Having a Second Child - Will Have 2 Under 2 - Saint Louis,MO

I have a son and daughter who are 15m and 8days apart. Let me tell you it is had at first to try to get used to having to tote around to babies but it is so worth it. My son is in love with his little sister and she with him. He looks out for her all the time we can't do anything without her. My best advice is to have lots of help for a couple of weeks until you get the hang of it. I also breast fed and its not so bad. If you have to put a baby gate up to keep him in the same area or let him sit next to you so he doesn't feel left out. Good luck and don't worry He will adapt just fine and so will you.

I too had two under two. My oldest son was 17 months old when my second was born. It's not been bad at all for us. I think it was actually easier in the beginning that it can be at times now! They're almost 4 (in March) and will be 3 (in August) and at times argue with each other or play off of each other when it comes to getting what they want. My youngest does EVERYTHING my older one does as soon as he does it-I'd say don't worry they will enjoy each other being so close and having someone around to play with all the time.

I know how you feel I have had three children in three years they are now three,two and one it is fun but it is also a pain in the back side at times if you ever need some thing let me know I have the patince of a saint when it comes to kids

Congrat's on your new addition. When my twins where 14 1/2 months I had their sister. Because of chasing them around it was hard to nurse her, but I was able pump so she didn't have to go on formula. As far as toting them around. It is probably easier with 2 children than three. I only went to places that had carts and would try to park next to a cart corral so that I could put the two that could walk in it without having to chase them around and worry about them getting hurt or I would go somewhere where I knew I could park close and be able to get all of them inside without much of a hassle. You could try those children harness' for your oldest so that way you can keep ahold of him while you are carrying the baby into the store,etc. Hope all works out. Best of luck to you.

I have 3 kids-3 and under. I know you can do it! I would definitely try nursing the baby. It is hard, but can be done.

My boys are 15 and a half months apart. I really thought it would be a lot worse than it was. The hardest part was when I had Dylan, Jackson wasn't used to being away from me, and ended up crying the first night so hard that he threw up, so finally they let him and my husband stay in the hospital with me. He was really too young to understand there was another baby. My husband just started doing more with him, and I included him as well. It wasn't bad at all. As far as shopping with 2, we got a double stroller. And if I went to wal-mart, I would park next to the cart return thing and get a cart before I got the boys out of the car. It was too hard to manage a car seat and a toddler running around without it. It will be like having twins. But it really wasn't that bad. email me if you have any questions. ____@____.com :) Good luck!

I know exactly how you feel, I had my second child in May of 04, and when she was three months old i got pregnant with my third child. So I had a daughter that turned 1 in May of 05 and a daughter that was born in June of 05. Let me tell you the first week was hard but it got better. You will be able to nurse trust me I did and I had a 4 and a 1 year old running around and I nursed my third daughter till she was 16 months old. My son is 5 almost six his name is Mikaal , my daughter Ashlyn is almost 3 and my daughter Kaylyn is 20 months old. So you will be able to do I promise... Blessings to you and your family, J.

well I understand your fears my son was 12 1/2 months old when I had my daughter and wow was i scared but you know it didn't bother my son at all. I do not remember him being jealous but i also remember both of them being in the rocking chair with me a lot but i wouldn't have it any other way. I really think once you get a plan and a routine worked out everything will be good. Just keep a positive outlook on it sleep when they sleep and don't be afraid to ask for help from family and friends. Good Luck and take care.

This may be too late -- but I just want to encourage you too. My daughter (born 12/04) and son (born 2/06) are 15 months apart. Everyone kept telling me that the first year would be really hard, and we passed that milestone last month when my son turned 1 year. I was able to breastfeed both for 6 months.

My daughter was 15 months when he came home, and she actually didn't give him alot of attention. She didn't like us putting him in her lap for photos or anything. Ar first she was kind of like, "when is he going to leave our house." As she got older, at about 20 months, she really warmed up to him. Now she takes good care of him. She brings him his pacifier and loves having a partner in the bathtub and someone to play with when we were snowed in over the last couple of months.

