Help! My Son Refuses to Take Naps.

Updated on November 26, 2007
T.L. asks from Fort Worth, TX
18 answers

Ok mamas...my son, 8 months old, hates to take naps. He is so excited about life and refuses to go down. I will rock him like usual. He can be asleep in my arms and as soon as I put him in the crib he wakes up. It doesn't help that he already knows how to pull himself to a standing position. So arises a new problem. A month ago my husband and I did the cry it out method, which took me 7 months to muster up the courage to do. It worked like a charm....well, at least I thought. Now that he knows how to stand up the challenge is going in their laying him back down and walking away. Last night he cried for almost 2 hours, standing up, before my husband finally went and rocked him asleep, again. Everytime we went in their to lay him back down, he just got more pissed off. My husband felt like we were antagonizing him. I know he knows how to self soothe b/c for the first 5 months of his life he was sleeping throughout the night, and when I go to nurse him around 5am I can put him back into his crib awake and he'll go back to sleep by himself. He is doing a great job messing with me and it's really frustrating me b/c he'll sleep when he wants to, but when he doesn't he is nooooo fun to take care of. I would have no problem with him not taking naps except when he gets tired he wants me to hold him all the time and is whiney. Your advice/suggestions would be great. Thanks and wish me luck.

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A.G.

answers from Dallas on

Get the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It really helped my son who was going through the same thing.

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K.M.

answers from Dallas on

T.,

If you want something new to try, get the book "The baby whisperer". It's (in essence) the same thing you're doing, but you continue to go in there and lay him down as many times as it takes for him to "get it". One example the book gives is just that... baby is standing up and it takes (literally) 25-30 times for the parents to go back in there and lay the baby down, but it eventually works. Best of luck to you!
K.

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M.B.

answers from Dallas on

It is going to really drive you nuts, but the best solution I think is to let him cry as long as it takes... He'll figure it out and fall asleep. We had to do this when my son was a year old, and it was the best thing we could have done for all of us. We started on a weekend day so I didn't have to endure it alone, and when it was morning nap time, we put him in his crib and he cried for the full hour. At an hour, we got him and cuddled and played. At his afternoon nap, we did the same thing, and he fell asleep after 20 minutes. That evening we put him to bed after reading several books and he was asleep after about 15 minutes -- he was exhausted. Really, it only took a day or two. Now at 2 years, he'll still sometimes fuss but it is rarely more than 5-10 minutes. Sometimes he'll stay awake for a full 45 minutes during nap time, playing and talking, then fall asleep. Seriously, this helped my husband and I to sleep too. After a year, WE finally slept through the night! Please feel free to email me at ____@____.com. I've been there and know how hard it is! M.

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S.S.

answers from Dallas on

I do not agree with taking away sleep "props" from your child. These are the signals that kiddos associate with sleep and it will help put them into a tired state. I too am having trouble with my son (4 months) taking naps during the day. I've applied some of the tactics from the "No Cry Sleep Solution" and let me tell you, they really work! It requires a lot of patience though, but if you develop a routine and stick with it, man the payoff is fantastic and you don't have to let your baby "cry it out." Check out the "No-Cry" website at http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth. Good luck!

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K.C.

answers from Dallas on

I agree with several other mom's on "The No Cry Sleep Solution". I did it, modified a bit (had to let my daugter cry it out a couple of nights). The biggest thing is a schedule. My daughter would not sleep (even at 6 weeks of age she could stay awake for 6 hours at a time). I had to put her on a schedule and bedtime routine. We now read her a few stories and put her in her crib. She will play for a while but eventually does fall asleep. It was critical that she kept a scheduled time for nap and bed. At your son's age she was taking a nap at 9 or 10 in the morning and then 1 or 2 in the afternoon and then was in bed for night at 7. It worked for her and her cousin. Hope maybe that helps even just a bit.

Good Luck,
K.

