Does Your Husband Have a Say in Cutting Your Hair?

Updated on March 18, 2011
A.A. asks from Nashville, TN
79 answers

Just wondering how many womens husbands have a say if there wife can cut their hair? I have a 2 1/2 year old and fixing to have another baby in sept. I used to always have a short hair cut like what victoria bekhams hair cut is and i loved it. It was so easy to take care of and style in the morning. This last year i have been growing my hair out in 3 inch.past my shoulders and i want my short hair style back since i always have my hair in a pony tail. I told my husband i want to cut it and hes like no way. So wondering how manys husband say if they can cut there hair or not and im going to let my husband read the answers to this. I told him he is being controlling!

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for your comments. I let my husband read them and he realized he was wrong:) He prefers long hair but when i had it short before he did like it but does like longer hair better. But im going to do what pleases me and what works better for me:) thank you all.

Featured Answers

L.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Ha! Absolutely not. My husband has no say in how I cut or style my hair whatsoever. If he absolutely hated it, I might *consider* another style, but unless he'd like to act like my private hairdresser on a daily basis, washing, blow-drying and styling my hair for me, he gets no say. Luckily, he says he likes it however I do it. (Good answer, honey!)

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L.M.

answers from New York on

I value my husband's opinion and I'm open to his suggestions. However, he does not tell me how to wear my hair and even if he did, I wouldn't listen to him.

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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

NOPE!! I'm not married but had a couple of BFs who wanted to tell me how to dress and how to wear my hair. And they wonder why they are EX-BOYFRIENDS. My hair my body if you don't like it good -bye.

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M.L.

answers from Houston on

I am a stylist and many, many woman won't cut their hair to please their husbands. I always thought that was a tragedy... until I became one of them! He loves my hair longer, but he still supports me if i want to change it though.

There is a difference in a husband preferring a cut and hoping you keep it, and one who won't 'allow' you to change your style. I've seen both. One is healthy in that they think you are beautiful the way you are, the other is not and is controlling your appearance. So, really, it just depends on which one your husband is doing.

Really though, if my husband wanted a crazy drastic change, like a green mullet, I'd say "Hell no!". Does that make me controlling? Maybe. But I don't think that is on the same level as a man telling a woman she can't have layers or cut several inches off, or wear the color yellow or whatever like some pigs I've met.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

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L.B.

answers from San Francisco on

HELL NO! My hair, my choice! Now if he asked me nicely not to cut it I might take that into consideration but would still do what I needed. I absolutely love my husband but I can't imagine him thinking he could tell me what I could or couldn't do with my hair. Tell your husband welcome to the 21st century babe.

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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

Nope. I am not his property or a minor child that cannot make such decisions by myself.
As a matter of fact I know my husband likes long hair and tells me on occasion he'd love if I'd wore it longer - but who the heck has time for that...the styling and blow drying and such, certainly not me.
I told my husband that if the length of my hair affects how he feels about me after 8 years of marriage and a kid, there is something seriously wrong with our relationship. I think he got the message.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

No.
My Husband does not have a say in it. Sure, he can give an opinion on it.
But he cannot dictate how I cut my hair.
It is my hair.

I don't have a say in his hair... which is now pretty much not there.
I liked his long hair. He buzzed it. So what.

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C.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

Seriously?!?!?! I don't even think this needs a response. Tell him to take a flying leap!!!!!

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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

Maybe when I am drooling and living in a home.

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M.F.

answers from Phoenix on

While I know my husband likes my hair long, he would never tell me "no" if I wanted to change it. I agree with you that he's being controlling. It's your hair, do what you want and what will make your life easier.

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

Heck no. My hair, my choice.

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A.F.

answers from St. Cloud on

No way! He has no say in how I have my hair. I love my husband and value his input, but it's my hair and I will cut or grow it to the length that I enjoy, can manage, and look great in!

The same goes for him. I can offer suggestions, but it's his hair!

