Every Morning Tantrums

It sounds like he has you well trained: I throw a tantrum, and she gets me a bottle! Works like a charm! You are rewarding him for bad behavior so why should he stop? I would suggest putting him in a safe place, like his room, closing the door, and make it clear he will have no contact with you or any other family member until he stops his tantrum. Then stick to it! No opening the door until he is done with his tantrum. Then give him a hug and feed him breakfast, but NO BOTTLE! He is too old for a bottle anyway. Reward him only for cheerful behavior, and that's what you'll get.
~From a mom of five boys...

this was great advice from my parents when I was having challenges with my daughter and temper tantrums.
they said ignore the tantrum, walk away and do not give in, it may take a week of watching your son flayle on the floor but he will surely figure out that this behavior is no longer working for him.
the most important part I stress is DO not pay any attention to him while he is expressing this anger, go to another room when he follows you then go to another room. if you dont get him to understand that temper tantrums are worthless then he will use this tactic to his benifit,
try replacing his 6 am bottle with a tipsy cup instead of a bottle then you can introduce the tipsy cup at breakfast as well.
good luck an it is never easy just shut off your ears be patient, ignore the behavior and make sure you are consistent until the tantrums stop.

He throws tantrums like that because you have already showed him eventually he will get it. It is like him saying its his way or the highway. Which we all know it should be moms way or the highway.
Dont pay attention to it. Buy earplugs for ya both if its breaking you down but eventually he will stop and realise he isnt getting his way. He will also start wanting breakfast because he is hungry.
If you give in now. You will get worse behavior problems in the future!!

Ps if its violent i would recommend you speak to a doctor. Give him a sippy cup. he may throw it in anger. Just ignore that and go about your business. No need to take your attention off the good kid when the other kid is being bad. BUT, dont talk about the kids behavior towards the other kid. That just makes things worse

Good Luck

E.,
Lisa is right about him training you. There may be a reason for it, but you still need to expect respect for your schedule and your home.
Is he in any chronic pain? Is he frustrated because an older child is talking for him and he hasn't practiced his own words?
If he is up later at night, then he won't really be awake early in the morning and ready for breakfast. Perhaps you could break him of his bottle habit by simply giving him a water bottle in his crib. I had to do that with a couple of my 7 children. He may just be thirsty and not ready for the day. Perhaps you need to eliminate his nap for a day or two so he will fall asleep when you want him to at night... Then re-introduce the nap earlier in the day and/or for a shorter time. Purposely wake him after so many minutes so he will sleep at bedtime.
It definitely sounds like a control issue. You need to win this one or your future life will be miserable. You decide what schedule you want in your home and he will learn to adjust.

One standing rule in our home that helped me and that my children totally get and appreciate now that they are older, is 'you whine, you lose' ALWAYS.... Even if it was something you could let them do, if they whined to get it, it didn't happen. (my kids hear whining in a grocery store and look at me like, whose the parent?... omg...you whine, you lose... why do the parents allow that ugly behavior?)
If you are consistent with that you will enjoy your days ahead. i would tell my children, I can't hear you when you talk like that... or , if you are going to whine, it isn't happening, or i was silly with them and said do you need cheese with that w(h)ine? :) and things like that. They need to learn to talk to you and others respectfully. We don't have to respond to disrespect. You are catching this while he is young and will be ahead of this problem behavior in no time.
This will not take long to turn around perhaps a few weeks of consistent structure... and you will have a happy home again.
Feel free to email me personally if you like. Blessings, L.

When I decided to eliminate the bottle, I started diluting milk half with water, because then he didn't fill up on milk, and it wasn't as "yummy" for him. I eventually went to just water in the bottle, and whole milk in cups, so if he "needed" to suck, he could, but if he wanted milk, he had to get it from the sippy cup. When my first son started throwing tantrums, I completely ignored him, and stepped over him and left the room. He quickly gave it up and ran after me, and only did it a couple of times. I recommend the book "Making the Terrible Twos Terrific" by John Rosemond. He says the terrible twos can start even at 15 months, and gives really great advice for dealing with them. Good luck!

sounds like you have a wonderful family. Anytime you give into a tantrum you are teaching them that it works and it becomes harder to stop. It becomes a learned response. If I act this way I get what I want. Now it will be harder to get over with. He needs to hear words like that is not acceptable behavior then ignore. My grand daughter did the same thing to me and it got to the point that I would have to step over her and leave the room. When she would quit and use her words we would hug and I would explain that it was unacceptable behavior and how much I loved her. In the beginning as soon as I would pick her up she would start again so I would put her down and walk away. She finally got the idea and has stopped throwing temper tantrums all together. She is a real sweet heart. It could also have something to do with you being pregnant and may need reinforcement as far as how important he still is. Either way do not put up with the tantrums. I had my children 2 years apart and started early telling my son how important he was and how much Mommy would need his help and how important being a big brother was. I found books about big brothers and read to him. The bottle may be a way of telling you that he is still your baby.
If he would like to involve him in the preperation of gettng ready for the baby.He will always be your first born and hold a special place in your heart.

Tiny feet always leave big prints in our hearts

I have 2 daughters (1 & 3) that sometimes have a hard time waking up from their naps. Each at times throwing a tantrum and they are inconsolable. I believe it's due to them sleeping really deeply and not quite waking up fully before coming out of their rooms. I make sure that they are safe, but I ignore the tantrum, not even speaking to them. Once it's passes, I act like it never happened and give them hugs & kisses. It may be due to low blood sugar, but I don't think that is it in our case.
Good luck!!