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M.

answers from Dallas on

I dont think you need to go in and lay him down when he is standing up. My DD has always had trouble sleeping, we did the CIO method but there are still times when there are problems. When my DD started to pull up, it would take her longer to go to sleep but after she realized I was not coming in, she would lay back down. I think your son knows that when he stands up, one of you will come in, even though you leave right away, it stills gives him some attention. Try letting him stand for awhile and see if he will lay down. Maybe try letting him cry and stand for 10 min the first time, then lay him down. Then wait 15 min the next time, etc
Good luck, these sleep things are always difficult!

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G.F.

answers from Dallas on

Try letting him cry it out without going back into the room to lay him back down. (As long as you know he isn't doing the crying because he is hungry or needs changed.) I know it's hard, but right now he knows that by standing and crying, eventually someone comes back in to see him to lay him back down. If you are consistant in your behavior he will eventually give-in, you just have to be consistant. I know it's not easy not to go in there while he is crying. You didn't really mention whether or not you have a firm schedule for when nap times are, so the only other thing I would mention is that if you aren't already consistant today about the time of day you put him down for his nap(s) and the routine prior to the nap, I'd try to make that more consistant. Good luck! I know a cranky "I-haven't-had-my-nap-today" child is no fun to deal with. :-)

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M.B.

answers from Houston on

I am also a first time mom. I feel like I have done a pretty good job with my son. After visiting a relative's house, I was given some advice to stop rocking my son to sleep for every nap and at night time. I was sad because I cherished this time, but this person told us that she did that with her first child and it took 4 years for her to be able to go to sleep on her own. I didn't want that to happen with us. So, I bit the bullet and put him down when I could tell he was sleepy. I made sure he had his blankets to cuddle with and a pacifier if he wanted it. Like you said, it worked like a charm at first. Now, when I lay him down, sometimes he falls asleep right away, and sometimes it takes him an hour or so. He doesn't cry the whole time, usually he is just laying there talking to himself. At times I peek in and he is standing up. But he almost always will put himself to sleep. One thing I found that helped us from the day he was born was a white-noise maker. It makes several nature sounds. It always helps him not only fall asleep, but stay asleep as well. It was the best investment I have made.

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H.H.

answers from Dallas on

All 3 of my boys went through the obsession with standing phase that messes with their normally good sleeping habits. I dreaded that phase! BUT it only lasts 3-10 days if you stick by your original schedule and it does pass--I promise. It just seems like they are so excited they can't help themselves even though they are sooo tired. Good luck...I loved the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" if you are looking for some strategies.

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A.J.

answers from Dallas on

Firstly, get a crib tent. it will keep him safely in the crib since he is so adament about not wanting to be in there. plus you won't have him climbing out and hurting himself. Second, I have 3 boys and I know it sounds harsh but every time you go in there, you start the process over. there are 2 ways to deal with this situation, you can do the -tell him good night, (make sure he is clean, fed and safe) then tell him goodnight and leave the room and let him cry "until" (he falls asleep on his own). Or you can do the other method I have seen where you stay in the room and sit in a chair after you put him in the crib. but you dont look at him or talk to him you are just there (I feel like this is harder on the parents and the kids) and you start off close to the crib the first night, then the second you move a couple of feet back, then you are close to the door, then you are not in the room at all...

(I personally feel the first method i mentioned works best. I give my baby a bottle, rock him read to him what ever then I put him in the crib, zip up the tent and leave the room. He has music on the dvd player and a sippy cup of water in the crib and then he crys for a bit but I dont go back so after a while he learned to self sooth and he goes to sleep now when I put him down... it wook several days of this but it was worth it because now he does not have any trouble...

with my oldest, one night we put him in his crib and left the door open because we were putting stuff up and I forgot the door was open and he went to sleep with out fussing at all and we learned that at about the same age 9 months, he did not want the door shut so we left it open when we put him to bed and then closed it after he went to sleep. then a few months later he did not need it open any more.
They go through a phase at 7-10 months and they dont want to be alone. but it does not last if you don't "feed" it or train them that you will come it if they cry long enough.- Good luck, A. J

