Help!! My Son Refuses to Go Potty!!

I think you should let it go. If you have tried everything you know, he is not ready. I went through the same thing with my 3 year old just before preschool and was sick with worry because they do not allow non potty trained children. But, like you said, I couldn't force him to go on the potty and my doctor said that would just backfire anyway. He was fine with the peeing part but would say no every time I asked him if he wanted to go poop on the potty. So eventually I got him to wear underwear and when he had to poop he would tell me he wanted a pull-up. I let him do this for as long as he wanted and it was only a few weeks and one day out of the blue he said he wanted to poop on the potty. He never looked back. It will happen when HE is ready, don't worry! My doctor said average age for boys to be potty trained is 3 1/2 and that is about what my son was. Good luck.

Relax! Don't get into a power struggle with your son. Boys normally potty train more slowly than girls. He does have control over when and where he goes potty and there is nothing that you can do about it. If he is Not ready or if he is using the potty issue to get control of an area of his life, you may be fighting a battle that is not going to be a positive thing. If it becomes a non-issue for you he might be more willing to work with you. "I thought you were a big enough boy to want to go potty in the big-boy potty, but if you aren't, you can continue to wear diapers until you are ready to use the potty." If the pressure is off of him, he may be more willing to try it.

Good luck!

Carol

What is wrong with going to preschool in pullups or pampers? My two granddaughters went to preschool in pampers and or pullups and many do. When he is ready he will go but don't push him as it will make it worse. The DVD videos sounds like an excellent idea. Good luck
I thought our son was going to be going to K. in pampaers but all of a sudden he more or less trained himself. Didn't hurt a bit and I wasn't so outchy about it with him.

to to the library and get some potty DVDs and books for him. My son LOVED the DVD Potty Power....and he love Once Upon a Potty for him....there is a book with DVD....
If he is that upset, leave him alone. They say not to start off if the child is in a negative place.
I motivated with something like a toy or candy. He would get 1 -2 M&Ms just for sitting on the potty. Later on we moved to him peeing on the potty and now we are finally finishin up with him learning to poop on the potty. For that, I bought these gummies that look like hamburgers. I put them in an easter egg and put in on the mantle..>He sees it and it motivates him that if he wants the "surprise" he has to poop on the potty...It's acutally working. We are near completion of potty training.
Also, this might not work for everyone, but once I went to underwear, I never did diapers....No diapers, No pullups. If you wanted to pee or poop in this pants I wanted him to feel it and realize how uncomfortable it is. Since you stay at home with him, maybe this is some you can it. It's not pretty, but my boy got the right away and cries when he wets himself.
Good luck

When you push kids to do things when they are not ready, other problems or behavioral issues may develop. If your child is that insistent about not going then don't push.

Maybe there's something he's interested in you can use to barter with. My friend used m&m's. She would reward an m&m each time he would sit down, another if he pee'd, another if he poo'd, wiped bottom, pulled up underwear-pants, washed hands, etc.

I used stickers for my 4 year old. I bought like 100 assorted stickers. Each time he sat down he would get a sticker. Then it became each time he pee'd he'd get one. Then it was only if he poo'd. Then I rewarded extras if he could wipe on his own, pull up his own clothing and wash his hands.

My second son was tough as well. I ended up rewarding a sucker for each time he poo'd and a mini Reece's cup each time he pee'd. He also got stickers.

If he went without being reminded, sometimes I would reward with ice cream, a toy from the dollar store, a trip to the dollar movie theater, a trip to the park, etc.

Potty training came and went and came again. When my son's were in the hospital, I had to put them back in pull-ups for the anesthesia. Then I had to re-train them on the potty all over again. My 4 year old was trained a couple times and then reverted since his younger brother was still in diapers. My 3 year old was the same way. I had to get tough with the 3 year old and start putting him in timeout it he pee'd his pants. He would get lazy and just decide he would rather keep playing with his toys or watch TV instead of going to the potty. After going to timeout a few times, he learned he better go right away. They both do pretty well now... rarely any accidents.

You're not "giving up on him". You're giving up the struggle and fight. Kids figure it out when they are ready, not when we think that they should be. Just keep encouraging him and he'll get it.

My 3 year old son was almost completely trained and when Daddy got deployed he regressed to pull ups. Our doc told me to drop it completely. He will do it when he is ready. Few adults are not potty trained and if you think of that it will help ease the worries. :)IT will happen!!

K. - let him go when he's ready. I had a lot of problems with my son and he first went pee on the potty, but then it took him a REALLY LONG TIME to finish the training. I think that I rushed him because everyone said that training should start at "x" age. He will let you know when he's ready. If you are at home with him running a daycare, give him a little time and space. Eventually he'll get interested with the fact that the kids around him are doing it. Good luck!

Drop it completely for a few months and then slowly introduce the idea again. You're in a power struggle and it's one you can't win. You simply can't force a child to go on the toilet if they don't want to. Sure you can set up consequences but if a child is strong-willed enough you're just setting yourself up for a disastrous time and an effect that can last for years. You do not want your child to end up "holding" and getting impacted. It can lead to encopresis, which is NOT fun and can take years to correct.

Let him be...this is something we can't "make" them do and when you force the issue it only makes it worse, much worse. My twins were closer to four before they did. I tried it before and about drove myself and them crazy. I finally gave up on it, put them in pull-ups and when they were ready they totally did it in no time. Goodluck

Potty training is like a team sport. It works best when all players are willing and ready. Sounds like your son isn't ready, so quit pushing him; let's potty training come on his own terms.