Piggy Back on a Piggy Back Much Older/younger Siblings Are You Close & 1/2 Sibs?

Updated on November 05, 2012
J.M. asks from Doylestown, PA
21 answers

ok so i'm piggy backing the piggy back question. hopefully this pile on doesnt knock us over=)

so Emmy is an only child and my boyfriend and i have plans of having another child in the near future but since emmy is 6 there will be a 7-9 year age gap by the time we get around to it. so my question is were you close to your siblings that had so much of an age gap. were you closer when you were grown? also does it matter if its a half sibling (so 2-3 days a week is spent at your dads)?
so i guess my questions are
can you be close to siblings that have a huge age gap
can you be J. as close to siblings when you see them 4-5 days a week as opposed to 7?

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answers from New York on

My sister is almost 5 years older and now we're very close. Over the years it was up and down. I was a bit of a brat to her but in hindsight, a 5 year old is going to act differently than a 10 year old... Still very glad I had her and I think the feeling most of the time is/was mutual. I have a good friend with a sister only 15 mos older and my friend can't stand her sister. never has liked her much. So I think personality is about as impt as age... Adult life is really the most years so once everyone is grown up, I think the age diff matters less so lots of years to benefit from a sibling.

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answers from San Francisco on

I have a 6 1/2 year age difference and I wasn't very close as a child to my sibling but I am very close as an adult. I don't think the half or time spent away would make a difference. GL

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answers from Seattle on

I have 4 younger brothers. My youngest brother is 23 and I am 35. He has been great with my kids, he is hilariously funny, we have gone to multiple soccer games of his and he comes to my kid's games. I love him. My other brother is 26 and he is pretty great too.
The only issue is that by the time my youngest brothers were 5 and 6 I was already out of the house. So, while I love my brothers....I love them as adults. I didn't really know them as preteens and teens.
I don't have any 1/2 siblings so I can't answer that question.

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answers from Chicago on

My mom was super close to her sister, and her sister was 16 years older.

I have a friend with a 12, 7, 5,3 and 5 month old. The 12 year old loves all of his siblings and loves playing with them. They are super close.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

My mom is very close to her brother. He is 14 years younger (born after the death of another child) and they have always been close - even though she moved out (grown up) when he was still pretty young.

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answers from San Francisco on

See my answer to the other question :)
And for the record, the only sibling I am close to is my little sister, who is seven years younger than M..

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answers from Washington DC on

My older brother is 11 years older than M.. We were close when I was young and he was like a 2nd dad growing up. When he got married and started a family, it was like he fell off the face of the earth! I try keeping in touch but I don't get much in return. My younger brother is 4 years younger and we are close though now I usually hear from him when he wants something :)

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Houston on

My borther is 4 years yonger than myself. Are we close? Sort of. We are very different people. I do wish I had a sister. I would like that bond. My brother and I do try and for the most part are successful.

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answers from Pittsburgh on

My brothers are significantly older than M.. We're very close. They've always been my heroes. Still are!

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answers from Kansas City on


I have "two families"...I have a "step"brother (sorry hate that word) who is three years younger, but when he visited I was at my dads a lot of the time. We became close in HS.

We have a sister (1/2 sibling) she is 7 years younger than M.. We didn't have a lot in common growing up but she is one of my best friends now.

Other family both are 1/2 siblings...one is 10 years younger than M....we are not close anymore(we were when he was younger)...but mostly because he's 25 and selfish and I J. don't have time to babysit him.

Sister who is 14 years younger than M. and we are VERY close!

The second family I only saw every other weekend...it's all in how the parents deal with it. I don't think it's about how much time you spend with someone, it's about a bond between the two or more people. My brother could careless about being friends/close with M. (I know he loves M.), he thinks I'm old and not fun anymore. My sister(s) both put forth effort (same as I do)...hope this makes sense.

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answers from Dallas on

My brother and I are 2 years apart and are very close as adults, and were very close growing up, too.

I have half-siblings, but I didn't know them until I was 25, so that changes everything. We get along well now, but I wouldn't say we are close.

My children are 6.5 years apart (ages 8 and almost 15), and they are extremely close.

I thing closeness has more to do with personality and family dynamic than with age.

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answers from Washington DC on

I am 10 years older than my sister and my brother is 5 years older than M.. I am not close with my brother. It has nothing to do with age though. We used to be very close, but then he got into a lot of problems and it was J. never the same for us after that. I talk to him every once in a while though.
My sister was very close to M. growing up, even though I was almost 10 when she was born. I got married when I was 21, so she was only 11. She was very upset about it and came crying to M. that she didn't want M. to move out. We still stayed pretty close. Now that I am in VA and she is in CA, it's harder to keep in touch. She is finishing her last year of college and will be graduating this spring. I'm hoping to either go see her or have her come here for a week. We don't talk on the phone as much as we used to J. because she is busy studying and I am busy with the kids and work. We do keep in touch through facebook though. I miss her a lot!

