Help with Potty Accidents in Preschool

Well, you have to potty train her - in a different way. You indicate she has been potty trained since 19 months. That's quite young, so likely what happened is you got her body used to going on the potty at specific, probably pre-defined and regular interval and it always included YOU taking her or her telling YOU she needed to go.

But potty training is about more than just being able to go potty on the potty. Seems weird, I know..... but it's actually mental development as well as physical development and then throw in maturity and verbal skills.

What you need to do is potty train (again, differently) her so that SHE is in control of feeling the sensation and taking herself to the potty or verbalizing to whomever is present that she needs to go to the potty. Maybe start going places outside of the house where she HAS to use her verbal skills to ASK to go to the potty - instead of at home where she is comfy and knows the routine.

This sounds like a maturity issue, which isn't bad, but may indicate that she either isn't ready for pre-school or just needs some additional time to get used to it. However, peeing 3x in 4 hours seems excessive. Almost like she is doing it on purpose.

I agree that you should not put her back in diapers. Instead just send extra clothing to school each day. Let her know that until she can go in the potty at school she will be soiling her clothing and will have to stop playing in order to clean up and change. This is the very definition of natural consequences.

Good Luck

Where we live the teachers aren't allowed to assist with any pottying at all. Nor did they prompt or remind kids to go. You had to be potty trained to enter the class and if the child started going in their underwear, they would have been asked to come back when they were solidly ready for school and could go to the bathroom on their own. Do you think your daughter may just not be ready quite yet for preschool? We didn't enroll our daughter until she was 3 and even at that age, it's pretty young!

This is really the teachers' job. They should be working with her. In our two's class that's actually part of the program, because all the two's need to be potty trained before entering the three's class.
You can't really control what your daughter does when she's at school, only her teachers can, so talk to them. There should be a plan, they are the professionals and they should be used to dealing with this kind of thing.

It's a bit normal and she was potty trained early. My daughter would only go at certain places and only when me or hubby took her so it seems normal.

Have her go to the bathroom as soon as you get her there. Can the teacher take her and get her to try to go (rather than wait til she says she HAS to go)? Talk to your daughter, maybe rewarding her for no accidents at school (like a lollipop after school each day and ice cream at the end of the week if she had no accidents all week).

I have not read the other responses yet but my guess is that she is not as comfortable using the potty at school as she is at home and maybe having her in pull-ups for preschool wouldn't be a bad idea. She is also very young to be going to a preschool program at this age and I think you might be expecting too much of her. Even 3 and 4 year olds will cry when it's time to be dropped off and not want to use the school bathroom. When my daughter was that age, we went to a Mommy and Me program that was just 2 hours 1 day a week, where I stayed with her rather than dropping her off. At 3 she did preschool for 3 hours 2 days a week and then at 4 it was 3 hours 4 days a week. So you might want to rethink your reasons for doing this at this age, it might be too much too soon. If it's to give yourself a break, I completely understand, but if you think it's to give your child a jump on the whole preschool scene, it probably is not necessary.

Can you take her to the potty in the classroom at dropoff? Then she will get used to using the school potty.

Have the teachers made special effort to make her feel ok in talking to them? My son had a similar issue - he was simply shy and didn't ask to go. He also didn't volunteer answers in circle time, etc. The teachers in his class didn't single out the potty issue. But during circle time, when they asked a question, first they would call on the kids who raised their hand. Then they would sometimes make a special effort to ask him "What do you think?" And let him answer. Once he got comfortable talking to them in other situations, approaching them when he needed to use the potty took care of itself.

she is too young. remove her from preschool.

if she cant ask the teachers for help.. she is too young.

find a playgroup so you can go with her and be there to help her.

Maybe take your 2.5 year old out of preschool? I'm serious.

This is her way of telling you that she wants mommy.

As LeeLee said as well, (maybe it's a CA thing) teachers aren't allowed to help with pottying at my guy's preschool. They don't prompt or remind, either. Maybe in daycare they do, I don't know. They do take the children at assigned times, and children are free to ask when they need to go. This was spelled out to me when I enrolled him, as well as that if he did start going on himself he would need to leave preschool and come back at such time when he was ready, when he was fully potty trained. A sweet little girl in his class started out the year with him, she was gone after the first week because of repeatedly wetting herself.

I disagree that it is the teacher's job to train her, I'm sorry, it's not daycare. If she refuses the teachers assistance, she may not be ready for preschool. Hence, they're really not accidents, she's choosing not to use the potty but to go on herself.

Since the school seems willing to help I would follow CoCoMom's advice and retrain her to go potty on her own and ask for help, which is truly being potty trained. She may be a bit immature (understandable at 2 1/2) or doing it on purpose, but either way the natural consequence of having to stop, leave her fun activity and change may spur her to stop. The worst is you may need to take her out of preschool a few months while she works on getting it all together, but if you help her she will :)

My son went through something like this, although he was much older. He trained over the summer and was doing great! We even went on vacation with very little problems (and I was worried that the excitement and stress of a vacation would really mess him up).

He had gone to daycare the year before but was with me for the summer, as I teach. When he went back to daycare it seemed like he just lost everything we had done. He would pee his pants 3 or 4 times a day. His teachers said he would go potty and then 15 minutes later he would pee his pants.