In response to Gee, no way in HELL would I have shaved bald to "get him to put a ring" on me. That's kind of offensive that people would think that women are so pathetic that they have to be a certain way to "catch" a man.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Nope. But I don't have a say about his hair either. It was quite a shock when he shaved off his mustache after 20 years. I got use to it being gone eventually, but I felt sad for awhile. I married that mustache and was rather attached to it. He decided to get rid of it because it was showing more gray and he didn't want to bother about coloring it.

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C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

ok if he is just expressing his opinion, fine - i think it's safe to say WE definitely have an opinion about how they cut their hair! but in the end i hope he realizes it's YOUR choice. if he really does expect you to do it his way then yes, he's being a controlling chauvenist. in that case i would say CUT IT ALL OFF!! and to heck with 'im!

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S.R.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Are you kidding? I will ask his opinion but that it is, his opinion only, he doesn't have a final say either way. He really doesn't care what style it is. He does have an opinion however, when my roots start to show grey, he says it makes me look older and I agree, so I touch up my roots every 3-4 weeks and I feel better about my hair.

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G.T.

answers from Modesto on

Some women don't care what their husbands think so they do what they want.
Mine likes my hair long, so I keep it long for him, otherwise mine would probably be short too :)
If he would divorce you because you cut it THAT would be controlling, if he pouted because you cut it that would just be him letting you know he thinks it's prettier long.... and I'm sure he'd get over it.

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J.B.

answers from Houston on

I know you have resolved this, but I am on the other side so I thought I'd pipe in! I don't think he is being controlling, I think he just likes your hair :D My hubby loves long hair, so I keep mine long. I put layers in, highlights and all that jazz, but my hair is always long. He is just not a fan of short hair and I want to look great for him. I do like my hair long and I have come up with lots of cute ways to put it up and style it and sometimes I will leave it down. However left to my own devices I would probably chop it off! I don't do it bc he says I have to, I do it bc it makes him so happy.

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M.B.

answers from Houston on

ROFL, he can have an opinion, but HELL NO, he has ZERO say:)

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T.N.

answers from Albany on

If your husband (or any other) thinks real women are defined by the length of their HAIR, I would tell them what length WE use to define a real man!

Honestly! Are they ALL homophobic? And what can we do to keep our SONS from being the same way?!

:)

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A.S.

answers from Iowa City on

My hair, my choice. I may ask his opinion on what he thinks would look good (he'll say whatever you want, dear...no help at all) but the final decision is mine. If he tried to forbid me from cutting my hair there would be trouble in paradise to say the least. Now if he requested nicely I would probably appease him.

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L.S.

answers from Spokane on

My husband tells me that I'm beautiful no matter what my hair looks like. He has more important things to worry about than my hair! lol

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B.

answers from Augusta on

I usually as his input cause I generally like to have it the way he likes it.
I like for him to like my hair.
but that's me.

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

My husband hates short hair, but he knows better than to tell me not to cut it. The last time someone told me not to do something to my hair, I bleached it. :-)

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

"CAN" cut their hair....? Sorry--stopped reading at that point. :)

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Y.C.

answers from New York on

When my husband met me I had long blonde hair. After a couple years I went back to my natural hair color and keep it that way since then, my hair was very healthy and super shiny. One day my husband told me he liked my hair color when we met so I decide to do go back to blondish. I don't know what I did wrong this time or what I did right before, but my hair got soo damaged.
My husband took me to a salon so they help me fix it, $150 dollars later my hair was orange!
I finally went back to dark brown and my hair start look better, next time he wants a blonde in the family I know a place where HE can go and get it, lol.

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M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I used to dye my hair blonde and wear it long, that's how it was when we met. When I went away to college, I cut it shorter and died it my natural color (a light brown) and he made a face. I know he likes it longer and blonder, but I dont have the same funds set aside for hair that I did when I was kid and bill-free! So I do ask what he likes better, and if it suits me, then sure I'll take his opinion. But I don't always. It's my head and I have to manage it :)

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M.B.

answers from St. Louis on

My husband doesnt want my daughter or me to have short hair. I got her hair cut short while he was out of town and he was pisssssed!

