Double up the Birthday Kids, or Keep Parties Separate?

Updated on May 07, 2013
P.N. asks from Bennett, CO
27 answers

If you had 2 kids born in the same month, would you have the family party for them on the same day, or would you have them on 2 separate weekends? (Not friends, just family, kids both under age 12)
Do you think you are doing them a disservice by combining their birthday parties, or do you think you are monopolozing family weekend time by asking everyone to come twice? ETA-just FYI, each birthday kid always gets a special birthday dinner on the actual day of their birth (celebrated with just the 7 of us, no aunts, uncles, cousins, or grandparents...)

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So What Happened?

Thanks everyone! I absolutely agree with combining, but have a sister whose kids are 2 years and 1 week apart, and she insists on having their family parties on two separate weekends.
Just wanted to make sure I wasn't "short-changing" my kids by doing this! They don't mind at all (the kids), so we combine to save money and to be respectful of everyone's time.

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answers from New York on

One party! I would not want two weekends in one month taken up by same family party. That is really being inconsiderate. I have two kids in same month and it never crossed my mind to have two separate family parties.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Grand Forks on

My boys birthdays are a week apart. I do the friends parties separate because they have two different groups of friends (they are three years apart), but the family party I combine. We also go out to dinner on the actual birthday with just immediate family.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Raleigh on

My kids are 4 days apart. We combine the parties. It's easier for everyone involved (including me!).

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answers from New York on

If I can speak for the family members that you are inviting - please, double it up!!

Of course have cake on the actualy bdays - maybe invite grandparents again to those celebrations since grandparents love these things!!

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Dover on

I think it depends...if one is the 1st and one the 31st, I would probably do them separately. If one is the 10th and the other the 17th, I would probably combine them (and still have a small cake on their birthdays for immediate family).

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answers from Chicago on

We have 16 in the extended local family all in the SAME month (3 on the same day!) from 6-57! We do a Large family joint party and anyone who wishes to do something in addition can, but does not expect family to show up. We consider it our "First Christmas" because of the way we do the get together. So, if I were to host a party for my son I would assume it would be held for his friends and not expect family to be there.

Hope this helps.

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answers from St. Louis on

combine them! It is considered an honor in our family!

My older son was born on my BD. My husband's is 2 weeks prior, & our younger son is one month before that. All 4 in 6 weeks!

We've always combined our older son's BD with mine, & we've always thrown his dad's in on it, too. When our son was old enough to have friends join his party, the BD party became all about HIM! My DH & I opened gifts at the same time, but the focus was on our son. :)

My niece & nephew are back-to-back on their BDs, & my sis has always combined theirs. They each picked their own theme & my sis combined the themes. It was crazy FUN!

My uncle & grandfather were also back-to-back. Until the day my gpa died, their BDs were combined.

If you start young, then it becomes 2nd nature & can be a blessing for all involved. :)

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

If you are doing something special for each of them ON their birthday? Combine 'em!

No sense in spending money twice. One of my girlfriends, with 3 kids, has ONE HUGE party - each of them get to invite their own friends - and each get their own cake....BBQ is done...slip 'n slide and moon's a HUGE event...and it's FUN!!!


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answers from Washington DC on

My kids birthdays are in March, April, and June. We are SO busy in the spring that last year no one got parties. This year all 3 kids are sharing a party. We are renting the local pool that holds up to 350 people. They have a lot of the same friends and it will just make it easier on everyone. Plus all of the kids get along. The pool is huge so they will all have their own space and room to play.

However, for the family parties, the kids ALWAYS get their own dinners and celebrations. They get to celebrate JUST them and not share the dinner with anyone else.

ETA: The family parties are just dinner on the birthday. Each kid gets their own and everyone has the choice to come or not.

One more edit :). My older sister and I are 5 days apart, we always got our own celebration. My younger sister and middle brother are only 3 days apart, and only 4 days before my dad's birthday, all 3 separate celebrations. Everyone deserves their own day, even if it's one day apart like my husband and son.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

I personally would combine the parties into one, but make their actual birthday special for each of them, i.e. special dinner out, etc. just like you said.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

Combine. Otherwise it sounds like you are having 4 parties (one friends and one family each) plus two birthday dinners. I would like to have my birthday at your house :)

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Baton Rouge on

It would depend on how close in age they are.

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answers from Houston on

My brother and I are four years and one week apart. We had combo birthdays twice. Terrible. Could be because boy and girl. From then on it was 2 parties.

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answers from Boston on

Definitely combined. It's obnoxious to expect extended family to carve out more than one day in the same month to celebrate birthdays. When we were younger, two of my siblings and three of my cousins had birthdays in November so we used to do one party for the five of them. Two of my sons have birthdays in March so we celebrate at our St. Patrick's Day dinner for my side and my GMIL's birthday gathering (which may or may not overlap Passover) on my husband's side. My SD's birthday is in late November and gets celebrated at Thanksgiving, along with my MIL's birthday, on DH's side of the family. On my side of the family, we celebrate SD's with my neice's birthday (and my sister's) in early November or my mother's in early December. My youngest son's birthday used to get rolled in with my grandmother's, whose birthday was 3 days later, before she passed away. He might be the only one who no longer shares a birthday with anyone but we'll probably celebrate his when we get together to remember my nana, if that's not too morbid.



answers from Miami on

My daughter and my nephew are 11 days apart. We did their party together this year (1st one), but may not do it again b/c it was really two families extended and celebrating.

