divided up. Not everyone looks at family size that way, but it's my perspective on it.

Do you and your husband have lots of friends, and a rich and full life outside of your family bonds? If you were to find yourself without those people, would you still have a place in your community where you felt appreciated and loved? Many people in this world do not have large families, but build their own through their social networks. You can look at that as the family you choose, not necessarily the one you get stuck with. Please keep in mind that being related doesn't mean you have to like each other. My Mom is one of 6, and none of them talk to all the others. They pick and choose who to stay close to, and who to avoid. It's a sad situation, and I wonder if there were only 2 or 3 of them if they would be closer, because that's all they had.

This is a hard decision to make. There are no guarantees either way, and both choices have their ups and downs. It really comes down to what you and your husband view as a "complete" family.

Best of luck.

Jess

I am the oldest of four. With a family of my own right now, I can see the advantages and disadvantages of a big family. I have three of my own and although many say that is enough I think I would like one more. People will try to tell you that it's too expensive and how will you manage your time, but I think it is a very personal decision. You need to look at what is most important to you and how having more children will effect that. For us, the hardest part of having 3 kids was figuring out childcare. (But then again, it was hard with one.) You have to keep in mind how much it will cost for daycare (for us it was too much to put 3 in daycare, so my husband stays home, but that meant I needed to get a part time job on top of my full time job - I make more money than him in my field of work - and I get less time with the kids) I actually found the jump from 1 to 2 to be the hardest in how to split my time (once I figured it out, it wasn't so bad!). Hands though, that's a different story (I often wish for more hands, but as humans, we are able to adapt and as mothers, I think we are even more so - you find a way to do what you've got to). Loving them is easy, you never run out of love and sometimes I think I love them more now that they are three. (they can be so cute together!) So I think with some thoughtful planning and real consideration, you will do what is right for you and your family. Good luck!

i am the oldest of 11 i have 5 brothers and 5 sisters and we adopted my cousin when my aunt died. it was definately organized chaos but with my four small children life is a breeze once you organize a routine. not to mention they are very close to each other. I'd even go as far to say that i want more kids they truly are a blessing but you need to be built for it. you need to want it cause at times you just need to take a deep breath.

You know it is a trend that families get smaller as the cost of living, and the ability to be a SAHM change in the US.
My husband has a huge family, and I see that every holiday and birthday celebration are a jam packed blast.
My family is small, and time with them is usually a quiet evening.
It's hard to say, you have to do what feels right for you.
My husband and I have one baby, but he has 3 sons from previous.
It's nice that my baby has "instant" brothers. Since I don't feel the need to have more kids. I am satisfied with one. (for now at least) - but that is because I was part of a small family too.
I wouldn;t go re-populating the gene pool just to have kin for your children. Remember that they will grow close relationships with friends, and be married with kids of their own one day. In-laws are the best. I have a huge loving family now, and they are all my husbands blood relatives that treat me and our baby like we have been a part of their family forever!

My parents had 8 children. Im 46 now and I have one son who is 14. Im very happy with one. One brother has 3, another had 1 and another had 2. One sister has 2 kids and another has one. My other sis has none. We are all very happy with what we have.I wouldnt have more kids just to give them brothers and sisters unless you really want more. They have time to grow and make a lot of friends. they will have their own families one day. When they are college age, it will be much more expensive then now. Hope you have a lot of money.Good luck with your choice.

Hi C.,

I am the oldest of 4 children. I have 2 brothers and a sister and even though we are close in age, growing up we weren't that close. Now we are all inseperable. That may be because we all live together as adults. I have 1 child, and one of my brothers has 4 children of his own and 2 future step children. There are 7 children total ranging in age from 9 to 2(and there are 2 two year olds(not biologically related)). So now my son is growing up with his cousins like they were siblings and he enjoys it most of the time. Even though, the house is crowded, I wouldn't have it any other way. So my advice to you is, if you can afford more children, and you want to have more chilren, definately have more children.

