We are moving and our 4 year old is struggling to understand what is going on. He has always lived in the same house and as long as he can remember, has gone to the same preschool/daycare and has many great friends there. We have done lots of things such as showing our excitement, taking him around the new city to show him all the fun things there, etc, etc. I know it will not be easy for him (or for our 1 1/2 year old)to understand but does anybody have any other fun ideas for me? We will be leaving sometime late July as soon as we sell our house!
PS......if anybody is moving to Idaho Falls, ID and looking for a great home, drop me an email :)
Our child was concerned that we wouldn't be taking our stuff with us, including the outdoor stuff, like the plastic slide. I promised her that people take their stuff with them. If your son has this concern, go visit one or two "open houses" which are empty (make sure they're empty before you take him!) and walk in and explain that this family also went to a new home and took all their stuff with them.
We moved when my son was just barely 2 years old. He understood alot (more than I thought) and at almost 4 he still talks about our old house. We were lucky because we weren't moving too far and had both houses for about 6 months, so he had a gradual transition where we would go say goodbye to the old house. Just understand that this will be h*** o* him and keep being excited about moving. If you are not really excited about it, make sure he is out of earshot when you voice your dread/concerns to other adults -- they are listening even when we think they are not. Talk about your old house and your new house. If he voices concerns or feelings of disappointment or sadness, don't just brush them aside. I'm sure (even if you are excited about the move) that you are a little sad to leave friends/family/house/familiar area. If you let him talk about what makes him sad or fearful, then you might find out what is causing them (little ones are afraid of the silliest things, like "the new house won't have any parks"). Good luck on your move!
I am a military spouse, and obviously we are moving more often than typical civilain person would be.
My son have had experiences moving 2 time in his life (( 5 years old)) and first for my daughter one years old.((Also a big big 9 years old St.bernard )) ^__^
We moved from OH to Utah imagine that how long it would take us on the road with little kid and older brother who loved his school and friends.
But life have to move on, we explain to our kid(s) upfront and tell them what would we will get and expected?
We also show him pictures where we will live,(( me my my husband love Utah , we bought a house in Layton area)) and he can make friends easy as long as he misses his friends.
Most important things I never make a big deal about moving, I make it simply and everyone will move in thier life time and how fun we can do , packing our favorite stuffs, tons that you can talk to your kid.
4 years old will understand and would not be a problem as long as you make sure that the home is where mommy and daddy are. That what's it.
Nice and smooth move..Don't forget some COOL movie in the DVD player in the car, GREAT snack and some Super duper cool toys for him too.
For a little one, we do stop often every 2 hours for her to walk and take a break.
Hi R.,
Perhaps checking out some kids' books from the library? They have so many good ones about kids moving. That could help him grasp the point, as well as leading to good discussions and questions.
Make sure to listen for subtle remarks and questions and really hear what he is saying. Having him help pack, especially his own stuff, is important also. And letting him help unpack and set up his own room (with necessary limits, obviously) can help him feel some pride and ownership of his new digs.
The trick is you don't want to create anxiety and upset where there was none, but you don't want to be unprepared if it does happen. Maybe take a picture of him in front of the old place so that he can have it in the new place. Or take a plant to transplant from place to place if possible, or even just press a flower from the old yard. You get the idea...
Best of luck!
The family I was nanning for moved last month. They had a four year old and two two year olds. I let the four year old ask questions and answered them as honestly as I could. Some of her questions surprised me. She wanted to know every thing would go with them, her bed, her clothing, her siblings, her toys, each doll, etc. It was easier because she was moving closer to grandma and grandpa, and the two year olds were just happy to go see them, do not understand that it was permanent.
The four year old made good bye cards for her friends, colored pictures for everyone. We went to the playgrounds, one last time, we went to the science museum etc one more time. We talked about all the things we had done the last year and a half, running through sprinklers, walking to the park, making welcome home banners, etc.
I agree ask him what he wants to do to say good bye.
Assure him he will have a new school and he will be able to find new friends that he can play with. Let him know not every child will want to be his friend, but he will find friends that will like him, not every child will.
Enjoy your new home and get involved in the activities you enjoy and you will find new friends for you and your kids.
S.
mother to Kai
www.HomeWithKai.com
R.,
In all your wanting to make this a "happy" move for your son, are you acknowledging the fear and worry that comes with something totally new?
Are you remembering also to start saying goodbye?
How are you, yourself feeling about this change?
The most important lesson any parent can teach their children is to be true to how they are feeling.
Ask your son: How do you feel about this?
What would you like to do this week?
Trust that he will share what is best for him.
With my whole heart, C.