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hello. It's my hair. He can cut his how he wants it. He has no say in mine.

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K.P.

answers from Seattle on

I like to talk to him about it, just so he feels included but if I want to cut it then I get the say and he just has to deal with it. Your hair not his, so too bad! And its easier to have your hair short especially with young kids. You dont have time to spend fixing your hair all the time. You will be with the kids taking care of them so you know how it is, he doesnt.

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S.L.

answers from San Francisco on

Uhhhhhh, NO! I have always worn mine long, though, because when I was young my mom made me wear it short, always, a la Mia Farrow in Rosemary's Baby...or the dreaded Dorothy Hamill : )

So now I wear it long, straight, and the same red as it was when I was a child. I would never change it for anyone. My point in answering, though, is that my DH's ex-wife, when they were married, insisted he wear his hair extremely close-shaved to his head. He still was wearing it that way when we met, and I was so surprised to see what a beautiful curly head of hair he had when he grew it out. It was like finding out he was even cuter than I thought ; )

I feel sad for him for all the years that he wore a style which just wasn't "him." I think you have to do what's best for you, and what makes you feel beautiful. (Sorry for the novel--and congratulations on your baby!)

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D.M.

answers from Denver on

My husband likes my hair long but does not tell me what to do with it. He recognizes that long hair + baby = too much work (plus tangled and yanked hair). He accepts that I'll do what makes sense TO ME with my own hair.

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B..

answers from Dallas on

No. My husband doesn't care, he think it looks good however I get it done. I think your husband needs to adopt that attitude. Do you what you want!! Opinion is one thing, demanding is entirely another. There is NO way my husband would try to control how I look.

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A.S.

answers from Spokane on

My husband certainly has his style preference (short!) and I do take that into account but he can't "require" or "command" that I style it a certain way. For a long time I kept it longer just because I like to be able to pull it back and put pretties in it. I kept it short in the military for so long that I didn't want it short! :D I do have short right now just because I haven't had the time to really take care of it longer (and because it makes my DH ecstatic. :D)

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A.H.

answers from San Francisco on

He doesn't want a say. To him it falls in the same category as, say, home decor or baby shower planning.

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K.L.

answers from Nashville on

I had a similar situation....I had always had short hair (was short when I started dating my husband). After dating for some time, he asked if I would let my hair grow and I did (mostly because our wedding was coming up and I felt I needed longer hair for a wedding do). After my son was born, having longer hair was too much work. I would mention cutting my very long hair and I could literally almost see my husband's heart rate increase and tears in his eyes. Finally, on my birthday last year I made it a present to myself and went and chopped my hair off. I got home and he LOVED it! It is just hair....you are the one that has to manage it....do what makes you feel good. He will either accept it....or get over it!

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M.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Wow-...um, no-no he doesn't. And I cannot believe that in 2011 a woman would not be 'allowed' to cut her hair. I am hoping your husband is the picture of perfection in every way-because only someone like that should have the right to judge another by their looks.

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K.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I got a kick out of this post because I'm currently in the same boat. Over the 13 years that we have been together my husband has never cared about the length of my hair and I've gone to all extremes. But I mentioned chopping my long hair (probably longer than it's been ever) and he asked me not to. Weird. Not controlling or demanding, just a nice, "oh it looks good long, you shouldn't cut it."

But the kicker is my 5 yr old son tells me over and over not to cut my hair. I guess it's because that's all he's known because I've been growing it out since he was 2. Great. So now I've got two men in my household to please.

Of course, does anybody notice when I actually wash, dry and style it? No. The babysitter does! I will cut it one of these days, but am flattered they care.

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L.L.

answers from Topeka on

No not ever...It's not his to have a say,nor do I tell him he has to clean up his facial hair which he does without me saying :)

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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I love my hubby dearly but he told me once not to cut my hair and that next day it was gone. I got a very short bob. He would prefer I grow it long, I hate long hair. I keep it between the chin and shoulder.