He was already seeing a urologist for other reasons (didn't want you to think this alone was reason to see a urologist), and she explained that this was actually normal development. As adults, we hold our pee until we feel uncomfortable and then we use the restroom and empty our bladders. Babies have diapers, so they just kind of let it dribble out as it is produced. She said that our son had begun to learn the different feelings, but not completely. It's very possible that your daughter is still learning as well.

We chose to put him in pullups (even though I had never before thought that was a good ides) and pretend they were underwear. His teachers continued the routine of taking the kids to the restroom throughout the day, and after awhile we noticed that he really was getting it. His daycare teachers noticed that he was staying dry and really seem to be getting it.

He had been feeling the stress of having to change his clothes so much, so when he didn't have to be changed all the time he started to relax. It was a huge help for him.

Once we put him in pullups, it took just a couple of months for him to figure things out.

Getting used to preschool is a big deal! I might consider putting her in pullups just to relive the stress of having to change her clothes all the time. Maybe you could even reward her if she comes home dry!

Totally agree with DVMOM. Put her in pull-ups and let her get comfortable at school. Then if/when she feels comfortable pottying in the toilet will come naturally. Tell the teachers what your plan is, keep them fully stocked, ask teachers to let you know if she does use the toilet and reward her at home appropriately (don't expect teachers to reward). No child wants to stay in diapers forever -

I would take her when you arrive and when you leave. You can also talk to her about it. I assure you she is not the first or last child to have an accident and they should work with her on changing her clothes. If she won't let them take her, then they could tell her to go and just be available. You should also find out what she likes/doesn't like about the bathroom. Maybe it's something simple as she is so small and the toilet is so big. She's only 2. Give it time.

Wow, thanks so much for all of your comments! So just to clarify, she is in a preschool program for 2 year olds where they do potty train. However, since she is in a new environment with new people etc, I think she is just shy and hesitant asking the teachers to go. I have spoken to them and they are very kind and say to be patient, and they do ask her several times throughout the day if she needs to go, and she tells them "no thank you"

I know a lot of you mentioned that she was early to be potty trained, and perhaps you are right, but since she got a bit older, she has been pretty much going on her own to her potty, she tells me when it's time to wipe, and then she washes her own hands. So, yes it's been an evolving process so maybe I do need to help her get comfortable with new people.

So thanks again for all of your advise, it has been very helpful!

I didn't even have a bathroom in my 2 year old classroom because they just aren't ready.

I think that you might have known how she goes, when she is most likely to go. Then you remind her or do something that reminds her to go. That's what I have found to be how it is when kids this young are potty trained.

She is just being stubborn in her own way at pre-school. They need to deal with is, not you. It is "their" issue not yours. They need to handle it.

I have a 2.5 year old girl and she is potty trained as are most of the 2.5 year olds in her day care class. So I don't think her age is too young to be potty trained. I would not put her back in diapers or pull ups; that is just going backward and then that will take her backward at home too.

I think you should talk to her before you leave the house about how important it is for her to not have accidents, take her to the potty when you get into the classroom, and then talk to the teachers about using a timer as a reminder for a few weeks. For example, my school uses a timer for potty training but I never did at home. Nevertheless, every single time my microwave goes off or the oven timer dings my child stops what she is doing and says "potty time" and she goes to the potty like a little pavlov's dog!

Since she is only there 4 hours, tell her before you leave her at day care that if she has an accident free day, she can have a sticker or a yogurt or whatever. Reward her for not having accidents at school. My guess is if it took her 3 weeks to be ok with you dropping her off, these accidents are just a continuation of that worry about being left there and in a couple weeks if you and the teachers are positive she will stop having accidents if you stay the course. Good luck and please keep us posted!

I would NOT put her back in Pull-Ups. They're just fancy, thing, non-absorbent diapers. You would be telling her that it's acceptable to pee in her pants at school and it would be a gigantic mistake that would extend the amount of time she would be wetting herself at school.

What's going on is a slight regression because she has a lot to focus on. She's toilet trained, yes, but when she's at school she's so busy learning new things and getting used to the new environment. This type of regression is normal.

What actually needs to be happening is on the teachers, not your daughter. The teachers need to be firm in taking her to the toilet and insisting that she use it in spite of her "refusals." If she has her accidents around the same times each day it shouldn't be too difficult for them to schedule when to take her. You do need to firmly encourage your daughter to allow the teachers to bring her.

Tell your daughter explicitly: "I expect you to use the toilet at school. When Miss Rosalie brings you to the bathroom, you will use the toilet."

No arguing or discussion or convincing. Just a very simple statement of explanation, and you repeat this every morning before you drop her off at daycare.

My first suggestion (at the risk of probably stating the incredibly obvious): make sure, when possible, that your daughter uses the bathroom before you leave for the preschool. This should be a simple "let's try to go potty" as part of your getting ready for school routine.
Secondly, it's very common for people (especially young children) to regress when faced with a new, and initially stressful, situation. Since you indicate her teachers are excellent and patient, talk to them about this.
Thirdly, I believe you are right in not putting a diaper back on her. However, I suggest you not be in the attitude of convincing your daughter to ask her teachers about this, that's just putting more pressure on her. When she's comfortable enough about the preschool environment and/or uncomfortable enough with wet pants, she'll come around on her own.