Tantrums, Really? Already?

Have you considered co-sleeping? Everyone gets to rest.

My daughter started throwing temper tantrums before she was 1 year old. Full blown- back arching, screaming, etc. tantrums. She does this whenever she is frustrated or doesn't get her way (and they are way worse when she is tired). I think it depends on the kid- I've had people tell me the tantrums start before 1 year and others who did not.

My daughter was breastfed and still getting up once/night at 11 months. I knew at that point she was capable of sleeping through the night- at 11 months they don't need the middle of the night feeding- they are doing it for comfort and attention. If she seems hungry, try giving her more to eat during the day. I'm sure she's not only eating baby food, but probably also a variety of table foods at this point, so she should be able to get enough to sleep through the night without nursing. I did at one point just stop going in during the night when my daughter was 11 months. It didn't take long before she was sleeping through the night no problem. I am not a fan of cry-it-out (I think it is cruel), but I found that my daughter would just whimper, whine, talk to herself and "play" and she would eventually fall back to sleep. It would take her 1-2 hours, but she would put herself back to sleep. She is an awful sleeper and it routinely takes her 1-2 hours to fall asleep even for naps and bedtime. Now, though she wakes up occassionally during the night, she usually sleeps through and I am a better person when I get sleep. Good luck! I know how difficult the sleep deprivation is.

Hi K.! I am going through a similar situation with my 11-month old. While he's not yet throwing tantrums, he IS waking frequently throughout the night and has been since 7 months old. Prior to 7 months, he slept wonderfully - 8:00 p.m. to 7:00 or 7:30 a.m.! It was obviously too good to be true and my husband and I can't pinpoint how to revert back to that pattern. At this age, they're often teething coupled with the desire to be close to mom or dad. If they can't comfort themselves back to sleep, they want company and they want to be soothed.

Recently, my son has been waking every two to three hours. We've tried rice cereal and bottle before he goes to bed, nursing him AGAIN right before I turn in for the night, and so on. When he wakes in the middle of the night, I'll let him cry for five minutes then go in, let him know I'm there, lay him back down, rub his back, then leave and the cycle repeats. Sometimes though, this cycle could go on for an hour. In the past few months, I've tried NOT to nurse him in the middle of the night, but when all else fails, I cave in because I just want sleep. Does your daughter nap well during the day? I often wonder if this is part of the reason for my son's night waking because he often doesn't nap well, particularly on the days he's in daycare. I've often read sleep begets sleep.

I'm not sure if anything I've tried will work for you, but at least know I'm in a similar boat and would love to pinpoint the reason(s) behind this night waking!

And btw, this is my second child as well. My first would wake with bouts of teething or when he was sick, but then he would fall back into his pattern of sleeping through the night.

I'm out of ideas and would love to hear any further suggestions or share anything that works between us!

I don't know what to tell you about the tantums, but as for the night feedings from "Baby 411"...

"Offer water at 3 am and see what happens. It's likely to be rejected the first night. And yes, your child will protest. The second night, offer water again. The protesting will be less lengthy. By the third night, your baby won't bother to wake up."

I had my doubts and it sounds really harsh, but it worked, just like it said. In fact, my 10 month old slept till 8:30 on the 3rd morning (She usually is up between 6 & 7). I would recommend waiting until Friday to start this because you won't get much sleep the first two nights.

I was stressing over having to supplement with formula because my daughter was waking in the middle of the night (I wasn't able to pump), and our frozen milk supply was running out. I was concerned that she might be hungry but when she slept through the third night, I knew it had just become a habit to eat in the middle of the night.

Hopefully once your daughter gets a full night's rest the tantrums will subside. Good Luck!!

My first child was so peaceful and my second threw tantrums maybe even before 11 months! She would throw her head back...i eventually had to just walk over her and pretend i didn't notice. I am telling you this because this is thier personalities now :) My oldest is going to be 14, she is so calm and helpful, church canter, alter server etc. My 2nd daughter is going to be 13...she likes to drive me crazy!! She loves to test the boundaries and is a very strong willed little bugger!