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P.R.

answers from New York on

Yes , my hubby has a say -its NO for me & my 2 girls . It is just a trim no styling .

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M.E.

answers from Norfolk on

ABSOLUTELY NOT!! Lol, I LOVE my short hair, it is short like Pink's. My husband hates short hair, hates it. I've grown it out just for him before, but I couldn't keep it because I always had it in a pony tail and it felt like too much weight and too hot, so I cut it. He deals with it and instantly notices when I get it recut by saying little stuff like "I see you cut your hair again". I told him I love my hair short and when he met me my hair was short, so he's just going to have to deal with it because I'm comfortable with it and it's me. With long hair, I feel I have no "me" and with short hair I am "me". He has fussed every now and then, especially when we get around his friends or he sees Beyonce on tv.."ooh, I love her hair" hint, hint. I just keep it moving. Do what you want, if it makes you comfortable, I say do it. No one should have to feel like they have to tip toe around their spouse.

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M.G.

answers from Dallas on

Since he's the one looking at me, and he's the only one whose opinion matters that is looking at me, then I certainly ask him. He does the same for me. It doesn't mean I don't tell him what I'm thinking I might like to change. He's going to go along with anything anyway, but I can tell what he prefers, so I do what he prefers.

If he told me he absolutely didn't want me to cut my hair off, I certainly would not. He is my husband, and there's nothing wrong with him telling me what he does and doesn't like on me (just like there's nothing wrong with me telling him the same). It's part of a marriage ~ the meaning of marriage in any context is two becoming one.

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E.M.

answers from Honolulu on

Well I let my husband have a say. I like long hair though, like 3 feet long... I need a trim of 6 inches but I keep my hair French braided almost 24/7 so it is no hassle to me.

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K.U.

answers from Detroit on

Except when I was getting married and growing it out some for our wedding, I have always had short hair (like, pixie cut short). It was short when I met DH and even though he once admitted he didn't care for short hair on women, it didn't stop him from being attracted to me and wanting to ask me out. 11 years later, he knows there is no way I will ever not have short hair - it's very fine and just does not grow out easily or have much style. I think I actually look better with the short hair!

You might want to ask him what it is that made him say that - most men associate long hair with femininity and he probably doesn't realize it can be a pain to deal with long hair in the morning. If he's never seen you any other way, he may just not like the idea of change. But in the end, it's your hair and you are the one who has to deal with it. If you do get it cut, what is he going to do, divorce you?

EDITED TO ADD: Some have argued that he should have a say about your appearance if you want to have a say about his, but really, it should be about what is most flattering, as well as personal preference. I look better with short hair. My DH also looks better with short hair as well as NO facial hair. There was a time way before we met when he looked like he belonged in Motley Crue - yes, it was the 80s, and yes, he actually permed his hair! Then there was when he sported a mustache because he thought it made him look older (again, before we met), but really, it totally detracted from his appearance (I've seen the pics and I can't believe it is him!). If he told me he was going to grow a mustache again, I would tell him he's insane! :)

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C.W.

answers from Shreveport on

Mine has a say just like I have as say in him having facial hair. I prefer him with his mustache and he prefers me with long hair. I love my hair long so it works out great.
So yes he can have a say just not the final say. Just make sure that if there is something you prefer with him that you give him the same courtesy.

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L.!.

answers from Austin on

My husband thinks short hair (especially anything like a "boy cut") is not attractive on women. It's his preference... Of course, I would like him to find me attractive--and if longer hair helps him look past the few pounds from pregnancy, wrinkles around my eyes and saggy boobs, O'kay!! I'm not trying to attract anyone else; I just want to look my best for him. If he wants longer hair, I'll keep it long.

Now, on the flip side, I don't really find beards and mustaches attractive. I prefer a clean shaven man... And he keeps himself clean shaven for me. I'm sure it's a pain for him to have to shave everyday. But I appreciate the effort and try to reciprocate by dealing with longer hair.

