Help with a 6 Year Old

Updated on March 30, 2016
M.B. asks from Merrill, MI
7 answers

I need help with my 6 year old he's outta hand. He likes to tell me waht to do and not to listen to me. Any time you tell him to do something he throws a fit. If he doesn't get his own way in school he throws a temper tantrum. If you ground him all he says his I'm telling on you. His dad doesn't help me any either because when he does go see his dad he gets his way and he walks all over his dad and his dad thinks that's okay. Please help me deal with him.

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answers from Saginaw on

Boy can I ever relate to this!! I am a mother of an 8yo boy, 4yo girl, and 3yo boy. I am single also, but recently my boyfriend just moved in with us. I was working full time and didn't think I had the time to be consistent and I let them walk all over me also. My boyfriend has been a huge help and helped me realize that I am doing them no good by letting them do this. You are the parent. Everytime my kids starting misbehaving and/or throwing fits they are sent to the corner. After a couple minutes we talk to them about why they were misbehaving or what was so frustrating to them that they had to have a meltdown. We as adults have to remember that life can be very frustrating and if we didn't have the coping mechanisms as adults, we would throw fits also. Take time to be consistent. If they talk back, send them to the corner. If they are being naughty at all, send him to the corner. It starts out being a ton of times, but eventually he will learn the behavior that is acceptable and the times in the corner will decrease dramatically. But you have to be consistent. Make sure you are sending him there for any behavior that is unacceptable or he will not learn his boundaries. If you don't like the corner idea, find another form and stick with it. Good luck to's working well for us :)



answers from Cleveland on

I was like this as a child but I was 4 to 5 years older. If you let this happen to long the outcomes are not good. I had to go to 1 year of therapy which I have still not yet recovered from the pain and stress my parents brought me. Now being older I get along with my parents at the age of 14 and I don't cry and scream like a two year old. But I was wonderful in school. My brother at the age of 9 is terrible at school. So I walk him to school everyday, have a chat with the teacher and I bike to my school. This will help you, the teacher, and your son stay on the same page. My dad always let me get my way until one day I got angry at my young brother when he was five. My dad told me to go to my room. I did and I was in there for the rest of the night alone. So get your husband to see your son's behavior. I hope this helps!!!



answers from Fort Walton Beach on

Unlike some of the responses that I have seen, I truely feel that we are born with a type of behavior and it is not always a passive, aggreable one. My 1st daughter has a controlling but sensitive behavior and prefers to enjoy the company of 1 friend as opposed to a large group. My other daughter is the complete opposite. In response to your situation, I have found it helpful to have my daughter run laps around the house as punishment. It burns off her frustration and is a health outlet and if the weather is nice, it refreshes her.



answers from Saginaw on

I don't think my advise is going to be pretty either, sounds to me like dad is the problem in a nut shell. It is extremely hard to be a single mom I was one for 7 years and I worked my but off, but every waking minute went to my kids every day off every minute not working. I didn't go out much just worked which in it self wore me out.

Please if you listen to anything I say don't let some overzeolous doctor label you'r son and stick him on meds unless you have him properly evaluated by both the school and the doctor. Too many parents use the meds as an excuse to melow thier kids and as a step-parent of one I know first hand how those drugs can break the spirit of a great kid.

I agree with the other lady though he is most likely acting out to get your attention try to set aside a couple minutes each day for just him. Read a book at bedtime or on the weekend go to the park let him know by telling him he does not have to act up to get your attention. Praise him for everything good he does if he has a good day at school tell him so that will help. When he does act up let him know that is unacceptable behavior and punish him not harshly but he has to know that the behavior is not a good thing.

As for the dad if nothing else works get him counceling your son that is and if the dad continues take it to court. Let the counceling be your evidense that dad isnt doing his job and this is hurting your son. Mostly remember kids will always challenge us no matter what the circumstance is. I have 4 12,7,4,17 months, and my 7 year old has always been a challenge. She throws fits and kicks and sreams and says shes stupid, but she is an angel in school and is a full grade level ahead of herself so a medical reason is rulled out, and she is just going to be my strongwilled child.

On tuesdays she has cheerleading and just she and I go to that and when my husband is home which is just weekends I choose one to run errands with me choosing a different one each time so they all get one on one with me. Same thing goes for dad he does something or tries to with each of them when hes home. My son and I play cars after preschool when the baby is taking her nap or sometimes we just watch tv together.