I don't have much advice for how to deal, sorry about that. I just think it is so funny that you can see their personalities when they are that tiny!

try switching her to a bottle and before she goes to bed feed her some oatmeal rice ceral or something to fill her up.and she is probably still teething and in pain.give her some ibuprofen b4 bed and if it is really bothering you take her to the pediatrician for your own piece of mine...good luck

Again, I'm not really sure about the tantrums, but I'd follow your gut instinct which says that she's trying to tell you that all is not quite right for her. I'm not sure I'd cave in and suddenly go back to a pattern which means she's nursing all night and you aren't getting any sleep though. I might take a look at the other things, such as how you are interacting with her generally - whether you are short tempered a bit more than you would like (who hasn't been there!) and if there's anything else during the waking hours that you could change.

In terms of feeding more before bed - I'd avoid that actually. Kids should really be able to regulate their own appetites. They are really quite good at eating until they are full, and asking for more when they want it - especially if they've been breastfed on demand for the first year like yours. They just seem to need a bit more guidance around quitting nursing during the night. Personally I co-slept with my son, and would simply cuddle him and tell him no more nursey-nursey (our word for it!) at night, we need to wait until the morning now. Because I was still there, and was really being sensitive and kind while withdrawing the no longer strictly necessary nursing, it seemed to work pretty well and pretty fast for us. Once you've started it one way though, probably best to continue. I'm not personally sure how to encourage our men to be better nurturers, but I've noticed my husband seems almost completely incapable of comforting my son - always has done, and doesn't seem to get any better... would love ideas about how to encourage that somehow! Guess letting go of the reins a bit must be part of it... x

I don't think the tantrums are that out of the ordinary for an 11 month old. My youngest of four did this prior to his first birthday....huge fits and tantrums, would bang his head on the floor or wall...kicking and screaming, eventually biting! The overnight stuff though? she is 11 mos old.....why is she still being fed overnight? she needs more food maybe prior to bedtime, and then that is it. She just wants her needs met....and knows how to go about getting attention or getting nursed. She is far too young to understand the time out concept, but I honestly think that when they do this all night long it is more of a power struggle situation, especially if you know she is capable of sleeping all night long. Stick to your guns, it may take a week or more, but stop nursing her all night, try some new things before the bed time routine and just tuff it out. YOU are entitled to be getting some sleep now after nearly a year of this all night long nonsense.

Dear K.,
She's not even one year old... she has no concept about "time outs". All she knows about is getting her needs met. I used to take my kids in my bed for the nighttime feeding. The only bad thing was that sometimes I woke up with a stiff neck from being too long in the same position while the baby nurses. If you give her cereal before bedtime, she might not wake up hungry. You don't mention the age of your other child. Do they take naps. Maybe you can sleep in the afternoon when they nap.
It is not easy being a mom, but the care that you give them now will pay off exponentially when they are teenagers.
Good luck,
N

I'm guessing you're probably right that she's 1) cranky from not getting a proper amount of sleep and 2) feeling neglected or otherwise needy because she's not getting the comfort fix she's grown accustomed to. Time will probably work it out, but in the meanwhile maybe you could try to give her some special cuddle time early in the day -- read some books or something -- to make up for lost attention at night. Also, is she getting a full 13-14 hours sleep, if you count naps and don't count the time she's awake at night? Maybe she needs a longer or second nap during the day...

Good luck!

She is learning that if she cries Daddy will come eventually and calm her down. You are rewarding her for bad behavior. Feed her cereal and maybe a bottle of milk along with a feeding. At night you need to just let her cry it out. temper tantrums, unless they are hurting themselves, you need to just walk away from. Don't give in or they will just keep having the tantrums because you are telling them the tantrums work to get your attention or to get their way. When they start the tantrum say to the child, this is not appropriate behavior and when you are done, we will talk. Then walk away to another room and let her have her frustration fit. It will be rough at first but it won't take long before she realizes that the fits don't work. To help keep her sleeping during the night play some classical music in her room during the night. It works great to keep little ones sleeping. Mozart, Bach..etc. Many studies have been done that if you play classical music at night, the kids sleep better and they are smarter.

Hi K.

My guess is that you are right about her being over tired during this transition. Since you are nursing, my advice may not be what you want to hear, but I'll throw it out there anyway. Time for a sippy cup before bed and snack, and then let her cry it out. 11 months is plenty old enough to sleep through the night, she just needs to learn how. Feed the heck out of her before bed, nurse more frequently if you'd rather do that, but I would give her a big sippy cup of pumped milk and a snack before bed, then start letting her go. Once she gets the hang of sleeping through the night everything will work itself out. Yes, she is going through a transition right now, but in the long run you are teaching her that she is perfectly fine and can sleep well on her own.