As long as your baby is not hurting hmself, you need to step over him and go about your business. As soon as he sees that the crying and tantrums are not getting him anywhere, he will stop. Everytime you walk past him, tell him what you are doing and that you love him. Such as " I am going to start breakfast and I love you." I am brushing sisters hair and I love you! When you get his attention, distract him with, something like, "I am brushing my hair, would you like to try it?" Hand him the brush. He is developing a bad morning habit and the only way to stop it is to replace it with a good one. It might take a little time but it will work. He sounds very smart ans so far he is the one controlling your mornings. Take it back mom! You can do it!! Good Luck.

He may be getting hungry, and have low blood sugar by morning, so holding off on the milk may just make the problem worse. I would offer a small amount (1/2 c.) in a sippy cup, and then see where it takes you. He may be working the system, but he also may be going through a growth spurt and need the protein in milk. 1/2 c. shouldn't spoil breakfast and in a cup won't be as "addicting". My son always wanted milk early in the morning when he was that age, and then we ate a later breakfast (at 9 or 10 rather than 7) and he outgrew that stage and does fine again.

Hi E.,

All I can offer you in comparison is my own son who is 21 months now. He nurses still and we co-sleep. He wakes usually first at about 3-4 am to nurse, then again at 6. And then he's up by 6:30-7. He isn't hungry for real food for an hour our two. But has taken to sitting with us and eating a bit lately. I expect that your son is probably really hungry too without nursing. Sounds like his stomach needs that instant nourishment. I figure in time, if I keep offering breakfast at the same time, he'll figure it out when he's ready.

Good luck!

Ok, here's a suggestion that may sound really odd. But here it goes.
When I did this (temper tantrum) as a young child, my mom was told to get down on the floor and have a "temper tantrum" with me. She thought the person suggesting it was nuts, but she eventually tried it because she didn't know what else to do.
And.... it worked. She says I got up off the floor and looked at her like she was nuts and went into the other room to play.
She was also forced to do this with my little brother. Unfortunately he didn't have his temper tantrum in the comfort of our home. He had his in the middle of a drug store. She got down on the floor of the store with him and he was so embarassed, he never did it again. She didn't shop at that store for a while, because of it. ;-)
Anyway, even if you don't try this, at least the visual of it, may give you a smile.
Good luck!

Hi E.-
I would follow exactly what Lisa G said. More than anything, kids don't like when they don't have your attention and usually will calm down and stop the behavior. It might take a few attempts so get him to stop, but I would put him in his crib or in his room, where it is safe and shut the door and leave. I wouldn't leave him for more than 2 minutes. Kind of like a time out, but I call it time away (from mommy). Then bring him out and offer breakfast with milk in a sippy cup. He has just gotten use to a certain routine and kids are a creature of habit. If after you offer the breakfast and milk in a cup and the tantrum still is going on, do the routine again. It isn't like you are being a mean mom by doing this, it is just showing him that you don't like his behavior. The two minutes will be eternity to you, I know. I am not one of those cry it out or strict kind of moms but I have found that this has worked well with my daughter(who is two months older than yours) when she has tantrums.
Good luck to you.

Wondering if he is drinking from a cup? Maybe offer him that instead. This behavior is totally normal for his age. If he does not talk, they will use their hands or bodies to get their message out.
Maybe teach him sign language so he can communicate with the family and read books to him about having feelings and give him the words. "Oh, you look angry" "You must be mad because mommy won't give you a bottle" Give him choices, "Do you want the blue cup or the green one?" Some of his behavior maybe power or control also. He wants to make some decisions about what he wants and he is demostrating his frustration. Happy Parenting!

D.

I had similar issues at different time periods with each of my kids. At my home, it is unacceptable to act 'that way' and I have them go in the other room so that the rest of the household does not have to witness the tantrum. When there is not an audience, it generally ceases to exist. If they did not want to go, I would help them along or simply pick them up and carry them to the other room. I would not say any words after the first time, and eventually they would get the picture. Nowadays, even my 4 year old wakes up on the wrong side of the bed and I have her go back to her room until she can be respectful. It is not fair for the rest of us to have to watch her nonverbal tantrum/ mean faces, "don't look at me!" kind of stuff so the kids are finally getting the picture that they can do that all they want, just by themselves. :) Good luck and once you start, stay consistent and they will get the picture. Hope it works for ya!

possible try sneeking in there just before he wakes and put some crackers or some kind of snack he likes on the bed so when he wakes up he will eat it and then come out happy. My mom said she had to do this for me when i was a kid. Something about the blood sugar being low after sleeping.

I agree with those who said giving in will make it worse. I don't there is a problem with giving him a small amount of milk in a sippy, but I would tell him he won't get it until he calms down, and then walk away and don't give in! Make him calm down before he gets what he wants, otherwise he learns that pitching a fit is all he has to do to get his way.

Best of luck!

Just a thought, have you ever taken him to a chiropactor? Are in Anchorage, AK? If so, you could try taking him to Dr. Cynowa at Total Health ###-###-####. She is fabulous!!!! I can't help but wonder if he is sore and stiff from sleeping. I get that way when I need to get adjusted. It always feels better for me after I'm up moving around for a little bit. Specially when you said he used to be such a morning person. That was a BIG clue for me to suggest the chiropactor.

I hope things get better.