My four-year-old daughter cannot give up her nightime diaper. This doesn't surprise me, since both my mother and I had to have diapers until we were five or six...we must have small bladders or sleep soundly or something. Anyhow, it gets more complex. Here are all the problems:
1) For a long, long time she would NOT poop on the potty. She will now, if she happens to have to go during the day, but most of the time, she goes in her Pull-Up in the morning before coming to get me.
2) If I rush in and get her prior to her pooping, she sometimes will hold her poop and then she will be unable to pass it without pain as it will grow too large.
3) If I sleep in with her, to head off the pooping, she will wake up at 3 in the morning all nervous and no one will get any sleep.
4) The last part of this complex question is this: when she eats milk or soy (we think, could be gluten, sigh, we don't really know) she has very loose stools, she goes in her Pull-Up and it spills out all over her room. The last two days we have awoken to poopscapades throughout the entire room...
I just can't take much more of this. Any thoughts, ideas, help for any of the aforementioned problems would be much appreciated.
Kiki
I so appreciate everyones' responses. To address them in general...we are not going to take away the diaper as my daughter is a highly sensitive child (HSC) and we honor her challenge...aka if she is doing this, we believe she has a good reason. Fear, to us, is a good reason.
She has a milk and soy "sensitivity" which doesn't show up on the traditional allergy testing. I don't know where this leaves us other than what we are doing (elimination diet). I also don't know if there are other things she is sensitive to which we are not catching...hence my thought about gluten.
Turns out that diapers are far more absorbent for poop than Pull-Ups. So, we have gone back to traditional diapers and no more messes (for now).
I welcome each response and the helpful advice I received. Thank you!
Well I think you are going to have to put up with a yukky mess for at least a week as I would suggest just taking the pull ups away. I would also suggest that you put her to bed at normal time - asking her to try to poop before going to bed and then at around 11 I would get her out of bed and put her on the potty to try again before you go to bed for the night. This is going to be really tough, but you will be so happy when it is done.
just wanted to give hugs as it sounds like this is a complex issue and probaly a little rough on everyone. the pee thing sounds completely normal from what i read from others at that age. my daughter was the opposite, she would have pee accidents in the day, but would wake up in the night to say she had to go, but she is a pretty light sleeper and wakes a few times so thats probaly why.
anyway, i def think you should take her to to a gastroentologist. i wouldnt discuss the problem in front of her but it does sound either like a medical(maybe not serious, maybe just has some or at least to rule out anything) or anxiety from it, maybe she had a rough times at some point and now has developed fear which in turn is this vicious cycle. also i saw your a little about me. my mother is bipolar but thankfully now in her 60s seems to being staying on course, at least ill hope. it was a very different story as a preteen. even if they arent present to see it or understand, it could have taken a toll on your children, or even just the complete absence of their dad. it may not be related at all, but she could have some misplaced anxiety over that. if nothing medical is found, just be aware of the possibility. no one understands how devastating mental illness can be until you live it. good luck to you!!!
don't worry about the hight time wetting my son was in 1st grade bedfore he stopped wetting and naturally did it himself, he was potty trained during the day by 2. I would be worrid about the pooping, I just took my son to a specialist, he told us to sit him on the toilet after every meal, we did a sticker chart. Buy Kondremul at CVS and put a little in his food in the am. We also gave him Miralax at dinner time in OJ. Also go to fiberjuice.com he has 1 juicebox a day. The Doctor also said to make sure he could rest his feet on a stool or something so he could feel comfortable sitting. It worked as my son now is more regular and doesn't hold. It did take a few months and we are due to go back to the doctor. Good luck
Your 4. caught my eye. My son had messy pull-ups up to age 5 and we finally had him tested for food allergies. He does have some gluten issues but he has severe milk and soy allergies, thus he could never getting to the potty in time.
My daughter, on the other hand, would hold her poop, would only go in her pull-up and only at home. Eventually we started a bathroom sticker chart for prizes and she could try going poop as many times as she wanted but only got a sticker for success. Plus we used those froggy kids bathroom wipes and foaming handsoap - Kandoo, I think. So she thought that was cool and special. She is now 5 and better at listening to her body. Good luck!
I had a similar issue with my son when he was three years old. The first thing I suggest you do is bring her to the doctor. The MD will give suggestions to help you and your daughter get through this dilemma.
My son had one episode of holding in his bowels until he no longer was(physically)able and when he finally did release, it was very painful. This only needs to occur once for the child to associate the connection of pain with a bowel movement. From that point foward, he continuosly held in his bowels (sometimes for a week). It became a vicious cycle which in turn lead to pooping in a pull-up during sleep. The MD made many suggestions to ease the trauma and I'm sure I tried them all. My son and I became very stressed and totally focused on his bowel movements, so I do have an idea of what you're experiencing. I don't know if this is your daughter's problem but it's just another suggestion. I would definitely address the poop issue first because it is very disruptive,whereas the pee issue can be addressed afterward.