They sleep in separate rooms, but even when one is wailing, they don't wake each other up.

As for totting around, we take walks around our neighbor and stuff, but I never go out alone with them both. Both me and my husband work, and he drops them off at my mom's house in the morning. On the weekends we go places together, but I can't imagine going to the store with both of them by myself.

I had the same anxiety about how would I handle both, but it seems like I am a more confident mother with #2, and I don't follow up on him as much as I did my first.

Also, the second year FLIES by!

CONGRATS!

J.,
You probably don't need any more responses, but I thought I'd share my experience having 2 under 2. IT WAS HARD, TERRIBLY HARD! LOL! But, we're doing fine now. I had to stop nursing at 9 weeks, because my other son was constantly getting into things and climbing up on tables and everything so I could not keep him safe while I sat there for 20 minutes nursing.
You need to stay home as much as possible. It is HARD going out with 2 little ones. My boys are 15 months apart. They have so much fun together now, but we still rarely go anywhere. We don't go out to eat or to the mall. We're pretty much stuck at home for probably another year. They're 36 months and 21 months now. So, I think once you make it through the first few years, it will get easier. Just don't try to do to much and stay at home as much as you can!

I have 2 that were born 23 months apart. I am going to be honest and say that it was no picnic. Escpecially since dad was almost absent the whole time. I had the baby up until 5 am and my son waking up bright eyed and bushy taled at 6 am ready for the day. There were times where I would fall asleep during the day. I couldn't stay awake. My son would go rampaging through the house very quietly. I used to smoke. I would find my cigarettes broken. I found my dry detergent spread out like sand...all in a matter of about thirty minutes. It took some time to get a routine down...finally I got my older childs nap time set at the same time as the baby, then we all slept. I had to carry my two year old son on one hip and my newborn daughter in her infant carrier on the other. I bought a tandem two seater stroller. That helped out. Once my daughter started sleeping through the night it was a little easier. I know that this all seems doom and gloom, I just don't want to sugar coat what you are about to go through. I can tell you that it does get easier as they grow. My children are now 11 and 9 and life is great. They are just now getting to the stage where they fight a little. It didn't take much to get out of that rut. I guess what I am trying to say is hang through it and it will all be very rewarding in no time. Good luck! Feel free to contact me to vent or for advise or anything else. ____@____.com

I have two under age 2. When Mateo was 16mths old I had Julian (not planned). They are now 22mths and 5mths. I was apprehensive at first too but it has all worked out. I just take each day as it comes. Mateo wasn't too receptive at first and he still sometimes gets a bit jealous but all in all he does pretty well. I just try and give him special mommy time whenever I can. Its getting harder now since my husband left for his deployment but I have family to help.
Good luck!!

WOW YOU ARE BRAVE !!!!!!

With both my kids I always ran the vaccuum while they slept so I never had to worry about that and now my son litterally can sleep through a tornado if i let him so when they get close I just make him sleep in the bathroom!!! My kids were 3 and 1/2 years apart and that was close enough for me!!!

I was worried my daughter would be jealous of my son so I told her she would have a baby brother to play with!!! She was happy unfortunately I did not specify when he could play she walked into the delivery room and said alright you are here finally i can play with you then the let down i told her he had to get bigger and she stuck her lil hand on her hip and said "mom you said I could play with him when he was born" so I blew that oh well they grew up just fine until he got annoying lol

good luck
S.

Check the 2 under 2 thread at www.babywhisperer.com.

