Does It Matter to You What Your Spouse Looks Like?

I care that my husband meets my most basic expectations of diet, hygiene, and fashion. I don't want to lower my standard to accomodate laziness, neither do I raise my standards higher than he can achieve. I can motivate him to look and smell his best, always. It is good for him.

I personally never feel I have the right to say anything when I have put on tons of weight and no longer look like I did, can't really expect him to.

I am not the tiny little goth girl who wears make up every day and platformed shoes and looks good when ever I step outside.

I only wear make up for going "out" (friends, dinner, dates *ha ha whats a date???*)
I never wear heels or cute shoes or anything anymore, pretty much always in sandals.
I have put on weight and don't wear the cute clothes anymore either.

So if he's no longer the "bad boy" in the leather jacket, mohawk, plaid pants, punk rock shirt, and combat boots and now he instead has some extra weight is a little sloppy, or his hair is a mess, or has a perpetual 5 'o' clock shadow, who am I to complain?

LOL :)

Yes i care. It wont stop me from loving him but i will be less attracted say....if he grows a beard or long hair (which he is known to do). Im not married to a caveman. But those are very easy decisions. It'd be like if he hated red hair and i dyed mine red (i mean why would i do that?)

Things that cant be helped, or are harder to help...like weight gain, wrinkles, gray hair I dont mind. In fact i find a little belly and silver streaks kind of sexy.

As far as personal hygiene, well i would hope id never have to ponder this. Im not married to a pre-teen. A grown man can clean properly and should be expected to.

yes, it matters to me! First off, in many cases a healthy person is an attractive person... so I want my husband moderately fit (no I don't need a bodybuilder - but I don't want a blob of protoplasm either...) I don't expect perfection, I just want my husband to care for himself, inside and out.

I expect my husband to generally look groomed: decent haircut (as long as it is clean and on purpose, i don't mind the cut), brush teeth, shaved/styled facial hair (my husband sports a goatee), clothes that are clean, no holes and fit.

I don't TELL him what to do, he takes care of himself because he cares about his appearance anyways, but if he suddenly stopped caring- yes I would say something! I hope he would say something to me too!

Of course there are things you cannot control. If he was in an accident and was disfigured, paralyzed etc... Of course I would still love him. There is a massive difference between neglecting yourself and accidents.

-M.

I don't think aging, moderate weight gain, graying, or receding hairlines etc are anything to even think about. We get older. I am actually more turned off by a man doing something stupid to "hide" his hair loss or coloring his hair or women who inject poisons into their body to pretend they're younger. I love my husband. I loved him when he had dark hair with little tufts of gray, and I love him now with his silvery white hair. If he's clean shaven in his suit for work, he's hot! If he's in shorts and a Hendrix t-shirt and hasn't shaved for 2 days, he's hot then too! Because.....he's HIM.
If he gained 30 pounds suddenly, he'd go to the doctor to see if something was wrong. But a pound a year, or weight gain women get from having a baby and have trouble knocking off, not the same.
Hygiene is NOT the same thing as aging and the things you expect from aging. Hygiene and weight gain are not necessarily the same things either. Obviously everyone needs at least one shower a day, deodorant, brushing teeth, washing hair, basic grooming. Laying around on the couch, covered and surrounded by potato chip crumbs and drinking beer----that'd be pretty disgusting. But I am disgusted by laziness whether you're a super model or a slob; it's not what someone looks like as much as what someone does that makes me love them or grosses me out.

Well.... within reason & the confines of good health, no I do not care what my Husband looks like.

He looked like heart-throb when we met, and although older now and a tad heavier & has less hair, I still think he is the bomb.

Throughout my life, I have not dated guys... because of their looks.
I have turned down many GOOD looking guys, because I was not impressed with them. And my friends would think I was crazy.... because all the girls wanted to date them because they were, so good looking.

I had also gone out with guys, that others would consider to be.... not good looking at all.
I had also gone out with guys, that were VIP's, a professional skateboarder etc.

It really does not matter, how good looking a guy is or not.
It is, in the eye of the beholder.

For me, personality is counted more.

Of course Ephie... if my husband or anyone I cared about, let themselves go... really in a bad way.... I would tell them.
Gaining too much weight, not cutting their hair... not keeping up with personal hygiene... is to me... not about 'looks' but about... MENTAL issues.

I love my husband so much, no matter what he looks like he will always be sexy to me! For the wives that nitpick about their husband's looks/hair/beard/ etc., are you comfortable with HIM doing the same to YOU? Would it bother you if he told you how to wear your hair or told you your clothes are unattractive? I think we need to be careful about that kind of nitpicking in a marriage! As far as hygiene though (showering, brushing teeth, etc.), yes, that is important to me! It's never been a problem with my husband luckily!

It matters if he lets himself go and isn't healthy. If he is stuffing his face and being lazy, quits showering/poor hygiene and gets sick or has poor health from his own neglect.. yes, it matters. Not only for his physical health, but I would question his mental health/depression and we would have to combat it.

