Getting an 8 Month Old to Fall Asleep by Herself.

I have a ninth month old and am dealing with the same thing myself. what we have been doing is implementing a routine every night at the same time. at 8:30 it is bath time, 9:00 is rocking chair and a dark room for 15 minutes. when i see his eyes getting droopy, i put him in his crib and he fusses for about 4 minutes and falls asleep. it is hard to hear him fuss but in the long run it is worth it. i learned this from the 3 year old that we have!!

I started trying to get my son to sleep by himself at 8 months too. I let him cry it out. I actually had to call a friend of mine most nights to talk to me and distract me so I didn't go in there and get him. The first 2 nights he cried for about 45 minutes, then each night got less. And it only lasted about a week.

Hi N.
I'm with the moms who say cry it out. I nurse my kids before bed, change them and swaddle them snug and let them go. If they are crying for more then 15 min I'll go back in and burp her or top her off in case she is still a little hungry. I have a 23 month old and a 7 week old and both slept through the night early on. My seven week old has been sleeping through the night since four weeks. She typically will cry for five minutes and she is out. I've also found that those musical light show toys that hang on the side of the crib help too. I lay them down sleepy hit the button and leave the room. They are usually asleep before the music stops. My oldest daughter used to wake up in the mornings and play with it which kept her occupied for a bit while I finished showering etc...
My oldest is still a good sleeper and never fights me on bed time which is nice ecspecially when you have company over and want to lay them down quick.
Good luck!

Every baby is different and every technique works for different children. I have a 16month old girl and I have never put her in her crib asleep. That is not a habit I wanted to start. She is a great sleeper, but every once in awhile she goes through a period that she gives me a hard time going to sleep and letting her cry it out works best for both of us. I highly recommend, Sleep Tight, Good Night book(Seen on Oprah). It is a gentle guide to getting your baby to sleep. It goes through every age and I absolutely swear by it. Hope this advice helped.

N., Listen to your instincts and your child. Examine your own beliefs to understand why you feel this is a 'bad habit' and your reasons for wanting to stop putting your baby to sleep this way. Try Elizabeth Pantley's website (or her book which someone mentioned already - 'No Cry Sleep Solution'). The 'cry it out' method never felt right to me and my 3 have been very different sleepers as they have very different personalities. I received plenty of unsolicited advice concerning our nighttime parenting strategies but my oldest son who nursed to sleep into toddlerhood and gently weaned out of our bed between 2 and 4 years old is a great sleeper now and was putting himself to sleep with a nighttime routine at 5. There is no truth to the 'theory' that babies 'need' to learn to sleep independently or the admonition that if they don't learn as babies they'll never sleep on their own. My other two actually did not fall asleep nursing, slept through the night very early and preferred their own space and we didn't do anything different in the beginning with them, they just had different needs. We are all different and our kids are also individuals so really see what works for you, your child, and your family and observe how your individual child responds.

HI N.! I am also first time Mom to an 8 month old girl, Emily. Not rubbing it in, but she is a great sleeper (except when sick and in growth spurts)---I would like to share what I did that worked from the start. It was a technique recommended by Tracy Hogg, Author of "The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems"...and other great books. She outlines ways to fix what she calls "accidental parenting" using her "Pick-up Put-down" technique. It may take some patience and challenging nights but it may help you. My husband and I used this technique from the start with Emily and she got the hang of it quickly. She goes to sleep right away at night and it only takes a minute to sooth her if she wakes herself up in the middle of the night (unless sick). At daycare they even put her in her crib sleepy but awake and she falls asleep on her own. Tracy's book also gives good guidance on setting the mood for sleep and learning what your daughter's sleep signals (identifying the "sleep window") are so you know when to begin your sleep rituals for naps. At night, it's all about "routine"---same time, same activities before bed.

The book I mentioned has wonderful advice for many issues concerning sleeping, eating, behavior all through toddlerhood too. I'll admit that I don't agree with ALL of what she claims but this particular technique worked well for us. Good luck to you and Congratulations on becoming a Mommy for the first time!

If you want to see more just google baby whisperer and you will find all kinds of info to start.

L.

Welcome to motherhood! Your dgt is missing the closeness that nursing provided. Trying holding her and rocking her in her room, warm and quiet for as long as you used to nurse. Slowly you can shorten the rocking time and maybe change to reading. Good luck!!!! L.

I did the same thing with my daughter. She slept with me for the first year and then I moved her into her crib. For about a week it was pure torture. I would go in make sure she was ok, come back out, go back in. When I realized that she was just fine and was only upset she was in there alone I had to fight myself to stay out of the room. I would go to a room in the house where I couldn't hear her, or turn the radio on loud enough that I couldn't hear her. In about a weeks time when she realized I wasn't going to get her out of the crib she wouldn't fight me anymore. She became a great sleeper, until I moved her into the toddler bed (LOL) So we are going through the same type of thing again, that will be your next hurdle ;) Good Luck!!!!! Don't feel guilty letting her cry it out. It is rewarding later!

