Help Motivating a High School Student

I hvae the same thing here. Mine is 18 to be 19 in May. She chose to change schools last year and now doesn't care about school. So I am just letting it go HER CHOICE. She does work a full time job and has her own car so it is her choice. good luck

I don't know if it's the work or just the getting to school part, but my two high schoolers attend Arizona's IQ Academy. here's a link:

http://www.iqacademyaz.com/

It's Arizona's accredited online High School. Your child can work at her own pace from home and attend classes online. They give you a laptop computer, a fancy headphone/microphone for attending their online sessions, a printer, and a stipend toward internet access. There is NO FEE! And it's not like home schooling because the curriculum is state approved and classes, lessons, and homework are run by real teachers. You don't have to worry about finding what they should do and teaching it to them and making sure they take their ACT, SAT, and AIMS tests. The school handles that all for you just like any other public school. It's just that everything is done online.

For classes they log in with all the other students, can see the teacher writing on the whiteboard on their screen, can talk to the teacher and all the other students, can chat online instantly with their teachers and fellow students for help and answers, and have their own email accounts through the school which the teachers all answer right away. They even have social events and outings and a prom, and even a "courtyard" where students can gather and just chat with each other about non-school things. My children have friends they speak with daily and have even been able to meet up with to go the the movies and stuff, so it's not like they don't make friends, either.

For homework, they simply log into their class, download their textbooks, read and do the assignments required, and submit them to the teacher through the online portal. For tests and quizzes, they click on their answers like any online test and they receive their grade immediately when they submit it. They submit weekly time sheets which serve as their proof of attendance. Anyhow, it's really a great alternative for students for many reasons.

My children are not problem children at all, but the atmosphere of the on campus high school was so socially charged, pressure filled, and time intensive that they were falling through the cracks. Plus they don't have to waste time with daily commutes, class changes, lunch breaks, discipline issues of other students and questions asked by other students that take up class time for inquiries about they don't struggle with, while their questions get overlooked because of lack of class time.

I wondered why my home schooling friends had all of their work done in a few hours each day when my kids were up at 6 a.m. and got home at 4 p.m. only to come home to hours of homework in the evening. It's because they got to focus on just what their student needed to learn and didn't waste time with other things. I always envied home schoolers, but I knew I just did NOT have the temperament to home school and I was way too nervous about making sure my kids got the right curriculum and took the right state and national tests, etc. IQ Academy is kind of like the best of both of those worlds.

You can expect your child to spend about an hour per day per class, usually 5-6 hours each day in total and that includes their work for the day, so no additional homework. Plus, and extra things they do count toward their attendance, like reading for an assignment, going to the gym or walking, etc., which counts toward their PE credit, or any educational outings you may go on, although those are not required. Oh, and they have special groups the students an join. For example, my daughter is in a creative writing group they formed for fun with some other students, and, while they are not graded for it, they do get to count their participation on their time sheets and get extra credit for it. She is even part of the student government as the vice president of her class. My son is a bit more low key and sticks just to his schoolwork, so your child can be as involved as she wants to, but doesn't have to be, either.

If you are interested, I would be glad for you to contact me privately for more information, although the site link above gives really great information and even videos of other children and parents who chose IQ explaining why they did. And if you do decide to go, I am sure my daughter would be more than happy to welcome your daughter right away. My daughter is organizing a social event for the 23rd which your daughter is welcome to join, but I would need to get you in contact with her right away before the cutoff. Either way, please let me know if I can help you further.

It's certainly not for everyone, but we have found it to be a great alternative for our children and are happy we found IQ.

P.S. I forgot to say before that you also receive a parent email and login to their account so you can access their work as an observer and make sure they are staying on track. Plus, the computers are on Cyber Patrol, so they are completely safe and monitored by the school to make sure nothing inappropriate is being accessed from their school laptops.

H.,
I can relate. My now 16 year old got into some pretty defiant behavior. She goes to a school in the NE and some of the girls at the school were not kind to her. So, again not her fault (right!!). So, she quit going, skipped, got drunk or what ever. Finally I talked to her about dropping out officially. But that if she did that I would not buy her anything except essentials. That homeless people did not get their hair done or go to the prom, etc. And that if she was not in school she had to work.
Well, that lasted one quarter and now she is back in school and taking night classes to catch up.
I have stopped worring about her, not that I stopped loving her. Just that she - my daughter - is controlling her life and she is at an age where if I try to control her she will become even more defiant.
It is painful but my hope this is only a chapter in a a great epic.
Goood luck.
R.

