Help How Should I Tell Intended Mom I'm Pregnant?

I know everyone is trying to be sweet, but the reality is, the parents KNOW you were implanted and they KNOW when they can expect you to do a pregnancy test and hear the results. There is NO way you can wait until Mother's day. They will be waiting anxiously for the results. So, my best advice is to make it sweet and to the point. And, as someone else said - say that the pregnancy test is positive (not that they are expecting a baby). So many things can still go wrong at this point.

Good luck!
L.

I had a friend who gave her husband a wrapped gift. Inside it was a tiny pair if baby booties. I thought that was so sweet.

My only thought about waiting until Mother's Day (if you know before then) is that this would be the IM's first Mother's Day, and they might want to celebrate and do it up big, but if they don't find out the transfer stuck, they can't do anything. Depending on how close you are to the couple, you might just have the mom with you to read the pregnancy test (after you've secretly done one to confirm it will come back positive). Then they can be there from the "beginning".

You rock.

Now, I am on board with your enthusiasm but also suggest that you gently manage their expectations in a gentle and positive way. I would start by having the first message be more "It's a positive pregnancy test" and wait for "It's a baby" until the heartbeat is confirmed. Because even though you have had 3 successful ones, this one involves some different technology and you want to be a little conservative, I think.

I love the newspaper idea -- here's an idea, I have a silly streak, but here we go: Make a fake front page (the New Stork Times) with headline: "Crazy Mom has Positive EPT". Then write a funny article about how you bought a test and found out you are pregnant. Then your husband hit the floor because you have three already, and then he hit the ceiling, when he found out he's not the dad, and then he had you committed when you insisted that you're not the mom. From your round padded cell you are sending salutations and looking forward to your ultrasound, meantime, send care packages with pickles and ice cream. Watch this space...

Hi M.! I am a surrogate in Mansfield as well. I actually have my transfer tomorrow! I have carried for this couple before. I didn't give them anything before we found out I was pregnant because I wanted to be sure before I got them excited. Once I had the blood test and it was confirmed I was pregnant I bought a bunch of different baby things-picture frame, some toys, diapers, etc. to give them as a gift. Good Luck! I am sure you will come up with something.

I LOVE Anna Lee's suggestion of a "fake" birth announcement
Just print it out on your computer, something like this

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
are proud to announce the pending birth of their baby
Due on November 5, 2010

Do you want to be there, or for them share in the moment alone? You can either present them with it, or mail it if you want it to just be the two of them.

What an absolute blessing you are to them!!!!!

First of all you are an amazing woman to give this couple the opportunity for their own child. That takes a truly giving person and a heart of gold. If you are to see them in person how about two little bibs in a gift box one says My mommy loves me or I love my mommy, my daddy loves me or I love my daddy. They always have these kinds of bibs in Babies R Us. Or if you are creative perhaps send them a "fake" birth announcement. "we are pleased to announce the birth of our baby"... and put the tentative due date on it. Or even just saying "your having a baby" would do it. If these folks are going through all this trouble to get a baby anything you do would make it special. Fingers crossed that you are!!!!

Don't have any super creative ideas but...

If you find out you are pregnant, I don't think you should wait. I am trying to put myself in "your mother's" shoes. If I were her, I would want to experience the pregnancy as fully as I could...And that means knowing about it, worrying about it, celebrating it as soon as the stick turned blue.

Hey M. -

How awesome and sweet of you, first of all.

Secondly - I'd definitely make sure you're really really for sure pregnant before you say anything! (duh)

Here are a few ideas that came to mind, just to throw in my two cents;

1. an ultrasound photo and a super crafty, handmade card written "from the baby".... i.e. "Baby ______" and use their intended name or their last name.

2. bake a small cake and use food coloring to dye the cake pink or blue, then ice it over so they have to cut into it to find out - and then of course decorate it with baby-ish themed designs.

3. send flowers to each of their places of work, with a card written from you and "Baby ____" using their last name. Or just one flower delivery straight to their home and plan on being there a little while after you know the delivery was made. Lots of florists are very cooperative with surprises like these.

