Extending Sympathy to Friend After 2Nd Miscarriage - How Do I Do It?

I agree with Katie. We are on baby #7, which, if everything continues to progress will give us our third. I know the hopelessness, and yes, it is a bit hard to hear of others having babies, especially when it seems to come so easily to them, but it's something your cousin needs to deal with. You just need to be sensitive. It sounds like you're already good with that. Send her a card or call and let her know you're thinking of her. Another difficult time is the baby's due date and the few months after that, as well as the would be first birthday. It would mean a lot to her if you remembered her at those times as well. Two things that people have done for me that meant the world, was a friend sent me a small trinket each time and another friend sent me a one year birthday card for the memory of each baby. Thank you for your sensitivity. It will mean the world to your cousin.

Hi A.,
I've had two miscarriages. I think one of the worst parts was when my friends and family wouldn't say anything or even worse act like i had some sort of illness. So please send a card or note to those who've had a miscarriage. Just something short. " I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you during this very difficult time and wish you the best." is ok. If you don't know what to say then say "I don't know what to say, but want to let you know that I care."

Also If you are expecting your own baby, dont be suprised if your friend who had the loss avoids you or is rude. It wont be about you or anything you've done. She'll probably be dealing with her own pain. So just be as suportive as possible. It's ok to be happy about your kids but she probably wont want to hear about how hard it is to have preschoolers (she would love to have that hard life) or about all the crappy pregnancy stuff...again she would love to have that too)...

The best of luck to you.

J. b

Please send her a card. Just a little note saying that you're sorry about her loss and if she needs to talk, call you, with your number to show sincerity. Also around the due date, possibly send her another card just saying you were thinking of her at this time.

my sister lost her baby at 17 weeks. That was very hard for her. She said the worst was when people ignored it or said it was for the best. My sisters next door neighbor was due 2 weeks before my sister but she had 2 previous miscarriages before that one. She was a wonderful person to have around at that time for my sister. She only knew her for 3 months before that happened, but she was there for her more than anyone. I hope your cousins wife is grieving for her children and possibly joining a loss support group.

Your cousin in law is angry and probably bitter toward mothers in general. I know I would be if I had this happen to me, but thank God I have 2 healthy babies. Just try to be supportive for her, even though she is in another state and has distanced herself.

She is in my thoughts.

Send her a card expressing your condolences and then call in a week or so. Make the call short, "I'm just calling to check on you, see if there is anything we can do and express our sympathies." If she doesn't feel like talking, then let her know you are thinking about them and that you are there if they need you.

You can't put your life on hold because they've lost two babies. Continue with your plans to have another baby. And if it does happen, you will eventually have to tell them and when you do, just make it short and sweet. She may be upset or sad, but understand she's not mad at YOU, she's just upset at the situation in general - why can other's have babies when she can't?

It's hard to be in your situation, but like I said, you can't plan your life around other people's sorrows. Just let them know you love them and that you care.

Send her a card and/or flowers. DO do something to acknowledge her and let her know that you love her, are thinking of her, wish for her happiness. DO NOT say things like "You'll have another" or "have fun trying again" or "it's God's will" or "maybe you just need to...." or "it'll get easier." Check up on her with a call, an email, or a card every one to two weeks or more because than she'll know you really do love her and believe me the pain isn't going to be over soon.

When you do conceive again, tell her in an email or note so that she can read your news in private, and again express love to her. Do not tell her to her face or over the phone because then she will feel obligated to react happily for you. And, just as another poster commented, remember that it has nothing against you personally, it's just the crumby situation. Nothing you can say to her about your conceiving again will NOT cause pain and sadness. Just don't take it personally. Still be there for her because even if she does someday get to a point in which she's accepted it, she'll forever be sad about it. It's part of our nature as women to desire children.