Aside from that, it doesn't matter, (okay some fashion sense is nice though!). My dad was seriously disfigured due to cancer and surgeries, so I am prepared to love no matter what. Aging, a little weight gain, wrinkles, balding and what not comes with age and is what I love about growing old w my man. Staunch bodily neglect, that is something that would need to be dealt with out of love for my spouse's well being.

No, not really. Do I wish that my hubby would care a little more about his weight? Yes. Does it affect how much I am attracted to him? No.
I do care what he wears. He dresses himself really nice for work, but for the longest time he was wearing blue jean shorts and raggy tshirts every day. I got sick of it and took him shopping for khaki shorts and polos. He loved it and has kept it up.
He shaves his beard every day and makes sure that his ears/nose are clean and hair-free and clips his nails reguarly. This is all I can ask for! Lol.
I ♥ that man! :)

i suppose there is a "line" where if someone doesn't look like the person you fell in love with, it might get in the way...and yes, i expect him to keep his hair and hygeine maintained lol. i mean if it gets to the point where it's embarrassing to be seen with him, then yeah, that would be a HUGE turnoff. but as far as (normal) weight gain and loss, forgetting to shower one day in seven, not ironing a shirt, well neither of us has any room to quibble about that...i think there is wiggle room definitely...but there are definite lines that shouldn't be crossed...and those are probably slightly different for everyone...

My husband pushes it too far when he wears his favorite oh-so-soft but full of holes sleeping t shirt. I think the last time I counted, it had 25 holes in it. Not joking.

I want to burn it.

Other than that, I'm pretty easy going. Of course, I'm very lucky that he's got gorgeous lashes, is always pretty clean and is outrageously funny, so not much else bothers me. I can't think of anything he could change of himself that would affect my feelings for him.

My husband is so ugly when he's mean and angry. He looks beautiful when he's my loving husband and a caring daddy to our boys.

People's looks change to me. And the longer I know an 'aesthetically different' person who is just wonderful, the better looking physically they become to me.

Although, I do expect my husband to keep himself clean and not wear embarrassing outfits (like socks and sandals!).

I still love him to pieces when he has a haircut I'm not in love with, a few extra pounds from drinking too much beer, some extra greying hairs, a pimple on his forehead..... I love him the same as always.

HOWEVER, when he's got that amazing haircut, beautiful glowing tanned skin, a healthy looking body, and one of those outfits that just looks amazing on his butt/chest/everything... then I really can't keep my hands off of him! When he goes to work looking like that I think about him all day :) I'm not even sure he knows which days those are, but I sure do. It's just one of those things....
I try to do the same for him. Every so often I want him to do a double take on me the same way I do on him.... and I know sometimes he does ;)

Yes there is a too far, on both our parts. And yes, we care about how each other look. If my husband decided he is going to stop his every other week hair cut... We will have a problem, if he gains weight, im not concerned, I like big men, but if he was to start losing weight and be real skinny, i would have a problem. If I was to gain allot of weight and I wasnt pregnant, he would have a problem.. Hygiene, on our both our parts is expected. I like for my man to look good and I like to look good for him also. My husband likes for me to get my nails and feet done, and keep my hair cut and styled. I told my husband, as he is going on 34, I dont mind salt and pepper look, I like it, but I hate... HATE a receding hair line, so we will cross that bridge when we come to it.. But Yes, its important. And whoever says it isnt... Is lying. You dont want to walk around the mall and walmart, and go places with somebody if it lookes like they dont take care of them self.

I'm not to picky on how my husband looks like. Even though he's skinny,I do sometimes want him to gain some weight. Other than that nothing really bothers me.

I still love him even after all these years and all the pounds he has gained. I still love him when he gets a bad hair cut and it always grows out and gives him another chance. I love him when he grows a mustache, and when he doesnt shave for a couple days. I complain about the whisker burn, and he shaves that day.
What I dont like is when he takes off his hat in public and doesnt seem to mind that his hair is sticking up funny (hat head) and I point it out and he says "so what".. And when he pulls out a shirt that is too worn out, or wrinkled and I dont want him to wear it to work. I feel its a reflection on him and some might even say on my ability to do laundry well. I want him to look his best, especially at a professional job. He is willing to find another nicer shirt then. I still love him, but now and then point out a problem, but never his weight, never his looks. Hes too darn cute anyway. I think I will try to change my profile picture and let you all see.

I don't care about weight. I looove him regardless if he's fat or not. My hisband is big on dressing nice and smelling good so I don't ever have to say anything. The only thing that bothers me is when his hair grows out but I do have a reason. My husband shaves his head (well a zero all over) and I don't like it when it gets longer because he looks like his dad and I personally can't stand his dad! I sure don't want to love on my husband when he looks like him :)

Yes it matters. It is a matter of self respect.

I may not be leaving the house on a daily basis because I work at home but I shower and get myself ready daily. I have pride in my looks and hubby does as well .

That's a more complicated question than it sounds like. As much as I would love to say I wouldn't care at all... I do care to some extent. I don't dress my husband, I don't mind if he grows a beard or is clean-shaven, and I don't mind if he's gained a few extra pounds (he's the one that'll point it out) because he's the same wonderful man that I married. If he gained a lot of weight and it meant that we couldn't do a lot of things we used to do or it meant that he was depressed and kinda self-destructive then you bet I would care! Luckily we've never had an issue. :)

I think April C. said it best.

