Hassle-free Ways to Wean a Toddler from Breastfeeding?

Updated on February 11, 2008
A.S. asks from Houston, TX
14 answers

I have a 14 month old daughter still actively nursing and I would like to wean her but I don't know how to go about it. She will not go to sleep without nursing at night, even if she ate all the food in the world. The good thing is she can and does eat very well almost everything. One night last week, I wanted to test it out, but she refused to go to sleep and cried for over 2 hours and I finally caved in because I was scared the neighbors might call the cops since she was crying out loudly in her crib.

Someone said there are some stuff you can rub on the nipples and the taste will scare her off. Please help !!!

PS: the nursing is not what bothers me really, it's the fact that neither her nor myself get enough sleep during the night. she wakes up on average about 3 times during the night crying for "bobby", she actually has a name for it.

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K.R.

answers from Houston on

How do I get Off this website? My children are way beyond this age and beyong. If you know please advise.

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M.B.

answers from Dallas on

Given what a wonderful tool nursing is for getting your daughter to sleep, why are you wanting to wean? For most babies, the bedtime feeding is the last to go. I breastfed for a very long time as I read about the value of extended nursing for both the baby (improved immunity, etc.) and mother (reduced breast cancer risks, etc.) However, when my son was over two, I found that the nursing no longer got him to sleep and he wanted to read afterwards, so I just dropped the nighttime nursing and he would read and go to sleep. But, I think your daughter is a bit too young for that one to work yet. Also, you mention you work outside the home, so the bedtime nursing may be your daughter's way of reconnecting with you after not being with you all day. I also worked outside the home when my son was that age and we both valued the nursing for that reason. It really made him feel that all was right with the world and it was a great way to reconnect at the end of the day. I would really hate to "scare" her off nursing given that it likely is the activity that has provided her with the most comfort and sense of well being in her life, so far. She may associate that "bad taste" with you and not just your nipples. You might want to check out the book "Mothering your nursing Toddler". It made me look at nursing beyond age 1 in a whole different light, as breastfeeding is far more than just nutrition for your child.

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J.C.

answers from Dallas on

I went through something very similar with mine......it's important to realize that this is an emotional thing as well as nutritional. I nursed both of my children until they were about 14-15 months; my daughter adjusted pretty well to the transition. My son, on the other hand, is now 8 years old and would probably still be nursing if I let him......LOL! When I weaned them, I would replace the nursing by holding them, singing to the, etc. My son was resistant so this took some cooperation from my husband as well. He would help to comfort him because it was frustrating for him when I would rock him sometimes.

It develops additional coping skills for them when you use alternative methods to comfort them. It's a personal decision. Some people don't nurse at all, some for a day, a week, a year (way to go!), some for 5 years. We all know what we're comfortable with and I always promote doing what is healthiest for you and your baby, mentally and physically. Mine were close to 1 1/2 years. Some say that this was not long enough, others have said that it's way too long. You know when you're ready.

I never tried bitter cream. It might work.........but remember to work on coping skills for her. It's more about that right now than anything.

Good luck!

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L.F.

answers from Austin on

Your daughter's routine sounds normal.. You should be glad you have something that calms her when she's upset, and soothes her to sleep.
Why do you want to lose that now?
I recommend reading up on weaning toddlers gradually... Sudden weaning, esp. at this age, makes a child feel rejected and it's a great emotional loss to them.
If you're really wanting to give this up (BTW: the World Health Organization recommends nursing until 2-years-old)... you need to do it gradually and with kindness and understanding. Not poison tasting nipples and letting her cry it out!

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D.S.

answers from Dallas on

I totally agree with the other mamas, definitely continue on if you can, its beneficial to you both! (Physically and emotionally)

Take a look at this site, maybe it will give you some pointers.
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/weaning-night.html

It sounds like she sleeps separately from ya'll, night nursing would probably be much less of a hassle if she slept in the same bed with ya'll, but at this age, you might not really want to bring her into your bed, she could look at it as playtime.

Have you tried giving her a sippy cup with water at night instead of nursing? When she cries out in the night, tell her that she can't have nursies again until the sun comes up (she is still a little bit young for this concept, but still worth a try!) and offer her a cup or bottle with water instead.

Good luck mama! Let us know what happens!

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E.C.

answers from Houston on

There is the stuff for preventing thumb sucking, you can buy it in baby needs section in Walgreens/CVS. It's an itcy-bitcy bottle with a brush inside, like the one for nail polishing. I had to brush it on my nipples only twice and my then 18 mo baby girl was weaned just like that :) I was very happy to do it cause she was nursing all through the night and I had to sleep in a very uncomfortable position basically not getting any more or less satisfying rest. As she quit, I had WAY more energy to play with her during the day and could finaly establish a night-time routine. By any means there was no stess for my baby and we are still as close to each other as one can imagine.

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L.S.

answers from Sherman on

Read "The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems" or "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" by Tracy Hogg. It'll solve allll your sleep problems!

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A.C.

answers from Austin on

I agree with Mary B... don't quit if you don't have to. I'm still nursing my 28 month old and don't plan on quitting for a while. I remember feeling like my friends and family tried to push me to quit, but it really doesn't last long when you consider how fast they grow up!!