J.,
No need to worry. I'm also in your shoes but I am pregnant with my third. I have a 4 year old and a 16 month old and am having my third next week. I was really worried about how my daughter was going to react to a new baby, especially since she is still very much the baby in the house. I don't want her to be jealous. Here is what I did. I went and bought her a baby doll and started working with her on how to take care of a baby. We have learned how to love the baby and bathe it and feed it. And yes this works for boys too. I did the same thing with my son who was 2 when I brought my daughter home. And then when the baby does come home, encourage your son to take care of his baby and do the things to it that you are doing with your baby. And once you get past the freaking out stage, worried that he's going to hurt her, let him start helping take care of the baby. Because then instead of being seperated from everything he's a part of it and will love being the helpful big brother. And to address you being worried about taking care of a baby and chasing your son? It doesn't matter what age they are, there will always be someone to chase. Just make sure your house is good and baby-proofed and if he makes a mess, he makes a mess. Trust me, your house will never stay clean again. Good luck with everything!

K.

Been there, done that twice! My 1st 2 are 20 months apart and my 2nd and 3rd child are 18 months apart. It isn't as difficult as you would think. It is and it isn't. You have got to be sure to be on a strict routine because everyone feels more comfy and works better on a strict routine. That being said my method of introduction of new baby was to make sure my child did not first see me with baby in arms. I had the baby taken to the nursery and let my children go with me to get the baby. This way I had time to greet them 1st and both times my children came not even interested in me but wondering where there baby brother or sister was at. As soon as we got the baby from the nursery we went back to my room and I got the baby and let them hold her. Touch is very important. Your child will have an interest in this new baby and will want to learn about him/her and want to touch too. Showing him how to be gentle with the baby will benefit rather than teaching me he can't touch. I haven't yet had the experience of introducing a baby to a daughter. Both times I introduced a new baby to my boys...I have 2 boys and a girl. Because of the way I handled it, my boys just accepted the new baby as a new member. There was no jealousy. I would play with my kids and give them some undivided attention prior to nursing the baby. Then when I would nurse the baby my kids would come close to stroke the baby's head gently and then play something quietly. I too was concerned about having my older kids running around while I nursed but it honestly was not a problem. Just keep a routine that is strict and be consistent. If you feed the baby on a strict routine deciding that you will feed every 3 hrs from day 1 and slowly spread that out accordingly as needed with in the 1st month you will see sleep patterns establish and this will make life easier with 2 kids. You can then plan your day around your scheduled feedings, there is no guessing when the baby is hungry because the baby will not cry of hunger and you can easily determine when you need to spend time with your son. Don't stress about it. You can and will do it. I think you will do just fine to adapt to your situation and figure out what works best for you. You did it for your son! I won't lie, it does get stressful at times. I don't have any experience to compare it to in order to know it could be easier or harder, but I do know that it really is more challenging once they begin playing together and the younger one starts exerting independence. When baby starts realizing that s/he wants the toys big brother has, they will squabble over it. One of the biggest helps was teaching my oldest son to find a toy he knew the baby would love and ask him to trade. My middle son loved balls so basically any toy he had that my older son wanted could easily be traded for a ball. That worked for a long time. Good luck!

B. :)

my son was 19 mo. when my 2nd was born. I was scared,but it wasnt so bad. My oldest didnt seem to care at all. Now they always have someone else to play with at home and are friends. In May I'm having my 3rd and will have 3 with the oldest 3, I'm back to being a little scared. I didnt think I would ever get to leave the house or do anything with 2 so young, but it all worked out pretty good. Now how do you do it with 3?

Hey J.,
I just have advice about the breastfeeding part. Make that a special time for you and your son. Tell him that it is story time and to choose a book. Then while you are nursing, read to him or color or something. That will make it "his" special time in his mind
HTH
K.

J.,
I have four daughters and the first three are almost exactly 2 years apart. And I nursed all of my kids for a full year. With the first two I was a single mom. There is nothing you can do about them feeling a little left out, thats natural. The best advice I can give to you is the same I got frrom my mom...get the older sibling as involved as possible. I would have her go fetch diapers for me and help throw away the dirty ones. I called the baby "her baby". There will still be jelousy of course, but the more they are focused on helping, the less it will be. I hope I have helped. It's what I always do. I am going through the same thing right now actually. I have a 21 month old right now and I am pregnant with twins due at the end of June. I will be breastfeeding 24/7!!