My husband is a twin and their niece (older sister is the same age as my mom) was born 7 years and three days after them. Needless to say, three birthdays in one week meant ALWAYS having a "joint" family party (cake and presents), but separate friend parties (even the twins).

In your case, if you are still doing something special ON the actual birthday and aren't looking to combine their "friend parties", then PLEASE combine the family party! While I'm sure that your family loves your children... two parties on consecutive Saturdays with the same group of people is little much.



answers from Los Angeles on

You should definitely combine the family parties. It's too much to expect family members to come twice in the same month to a party for your kids. It's also way more work and money for you to throw two parties. If it was me, I'd be pretty annoyed at having to go to two separate parties for siblings born that close together.

They are too old to combine their parties with friends, unless they are only a year or so apart and have most of the same friends anyway.



answers from Phoenix on

I would do it the same day, since it's just family, if it's ok with the children. My kids are 10 days apart, birthday wise. This year, my daughter (4) wanted to share her birthday party with her brother (2). We do a big, combined family and friends party, so we just did Cinderella and Superman decorations. The boys at the party got Superman goodie bags, the girls got Cinderella ones. There was a cake for each of them and they each got a turn being sung to and getting to blow out their candles.
As long as they don't have to share a theme or a cake, they can feel like they each get a party, even if they're sharing.



answers from St. Louis on

We have two birthdays in August and until they ASK for separate birthdays, they will be having a joint party (one for friends / dinner out for family). On their actual birthday they get to choose what we are having for dinner. Presents from us will be given on their actual birthdays. They will be 4 and 6 this August and have not asked thus far for their own!


answers from Los Angeles on

combined family party all the way. We combine three in Dec. for my oldest and two cousins and i"ll tell you why- because people can only take so many kids birthday parties, thats why. Not trying to be rude here, and it seems you already realize this : your family has a life to live beyond your childrens' mile stones.



answers from Washington DC on

What's the ages? My SD is a week off my DD who is a week off two of their cousins (same day). We try to give each kid his or her own event. Now, if it's only family and someone has to travel, then I would do something jointly, but give them individual friend parties.



answers from Dallas on

If it's for family I say yes go for it just do the one. We a lot of times will do that with my son and neice if they can't make it to the big party we will do the two of theirs together and my son in 14 now and neice is 9 I think.



answers from Dallas on

For just family, unless the kids totally hate the idea, go ahead and combine. As long as they have something separate and especially theirs, it shouldn't be a problem.


answers from Minneapolis on

I would definetely combine them - easier for you and the family to attend! You're not short-changing either b/c this is in addition to what you do for them individually on their actual bdays and it doesn't effect their friend parties.



answers from Boise on

I think you are fine to combine. My brother and I were born on the same day 2 years apart, we always had a combined birthday :), but my mom would have us pick our cake. That way we each could have the cake that we wanted. Then we would have a picnic in the park or a BBQ at our house with the family to come. We enjoyed it, and never wanted our birthdays on a different day.
I have twins, a boy and a girl, and this last year we did separate birthdays for them. They requested that their birthdays be back on the same day again. They prefer having everyone together on the same day, rather than having their birthday on different days.



answers from Denver on

I would do the family shindig all together for both kids - then a separate party w/friends for each. That way they each get their "own" party and family doesn't have to block out two weekends. Plus you don't have to have four parties!


answers from Jacksonville on

It depends. How close is the family? I mean, are they having to travel to come, or do they live across town? And how close/far apart are the birthdays? My kids' birthdays are not in the same month, but are less than 3 weeks apart.
Are their birthdays days apart, or closer to 3 1/2 weeks or something? If you are suggesting doing 2 weekends in a row, then I would combine them.

For our family, we might plan a "family" birthday cake thing with extended family, if they are planning to be in the area---none of our family lives closer than 90 minutes. Most are 5 hours away. And there is no issue of whether or not to do the birthdays separately or together. If we expect to see them again close to the other child's birthday, they wait and we have a 2nd cake, etc. If not, then we do it all at once. It is a matter of logistics and nothing more.



answers from Pocatello on

My cousin and I were born one day apart, around Thanksgiving. Often, one of our birthdays was on thanksgiving. Often our birthdays were celebrated together, on Thanksgiving. I think we both turned out ok.
with the busy lives people lead these days, it would be very hard to expect people to get together very often, especially if there is any traveling involved. I'd say combine. Sounds like there would be plenty of people so, just have seperate cakes for each birthday kid.

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