I do, of course, expect (as he does) my mate to be clean and hygienic.

Otherwise, I love him AS IS, as he does me. :)

As long as he doesn't smell so bad that I can't stand to be near him, and as long as he doesn't get so heavy that we can't get the necessary anatomical features together to make love, I'm not concerned with appearances.
He dresses himself. He loves loud Hawaiian shirts - I think they're hideous. But his clothes are his choice. I wouldn't allow him to pick out my clothes, and I don't expect to pick out his.

Do I LIKE it when he looks good? Sure. Do I REQUIRE it? No.

I am such a rotten wife...DH has always wanted to grow his hair long. He tries every now and again. And I say no, no, NOOOO, HECK NO!

I do not have an issue w/ long hair on men...but long hair on my DH would look horrible. Like Yanni-horrible. W/ a bigger face. And glasses. It would look RIDICULOUS. He sees men w/ hair like he wants and I have to say to him: "yes, Sweetie, that looks nice-but he does not have crazy thick, wavy hair like you do.".

*Sigh*.

Other than that and a few shirts (that don't fit) that I hate, I accept him as he is. :)

I care. About all of that. I make sure I look good for my partner and I expect the same in return. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a drill sargeant at the gym or anything...but personal hygiene, weight, overall appearance...has to be on point. We are only young for so long...attraction is huge. Just my opinion.

Yes, I do care how he looks. He doesn't need to wear expensive designer clothes, but I do have to tell him sometimes to get rid or clothes that are looking old and worn out. I'm glad he's not the kind of guy that is always checking himself out in his reflections or the mirror. But I do get bothered if he hasn't shaved or gotten a haircut in a while. Most importantly, I just want him to look clean. I think everyone, men/women, should take a little pride in their appearance, without going overboard.
Weight gain would bother me if it got to be excessive. That becomes a health issue. But I definitely would not worry about things that are beyond his control like a receding hair line or gray hair.

My husband is more critical of his own looks than I could ever be...I have never said anything to my husband regarding his looks unless he asks my opinion.

He knows he wears his hair shorter than I like it...but there is less of it and he will eventually shave it. I think bald men are sexy, so no problem there.

He dressed the way he likes and he always looks neat and put together...so no problems there.

He has gained weight sense we married...but he is so conscious about it and trying so hard to lose it...I never mention it and it doesn't even bother me.

He has great personal hygiene.

Too far would be if he stopped bathing, put on like 100 pounds, and never got out of gyms shorts and ratty t-shirts. I don't see that happening...but yes, there could be a too far.

I work hard to stay attractive to him and he wants to be attractive to me.

I do care what my hubby looks like. But whats nice for me is, that my hubby cares alot about what he looks like too so he spends time shaving to make sure its done thoroughly, always wears deodorant both morning, and night so he always smells good, wears clothes that fit him well and look nice. On and on. He does it for himself which is great because that is for me too. I like that I dont have to tell him to do all of that. He cares about his appearance so he always tries to look his best.

I dont care if he gains weight, or wants to join a gym. If wants to grow out his hair a little now because he couldn't before (He was in the Army) or if he wants to try growing facial hair. Thats okay by me. I prefer him clean shaven but its just a little thing, and if thats what he wants then go for it.
Supporting his little things goes a long way. I love him no matter what!

nope, I do not care how much my husband weighs. We aren't going to have our little teenage bodies forever (we were 19 when we met). I have gained some being hypothyroid and even though I feel just horrible about it, he tells me to stop putting myself down and that he thinks I look great. He was a marine and in great shape when we met. That was 11 years ago. I still love him no matter what he weighs.
It would bother me if he stopped cutting his hair. He has black frizzy hair and when it grows, it just poofs straight out, lol! Lucky for me though, he hates having his hair long. He has me buzz it 2 times a month for him
My husband is a horrible dresser. He admits it too. He won't go shopping for clothes, he has me do it for him. I don't mind either.
I tell him, I don't care what he wears at home, as long as when we go out, he looks a little better (no holes in his shirt and just try to match)

Sadly - yes... I'm a person who enjoys seeing attractive people, and touching them even more!!

My husband is very strong with good muscle tone and athletic - simply due to his physical job - I LOVE that! If he were to gain 70-100lbs, I can't guarantee I'd still find him attractive. I cut his hair when his hair gets to be too long for me - he looks goofy with outgrown hair. His facial hair, I love because he looks so young when he's clean shaven. I tend to trim and shave the facial areas to clean him up a bit if we are going someplace nice.

He's been getting gray and white hair since we started dating, but if he went 30% or more gray, I'd ask him to dye his hair. He's very good about hygiene - better than I am actually LOL so I doubt that would be an issue.

Clothing... I buy him the clothes I feel look great on him, he could care less what he wears. He'd wear things that don't match, are very wrinkled, etc if I let him - which I DO let him if we aren't going out somewhere together ;)