Hi J....
First of all congrats on the little princess coming into your lives. It's great to have one of each :)

My son was 19 months when I had his little sister last September so I know EXACTLY what you are feeling. I was very nervous, especially toward the end of my 2nd pregnancy, about how things were going to play out. As it turned out, everything is just fine. Of course, it is a bit more of a challenge juggling two in diapers but all in all it has been okay. My boy sleeps in another room so her crying doesn't affect him - I don't know what your situation is though. At first my son was extremely curious and gentle with her but nowadays he is getting a little more assertive in his approach. I have to keep an eye on them together so he doesn't poke at her eyes to "let me know where they are". I just found out two weeks ago that we are having yet another baby this Sept. That'll make three in three years and I am once again concerned about how that will change the family dynamics. But we just have to remember that God won't give us more than we can handle. You can do this. Just enjoy it and don't worry as that will make things more uptight. Hope this helps.

S.

I am a mother of 2 girls 15 months apart. They are now 2 1/2 and 18 months. Not to discourage you, but I tried nursing my second as I did my first..but it seemed every time I got settled in to nurse the first was climbing up on the table or doing something that I had to get up and take care of. I pumped more than I nursed. As far as "jelaousy" after the baby comes home, I didn't experience that for too long. My older daughter was a little put off but I would ask for her help, like getting me a diaper or let her hand me the wipes, I would let her hold the baby's bottle, I tried not making a big deal. The baby slept in my room in a bassinet, so the crying never woke our oldest. This is just my experience... They get along pretty good these days...Best of luck to you

My boys are 20 months apart and I am so glad I had them close together. Breastfeeding was not a problem. There were even times that when the baby was crying his brother would tell me to nurse him. You will adjust and find out what works for you. It is amazing how much time of you day can be spent changing diapers!

My daughters are 17 months apart and this baby will be 20 months younger than my 2nd. So as you can see I will have my hands full. But, having 2 kids that young was not that bad for me. I had a lot of help from my husband, my mom, and some other family and that helped a lot. Plus, my oldest is a little advanced for her age so she thought it was a fun game we were playing with having a new baby around. So she was really helpful. Now as they are older (3 and 1 1/2) they fight over toys and things but they are really close and good friends. Best of luck to you! Just make sure you include your other child in with the baby, let him help change diapers, and bath time, and things like that. It will work out good!

My daughter was 23 months when I had my son. That is a little bit older then what your son would be. I was terrified like you are about how things were going to work out. It actually wasn't as bad as what I thought. Some good advice that we got was to include our daughter when we were taking care of the baby. We let her "help" with changing and feeding. She still gets a big kick out of feeding him. My husband and I make a special effort to make her feel like she's included and play with her a lot. We put the baby in the swing a lot so we can spend time with our daughter. Plus babies sleep a lot when their first born anyway so we used that time to make her feel speical too. It leaves you very tired but in the end it is well worth it. Good luck with your pregnancy, I hope everything turns out okay.

B.

Hi J.,
I really understand your fears! I have 2 little ones under 2, a boy and a little girl also. I was very worried about nursing my daughter and my son being jealous. I must admit he fell in love with his sister at the hospital and wants to help with all the things I do for her. He was not very happy when I nursed his sister however and hit her everytime I nursed for about a week. My suggestion is to tell your son what a big boy he is and how he is such a good helper, involve him in everything! My daughter is now 4 1/2 months old and when I nurse her my son says, "Anna eat num num" and then he tries to put my breast in her mouth. The whole 2 under 2 thing is difficult but once you get a routine it will be wonderful!
K.