Hope this helps I know how hard it is to do this I often worked 60 plus hours a week when my girls were little so I know how hard it is to split yourself a hundred ways and get everything done. In a sence im still a single mom my husband is only home on weekends sometimes only one day and gone again.

Hang in there



answers from Detroit on

HI M.,
I have a 7 yr old son and everyone asks me how i get him to behave so well. I even get free offers for babysitting. Well the answer I spend time with him . I am a single mom . I work as a nurse ,but the key is spend time with him, read him a book,pick him up from school whatever you have to do . They act out because negative attention is better than no attention at all. We have family days on weds and If he acts up family day will not happen.(Family day he chooses what he wants to do , a movie and pizza, a board game, swimming at the local hotel,bike riding in the park,etcc... ) Give them something to look forward too!> I bake with him and his little friends when they come over . I am not the perfect mom ,but I don't have out of control children like my sister. I raised three children and a neice and they are very stable happy children. My sister has three out of control boys who are 12,10, and 9 and they are about to put her in the funny farm . She also has a husband who sits on the computer all day and screams at night when the boys don't listen.She thinks a move to the country will change her life and she admitted to me there is no structure in the home. Those boys have manipulated there parents since they were little and now she is paying for it. Her problem she works as a hairdresser all day and has appts up until 9pm everyday . He husband works until 7pm and wants to be left alone when he gets home. I asked he when she has the most relaxing times and she said when she is camping.
Well DUHHHH!!!!!!!!! get it they are spending time with the kids ,no appts, no screaming ,etc...Trip to the beach , playing frisbee, bonefires... something the boys look forward to .These boys don't go to bed until 2 am on a school night . If you don't nip it in the bud it will get worse. There is structure and routine in my house and I am not a person who Disclipines.If at all fails try it if you see results great! if not call Super Nanny and good luck!



answers from Saginaw on

Wow. You are quite a busy woman, between juggling family and two jobs. I'm sorry that I can't offer any better advice than this. Because it's, frankly, going to stink.

He is looking for attention. He desperatly needs you to spend more time with him. He's acting out in frustration. If he won't behave, it means that you have to focus one hundred percent of your attention on him if you want him to listen. It also wouldn't hurt to get him in to see a doctor about it.

I have always strongly felt that ADHD is overdiagnosed. For this reason, I was determined that I did not want to let anyone ever slap that label on him. Recently, I finally broke down and asked his doctor about it, as he had just behaved spectacularly bad for a well-child visit. His doctor took a great deal of extra time to sit and discuss my concerns, while observing how my son reacted. She decided he is a perfectly normal little boy, that just needs more attention, yet is almost frightened of being the center of attention. Great. So I have a kid that is attention starved, but doesn't want to be focused on. That should be easy to do-- yeah right.

To let you know what works for me, I try to take more down time with him. when I'm relaxing, I am always looking for clues she wants me to do something with him, even if it's just a desire to sit on my lap while watching a cartoon. I also ask him if he wants to help me cook, or whatever other chore I'm working on. He's only four, so it usually takes a bit longer to do a job. But, then again, it usually took alot of time to stop what I was doing and correct him for acting up, too. And, I now know he loves baking(not a shock, since his daddy is a baker), and loves doing dishes(good to know).



answers from Lansing on

I am a step mother of a 5 almost 6 year old girl who is the same way. But we are on opposite sides of the fence her mother lets her run around like a zoo animal. We had Alyssa 50/50 up until this fall when she started kindergarden and we could keep her under control we would have her for weeks on end and her behavior would change and go to a "normal" 5 year old, then she'd go back to her mom and it'd erase. What we found to work was corner she did something bad she got explained, put in the corner, and she couldn't leave until she was calm unfortuneatly we had to be very tough with her because she's a very stuborn kid. At first she would throw huge temper tantrums, run out of the corner kick and scream, kick the wall, but if we had to we would stand right there and not allow her to move out of the corner. Her mom is bi polar and screams and litterally acts crazy and she witnesses this and thinks it's ok to do, where my husband and I are very mellow laid back. It took about 2 weeks of constant on top of but it works. Restraunts she would throw fits we walked out, stores she'd scream throw tantrum we'd leave th cart and just walk out. She got the point quickly but unfortunealty now that her mom has her all the time her behavior is getting worse by the week. Now my hands are in the air

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