How do I get my 6 mo old to stop being so clingy! He cries when I walk out of the room, if someone else is holding him he just stares at me, if I sit on the floor with him while he plays, he has to be in my lap or touching me. I love him to death but I am a busy person who can't keep my house clean because I can't leave my son for a second. And he doesn't take very long naps either. He has been a huge momma's boy since about 2 months old. He used to scream if I left him for more than an hour. He is getting better about that. Does anyone have any tips or stories?
Thanks for all the great info and advice (except one). I know that babies go through this and I don't want to sound like all I do is clean, I barely ever get a chance because my hubby works two jobs and we are in the process(this weekend) of moving and I haven't been able to get anything packed. My older son was the absolute opposite of the baby! He took 2-3 long naps a day and was very content where ever he was. I have a front carrier but he is 21 lbs and kills my back, not to mention he grabs everything I am in front of. I understand letting him cry a little but he doesn't cry, he screams at the top of his lungs, until I pick him up then he is perfectly content. I am glad to hear that so many others have had this issue. We just consider him our "high maintenance baby". We have had many challenges with him, he keeps us on our toes!
For what it's worth, I have my baby with me 24/7 ( I work from home). I find it hard to get things done sometimes, but am trying to remember to enjoy the moments, because only too soon will she be a teenager that only wants to hang out with her friends. Get all of the cuddles and love while you can!
this is developmentally appropriate behavior for a 6 month old. He is learning object permanence--that people and things still exist when he can't see them. You need to wait it out and don't assume that this means his personality is clingy. It will pass on its own but he does need reassurance.
I read somewhere that until they're 7 or 8 months old, babies don't realize when you leave the room that you are going to come back. I would say talk to him to try to comfort him, but most of all, take time & enjoy this. They are babies for such a short time & the chores will be there later! Take a break & get out of the house alone for a bit if that's what you need, but just slow down a bit. You'll miss this time when it's gone!
Good Luck,
L.
Maybe having your other son play with him will help. I have a 2 year old and a 6 year old and when I have to get things done I have them entertain eachother.
welcome to the age........this is the age at which children notice their comfort. let him work it out. if he cries let him cry. yes as a mom it is hard to let your child cry. but remember that there is nothing wrong with him. he just needs the support from you and wanting to know that you are there. he is learning his emotions and learning that when he cries you are going to be there. let him work it out for himself. this is a learned behavior and it will go away soon. once he realizes that you WON'T pick him up everytime he cries or dont want to be held by someone. If you run to him everytime he does this then he is learning that if he cries you will be there to get him. you know when your son is not safe. and if he is with you in the same room or someone is holding him such as a grandparent then you know that he is safe. sing while you are doing house work or in another room. Sing his name. My sons name was sung to somemany songs that i think that i could have won the award for "how many differnt songs can you use Bricen in".......good luck and this is just a stage. dont run to him everytime he does cry or you are going to have a child that cries to get his way. remember everything that he is doing for the next several years is this that he is learning. He is learning what his emotions are and how to get the response that makes him feel the best. Good luck and rainsing boys is soo much different than girls. boys tend to be a bit more emotional when they are babies. Momma's boys also. but what mom dont want a momma's boy??............. i know that i got one............. and i LOVE him........... good luck and just remember he is learing just as you are...... and also....no two children are the same........ so he prob wont be like your older son............
I suggest a sling or wrap carrier, which will hold the baby close to you while keeping your hands free for housework or whatever. Then you can both be happier.
The best place to buy a baby carrier around here is Cotton Babies. The store is in South County, at Lemay and Butler Hill. They have a variety of carriers to choose from, and they'll help you pick the best one. Your baby will love it.
I certainly don't know if this will work for you,but all four of my kids did this to me and they didn't want to go to anyone but me. not even dad. I would make them go with their dad every chance i got. If he sat down in a chair, i would bring them over to him. Even loading them up in the car, I would make him do it. I guess basically I weened them off of me slowly until they realized they didn't need me for everything. And in return, they have a great relationship with both of us now.
Hey L.,
My daughter is exactly the same way. Noone will do but me, and her naps are very short, so there are few breaks and housework is slipping. But I agree with some of the other girls, the infancy is so short, try to enjoy it.
A few things I've done is if I need to clean up the kitchen, I put my daughter in her high chair with some snacks and talk to her while I clean up. She can still see me and see that I'm there, but I'm not holding her. Also when my husband comes home from work, he starts to play with her. While she's distracted by him, I sneak out to the kitchen to start dinner. If she doesn't see me leave the room, she doesn't get upset cause she's distracted with daddy. Then she is usually content to entertain herself with her toys or a piece of paper, lol.
It took awhile for her to start gaining some independence and being okay with mommy putting her down and walking away. Sometimes you have to let them cry for a minute to realize that they are okay not constantly attached to your hip. But he does still need the reassurance that mommy will always be there, even if she's not in the same room. I agree that talking to him from the other room should help. Maybe not right away, but things take time.
Good luck!
Laura was right...he doesn't realize that when you leave the room, you are still there or coming back. Once you're out of sight, you're gone to him. Try talking to him as you walk away, talking louder from the other room, anything to let him realize you're still around. I like the baby carrier idea, depending on how big he is. Do you have a play center, or some sort of stationary object he could safely sit in while you do some things? I also had a Johhny Jump up that hung between the kitchen and living room. He could keep an eye on me and have fun at the same time. It's also really easy to move from one area to the next. My son also had his own pots, pans, and tupperware to play with while I did some things in the kitchen, or paid bills. I know how frustrating it can be, alone time is pretty important. Don't feel guilty about wanting a little space. Try to treasure this time, though, as one day he'll be very independent. Good luck!
My son was pretty clingy too but I found he loved to sit in his exersaucer or a walker. He was pretty big baby and I tried to do the carrier and found it hurt my back way too much. Plus he was really too long to fit in it right.
I would just drag him along with me as I went. I think it was something about being off the floor that made him feel more at ease and part of the action.
Hi L.!
No matter what age a child is, they are able to learn and to teach. Baby's learn at a very early age that if they are put down and they cry, someone comes to pick them up. In turn, the baby has just taught us to go and pick him up whenever he cries. Solution? Teach the baby to self soothe and to self entertain. A play pen in the main room of the house is a good start. Put baby in, and set a timer for ten minutes. No matter how he yells for you, leave him in there with a toy and a book for ten minutes (do not use the TV to pacify him). Make sure that he can still see you, and talk to him in soft tones. Gradually increase the time until he is at a time that you are comfortable with. This is not an easy process, but well worth the effort! Good Luck!
Sorry, if I sound harsh....but did you really read your letter? He's 6 months old, not 6 yrs. old!!! Maybe for now, let some of the house work go, or buy a baby carrier to wear so he's comforted by you. I am sure you are frustrated, but it is obvious that he needs you! I can't be too sympathetic, as I don't think at six months old he's learned to be manipulative.
Put the broom down and play with your baby! Eventually, he'll gain confidence that you will come back when you leave the room or house. Talk to him and reassure him. He'll be grown up soon enough, so cherish his infancy!