J.,
I COMPLETLY understand what you are going through. I have 3 under the age of 3. My oldest was born April 5th, 2005 and the twins were born on June 29th, 2007. I will not lie, it is very hard to do. I was going to nurse the twins, but they were in the hospital for 12 days after birth due to being born at 36 weeks and breathing issues, so I pumped and took it up to them. Because of their breathing problems they wouldn't let me nurse them. Then when the twins came home, my oldest was trying to help me pump, and that didn't work. So in a reality, I was trying to nurse,pump,and supplement and take care of a 2 yr old and I didn't have the luxury of all that. So I ended up putting the babies on formula. I know, it can be done to nurse, but it was to much for me to have to do.
Up until about 2 months ago, my 2 yr old wanted nothing to do with his brothers. He was very jealous of them and everytime you like asked him to give the babies a kiss, he would tell us that "he cant want it" or "NO." But since they are jaboring now and playing with toys, he trys to play with them.
I was very concerned that my 2 yr old would wake up if the babies were crying and still to this day, he sleeps through them crying. Granted they started sleeping through the night at 9 weeks, but for the time the came home til they were 9 weeks and was always afraid that I would have all of them up crying in the middle of the night, and I never did.
My husband is never around, due to being a store manager so anytime I go anywhere 9 times out of 10, I have to take all 3. So like going to wal-mart, I have to push a double stroller and a cart at the same time. I have had to learn to adjust, but my number 1 advice is make sure you take time to spend time with the older one. We found out the hard way when the oldest started majorly acting out.
Any other other questions, just let me know

Hi J. my name is M.. I am a mother of four. My last three I had in three years. Elsa just turned 4 Maddox will be 3 in July and Delia is just about to turn 1 on Feb 22.
First let me say don't stress. Every mother finds their way eventually. Whether it is your first or your fourth. Your son may be a little scared or stand offish at first but he will soon fall into the rhythm. My best pieces of advice incorporate your son as much as possible. Ask him to do simple things for you like " Can you get mommy a diaper for the baby" Things like that my daughter Elsa become a major help when I had my son. They are 19 months apart. Also remember any time you can spend with your son one on one will help a great deal. I think my kids biggest problems in the beginning was that they didn't feel like mommy had time for them any more. With each one of my kids I started small traditions that I could do with just them.
As for the crying my two youngest who are closer to 22 months apart shared a room when my daughter was born and my son never seemed to even know she was crying or even in the room. Small children don't really pay a whole lot of attention to that kind of stuff.
And toting them around I would suggest taking it one trip at a time. Starting with a very short one that isn't far from home. If your son is able have him hold your hand in the parking lots while you care the new baby. Or try to park next to cart rails where you can simple get out of the car and grab a cart with out having to pull the kids out. I take all four of my kids to the store sometimes and I'm not going to lie it can be extremely difficult. But like I said you will fall into a groove that works for you with baby number two you found one with your first child. And just remember if you ever feel overwhelmed just breathe. You can do it.

Good luck and if I can ever do anything for you just let me know.

M.
____@____.com

Hi J.! I completely feel your pain! I gave birth to our son Landon on 12/1/06 when our daughter Graccie was only 16 months old. The first week was rough because she didn't understand why we had to give him so much attention. But no worries-it gets MUCH better. Landon is 2 months old now and Gracie absolutely adores him and sometimes just completely ignores him. The best is when she tells him "yuv u bubby." It's really much easier than I thought! About getting out with 2 small kids-well, I still haven't quite mastered that! Daddy works on Sundays so getting both of them to church is quite a workout!! I am still trying to figure that one out. I nurse Landon so when Gracie needs attention while I am nursing I usually have her bring me a book and sit next to me while I read to her and nurse him. There is the occassional tantrum when I can't meet her immediate needs but we work through them. I do know that I wouldn't have made it through the first 2 weeks without help from family and friends. The best advice I can give you is enlist help for the first couple of weeks before the baby comes. Oh, and now that Landon is 2 months old 1 night a week I make it mommy and Gracie night so she doesn't feel pushed to the side. We enrolled in a mommy and me gymnastics class and she loves it!! Feel free to message me if you need to talk!

hello J.,
I am a mother of 2 baby girls 10 1/2 months apart...unplanned. I was absolutly terrified!!!! My youngest is almost 10 months old now and it has gotten a heck of alot easier. I did breast feed and was worried about the same things. I keept the area small so I could see and interact with the oldest while I was feeding. Every child is different but I had no problems with the other feeling left out. Leaving the house with two is challenging at first but if you are like me and hate being stuck in the house too long you will get use to it real quick. You will have your hands full but I would not do it any different. They are allready so close and play together all the time. Good luck!