I nursed my son for the full 12 months, and I nursed him to sleep, too. I never, ever let him cry out anything (except now I ignore tantrums until he's ready to engage again). My son sleeps like a champ, and he led his weaning the full way.

My suggestion is to determine why you need to get out of this habit: if you really think you need to, try holding her without nursing, and gradually working her up to lying down awake and drifting off to sleep. If this is just something you're looking into because of outside pressure or the fear that she'll never wean or go to sleep on her own, I think you're going to find that in the next couple of months she's going to have such a surge of independence that you'll miss being needed so much.

I had that trouble with my daughter, she was our first and I always nursed her to sleep. She started getting up too much at night and the doctor said she should probably be getting to sleep on her own. So one night we just let her cry herself to sleep. It was so hard for us. But honestly, from that night on she slept the whole night through and to this day (she just turned 3) has wonderful sleeping habits. The sooner you break that pattern the better you all will sleep, believe me! Just stay strong with those first couple nights!

Hi. The best book I ever read was "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child" I adapted some of the recommendations for our individual family b/c I was having problems with my now 37 month old. I, too, rocked, nursed/fed him to sleep. With my 2nd and 3rd, now 21 mos and 8 mos I followed the advice in this book and they put themselves to sleep. I just lay them in their cribs. Good Luck.

I am a mom of 3 year old twins. You should keep her awake while nursing before bedtime. Tickle her toes, nurse her whithout clothes, whatever it takes. She should be sleepy...you can put her down then. If not, then rock her and sing a lullaby. Then put her down. You should put her down while she's still semi-awake. Then if she cries, yes, I believe you should let her cry it out. THis is what I did with my twins. Perhaps having twins gives me a slightly "tougher skin" when it comes to this. My husband and I would go into our basement so we couldn't hear the crying. Within a week or so they would sleep through the night, for 14 hours!! Good Luck.

Listen to your instincts! :o)
That being said, I still nurse my 11 month old to sleep and I've learned over time not to let others make me feel guilty about it, it works well for us and I take comfort in that! (and I have a 2.5 year old who has no sleep issues whatsoever and I did the same with her at that age).
I know it's hard when you know they're tired and you just want a break. Hang in there!

I would only let her cry for about 10-15 min that is what I did with my daughter and it worked for me and after the 10-15 min if she does not settel down go in her bedroom and comfort her and than leave again and if she starts crying again I would let her cry for that same amout of time. And than go back in her bedroom and do the same thing. And if that does not work I would try and rock her to sleep or read her a book until she would fall asleep and then I would put her back down.

Hi N.,

I did this with my son too! At 8 months, she is still too young to understand why anything might be different. My son actually stopped nursing to sleep all on his own. I would sit down, nurse him and wait for him to fall asleep so I could put him in his bed, but he would sit up and point towards his crib. I think it happened at about the 12-13 month time frame. I wouldn't let her cry because she is too little to understand and she will just feel "abandoned" which may make her more clingy. I would suggest nursing her, but stopping before she falls asleep and then just cuddling until she is asleep. As you gradually break her of the need to nurse to sleep, you can gradually transision her into falling asleep in her own bed. It is a long process and won't happen over night - but it is worth it in the end. There is a great book called "The No Cry Sleep Solution" which you might want to get. It really helped us.

Good luck!
J.

A Mother's Boutique
Breastfeeding Clothing, nursing bras, breastpumps, slings and accessories.
Mamasource members receive 10% off their first order using promo code MAMASOURCE at checkout.

Do the good old fashion cry it out method! It really works, and it doesn't mean that you love her any less or that you are ignoring her. nurse her but do it at a time will she will not fall asleep. Then put her in her bed awake but sleepy and give her kisses and walk out the door. Let her cry for 5 minutes or so and then go back in and rub her back or pat her butt to get her to settle down and stop crying. Then leave the room again... this time for a longer length of time (like 10 minutes). Go back in and soothe her (but don't pick her up) and then walk back out. Keep letting her cry for a longer and longer period of time before going back in. Believe me it works. If you can't stand to hear her cry... take a shower or wash the dishes (assuming the kitchen is far enough away from her room) or turn up the T.V after a designated time turn on the monitor or listen at her door to see if she is crying.

www.momtomombiz.com

Nursing your baby to sleep is NOT a bad habit! It is simply one of the easiest tricks in the mothering toolbox. Why do you feel that your daughter needs to fall asleep on her own - especially at such a young age? Because some books say so? Because "everybody else's baby" does it? Listen to your heart and do what works for you.