4. send baby booties and a super crafty, hand made card from you and "Baby ______"

5. start a scrapbook for them. get all of the necessary basics (you can buy kits from Target, its super easy and there's no need to spend a fortune)... anyway, get the basic necessities, and make one page yourself, telling them of the baby. decorate it, include an ultrasound photo and anything else you feel would be sentimental and sweet - that way they can have something to immediately get started on once they know they have a whole pregnancy to go through. It would also make a great baby book once the baby is born - you can always add pages to scrapbooks, so they could continue using it after they bring the baby home.

Best of luck to you guys!

I'm Super excited for u and the intended parents. How about Mothers daywhich is about 3 wks or so. Iknow it would be hard to wait but that way you have time to confirm and plan a special way to tell them and to make sure baby is healthy.
Best of luck
M.

What a wonderful gift you're giving. God has & will continue to bless you all.
My suggestion is simple. Send a Birthday party invitaion with the month. Maybe a cute little rhyme. Short & to the point. Maybe something along the lines of
I'm not sure what day I will arrive,
Not even sure what I am just know I'm alive.
This invitation is being sent to say,
Get ready Mom & Dad, I'm on my way.
Just an idea. I'm sure with this wonderful gift, you will come up with something just as great as what you've already done.
Good luck to you.

I can think of fun things to send by mail (a little angel, a package of diapers). Or send a letter from the baby.
In person, you could wear a shirt that says Baby on board.
A treasure hunt with the positive test results at the end?

I agree with those that say you should make sure before you know. When we were telling my parents about my second child we had a shirt made for my daughter - the front said "I've got a secret" the back said "I'm going to be a big sister". We wore it when we went to go meet them for a visit. It was very special and a fun way to tell them. I would suggest wearing something announcing it and also have a shirt for the parents that says something about them expecting.

If you know before Mother's day I would go ahead and tell them. Mother's day is very emotional for those trying to get pregnant and being at the point of needing a surrogate I'm sure there have been some difficult Mother's days.

I would totally wait till Mothers Day to do it since it's SO close and you'll likely have had an ultrasound by them. I love the idea of giving her a mother's day present (some baby supplies) along with a framed picture of the ultrasound.

I think it's great that you're doing this for them!

K.
http://www.discoverytoyslink.com/karenchao

Gift wrapped baby booties!

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm wow, this question made me think.
well once you know for sure. maybe buy a baby book for them and include a picture of picture of the confirmed pregnancy test?

Any chance you could get the help of a local tv or newspaper??? Maybe ask a newspaper to run an ad that says you are pregnant or that they are going to be parents and enlist their friends to make sure they see it?

Bless you and I hope you are PG!

I don't have any ideas but I wouldn't wait until Mother's Day. For these people every day probably seems like an eternity. I think the newspaper idea was funny and very cute!

My friend who is a surrogate invites all her families to *most* appointments with her, and offers to Skype those who are out of state so they can "be" there. Ditto she sends them copies of all medical records.

The first couple weeks/months are dicey, so that's usually something she sets up ahead of time... how much the family wants to know, and when.

you could always wait for the first ultrasound pics and frame it!! and then wrap it and give it to them.

I've never been a surrogate but we waited 6 or 7 weeks, maybe 8 before telling our families. I had taken a picture of the positive pregnancy stick and sent it to my parents when we were ready to share the news. They of course go cell phone pics of the 8 week appt as soon as we left the doc office. They live 2 states away so they couldn't be there for the news but were estatic.

I make these delicious customized fortune cookies (Jumbo to quote a customer). I have had customers use them to announce Pregnancy, Birth, Weddings, and just for party favors. I can customize : flavor, color, decoration, AND the Fortune inside. They are shipped 4 to a box (Chinese take-out box tied with curly ribbon). http://www.etsy.com/listing/21517054/conversation-cookies

My sister gave mom and dad an angel with a September birthstone in it when she found out about number three.

a cookie basket, or wait until mothers day, then send a sonogram in a mothers day card. They have mother to be cards that you can buy. She will be confused to get a card for mothers day and it might take her a minute to get it. This is how I told my husband about our third, but it was fathers day.

What a gift you are giving them. Please keep us posted!