Hi J. -

I have two children 14 months apart. When my son was born, my daughter had some jealousy, but it passed and they are now 2 and 3 and very good friends. I completely understand your apprehension - I felt all of those feelings, too. It seems a very daunting task, but it is not as bad as you might think. As far as toting them around, sometimes my daughter had to walk when she didn't want to, and sometimes my son had to wait a few minutes while I dealt with my daughter. They learned to take turns. You will have to get used to taking TWICE as long to get in and out of the car, though! LOL. Initially, of course, the baby comes first, and this is where Daddy can really help. While the baby is being tended to, let Daddy distract the older one. Or, if Daddy isn't home, let the older one sit with you while you feed the baby. As long as they feel included, they seem to adjust fine.

My daughter was rarely, if ever, awakened by my son's night-time crying, and when she did hear him cry, she just woke up for a few minutes and went back to bed.

It isn't easy, but it is not impossible - TRUST me. We didn't plan ours this way, so we were in total shock, but now I can tell you I wouldn't have it any other way. People used to stare at me and I wish I had a dollar for everytime someone said "Wow you sure have your hands full" or "Did you plan this?"

You will be fine - please feel free to e-mail me with any questions you have - I don't mind talking about anything if it helps you ease your fears. Congratulations!!!

C.

J.,
My oldest son was 17 months old when his little brother was born last year. It was not as hard as I thought it would be. Zander (my oldest) was great withe baby and adjusted just fine. Of course, he still got a ton of attention from everybody and he did get jealous a few times when people would make a fuss over the baby. But overall he did great. He would even help out by getting the baby's bottle or pacifier. As long as he still got some Mommy and Daddy attention, he was okay. The hardest part for me was getting up in the middle of the night to feed Connor and then not getting a whole lot of naptime during the day because Zander was always up running around. But we survived. The first few weeks can be a tough adjustement period though. By the time I returned to work at about 8 weeks, things were getting back to "normal". And now the boys are best friends and I love having them so close together.

Hi, J.. I'm a 26 yr old mother of two. My oldest was 19 months old when my youngest was born, and to add to the situation, I'm a single mom. When I was pregnant, my mom told me that taking care of 2 isn't much different than taking care of 1 and, ya know, she was right. The nighttime crying wasn't really an issue for us, because my youngest would sleep either next to me in bed, or next to the bed in a bassinet, so I don't have much advice there except that your son will learn to sleep through it the same way that people in the city learn to sleep in spite of the sounds of traffic and other noise. When it came to nursing, I preferred the position where I laid on my side and placed her beside me. I would just tell my oldest that I needed to feed her sister and go into my bedroom. I would give big sister a snack and let her watch a quick cartoon while I nursed. After nursing, the baby would doze off and I could go spend quality time with her sister. When it comes to going out, just get a double stroller. As your oldest gets more independent, you can switch to an umbrella stroller & let him push. He'll love feeling "big" and it'll give your back a break. Also, kids this age LOVE to feel big and to help, so let your son help with anything he can. This may help prevent him from feeling bad that he's not the baby. Give him this new, more exciting role to play. Chances are, he'll love it more than he ever liked being the baby. Once you introduce a bottle, let him help feed his sister. My oldest daughter loved being in charge of handing me wet wipes when it was diaper time. And, now that they're a little older (2 & 4), they're best friends. They share everything together and look out for each other. My oldest is even helping me potty-train my youngest! It's truly a blessing, having two kids so close in age. It can be a challenge sometimes, but in the end it's worth it. They'll always have a best friend and you won't have to worry about forgetting how to potty train, for example, when it's time to do it again! :) Good luck and enjoy your pregnancy!
-N.