Surely, she enjoys having that good chunk of time with you after you've been at work all day. (And I'm guessing YOU like having that special time w/ her too!) What better way to reconnect w/ the person you missed so much during the day. Eventually, she won't be so dependent on you and she WILL fall asleep on her own. But for now, there's nothing wrong w/ cherishing the time you spend nursing her...even if she does fall asleep through it. :)

I don't believe in letting a baby cry. Nursing is such a nice opportunity to have quality time with your baby, and you get to rest too after a long hard day -- what a comfort for both of you! Put on your favorite music and commune with your baby until she falls asleep. It will be a legacy she will take to her children :)
N

We had the same problem with my daughter - she had to be rocked to sleep even after I stopped nursing her. When the doctor told us at a year we had to stop giving her bottles we didn't know what to do! So we started to read books before bed. I started in the rocking chair and we would read for 20 minutes - did that for a few weeks, then we moved the rocking chair out of her room and sat on some pillows on the floor so she would get out of the habit of rocking. When we first started she didn't want to go to bed on her own and there were some nights that she cried for a long time, but we tried our best to let her go. Granted, it was hard, but within a couple of months she got the hang of it and now at the age of 6, she loves to read!

What I did with my oldest daughter was I put a pillow on my lap for her to fall asleep on. After a week or so, the pillow was next to me. I gradually moved it further away until she was on the other side of the room. Then, I moved it to her crib. I lived in an apartment at the time, so I couldn't let her cry late at night. And, I have to start doing this with my 11 m/o now because with 2 other children in the house, they'd use it as a reason to "help" so they don't have to go to bed on time. lol

Hi. I would say do a little reading on the subject. Although I wasn't able to brestfeed, I recently taught my seven month old that you fall asleep touching mama--stupid me. I know I'm in for it after months of good crib sleeping. But I was surprised recently to read that Dr. Ferber himself doesn't mean that you should literally leave the baby to cry for hours. Do like Super Nanny and stay away five minutes, then ten minutes, etc. And you make less contact each time. I think that no matter what happens you have to brace yourself, and the neighbors, for a few rough nights.
If you are going to try that kind of thing, don't do it unless you mean it. My cousin had to go outside and let her husband listen to the crying. I also just read that we are designed to be pained by that cry. It's in our wiring to need to respond.Ultimately a good thing, yes? But a dilemma right now for sure.
Good luck, and remember that it can't last forever. No matter how torturous it is!

Some people think crying it out is the way to go and some people think that's is horrible. I found a method (it's actually the one Super Nanny uses) that is a great combination of both worlds. How it works is you first establish a bedtime routine of a few minutes. Something like pajamas, brush teeth, read a story, sing a song, whatever you like to do and pick a consistent bedtime. After that seems to be working well and your child has caught on, you start the process. You put her to sleep by herself with all the normla good night stuff. Leave the room and when she starts to cry, go back in after 1 minute. Don't say much this time, just lay her back down and say it's bed time and leave again. This time, wait 2 minutes after she starts crying to ge back in. Don't say anything anymore, don't pick her up, just lay her back down or cover her back up. Next time wait 4 minutes, then 8 minutes, then 16. Keep doubling it as long as you have to. The idea is to let your child know that you hjaven't abandoned her, that you are there, but that she she must sleep by herself. The first night I did this with my 10 month old we got up to the 16 minute mark and I didn't think it was going to work. The next time was only 8. It kept getting better every time. We still used it through teething and all! Hope that helps!

I don't subscribe to the 'cry yourself to sleep' idea, nor do many pediatricians or the ever popular Dr. Sears. Like any habit, I'd suggest a shaping program where you nurse for shorter and shorter periods of time until you aren't nursing at all.

Good luck. I was in the same boat, in a sense. My daughter would fall asleep easily, but not stay asleep. I'm working on getting her to stay in her bed longer and longer. We're up to 6 hours. :0)

be patient and good luck.

N., I am the mother of two boys. 14 yrs old and 8 yrs old. I got my first son into the habit of not falling asleep by himself. Our pediatrician said all babies need to learn self soothing. So, as soon as he was falling asleep, I would put him into his crib (before he was asleep). We did do the 'let him cry' technique. Our pediatrician assured us we weren't doing emotional harm. Funny thing - he was right! He instructed us to allow the baby to cry as long as we could stand it, then go into his bedroom - don't touch him, pat his back - just calmly tell him everything is ok and leave again. Let him cry as long as we could stand it, repeat. He was putting himself to sleep by himself and sleeping through the night with 4 nights. Its hard, but it works and my 14 yr old is a fine young man today.

Hi N., I had the same situation when I breastfed my 4 year old. It was so trying but what I did worked. I would put him in his crib and put the night light on and sit on the floor facing away from him. I would not look at him at all. He would be screaming but I didn't give in. I did this for about 4 days. Each night I would move further away from his crib until I was eventually able to walk out of the room completely and he was still awake. He did cry slightly for a few short moments but ever since I was able to lay him down in his crib and he was able to fall asleep on his own! That was such a WONDERFUL moment. Good Luck. Be consistant with it!
A. P
www.greensthewaytobe.com