It might be harder to be close as kids J. because I remember having to share a room and we would fight a lot (totally normal no matter what the age gap is), but now as adults, I want to be near her, lol!
So, yes it is possible to be close

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answers from Houston on

My brother was five years my junior, and we were pretty close. My husband has three boys--31, 18, 22 months. The older two are pretty close. I don't know if we'll have another, but I'd like to. It's important to M. that my son grow up with at least one other sibling in the same house, for a number of reasons. We don't think of siblings by half in our family--my side, husband's side. A sibling is a sibling, and we never use that word "half". I think that it only comes up when we're making a distinction about parentage.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Cleveland on

My MIL has a sister who is something like 15 years younger and they are very close and have been for years and years... Not sure how it was when they were kids but that was a long time ago now and they've certainly benefitted since then.

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answers from Washington DC on

My sks are way older than DD - 14 and 18 yrs. What their relationship ultimately turns out to be will be based on them as people, IMO. My DH is not close to his brother but that's due to who his brother is, not the age difference (8 yrs). My youngest cousin is 13 yrs younger than his youngest older sister and he is very close with all of them.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Spokane on

I can't speak for myself, but I can tell you my SD is 9 years older than Ty and 13 years older than Ryder and she loves and adores both of them and they are in complete awe of her.

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answers from Dallas on

I was the only child and only grandchild for 6 yrs. yes, I admit I loved it and I have stringer relationships with my now deceased grandmother and 1 special Aunt.

My brother is 6 yrs younger. We've never been close. We are very civil with each other but there is no " bond" as some would suggest.

He is on the downside right now financially and I feel that's his choice as a parent as he does not fully understand money and planning as I do. Ironically, I am the one who started working at age 13 and worked up to 3 jobs at the same time through college.

I do my best to help his family. He and SIL have huge giving hearts and they stretch themselves financially to support the 3 children they have plus any exchange student who comes to town.

I send all of my daughters ( 17 yr old) clothes to his 2 girls and they love wearing brands they can't afford but they appreciate the name brands we send which are hardly worn.

So to answer... I was pretty much the only and I was treated that way through my childhood due to my drive and determination. Now I am paying it forward... Not with a solid relationship with my brother but by making sure his 2 girls have fun exciting clothing and most especially food at the holidays.

I make extra effort to do things for his children because I want them to have good memories.

One if my brothers children is an adopted foster child who has been an inspiration to everyone. Their " rules" we're no child in diapers but they got a call for this child and no foster family was available. They took her at 6 months old, found on her moms dead body from a drug overdose. Interracial child which was even harder in their area but this child, now " officially " in the family for 3 years us such a blessing to everyone she is around.

That... Is why I support my brother. He and SIL have hearts of gold and unselfishness.

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answers from Augusta on

There is a 9 yr gap between M. and my brother
11 yrs between M. and my oldest sister
13 between my and my youngest sister
and 15 yrs between M. and my youngest brother

I am closest with my youngest sister.
But they are all much closer to each other than I am with any of them.
They are all my half siblings.
I really hate the huge age gap it gives M. almost nothing in common with them.

ETA: as adults my sisters and I are closer than we were when we were kids , because we were never really kids together.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Minneapolis on

My brother and I are five years apart and we're close. I think its more about personalities than age. Seeing them 4-5 days a week may make them appreciate each other more. Emmy may love being the big sister and then spending time with her dad and being the baby. It may bond her closer to sibs.
My kids are 23 months apart and are very close, but who knows what will happen when they grow up. My sks are 5 years apart and the age makes a big difference for them at this time (14 and 9).
My fiance is the youngest of 6 by 16 years. He's closer with some siblings than others, but they are all still close even with 20+ year age gaps.

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answers from Washington DC on

I am closest with my sister that is 2 years older than M., always have been. As adults, I am also very close to the sister that is 19 years older than M., and the one that is 8 years older than M.. I think growing up it was hard to be close to the one 8 years older than M.. I don't remember much growing up and when she was in high school she didn't want to be around anyone in the family. We did start to become close when I got into high school. My sister's kids are 9 years apart and it seems at this age, 11 and 2, that the 11 year old takes care of the 2 year old and not the close relationship you are thinking of. I'm proof that there can be a close relationship, but it J. maybe when they are older.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Grand Forks on

My siblings are 14 (brother) and 16 (twin brother and sister) years older than M.. They had all moved out of the house by the time I was six. I did not grow up with them or have them as playmates when I was a child, although they did take M. on some fun outings and buy M. cool gifts. And they babysat M.. As an adult I appreciate them, especially since my mom and dad died. We spend holidays together, and they have always been there for M..

1 mom found this helpful
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