Hi J.,

I understand I have 2 that are 16 months apart. Let me tell you though it has been a blessing. They are now 10 and 9. They are the best of friends and kind of run their own little world. They do everything together. They support each other and take care of each other. (I am starting to worry about their someday spouses, they rely on each other so much).

When we brought our son home, we had a 7 year old a 16 month old and our niece 12 months with us most of the time. It was completely crazy around the house. We both work, our oldest was very active with school, but by the grace of god it just worked. It was truly one of the greates times in our lives. All of the kids were just very happy.

Hang in there. You'll be to busy to worry soon, and in a few years you'll look back fondly on the chaos.

Hi there! I just had three kids under 3! It is pretty difficult with the 3 kids going places...but what I would GIVE to have just the two. (I do not by any means wish I didn't have my daugheter but it was much easier before she was born) You will get used to it very quickly. Once you get your little routine going everything will fall into place. I wouldn't worry about it much now. You can't change what is in your future, you can only go with it. I dont know what else to tell you except for just relax. It wont be as hard as you think. You will catch the hang of things :)

J. you are going to be just fine. I have three children under the age of six, two of which are 10 months and two days apart. They are now 6, 1year 9months and the other is 21/2 years old. I was so scared at first I had no idea what I was going to do, but then I reminded myself that people have twins all the time. You just have to really gain a routine that works for everyone, trial and error, and stick with it. Make sure you make time to sit back and enjoy the bond and time you share with each one of them because it goes by so fast. Your oldest child will adjust fine as long as you make him a little helper. Remind him he is just as loved as before and make special time with both children. You have to remember that Evan has a tough job ahead of him too, to be a great helper and an awesome BIG BROTHER. Celebrate everyones roles in the birth of your new baby. Congrats on life and remember you are a GREAT MOTHER!!! I am pleased to say that my husband and I are trying for baby number four. Crazy and I NEVER thought I would get passed the two that were born back to back.

i dont have 2 under 2 yrs old but i do have a 2 yr old and a 2 month old. i too was worried that my newborn would wake my 2 yr old up...never once has. i had the same fears you did...i cried and cried because i thought my 2 yr old was going to hate me and i felt like i was kinda turning my back on him. but once my lil guy came...i noticed i was uptight and stressing over nothing. my 2 yr old loves his new baby brother...he helps me feed him and burp him and change his diapers and everything...he loves to talk to him and try to calm him down when he is crying. but what i did to help that was before my 2nd one was born...i would watch my friends new born over night a few times until my 2 yr old go used to a baby being in the house...that way it wasnt such a shock to him when his baby brother came. i also took my 2 yr old to the hospital with me..he watched them hook me up and everything and then when it was time to get serious...hard contractions and so on...he went to stay at grandmas for the night and came back the next morning after i had my baby...he whined a little bit because he didnt know what was going on...more like a "my poor mommy...what is happening to her and what is going on" kind of whine...he was scared. but it didnt last long. also before i had his brother i would make sure he knew that i had a life growing inside of me...i would point to my belly and say this is brother mason...and i would have him feel him move and stuff...he would put his ear to my stomach and talk to him and he would kiss my belly and i would also encourage love...i would tell him...tell baby brother you love him and you cant wait to see him...so on and so forth...but as far as nursing and chasing your oldest around...wheather your nursing or using a bottle...its gonna take some getting used to...i tried breast feeding with both and couldnt do it...but i just let my oldest do what he wants...with in reason of course...while i feed baby brother. i will put in a movie or cartoon or give him something that keeps his interest...try to get him to sit down next to you and envolve him in the feeding as much as possible. maybe read him a book while feeding baby sister...that way you will actually be reading to both kids. you just have to be creative and do what you can...its kinda tricky at first but something will come to you and you will be like duh...why didnt i think of this at first and then it will stick. good luck and its not as hard as you are thinking...trust me! i just went through this and i stressed for nothing!!!!! please keep me updated on things :) need any other advice on this i would love to help!!