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J.H.

answers from Dallas on

have you ever watched super nanny?
One of her tricks was to put the baby in the bed and lay him down then sit on the floor next to the bed and put your head down. So the baby sees you and knows you are there. When is stands up dont say a word lay him back down and you sit down with your head down no eye contact.
It might take the two hours the first night but after wards it will get better. And each night you sit closer to the door where soon you are outside of the door.
Its a matter of wills and strengths right now.
I have tried this and it worked for my super stubborn little boy! Good Luck!!!

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H.L.

answers from Dallas on

My son had sleep issues from day one and didnt sleep thru the night until almost three years old. I totally understand what you are going through right now. The best thing I have done for us was to buy the book "Good Night, Sleep Tight" The sleep lady's book on how to gently get your child to sleep thru the night. A lot of it is about naps and the importance of a sleep schedual/routine. This book saved everyones sanity and we are so happy and well rested. Her method really worked for us and threr was No Crying.

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C.P.

answers from Dallas on

You need to stop using any and all sleep "props" such as rocking, etc. By 8 months, a healthy baby is able to go to sleep on their own, and any "props" you use will backfire later. As hard as it is, and as long as it takes, you will have to take the commando stance. Put him in his crib (start on a weekend) tell him good-night & you'll see him in the morning. Obviously, you wouldn't do this when he's ill. Then, don't go back in. Period. And if you give in after 2 hours of screaming, that just cements in his mind that persistance pays! This works for naps, too. If you can stick with it, and get him on a good sleep schedule, you won't have a lot of problems when he's teething, etc, because sleep will be an engrained habit. Good luck, believe me, we all feel your pain!!!

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L.S.

answers from Sherman on

You need to buy the book "The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems" by Tracy Hogg. She WILL solve this problem without having to listen to him scream - I promise!! :-D

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S.Y.

answers from Dallas on

After the same experience with both my son and daughter... I would say that your son is a few months advanced and learning how to manipulate you. No mom wants to hear those words, as I thought it implied my kids were poorly behaved, etc. My daughter always slept with us b/c she trained herself to wake up when we laid her down, and the few days I tried the CIO methos with her, she would scream for hours until I got her. It just didn't work with us, but her being my first, it was too h*** o* me to really follow through with it, too. My son, however... The CIO method worked like a charm. We co-slept until he was one and just got him in his crib. I will say that I couldn't go back in there to check on him. If I did, it just started the whole process over and he would end up crying much longer. Turn your tv on extra loud the first few nights to drown the baby out and soothe your nerves a little. Even if he knows how to stand up, he'll lay down when he's ready. He's already shown you he can do it by self soothing at 5, right? 2 hours isn't that long for him to cry when you're just starting the method! And you have to stick to your guns. Like any other issue with kids, if you show a weakness they'll prey on it and get you to give in every time. LOL
Good luck!!! I know how hard it is hearing your baby cry, but just keep telling yourself that it's something he needs to learn and it will make things run MUCH more smoothly in the long run!!
Feel free to vent or ask questions or whatever.

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M.W.

answers from Dallas on

T.,
We are going through the same thing with my 14 month old. It started at about 9 months. I know he knows how to put himself to sleep because he was sleeping through the night at 5 weeks. Another mom on here suggested the book "The No-Cry Sleep Solution." We are in the process of doing what the book says right now. He is sleeping a little better so you might want to get that book. I bought it on Amazon for next to nothing. Good luck.
M.

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P.

answers from San Antonio on

Hi T.. A book that we read that helped us figure things out was "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley.

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R.

answers from San Antonio on

The novilty of standing will wear off soon and he will probably go back to napping. My solution when my kids started that phase (at 6 months!) was to put them down for a nap in the swing. That way they are not able to stand and also the swinging helped keep them sleepy.

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