K.

We are in the opposite situation. When I was growing up, I was one of three. I had plenty of cousins but the problem was that they were all about 20-30 years OLDER than I. Talk about lonely.
Now, I have three kids, my oldest sister has 4 and my middle sister is now going on 6 kids. My sister is growing quite nicely and I love it!! My kids have plenty of cousins to play with at family gatherings, and like me, some have a big age difference, but we are all close!! I even recently found a distant cousin who actually lives 5 blocks from me; our sons were on the same baseball team for 2 years and in cub scouts together before we knew we were related.
I love having a large family. To me family is the most important thing. I guess it is a personal preference.

As far as having more kids of my own, I would love to. My son was solo for 5 years and then he and my middle daughter (now 4) were the only ones until my baby came along (now 8 months). I do agree, money is now tight, especially with how my son eats and I am a SAHM, but we manage. For college savings, we have UPROMISE. It has helped save some...let's pray for college scholarships....
Good luck!!!!!!!!

I have a family with three beautiful children in it. My daughter is 5 1/2, my oldest son is 3yrs an 4 months, and I had another baby boy 8 weeks ago. I think that no matter what money will be tight...I felt like I needed another baby. I love kids. My husband wants me to get "fixed" so we don't have anymore but im not ready to do that yet. I am comfortable with three kids at home. My daughter is in kindergarten, my son will be in sept. So during the day it will be me, my little guy and our puppy. My husband works 1st shift and I am going back to work 2nd shift soon. I'm not comfortable putting my baby in daycare at sucha young age. I feel right now is when he needs me the most. If some women feel comfotable putting there babys in daycare more power to them. the point is , if you feel you should have another then do it. Just don't do it for all the wrong reasons. Having a baby isn't something you wan to regret doing later.

i hope i helped.

Wow! I believe it is nice to have a big family. I do have four kids but did not plan it that way. The second time it was twins. Then had three girls so of course we wanted a boy. The most important thing is you guys are happy. there is good and bad to having a large family. My husbands family is very large and it is so hard to have a family party without inviting over 100 people. I think it is really just figuring out if you want to have another child. Not worring so much about what would happen . Just enjoy

C.
Mom helping moms work from home
http://colleend.stayinhomeandlovinit.com

C.,
I came from a family of 3. I now have 8 children of my own. Closeness in age doesn't mean closeness in children. Our oldest daughter (16) is soooo close to our youngest son (5). Our 9 year old daughter is very close to our 8 yr old daughter, 11 yr. old son and our 7 month old daughter. Our 15 yr. old son is closest to our 16 yr old daughter. Our 14 yr. old son is very picky and teases a lot so he sort of stands on his own. I chose to have a larger family because in todays time life is crazy. I wanted my kids to have somebody to count on when the rest of the world lets them down. But that is not guaranteed with siblings. I was so close to my brother growing up - we were 18 months apart. But as adults we chose two very different lifestyles (he drinks and parties and I am raising my family) so we are not close at all. My sister and I are 4 yrs apart and were not close at all growing up are now pretty close. OUr kids play together and FIGHT together.

I would pray about it and see where to go from there. We do not have a lot of money but enough for our needs and a few wants. Our kids have wonderful birthdays and exciting Christmases. Money is not the issue - it's thinking each night before I go to sleep "Does Jayla really know that I love her" or "Did I spend enough time with Jescha today" Am I helping them have lasting and bonding memories with their family? When they grow up I hope they do not say "Wow mom kept the bathroom really clean" Instead I hope they remember that I played with them, read to them, cooked with them, worked withthem, talked with them and listened to them (even when it's really late and I would like to go to sleep - listening is SOOO important.)

well i have 4 kids myself. i have 3 siblings my mom had 3 siblings my dad had 2. My gramma had 9 siblings but none of my family is close to me they all care bout themselves