My two boys are also 17months apart. Because the oldest one was still under 2 he didn't really understand when i brought home the new baby but even more so he wasn't interested. He really could have cared less. I was also very concerned about nursing while the otherone was running around and i decided that i would always make sure he was busy before i started to nurse. Put a new cartoon on, have him eating lunch, coloring...anything that i knew would keep him still for a couple of minutes. There were times that i would have to nurse one with the otherone on my lap but it all works out. I run a fan between their bedrooms to create some noise so that each of their cries doesn't wake the other. It is a big adventure to take both of them out of the house, but it can be done. My lifesaver is my double stroller. I love that thing and it made it possible for me to get out of the house and be able to push both of them around. Good luck to you, it is alot of work to have two little ones.

I have been in your situation before, my daughter was 15 months when my son was brought home. So here is my suggestions, I would expect to have your son to ack out, just like its a change for you, it will be a change for him. What i did with my daughter was try my best to show her individual attention and have my husband keep an eye on my son. To be honest when i came to my daughter i had to just let things flow intil she got use to him, now she loves her bobo very much, and sees him as part of the family.
When it comes to having both babies out and about, as long as you are not getting lots of food (thinking grociery shopping here) i would get a cart, but your son in the seat part and the baby in the big cart. If you have someone with you, then get two carts! If you don't have acess to a shopping cart, try a stroller (double) or a stroller and a baby sling. You could also just hold the baby in her carrier and then let your toddler walk. (done this many times its exhausting but if you have to get some were it works).
And my best suggestion on the sleeping is, to maybe put the baby in your room intil she sleeps though the night!
I wish you luck, its a lot of work but its well worth it, my kids are very close, and the love they have for me and their daddy and each other is priceless!
J.

J.-

I have 2 under 2. My son is now 25 months and his sister is 5 months. So I'm still trying to get through it. Me being in the hospital was hard for my son becuase he was only 19 months and couldn't really understand what was going on. The hardest part was not being able to pick him up for several weeks, something I didn't even think about. So you learn to squat down alot, or sit and let your oldest sit in your lap. I can tell you there was no jealousy. My son didn't really seem to interested in the new baby, and continued on as usual. He likeds to try and make her laugh now, and I really don't believe he remembers what it was like without her being around. As far as balancing your time between the two, buy or rent a good dual breast pump if you plan on breast feeding, then pump whenever the oldest one is asleep and feed from bottles. Your babies will learn what patience means.

Good luck

R.

I had my daughter 14 months after my son. I honestly cannot remember much about her first few months, probably because I was so sleep-deprived I was in a zombie-like state! :) Really though, I don't remember things being absolutely horrible or chaotic. I also was worried about my son waking up during the night or naptime when the baby cried, and he did! But he quickly got used to it and he is now a better sleeper because of it because he was forced to make himself fall back asleep on his own. (I couldn't go get him often b/c I was nursing or changing messy diaper on the crying newborn). I do remember trying very early on to get some sort of nap schedule where they'd be sleeping at the same time. It took a couple months but they finally did it!

Make sure you've got an infant carrier (Snugli) for the little one so you can have your hands free for the older one. My son was just the right age to "drive" car in front of the shopping cart while my daughter was in her carrier inside the shopping basket. I just packed groceries in wherever I could find a space! And a double stroller is a must. We started with a front-to-back, but as soon as my daughter was big enough and out of her infant carrier we switched to the Jeep side-by-side b/c it weighs MUCH less and is easier to lug around! Although, neither one seems to be more beneficial than the other when it comes to weaving in and out of clothing racks at the mall! :) I'd recommend getting these secondhand-check stores like Children's Orchard or Once Upon a Child, or even Ebay. You'll save so much money.
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy! Get as much rest as possible, I do remember taking naps with my son towards the end. It was great to have that last little bit of one-on-one time with him and cuddle before sissy came along :)