There is this girl in my daughters Girl Scout troop that really annoys her. This girl is new and doesn't know anyone (not even my daughter really) but she has decided that her and my daughter are going to be "best friends". The only problem...My daughter can't stand her. Wherever my daughter is, this girl has to be. When my daughter gets up to move away, the girl gets up and follows her. She doesn't even want to go into the next level of Girl Scouts next year because my daughter won't be in that group yet.
I have told my daughter not to worry about it and kind of ignore it but I don't think she should have to. I want to tell this girl to "back off" a bit but from what I have seen, she is very sensitive and don't want to hurt her feelings. I'm concerned that if something is not done, my daughter won't want to go to Scouts anymore. I have tried to explain to my daughter that sometimes people need to be around others that they are comfortable with and that she should feel special that this girl wants to be around her but my daughter is having no part of it. I have told my daughter that she needs to tell this other girl how she feels but she is VERY shy and don't think she is comfortable with doing that. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you to those of you who had positive comments/suggestions about my situation. I think the idea of a party or get together outside of Scouts is a good idea. I have discussed the situation with my daughter and have found out a little more information as to why she feels the way she does but she has agreed to be the more mature one and see if she can work out something with this other girl.
I think the girl that is bugging your daughter sounds like she is not getting enough attention at home! I think perhaps your daughter should not fully not dis-include her but include others and then perhaps that girl will see perhaps that your daughter and others are including her and others and not caring who is including who!!
Is your daughter friends with other girls in the troop? If so, can she introduce the new girl to the other girls and sort of include her in bigger groups? If your daughter is willing to include her in groups of friends, I bet this little girl will not only find someone else she clicks with, but your little girl might come away feeling good that she was able to help her AND not be smothered by the little girl's need to simply not be alone. The best way I've found to help my girls figure out how to conduct themselves with others is to help them stand in the other person's shoes.
I think you should have a party and invite this girl and a bunch of other girls from the scout troop over. Make it lots of fun. Then the new girl might feel like she has other friends and wouldn't be so attached to your daughter. She's just having a hard time being new, but don't isolate her, cause she just needs some friends, but doesn't know how to make them. Also, once your daughter gets to know her better, she probably won't be as annoyed at her. Help the new girl out by helping her to know lots of girls. Everyone will benefit.
K., this sounds just like what my son is going through at school. He is in 5th grade,very athletic, tall for his age, and if you ask me too cute for his own good. (or mine for that matter!) I'd like to think I taught him good manners but when it comes to this little boy in his class I've told him to be nice, but firm when saying "Hey, back off!" This kid crys when he can't sit by my ds, always yells that the two of them will be partners when the teacher pairs them up, and DAILY comes to our house to see if my son can play. I finally had to have a talk with his mom, with my son along. I told her that my son doesn't want to hurt her sons feelings but that her son needs to leave him alone if he wants my son to continue liking him. SHe was greatful that we were honest and that my son didn't just hurt him at school. My feeling is this: teach your daughter to respect others, but we as parents can't force our kids to be friends with someone they just don't like. It will make their lives miserable. I look forward to reading the many responses I"m sure you will get on this one. Good luck.
Now is the perfect time to teach compassion. Your daughter should feel flattered not annoyed. Seriously. I mean don't you want the type of child that welcomes someone that is new and puts herself in the others shoes? I would.
I would explain to your daughter how it must feel when you are new and don't know anyone. Then have your daughter help the girl socialize with other girls to broaden her scope of friends. I wouldn't have your daughter tell the girl anything but encourage her to help the girl find new friends too. If it is just at Girl Scouts, then seriously, what that is two times a month? Just because someone annoys us isn't really good reasoning to get rid of them, maybe just help them meet new people and slowly and tactful break that tie.
Well, for starters, instead of saying that your daughter shouldn't have to "deal with it", maybe you should realize that your daughter should have to grow up and learn to be nice, and maybe once she quits trying to aviod the other girl and actually give her a chance, they might actually be best friends. I've been the new girl several times (I grew up in the Air Force), and I know it is REALLY hard to make new friends, and girl scouts should be a place where she doesn't have to worry about people not being friendly and accepting her.
