Hello Ladies, Ok well a little about my son before I get to the 'issue' we're having. He is 6 yrs old & a truly splendid little boy. He's very booksmart. He'd rather read than play ball, build things instead of riding a bike. He's very much into nature & animals & 'earth'. He has many questions & is doing wonderfully in school ... EXCEPT (here's where the issue comes in) - lately he's becoming VERY whiny. He's always been a bit 'over emotional' about things (he gets the sad cry & the happy cry & everything)but I just took it as he's just a bit more sensative then the average boy. So the other day he came home from school & broke down crying (along with his whole body violently shaking & hyperventalating). He's NEVER done this before - not as a toddler or anything. I've seen him cry - and cry hard - but this was something new, something very different for him. I first asked him if something happened to him, if anyone hurt him or touched him or made him feel uncomfortable. Then I asked if he got in trouble at school, if he was scared or nervous about something ... and so on. He told me his friend pushed him during recess, he had the hiccups & couldn't practice singing for his school's concert that day & that he got in trouble for being loud with his best friend. Now, to me, this is no big deal - we've had a handful of days like these & He's never acted like this before about it. I just thought, hmm ok, just a really bad day. I comforted him. But 5 minutes later he was fine.
Later that night, when my husband & I were putting the 2 boys to bed, my son (6) pulled this 'temper tantrum' much like the one from after school. The shaking, crying & Heavy breathing.
My question/concern is : Is this normal? He's never given me this much grief before - EVER. He's never really pulled any temper tantrums when he was younger (i was blessed with that after severe colic he had as an infant & now my little one does the tantrums - so i didn't get too lucky).
So is he trying to act like his little brother? cry non-stop & try to get your way ??? I mean we really don't cave too often when the little one does it. Is he acting like a baby for no reason? He's been crying (not as severe as the other day) about everything lately "my friend called me a baby" or "he told me he wasn't gonna be my friend anymore" or "i didn't get to play with the legos today" I mean it's all litte ridiculous things hes crying over.
So do I take this sudden explosion of tears seriously or ignore it or what? I truly think my son would tell me right away if someone hurt him or did something 'bad' to him. I'm 99% sure actully. And I drop him off & pick him up from school every single day. So he's only away from me from 9-3 mon-fri. Nothing goes on at home - my husband & I try not to argue in front of the kids, we barely argue at all really. We have regular family nights. We eat dinner together every single night at the table (we're pretty old school really). We do many things with the kids - from the free trip to the playground to the weekend camping trips to the big amusement parks, etc. We're both VERY hands on & involved with our children. They are our pride & joy & we're trying so hard to bring them up to be 'good boys'.
Sorry for rambling - I"m just a little concerned about my son's actions lately. Any thoughts or advice or info would be great. Thanks so much. C. B.
ps - I have already spoken with his teacher & she said that she does NOT allow teasing in her class at all & will keep an extra eye out. Also, My son LOVES school. He loves being there & gets upset when he's sick & has to miss a day. My thoughts are maybe the recess/lunch time that something is going on ... I've talked to his dr. as well & he even spoke with my son himself & he too thinks it may be an attention thing ... but I give TONS of attention!!! My hubby works from 7am-6pm - so I have to entertain both boys from 3pm-6pm. Do you think I need more one on one time with him? I'm really trying here girls!
Thanks for all the help everyone! My son & I have had multiple talks about this situation & others - and I was surprised to see that stuff I didn't connect to the problem, actually were! We've worked on sticking up for himself & being strong (emotionally), but that it's ok to be upset & that's what daddy & I are here for. I think it really helped comfort & assure him that we're here to help ... always.
I've made it an extra point to get some extra time in with him - more so than before. We decided to let him stay up a 1/2 hour later than his younger brother so that he can hang with mom & dad. It's been really nice & we get to really "hear" him without any distractions from the other child (which he gets me alone ALL DAY LONG! so I"m not worried about him).
Also, this year he's in 1st grade & he's doing beautifully! He seems alot more confident & he's progressing emotionally, dealing with life & understanding that not everything is 'perfect'. I'm very proud of him for coming so far!
But thank you again for all the advice, ideas, comfort & sympathy. It means alot to have a support system behind you!
Hope everyone's having a wonderful day! God Bless!
