Fiance Daughter 9 - Red Oak,TX

Have you talked to your finace about your feelings?

I would also sit her down and talk to her and tell her how things go in your house. It maybe different at her mother's house but let her know your expectations when she's with you.

If this is the man your you're going to marry you're going to have to deal with this child forever so you have to find a way to make things easier.

The other thing is I'm not sure how long you've been with your fiance but this maybe just new and she's just testing you and trying to figure out where she fits in.

Good luck and God Bless!

F.,
I'm wondering if the first part of your message did not come through and if I have most of the information. (?) It's good that you are seeking help because your relationship is certainly worth it, especially if you will be marrying. It sounds to me that the daughter is feeling very insecure and this is coming out in an immature way. Your initial reaction is likely to be annoyed by it, which she will sense, and this may cause her to act out even more to "win you over." It sounds like she wants to be viewed as important by you. If you haven't yet, try to win HER over. Show her that you care about her because she may have been getting only negative signals from you even if you didn't mean to show them. She needs to know that she will be valued by you and an important part of your relationship with her father. If you and he are talking about something, and she interrupts with something directed to you, say something like, "That sounds really interesting. As soon as I finish talking with your dad, I would love to hear more about it," or "Just a minute, ok?" with a smile on your face. And mean it! Let her know you care. It will make a big difference to your fiance to know that you genuinely like and care about his child, and that will help your relationship with him when it comes to discipline and wanting the best for her. I really think she is crying out for your attention and approval. Spend some time with her one on one. If she knows that you really do like her, it will make her feel good about herself and your relationship with her dad. Make it your goal to love this child, and you will change the two of you in the process. She deserves it.
I wish you the best.
Leeanne

F., I would really say talk with your fiance about the situation.. b/c kids get older and worst.. and if you really love this man then you are going to learn how to interact with her.. maybe she is doing this to get under yu skin b/c she dislikes you.. now hopwfully you all sit down together and talk about appropriate and inapporpriate behavior.. b/c this child will become "like" your daughter...now if he isn't willing to listen or feels like she isn't behaving wrong then you might want to rethink marriage.

I suspect that the child is testing the waters- who is more important to her dad- you or her? She needs to know her dad still loves her and she is still his number one princess... resulting in regression.

REALLY need to make sure all the related issues are worked out BEFORE getting married.... sit down w/ fiance and line up what is okay for you to do/ say as far as dicipline and what you expect of him. Then make sure that the child is on the same page- that you two are now going to be united and discipline together in agreement and tell her what is expected of her. If these things can't be done then your marriage is on rocky grounds before it even begins.