Ok, I'm hoping this is just normal behavior for a child this age, and if that's the case I'm looking for some moral support or encouragement. My son has become increasingly whiney and clingy, while also wanting more independence. He's 14 months old, and not quite walking, but pulling up and cruising around holding onto furniture. Part of the fussiness seems to be related to him trying to figure out how to speak and communicate, and also just needing more activities or change of scenery. So I try as best I can to get out of the house, either with errands or a walk or playing on the porch or taking a bath when it seems he's had enough of whatever he's doing. Sometimes I'll think well he's just tired, he'll be happy once he's napped. But it seems more and more that good mood doesn't last long enough after the naps! I hate feeling frustrated with him and often find myself being impatient when I know he can't really help it. It's not like he's trying to be a butthead! I would love some more activity ideas or ideas to help me have the right perspective and deal with my frustration better. Thanks!
This is a very normal stage. The best thing I can say is that it won't last. I found it so helpful to use a back carrier with my boys. I also used a wrap, but the back carrier was great for getting housework done. Being pregnant might make it harder for you. Anyway, just hang in there. Some day you will miss the days when he needed you so much. Also, you might like www.askdrsears.com It is pro-attachment parenting.
Hi M.,
I have a couple things of advice, first of all, I have never done the babywearing, I did for nine months and that was enough for me, lol.
Ok in my world of home child care children of all ages do much better when there is a set schedule, and I'm not saying that at exactly 6 pm you need to have dinner or whatever but just a daily routine and certain times of day that things happen no matter what. For instance here is our daily routine
8:00 am breakfast
10::00 am morning nap (for thr children that need it)
11:30 lunch time (for your son I would do it a half hour after he wakes up from his nap)
12:30 - 2:30 naptime for everyone
3:00 pm snack time
5 or 6 pm dinner
7:30- 8pm the the 3 B's BATH, BOTTLE(OR CUP OR NURSING),BED
So by 8:30 or 9:00 pm he would be in bed for the night.
Now in between these times you can do all kinds of things like music time a wooden spoon and a pot of any kind.
peek a boo with a blanket, stack cups with a grape under it and he has to find it, a rubber ball, outside looking at the trees and birds, taking a walk after breakfast but before his morning nap, or do your errand here if they won't take very long. This will help him alot he probably is bored and the day runs together. Also when you are trying to get him to communicate if you give him something to drink tell him "cup" and that it has "apple juice" in it, when you are doing things like getting him up in the morning tell him lets get dressed and what he is gonna wear, tell him what your plans are for the day like if you have errands to do. This will help you alot when your new child comes along also. Make the schedule to what fits your life not everyone eats at 8 in the morning. Hope this helps W.
I totally feel for you. This is my least favorite stage. I went through it with my first son and am now in the middle of it with my 2nd son. And I'll be there again in about a year with my 3rd son.
I always chalked it up to their frustration at not being able to communicate what they want. Hang in there!
Hi again, M.-
I totally agree that sign language can help with the fusiness due to communication barriers. A friend of mine bought me a CD and picture book as a baby present at www.communicationforkids.com, and I love it. My daughter is only 3 months old, and they recommend that you wait until they are at least 6 months, but I play it in the car and she loves it. In a few months, I will start introducing the signs to her and hopefully we'll take a class. The website also has activities to do with your child. It's something fun for you to do together, and it's a way for Aidan to let you know what he wants.
I hope that helps.
Yours in health-
Dr. Alyssa
I don't know a lot about baby wearing and attatchment parenting. But it seems to me that if he is used to you being there for every single moment of his day, guiding him, playing with him and seeing to his every whim, then he may be struggling between his desire to stay in that relationship and the desire to experience some freedom and new experiences. I've seen a lot of kids that are about a year older than him that are very grumpy because they are constantly vascilating between the desire for independence and the desire for being treated like a baby. A lot of kids can truly want the priveleges of becoming older and yet they want the priveleges of being the youngest of the family too. I believe this is all very normal. But as I said, I have not cared for any children that were raised with baby wearing methods. Is this similar to weaning a child off the breast? That's another thing I've not experienced.
I think you may have good success trying not to respond to him when he's being very emotional. He may be more confused if he senses that you are frustrated and if he's been that close to you he would be even more in tune with what you are thinking.
I'm sure that's easier said than done.
Is it also possible that he may still need a couple smaller naps during the day but he is moving towards just one longer one? It truly can be a difficult transitional age.
Suzi
Its probably that he can't communicate like he wants to. You can try sign language until he gets some words to communicate. Keep providing new scenery as much as possible. I have rotated toys, because at that age, they don't quite remember and think its new if you put some toys away and then bring them out even a couple days later.
With all the extra excersise he's probably a lot more tired and so are you. Practice extra patience. He'll out grow it.
I termed this time altitude withdrawl. He's used to being worn or being carried and now he's stuck at floor level. We made extra effort to stay low with our boys at this age. My husband would cook while I stayed in the floor, or we would nap while supper cooked in the oven or microwave. Cuddle naps were the greatest.