C. B.
Hi C.,
I would email or call your sons teacher to see if anything might have happened in class that he's not telling you about.... maybe some kids are picking on him, or maybe he got in trouble for something. Also, see if the teacher has noticed any changes in his behavior, to see if it is something that he is just pulling at home for more attention, or if something is really bothering him. Good luck!
RECESS
The horrors of school, there are not enough teachers to watch every kid out there, my middle son got beat up and pushed around and and and no one ever saw it. At this age this is normal behavior, but what i am seeing is a child that is not able to process the right response and getting the attention.
Don't forget he is only 6yrs old and i am guessing just in school, one thing i told my kids is find a friend that does not hurt you, or tell the teacher or one close by when you are hurt by someone, because you are not at school when it happens, he needs to help himself. Its tough being home and not being in school to protect your kid from every bully out there, you need to teach him how to protect himself and how he can help himself and remember that he is only 6
have a nice mothers day
good luck to you
L.
Has their been a significant change in the last 6 months? 1st year in school/a new family dynamic/is he being bullied at school? etc..Any situation could change a child's emotional state. If he is being picked on at school this could lead to emotional outbursts..Is he feeling left out of something? It could also be an attention strategy. I like the advice of asking the teacher about his different emotional outbursts. If that isn't helpful, and you are still feeling that this isn't a "normal" behavior, I would seek the advice of a child psychologist.It also be the fact that he is over stimulated at school, and he is emotionally drained from it. I can remember as a child I would be so over stimulated that when I would come home I would be exhausted and very emotional/sensitive.. I hope this helps
C.,
My son is nearing 5 and does the same thing! In fact, I felt like I had wrtitten your post myself. Our Dr. doesn't see the need for any type of specialist and seems to brush it off. The pre-school he attends has setup meetings with our school district to try to get help from them and because his outbursts do not fall under the realm of "special needs" they too have pretty much blow us off. It frustrates me because we can not pin-point the cause of the manic-like behavior he displays at times. The other day he cried because the wind was blowing on him and sometimes at school it happends because a 6 mo. old baby is "staring" at him. It used to only happen at school but lately it is creeping in at home and at friends houses. I am starting to think something is wrong with me for thinking there is something wrong with him given the lack of concern we are getting from the pros. It breaks my heart but at the same time it makes me feel very frustrated. My husband started a new job, but his schedule is more favorable to family life than before and I am home with him when he is not at school. He has been going to the same day-care/preschool for 2 years and the main group of friends he has are the same. There are no big staff changes either. I am baffled. I hope that you get answers and ifg you do, please share them with me. Maybe we can find a person willing to see these boys before their emotions get the best of them and cause the problems with other kids. That is my greatest fear. Teachers will label him as a whiner and a complainer and his peers with call him a baby and sissy. He is very tall and smart for his age, already reading and writing words, very mechanical and inquisitive. I have no doubt that he will excel in school if he doesn't freak out about things so much. But, if he does and it creates a problem he will be removed from the classroom and feel ambarrassed or like a failure and that will only reinforce his "fears". I pray that we find him help or an outlet before this gets worse. Good luck and if you find any info let me know. Thank you!
A.
I also have an emotional son who is 7. He is very whiny and cries while watching tv shows! It comes and goes.I would maybe call the pediatrician and ask questions.It's the shaking and hysterics over what we consider small stuff that would be of concern.It sounds as though your doing everything right.It's so hard to know what to do. Kids see things so much differently than we do.Good luck. T.
I agree with Liz, I think the first place to start would be to contact his teacher and school, see if it is potentially the fact that he is being bullied or something else going on there. I hate to think thats what it is but these days, you dont know. The stress of a school day is so different now than it was when we were in school ( I strongly disagree with kindergarteners having homework, etc)
Kids cwill often change the subject because they dont want their parents to "know" that these things are happening. But if it is bullying, I would suggest taking care of it now before it got any worse.
Its so hard to see kids cry at any age - I have an 18 y.o. sister that anytime I see her upset - makes me cry!
But atleast you are in the right direction - and acknowleding his sensitivity. If the teachers dont have any sound advice for you, then I too would bring it up to his pedi? Google it online, go to the library - maybe there is a helpful book that targets these issues.
Good luck!
