First School Year

Updated on September 09, 2010
L.D. asks from Houston, TX
9 answers

My three going on four year old have been in school almost a month and he gets to school and cries all day long. From the time he gets there until it's time to go to the car riders room to go home. He cries loudly! Even during the lunch period he won't eat his food he just cries all day! So of course when he gets home is starving. I don't know what else to do I'm frustrated and worried that they will want to put him out of school but there is nothing wrong with him. I went Friday and sat in his class his teacher and the aid (who I have know for the last 2 years) are very pleasant and good with the children but, he still cries. He even cried while I was there and I never stepped in cause I wanted to see her reaction and how she would handle him. But yet again this week we are on day 2 and he has cried both days. I dont know what to do...anyone somebody please HELP!!!!!

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

So I'm taking all of the suggestions and have started looking into the situation more...No I have not come to a conclusion but, just want to keep you updated and thank everyone for your thoughts. However, I realized yesterday that we never really had a transition from the daycare he was attending to big school. Granny, grandpa, dad and I have talked to him (At different times trying to see if something is wrong) last night and even this morning before school and I asked him if everything was okay, was someone bothering him, hitting, doing something to him, and of course why he was crying everyday. He still said he don't know. I'm not giving up just trying to figure out what to do!!! Hopefully we will figure it out soon!!!

More Answers

L.A.

answers from Austin on

What does the teacher suggest? How about the school Counselor?

We had a little Cousin, that was not ready to go to school and she was 5.. She was smart, but just very immature emotionally. They tried for 2 weeks and decided she just needed one more year at home.. They suggested she go to half time pre k and it helped a lot.She was 5 when she started Kindergarten, and did great. Walked right in ready to learn. She has now graduated from HS and joined the Air Force. I heard she is doing great..

6 moms found this helpful

T.N.

answers from Albany on

Perhaps it's just too long a day every day for him. Can you try three days a week? Or half days? Even some 5 year olds are not ready for a full day 5 days a week. My kids certainly weren't. When they were three they went 2 days, three hours. When they were four they went three days, three hours. Kindergarten was 5 days, 3 and a half hours. They were not in school all day every day til 1st grade, even then it was an adjustment. They are now 18, 16, and 13, all excellent students, it certainly didn't set them back any. Good Luck!

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.C.

answers from Sacramento on

Mom, what does you boy say when you sit down and calmly talk to him about why he is sad and crying? You need to really listen, it may help you find the answer. I teach young children and a little crying is not out of the ordinary for the first few wks, off and on as they adjust to the new, often more structured environment, and being away from Mom and Dad, but crying all day for a month is unusual. Ask yourself some questions Mom. Is your little boy overly sensitive? does he act this way if you leave him with a sitter? how is he at a relative's home without you? Is this unusual behavior for him; do you think it is separation anxiety? Are there siblings in the home who have just started school too ? Has anything changed within the last month that may bother him that he is not talking about? what's new at home? have u moved? marital problems? any job changes w/ Mom or Dad, losses of friends, family members or pets ? has he had any illness lately? Many simple changes in any of these area may cause him upset or sadness. How many days and hrs per wk does he go to in preschool? If he's there all day maybe it is too much for him at his age, can you change to a 1/2 day pgm? Ask yourself all of these questions to try to get to the bottom of things and make it better for him. If you can't figure it out soon, I would consider finding another place you can take him for childcare where he will be well cared for while you are at work. Maybe an in-home type child care arrangement would be better for him, at least until he is 4, then try again. Keep us posted, hope this helps.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

IMO, he's too little for an all day school. (I'm assuming it's all day b/c he's taking a lunch?) Maybe try a nursery school that is like 2 half days per week. Might be a case of too much, too soon.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.R.

answers from Columbus on

I kinda think you know that something is wrong, even if it is just that he is not ready to be in school yet. He is either not ready, or something is wrong. I hope you figure out which one it is because even when parents don't want to see something, it does not just go away. Early intervention makes it possible that some issues do just go away though, not getting it means that everyone is going to see it later...

M.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.G.

answers from Austin on

I agree that he doesn't need to be in school. The generation ahead of us never had preschool and look what they have been able to accomplish. Enjoy having him at home with you for another year or two. He's obviously not ready.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Oh, poor little guy. He doesn't have to be at school at 3! Is he there as a daycare option for you? Or, do you think he needs it? If at all possible, let him be a little boy and at home with you, playing and being read to, and loved by you. Sweet mama, why didn't you step in to help your son when he was crying? He's only 3. Why is it that we in our society think that little toddlers need to be so grown up and independent? They aren't ready at such a tender age. I just cannot imagine putting my 4 year old in a school. She's so sweet and little! She still needs her mommy, and so does your son. Don't buy into the lie that says that they somehow need the academics at that age. There is no evidence that it does any good for them. Even kids who don't start school until 7 or so catch up so quickly because they are more ready at the later age. I hope I am not offending you or anyone else. I know some people feel they don't have a choice. But, if you do, stop the madness! :)

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.B.

answers from Houston on

My middle child was the queen of her private kindergarten. All the boys wanted to marry her, the girls wanted to be her BFF. When she went to public first grade as the most well adjusted, happy, confident person I knew she would do just fine. By October the teacher sent a note saying she might have a urinary tract infection because she was going to the bathroom so much. A trip to the dr confirmed nothing was physically the matter. By the beginning of December the teacher called me in for another conference. I got there at ten AM and the teach said she had already been to the bathroom 17 times. That morning.
She never could articulate what the problem was, and it didn't seem to be physical but there WAS a problem. Finally over the Christmas holidays I realized that no one from school had invited her to any parties, no one had called her to come over and she used to have a VERY busy social life. I finally asked her if she was lonely ( this still tears me up when I remember this conversation) and she nodded. She had not made friends in the class because everyone in her room had gone to the public school for kinder and they already knew each other. She had gone from Queen Bee to Nobody. She finally managed to say that going to the bathroom made her feel better because in the bathroom she was Supposed to be by herself so she didn't feel lonely there. Thank goodness at that age moms can orchestrate friends. I called the teacher and said "She needs a friend. Give me some names of possibilities." One friend beget another and the bathroom trips stopped.
Soooooo.... There is always a reason. Your son isn't crying because he is trying to make your life miserable. He's crying because he can't articulate, he maybe doesn't even know what the matter is-he just knows something is not right. Maybe he needs a friend. Maybe his shoes hurt. My youngest cried at MDO every day (and they did kick her out) because I was packing lovely lunches with Mac n cheese or cheese sticks or yogurt-and she had an undiagnosed milk allergy. So basically she had a stomach ache every day at MDO and was uncomfortable so she cried. All day. Every day.
You need to be a detective. Get on his level and talk to him. Read between the lines. He's young, maybe he can't figure out the words to say what the problem is or maybe -like my daughter-he's embarrassed. She was confused that her status had changed-she knew even at 5 that she had been popular and now she wasn't.
And maybe he is just too young. Does he HAVE to go? Could he stop and try again in January? Maybe if you could help him make friends with a kid from the class that he could get to know outside of the classroom setting -that would make the transition easier. Something is up and you have to be the sleuth and figure it out.
Good luck.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.H.

answers from Houston on

Maybe you can tried play therapy with him? Sounds like he has anxiety about you leaving him.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions