Help! 3-Year Old Is Pooping in Underpants

my daughter did the same what worked for me was to have her help me clean the undies she was not to happy about doing it. She said she didn't like doing it, i told her she is going to have to help me everytime beacause mommy can't do it by her self told her is she stop doing it we would not have to do it any more and she stop. She was just seeking for attention she is only child. I notice with my daughter if she doesn't like something she will stop doing it if I put her to help me. For example making a mess she doesnt like to clean up all he mess so know she is learning to play in playroom and just with what she wants and put it away and grabs other things. hope it helps

My son, now 4 1/2 did the same thing. I started putting him in the bathtub every time and just letting the cold water run and cleaning him off with soap and cold water. I don't think you need to worry too much about scarring them for disciplining that kind of behavior. If you know she understands the concept, she needs to learn to obey. Just throwing away his underwear and pants didn't phase him for more than a few minutes. But some strong, but loving words telling him that that was unacceptable and some discipline that didn't feel good made an impression and about a week later he started using the toilet. Don't be afraid to be the boss, but love her and point her in the right direction. Good luck!

First of all, your problem is very common. It is very annoying; however, the reason that kids do have difficulty with the pooping & not the peeing is because it is solid and they cannot separate the poop from the rest of their body. In other words, it's like flushing down an arm or leg. It can scare a child. The child may want to maintain control over that function. It is important to have patience, because the last thing you want is to have a power struggle with your child over this issue. It may backfire(no pun intended!)
I recommend giving a big send-off to their poop. We would say, "bye bye poop!" I told my girls that their poop would go down the drain to the rest of their family.

Also, a reward system may work. We used stickers. Good luck, you will get thru it, but it's not easy--been there, done that!

Gosh, wish I could help! I have the same problem. My twins are 3. The girl pees and poops in the potty. The boy only pees on the potty. He poops when he wakes from a nap or in the morning because he has a diaper on (just like your daughter) but if he misses that chance I do see him sometimes ask to be put on the potty, but he seems afraid to poop. Since it's bad for him to hold it in, I just ask if he needs a pull up or a diaper. Then he wears the diaper until he poops and it comes off. That's my solution now.

Are there signs your daughter is about to poop? Does she retreat to her room? Does she grunt, squat, do the "poopy" dance, as I like to call it. Look for the queues and then ask her if she needs a diaper. I don't see any reason to force her to soil her underwear. We've had very few underwear poop accidents since the twins were train, and I always just wash the underwear on a double rinse cycle in the washing machine, then I throw them in with the regular laundry for another wash. So I'm confused as to why you're throwing them out.

Good luck. I figure they will poop on the potty when they're ready.

Hi J.,

I also have a 3yr old and I had to completly take away all diapers and pull ups so she can began to be free and independent. It maybe messy for a little while but after sometime she'll fully understand and will get the hang of it... Every so often my daughter poops in her panties as well. The difference with my daughter she dumps the poop in the potty out of her panties or into the bathroom garbage..I have to admit I thought it was funny in the beginning but after a while the smell of poop everywhere and ruined panties became annoying...Anyhow I realized that my daughter does not like the water splash from the toilet onto her behind when the poop hits the water, so she'd rather poop standing and dump it later...Yuck..Maybe your daughter is the same way??? Maybe she doesnt like the water splash from the poop hitting the potty? That feeling for beginner potty poopers can be uncomfortable!! What I would do is start leaving some toilet paper in the toilet so when her poop drops it wont really splash. My daughter has shown improvement with this method. I suggest you try it and see if it works for your little princess otherwise commando it is...lol

A three year old daughter! Get your plan and stick with it. Now that you have her in Comando, just stay where you are in that. This is an example of the 3 is me stage; What you are experiencing as control is a natural part of her development. But getting into it with her is not the plan. So, offer her only positive affirmations in her choices. And be patient.

However, all choices in life have consiquences. She is now comando, and she may want to do something away from home! Perhaps once she is using the potty then she can leave the house. As matter of factly as you can make it.

I wish to say also, that 2 year olds are easier. Also ones aproach helps. Moving thru life and thresholds with you child in the same way as we do the seasons, saves many arguments and "conversations". This is the time for summer and this is the time for no more diapers, example.

Blessings and be consistent.
Alexis,

Kids frequently regress when being potty-trained -- considering that there is another post today on the same subject should make you feel a little less stressed about this. :) Sometimes it's because of a change (even subtle) in what's going on at home, sometimes it's just for no reason whatsoever. DON'T SWEAT IT!

Probably the easiest thing to do is just to put her in pull-ups again. Don't let this become a battle of wills, because she will win and you'll be stuck with gross underwear for a whole lot longer!

There is a lot of 'power' in pooping -- I could go on for ten pages about why kids don't want to pee or poop in a toilet, but really, who cares. ;) Put her back in pull-ups, and whe will get to a point where she is both physically and psychologically ready to do her business on the john. You're doing nothing wrong, SHE'S doing nothing wrong, she just needs a little more time. Have a great holiday!!

Don't feel bad my son is 4 1/2 and I think he finally got it. (the last 3 days). I had problems with him and just gave up and stopped and put him in pull-ups. Then months later I tried again and still had a hard time. Somebody suggested to have go without pants to see if that works. I was going to try this over christmas break since I am stuck home with the 3 kids and in the afternoon he will have no pants on. But the last 3 days he did go poop in the potty, so I might not have to do this time will tell.
M.

Hi J.,

I went through the exact same thing with my son. We had so many accidents at people's houses, at home, at the parks. It seemed that he would always poop at the wrong time and place. When I spoke with his pediatrician she told me he needed t feel less pressured and more comfortable about it. So she told me to put the diaper on him so he could poop. She even spoke with him and told him "you can only poop either in the potty or on your diaper, these are the only two good places to poop, ok? if you know you need to poop, ask you mommy for a diaper and she will give you one. She also will give you a sticker every time you tell her you need to poop on the diaper." Then I kept repeating the same message over and over again. Asking him every ten minutes if he needed to poop. I learned, more or less, his patterns to poop: every meal. So I would put the diaper on him before we seat down for our meals. It worked really well. He got very excited because he would get two stickers every time: one for asking for the diaper and one for pooping in the diaper.

Then, one day, he was taking a bath and he needed to poop. We rushed to the potty and he pooped in the potty. At that moment he realized that pooping int he potty was not a bad thing after all and now he is potty trained, completely. He asks to pee and poop in the potty. And he is able to hold in the pee really well too. He is 2 3/4 yrs.

I really hope this can help J.. And I hope this phase passes soon.

Best regards,
M.