My daughter was potty trained at 2yrs and never urinated in her bed until she was 4yrs. I found she was a very heavy sleeper and all I needed to do was put her on the toilet (while she was still asleep) at about 11pm. This seemed to work for her! After a few weeks she was waking at night to do it herself.
Maybe your daughter is also a heavy sleeper and is urinating and having a bowel movement while she is sleeping. I am not a doctor so I really do suggest you make an appointment to help you. I know how stressful it is and I do truly feel bad for you...been there done that! If it's any consolation, my son is now 11 and my daughter 10 and all of those issues are a distant memory! Hang in there...it can only get better:)
My son will not poop on the potty either - we tried to just take away the diapers and he did not poop for a week - went to the pediatrician and he said just wait it out - you don't want it to turn into a control thing. My neighbor went through this and waht she did was to have her son sit on the potty every day, at the appropriate time, whether or not he would go. With encouragement, he eventually overcame the fear and is now fine. I am going to devote the next two weeks to this, with bribery (a lego toy of we are successful) and will let you know the results.
If I were you, I'd get bigger diapers for her to wear at night so when she poops, it isnt a big mess for you. I wouldnt worry about making her stop doing this diaper poop thing. I think she'll grow out of it. You have a lot on your plate and i dont think you should let this stress you out.
You don't mention anything about getting her up right before you go to bed to sit on the toilet. I started my kids at age 2 getting up about 11.. I would pick them up... they are usually half asleep.. sit them on the bowl.. they woulg go 99% of the time.. and then put them back to bed. It's been a few years.. and now they get up on their own about the same time every night. You can try giving your daughter some prune juice early in the a.m. it might help her to change the time she goes... good luck...
My 4-year-old daughter has pooping issues like not going for a few days. She's just too busy to sit on the toilet. I give her children's acidophilous in her morning milk just to make sure she is digesting okay.
My 6-year-old had diahria issues after getting the MMR vaccine and the only way he stays 'normal' is to have the acidophilous everyday as well.
I'm sure you'll get some good insight from the mom's here.
Wishing you well.
It sounds like your daughter has toilet issues. She is stressed about her wetting and bowel movements and it is no longer a natural thing. All the things you have been trying to do to help her is causing anxiety. Keep her away from the milk or soy for a few days and ignore the rest. If she poops in her diaper tell her to clean herself. She is old enough. Teach her to put her tings in the washing machine or if you dont have one, into a plastic bag for the laundry mat. Don't yell, or fuss, or even praise her.
My grand daughter had a fear of pooping in the car or whenever far from home. My daughter had to stop many times on trips for her to go, she was so nervous she would get the runs. Then she gave her Pepto Bismol tablets one time and it worked. Well she didnt want to keep giving her medicine so she bought pink Canada Mints (they are the same shape and size as the Pepto) and it worked. Calmed my granddaughter down and convinced her she wouldnt have an accident.
I just read through several responses and was surprised to see people say that a 4 year old shouldn't be in a nighttime diaper. I potty trained my daughter just before her 3rd b-day (ok - maybe late to start, but it was the only time she had a week off from school and I could take off time from work). She was trained in one day. But at night, she was still wet, so I gave her a nighttime diaper. I would have kept her in it for a long time but when she was a little over 4, she told me she didn't want it anymore. So we stopped and she was fine. BUT, my pediatrician told me lots of kids have pullups at night even if they've been potty trained for years...
The bowel issue for you seems tough and not sure what to say about that... Could you talk to your pediatrician for some advice?
oh. well, diaper at 4 is not the end of the world. you need to relax a bit and start a new with number 2. also, there are pottys that have a lid. when i first started my girls potty training at age 3 i left that potty in the room with them and a box of wet wipes. taught them "how to" everything but also explained that they can call for me. after 6-8 months i took that potty from their room. so i take them to bathroom before bedtime at around 8. and then when i go to bed at 11 i take them potty again. as for number 2 coming at night, try to reverse it. give more fruit in the morning so that hopefully she'll go during the day. dont give fruit at dinner or before bedtime. also,twice a day take her potty specifically for number 2. let her have a book with her in the bathroom and tell her she can stay as long as she needs to. make light of the situation. show no frustration.
i would personally get rid of diaper at night. start with those panties that have a plastic lining (target carries them i believe). that should keep everything in. she also needs to feel the discomfort of having her bottom dirty. it's supposed to give a bad feeling so that she associates that with doing it without going potty.
you also said you and your mom had wetting problems. if your daughter cannot hold number 1 as well, then just limit everything (fluid esp) starting 2 hrs before bedtime. if she insists on drinking something give warm milk, very little that is.
this shall end too. good luck
Unless she has medical issues, which you should confirm with a specialist, she should not be in a diaper at age 4.
I am a big fan of acidopholous too, but she sounds as if this may not help.
Take away the diapers and be firm about he using the toilet.
