Help! 8 Month Old Won't Sleep Without Mommy!

Hi H.,
I had the same problem with my daughter when she was about the same age. I actually took the advice from the Super Nanny that just happened to be on while I was going through this. It worked really well and within 3 days, my daughter would actually go to sleep on her own. This is what I did. 1st set a bedtime routine, bath, book, bed (or whatever you want to do). Routines are very important. Then put the baby in it's crib and leave even if she screams. Watch the clock and go in 2 minutes later. Don't say anything to the baby and DON'T PICK HER UP. Just rub her back/ tummy or whatever soothes her until she stops crying. When she does, just leave & DON'T SAY ANYTHING. She will probably scream when you do. Go back in and repeat this at 4 minutes this time. Keep doing the same thing, doubling your time each time. I swear it worked for my daughter. She is 13 months now and when we put her to bed, she puts herself to sleep almost every night. There are the occasional nights that she cries, but it is only for a minute or two. Good Luck. I hope this works for your friend. Mommies need their own time.

Bedtime routine is important and maybe if Daddy put her to bed for a week or so it would help restart the routine.
I personally don't think you can spoil a baby so young, and her hysteria is probably part of the "seperation anxiety" that they get right around 10 months. I don't believe in letting them cry it out. They aren't a dog you put in a kennel for 8-10 hours when you are done with them for the day, they need what they need and they don't cry unless they need. You don't meet their needs, the trust level drops.
C.
(Mommy of a 2 year old who sleeps fine on his own but was never left to cry it out)

Hi,

PLEASE learn from your friends error!!

Has she tried having dad put the baby to bed? That worked for my kids especially when I was still nursing them. They cried but he NEVER gave in and picked them up. He would talk to them and rub thier backs but that was it. I think not picking them up is the key to success. No matter how long the baby cries, hug and kiss them over the side of the crib and tuck them back in every so often and at some point, it could be a few days or a week, they will realize you aren't picking them up. The baby will give up the crying and just go to sleep. She's taken 8 months to create this problem, it's not going to be over in a day or two. Tell her to just stick with it and expect a few sleepless nights! Good luck to her and to you with the new baby!

Yes to bedtime routines. We do a similar routine with bath, pjs and read a from a book. Mine still cries for about 1 min when I leave the room, but it's just a test to see if I will come back. Kids learn how to manipulate us from the time that they are born... which is a good thing. By the time they are this age however, they have begun to use that power for EVIL... just kidding. Mom will probably have to let her cry it out. Maybe letting Daddy do bedtime would be good... Mom could go out of the house (maybe even meet a friend for coffee) while this is happening if she is too soft hearted. She will be surprised when DD doesn't have a fit for Daddy.

your friend has set up some bad habits in her litttle one. she may have to let the child cry it out.. a horrible thing but it might have to happen..

make sure you do not train your child to sleep with mom.. start puttin the baby down in bed from day 1 to go to sleep- at first we had to stand by my duaghter and rub her head, pat her back rock teh cradle, replace the pacifier- but eventually she was able to self soothe and put herself to sleep... now at 16 months.. we just plop her in bed for the night or naps and she puts her self to sleep.

I suggest hte kid sleep book called healthy sleep happpy child. the author is a pediatrician. maybe there are tips for your friend..

I had a similar problem with my baby. After he recovered fully from the preemie stage about 6 months we moved him from the bassinet in our room to his crib in his room. At first he let us know he did not like the situation much the same way your friends baby does. We made sure to call it 'Ethan's room' during the day and make a big deal of play time in there. A special nite light but room darkening shades! It is so important to keep it dark for good sleep habits, I found. When he is awake shades up! When I would rock him and put him to bed he would just get up and cry, cry, cry. I put multiple pacifiers in his crib with his favorite stuffed toy (a few very small that attached to side).
And his baby blanket (8 inches square). Nothing worked. Finally, his Dad took over. And we he laid him down after rocking and a bottle He would rub his tummy or back making shushing sounds and then go back and sit in the rocker so baby knew he was there. At sounds from the baby he would shush and shh,shh,shh again. Finally it worked, we also used very low very mellow childrens classical lullaby cd. Routine is so very key!
Good Luck. We all go through some kind of angst, she is not alone.
First time Mom at 39

Hi H.,
Get the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". I think someone else suggested it also. It is a wonderful book. Does her daughter sleep with her and has she always been like this? She needs to have a bedtime routine. I start getting my kids ready for bed about 45 minutes before their actual bedtime. I give them a bath and get their pj's on and then we read together and just cuddle a little. They know when it is bedtime and never fight it. There are many different ideas in that book but I would personally let her cry herself to sleep. She keeps crying so long because Mom keeps coming in to get her. If she puts her down and she crys for an hour and she goes to sleep the next night will not be as long. After a couple of days it will get much better. Tell her to get the book. It's great.
Good luck and learn from her mistakes.
Chris