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G.R.

answers from San Diego on

When u were trying to get him to put a ring on it you would of shaved it bald if he asked. Now that your married you shouldn't disregard his opinion. I love it when my husband gives his opinion. I want him to think I look cute as well!

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K.P.

answers from Memphis on

[I haven't read any responses, so forgive me if I repeat what others may have said.]

My husband much prefers long hair too. I've always had long hair (i.e., at least shoulder-length and usually longer), but one time, after we knew each other but before we started dating), I chopped my hair off, donating it to Locks of Love. Needless to say, it was short. We weren't in the same area at the time, so by the next time he saw me, it had grown out somewhat (a little below chin-length), and he didn't like it. Of course he didn't say anything then, but after we were dating for a while, he said that it was too short and that he was glad I was growing it out. And just about any time a woman or young lady we knew cut off her hair, he would always say it was too short and wonder aloud why she would chop off her hair when it was so pretty long. So, knowing that, I wouldn't cut my hair shorter than about shoulder length. Not only do I like that length myself, but I know it is the strong preference of my husband, and I want to please him.

I think most men like for women to have long hair. It's kind of funny, though, because my brother falls into that category, but when he met his wife, she had short hair, kind of like what I think you're describing (a feminine cut, but rather close-cropped). At first he wanted her to grow it out because he prefers long hair, but then, perhaps just because she "didn't look like herself", perhaps because it was in the awkward in-between stage where it's hard to take care of and make look good, *he* suggested she cut her hair short like she used to have it. :-)

No, I don't think your husband is being controlling. I think he's stating his simple preference, and you would be wise to lovingly and graciously accommodate him (just as you would like for him to try to please you in certain matters). He obviously thinks you are prettier with long hair, so why would you want to make yourself less attractive in his eyes?

Perhaps you can find some hair-styles and styling tips/tricks for your hair length that doesn't involve a ponytail, but are easy to do.

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H.S.

answers from Johnson City on

Yes, your husband is being incredibly controlling.

My hair is my own, and I can cut it in any style I so choose. The same goes for my husband. Sure, we both have opinions on which hairstyles compliment each person more, but neither one of us would tell the other one they could not cut their hair. That's ridiculous.

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R.U.

answers from Nashville on

we are both in the same boat. i like my hair really short. it is easy, cooler and i just like it that way. well i am now at the stage where it looks really bad all the time. the hubby likes it and so do some of my kids. they don't care that i hate it. i feel frumpy all the time even when i dress up. i am doing it for them. not my self. just doesn't seem right. i know if i told my hubby i wanted him to grow his out he would say no way. something about this picture just doesn't seem right. R.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

My husband has a preference for longer hair, but it is ultimately my hair and I do what I want to it.

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T.B.

answers from Miami on

At first I thought this was supposed to be a trick question. You are serious, though. Right? Oh my gosh, if my husband told me I couldn't cut my hair, I'd tell him to go fly a kite. Seriously. Yes, we are to respect and love our husbands but he is not to be a dictator to how we wear our hair. Yes, he's being very controlling and that is a very ugly trait to have.

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J.C.

answers from Rockford on

Your post made me giggle because I remember my aunt had long hair for years and years. When she got a bit older she decided it was time to go, so she got it cut to just below shoulder length. It looked great and was perfect for her age. When my uncle got home he had a fit! He told her he hated it and was going to divorce her, lol! My aunt just laughed it off, plus, it was her hair and she did not want to be a slave to it any more. It's not as though she could put it back on, and was not about to let it grow out again as it took years to get it that long in the first place. Well, he got over it and they never got divorced. He still loved her just the same!

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K.L.

answers from Des Moines on

My husband has told me tons of times that he doesn't like short hair, but he has also told me that I can cut my hair any way I want to. I have cut it short and while I wish I could like it that way, I always end up missing my long hair. We have a 6 year old and one coming in Sept. I would love to like my hair short...I just don't! I always cut it in the summer because it's so freaking thick! But, in the end, I just want my long hair back...and my hubby likes it that way!