Hello H.!
This sounds very familiar to me... I was in your daughter's shoes when I was in school. Looking back on it now, things are very clear about what was going on with me. I was keeping it from my parents... We had to move away the beginning of my junior year from a small town and moved to a big school. That was a big change in my life and I became depressed. One of the first signs of depression is not being motivated to do anything. Also, since you said that she used to love school and now she doesn't... Losing interest in things that you love is also a sign of depression. Like me, she may not even realize that's what's happening here. I was desperate to please my parents and when they talked to me, I would say what they wanted to hear and I WANTED to change. The talks would always end with me crying and telling them and myself that I would do better... But there was something deeper that made me fail again. And it made me MORE depressed. Sadly, I stopped going to school all together without my parent's knowledge and they were very surprised when graduation came along and it wasn't possible for me to walk with my class. I would highly suggest that you get your daughter some counseling to work through something that she is feeling. Also, I would MAKE SURE that she's going to school. Call to check that she's there, etc. It sounds like high school is almost over for her, so you should put every effort into her well being in any possible way while you still have a say over her life. Good luck to you!!
L.

If she used to do well and like school and then all of a sudden stopped I would say that the problem is deeper than her just not liking school. Does she have friends and are they good friends with good influence? Ask her what she's going through and what would help her get through this. Is she overwhelmed by the pressure of school or friends? Have you talked with her teachers? At this point she may need a tutor or you may want to look at some of the online highschool programs that are offered online for free. I think the biggest thing is to talk to her and see why she's doing this and then help her come up with a solution.

It is hard to help your child when the hit a bump on the road in regards to their education. It may be draining for you and frustrating for her but it is essential that she knows you are on top of the situation. Keep in constant contact with the school and the teachers. Set up meetings with her teachers to let them know what is going on with her and her sudden dislike for school. Keep talking to her to see if she will open up to you about the reason for her taking the wrong turn in regards to her future. If she sees that you are concerned and you are displaying that concern, she may straighten out. Do not give up and be firm but fair in dealing with the situation. Also, do not be afraid to seek professional help for her should it be indicated that she would benefit from it. Good luck and hang in there!

My daughter has been out of high school for about 4 years now, but I hope I can give you some insight. Your daugter may be rebelling against going because she is having trouble. Not everyone learns the same way and I sometimes feel that traditional schools expect all students to fit in a box. Have you tried talking to a school counselor? Your school district may offer alternative schooling for students who do not learn the traditional way. My brother went to alternative high school where they studied from computers and worked at their own pace. Teachers were there to help as needed. Had he not had this alternative he would have dropped out and not graduated. Also, try talking to your daughter in a non-confrontive way...let her do the talking and tell you why she doesn't want to go. Really listen to her.

I motivated my son with something that he has been asking for for a long time. We said if you can get straight A's then you can get the cell phone. His whole attitude about school has changed and it has become a game to him.
He is getting straight A's to our surprise( he was getting d's c's and f's.) It worked for us. Try being positive and letting her know you love her. Communication is key and trying to understand why she hates school so bad.

Take away all her previlages. Only provide her with the basics. Home, food, water, only necessary clothes love and nurture. But don't give her any spending money, or any extras. Let her know that you won't provide for her unless she goes to school. There are alot of things in life that are difficult for us all but we have to forge through (school) It's her responsibility to her and you to complete high school.

I know it can be very frustrating. Hang in there! I think the first step is to just find out WHY she hates it so much. Is it the people who are there, or does she feel like she can't succeed. Maybe she is bored with it and needs a challenge. Since I don't know your daughter, its hard to say, but sit down with her and get to the reason behind all of this. Its hard to solve a problem when you don't know the true meaning behind the response. And maybe try finding just one thing that she does enjoy and start from there. If need be, try online classes or a different school if she will not go back. Just remind her that you love her and are worried about her.

Hi H.: I have a 18yo also who thinks he can pick what class he wants to attend & doesn't have any motivation for class either-I'm sorry, but I actually know what you are going thru-I even took him to Job-corp & he was interested in it, so we went for an interview & applied, but they wanted him to drop out of high school-but they wouldn't be able to promise him a spot in the program?? That's my suggestion. He seems to be more interested in getting his high school diploma, but his interest in school hasn't changed?? I don't know why kids now a days just don't care? Maybe our kids can meet & figure eachothers querks out? I tried counsling with him too & it wasn't very successful? Is she working, maybe if she gets a job or tries to play a sport? Good luck