A.

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E.

answers from Dallas on

My son was about 15 months when he just decided to stop asking to nurse. He drank milk from a cup with the other feedings and the nighttime one was the last one. He wasn't doing it because he was hungry, just for comfort. I thought for sure he would keep nursing and it didn't bother me how long he wanted to continue but one night he didn't ask, which means he didn't pull up my shirt. He did ask again the next night, but eventually over about 2 weeks he stopped asking completely. At night, I would sit in our chair with a book and if he wanted to nurse that was fine and then I would read to him and put him to bed. Soon, we were just reading and then going to bed. If you want to try to stop nursing faster, I would recommend to avoid all the chairs you would normally nurse in and try to find a new routine that you can do at night to spend time with your daughter, but not where she sits on your lap in a chair, maybe try laying on the floor and reading. Another thing to try is asking your husband to put her to bed. My husband and I alternate reading and putting our kids to bed.

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K.

answers from Killeen on

i have to agree with what has been said so far....my daughter will be 3 in march and we just stopped about 3 weeks ago when i had my gallbladder out. the surgeon told me i couldn't nurse for a few days due to the anesthesia still lingering in my body. after the 1st night it wasn't so bad trying to get her to sleep without her "yummies". she just quit asking me after the 2nd or 3rd night.

i, too, have a full-time job and i really really cherished that time with her in the evenings. until my daughter was about 18 months old she would wake up a couple of times at night asking to nurse. she eventually grew out of it. i wanted to sleep so desperately but i knew i would eventally get to sleep all night.

given that you get to breastfeed for such a relatively short time in a child's life, it's lovely that you have been able to do it for an extended time. would you consider going a little longer, until she is ready to give it up? just a thought.

if you really really want to be done with nursing, i agree that you have to alter your bedtime routine. change it up so that she is not expecting the breast when you sit in her special chair or in that spot on the couch that she likes, or whatever.

good luck!

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G.C.

answers from Odessa on

Oh my we are in the same position. My son also still wants to feed at night and not only that he sleeps with me. Is your daughter really attached to you my son cries alot for me as soon as i walk away or going to stand up.I cant do nothing with him not crying so i have a hard time finding a babysitter so i can run some errands sometimes and if i do it is for about 2 hours.
If you find a solution please let me know

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H.W.

answers from San Antonio on

ha! the wonderful world of getting a breastfed baby to sleep through the night. my austin is 17 months old and still nursing. i was in the same predicament you are in, and with baby number four on the way coming in just 4 months, i ha dto take care of that problem. now i know some people are fine with letting them cry a few nights and get over it, which i did do with our second baby, but i was not comfortable at all with that this time around (it just didnt seem right when i allowed him to night nurse for so long and therefor kind of caused the problem, i know at about 6 months of age or so baby's body does not physically need to nurse at night, i could have trained him them to sleep though the night). so what we did and it works quite well, my husband now gets up with him if he gets up at night, he knows he cannot nurse from dad and will not throw a fit like he would if i try to put him back to sleep. he now will usually sleep until 6 am, which i will then nurse him because he's not gonna go back to sleep anyway! of course you have to have a huubby that is willing to get up with baby at night for about 2 weeks, and it has to be consistently him every time or it will prolong it for you and baby-not to mention confuse baby.
for a little humor- you could get pregnant again! when i was 20 weeks pregnant with my son my milk dried up and so my daughter had to stop! that was the easiest thing! she never even cried!she just realized it was gone and didnt ask again! of course now i am 20 weeks with this one and my milk has not dried up yet.
or you could go away for a couple days. i am going to a womens conferance for 3 days next month, so if he is still nursing then that will probably do the trick! he doesnt cry for it or ask for it when i am not around, so i figure if i leave for a few days he will be fine and my milk will then dry up! if it hasnt already.......
well, let us know how it goes!

i must add after reading others comments-
1-much much kudos to you mamas who work and can keep up nursing! it's great when a mom realizes that going to work does not mean you have to give up nursing!
2-i do love extended nursing too but i do NOT want to nurse two at a time. kudos to you mamas who can do that too.
3-i do agree with wha tsomeone said about not doing it abruptly, you spent all this time making that special bond, and you dont wan tto sever it or startle baby by taking it suddenly away from her. it just doesnt seem right to do that.
4-getting rid of nursing througout the night does not mean you have to get rid of your nighttime nursing. i do still nurse austin every night before he goes to bed, on our couch. then daddy takes him off to put him to bed, so he does not associate the nursing with eating all night! what we have done with my hubby gettign up with him has worked very quite well, but i cant repeat it enough, it has got to be so very consistent every night or it will absolutely not work!
God Bless~

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D.B.

answers from Austin on

I used just a dab of lemon juice on the nipple and my daughter went, "yucky" and then the next time I offered it again later and she said that is yucky. Now she was 2 at the time and did not nurse at nighttime. She also has a blanky that is her security object so that eased the transition. Good luck!

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A.G.

answers from El Paso on

If you don't have a problem with the breastfeeding you could nurse her to sleep and when she wakes up in the morning and then have your hubby take over at night. Dr. Sears book Nighttime Parenting is really good. I think it is great that you re still breastfeeding!

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