Hi C.,

When I was growing up there were four children and two parents in my family. I hated that we were always poor and that I had crappy parents, but I loved having brothers and a sister around to care about me (especially when it felt like my parents didn't care). Now I am married with four children of my own. While it is true that money is very tight, I wouldn't mind having ten children: We love all our children dearly and make it well-known. Except for our two oldest daughters who bicker often (as most sisters their ages do), all the kids get along really well with one another and they enjoy having siblings. If you are thinking of having more kids, I say go for it when you hit 70% surety. I see that you have them both enrolled in full-time daycare and have since infancy, so it could get pricey to enroll a third child in daycare. If you feel you can afford it (and, like I said, you are at or above the 70% mark) I say go for it. Your other children are young enough that you won't be raising a second family, and more children means more love to go around--and more potential grandkids!

Hope this helped at least a little!

--M.

I come from a family of 5. Our family was a his/her/theirs type. We now range in age from 42 to 23. The only draw back of this, is that I never really got to know my youngest brother. Between the 3 of us who have children, our parents are blessed with 10 grandchildren.

I'm now a mom of 5 as well, with almost the same situation. My son is 21 and my youngest is 7 months. I love having a big brood, it surprises people to have so many. Until 4 years ago, I just had the first 3, my son, the 21 yr old and my fraternal twins who are now 16. I was very happy with having just the 3 of them. The youngest two (ages 3 yrs and 7 months) were complete surprise blessings. I didn't plan to have a big family, but it just sorta happened.

I don't think I would have more children just to have more or so that your children would have more siblings. If you happen to be blessed with more, all the better! There is some truth to the more, the merrier.

Hello C.
my name is W. all i can say is that my parents were only children the same with there parents then my mom and dad have five of us and i love that i have all this family i can turn too. I dont suggest you put to many years beteen them if you have more or they wont get along till they are much older . I wouldnt trade my sibling for the world. I have five children also and they are extreamly close in age nice little surprises i call them lol.

Hmm, don't quite know how to answer this one. I was raised as an only child, although I have 2 half sistes that are 18 and 24 years older than I am. I was also brought into a family that was much older than I. I was a completely different generation, as both my parents were in their 50's when I was born. So all of my cousins were old enough to be my parents. I did not see most of them as I was growing up.

My husband is in a similar boat, although he has 2 siblings whom he is in contact with. Both have children who have grown up and gone their ways, although they are close to home. He also did not know any of his cousins or aunts or uncles due to age, death or location.

We have 3 boys, one from my previous marraige and 2 together. They do see their grandparents on a weekly basis, and unfortunately have even gone through the death of their grandfather this past November. They see their cousins as much as we can get them all together.

Im not sure how things will be for my children as they become adults. I do know that it will be much different than myself or my husbands upbringing. We can only hope that it gets better with age.

M.

Interesting story... I came from a small family where it was my sister and I and we're 10 years apart. No one in between it's pretty hard. I'm more of a parent and less of a sister (esp since she's 16 going on 21) Because of the gap I wanted 2 or 3 kids close in age. I have 2 kids and one on the way... Now my boyfriend has 5 kids ranging from 15-8 (from a prev marriage) SO as you can believe we have 8 in whole. And I NEVER EVER EVER thought I would be one to be ok with that big of a family. But, his kids are great together and they were raised to know that they need to help out the younger ones and they are in NO WAY deprived of anything... they have every movie, game you could imagine and are not short on love at all! He always said in the beginning when the kids were younger it was harder ($$$) but now that they are growing up it's different. As for the little kids (mine) they feel lucky to have older sibling.
LONG story short... No one can tell you how many to have you need to just look at what you guys are "able" to have and go from there. Call me crazy but I NEVER thought I would be 27 with 8 kids in my family 3 of my own! Someone had a different plan for me... even birth control isn't 100%. Maybe that helped you maybe you are laughing at my crazy world but either way if you can give children a good home do it.