S.J.

answers from St. Louis on

Hubby refuses to let me cut my hair - normally I wouldn't just "do" what he says, but I am only out to impress him, so if long hair on me is what he likes, I keep it. Good luck!

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M.T.

answers from New York on

He only has a say if you allow him to. My husband made the mistake of thinking he had some say over my hair before we were married. At this point, (married 20 years), I don't even mention to him that I'm getting a haircut. I dont' really make any drastic changes, but I wouldn't feel obligated to mention a change in style or color to him beforehand. The fact that you told your husband before you did it makes it sound like you were looking for his approval, and that's probably how he took it.

L.L.

answers from Nashville on

My husband likes longer hair and wants me to grow it out but says it is my hair and as long as it isn't so short I look boyish he is fine.

J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Yes and no.
He likes it long, and I showed him a style where it's in the middle of what my preference is and his. He loved it, no big deal.
If he had is completely his way it would be down to my butt again, but he knows i'm not happy with it and I never do anything with it when it's that long. When it's just past my shoulders he loves that I am able to curl it nice or straighten it and style it. So we reached a happy medium. I mean if I wanted it shorter there's nothing he can say about it though, but I don't like it really short either.
When we first met (and were just friends) I had a longer a-line cut and at the longest fell right at my shoulders. He still thought I was hot, but just likes it longer.
I choose to keep it at a length we both like. I should also mention he wears his hairstyle and his facial hair the way I like it. So for us it goes both ways, it's just preference.
To me it's no different then buying something sexy to wear for him, and in *our* relationship we're literally talking a matter of 2 or 3 inches of being long enough for him and short enough for me. So it's not a huge deal, lol.

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F.W.

answers from Miami on

This reminds me of my dad's friend. His wife had really long hair but always wore it up in a bun, I don't think he insisted that she keep it long (maybe he did) but they were SO in love and I do think she kept it long for him. Sadly he died suddenly and a couple of months later she cut her hair short.

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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Sarah,

Your man probably likes the long hair (many men do), however he loved you when you had shorter hair so I suspect he will still love you. What needs to be said is that you are about to have a second child and will not have a LOT of ME time on your hands. Do you tell you husband how and when to cut hair? Will he be able to take charge of the kids while your taking care of you LONG HAIR? Does your husband "rule the roost" or do you have a equal relationship?

Blessings......

Updated

Sarah,

Your man probably likes the long hair (many men do), however he loved you when you had shorter hair so I suspect he will still love you. What needs to be said is that you are about to have a second child and will not have a LOT of ME time on your hands. Do you tell you husband how and when to cut hair? Will he be able to take charge of the kids while your taking care of you LONG HAIR? Does your husband "rule the roost" or do you have a equal relationship?

Blessings......

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K.E.

answers from Jacksonville on

You have a ton of answers...but here's my thoughts....:)

When I think about a new style, I always ask my husband for his opinion.....I usually show him some pics of what I am thinking or tell him what length I am thinking....He will usually give me his thoughts and opinions about them and tell me if he thinks the style would look good or not.....I want his opinion because I want to look good for me and for him......Ultimately, I take all of his thoughts and my thoughts and come to a decision on what to get done. I've always wanted to try really short (pixie) and he's said he would still find me attractive even though it wouldn't be his favorite style. I haven't done it yet and not sure I ever will.....I've never had really short hair (never past my chin) and I'm scared I would hate it and it would take a long time to grow back out! So even with his support, I still make the decision myself based on what is comfortable for me.

Now, I do not allow him to dictate my style or to tell me yes or no when getting it done....That is controlling......WHICH I DON'T think your husband is...I think he was caught off guard by a style that he may have thought you retired and he was loving the length of your hair. Sometimes men say things that sound so ridiculous, but they really just mean that they think you look great the way you are now and don't think a change is in order.

If you feel a change is in order and want to go back to something simple and easy before the new baby comes, by all means, go for it! It might be nice to sit him down with some pics and have him give you ratings for each so that you can include him in on the decision.....I know my husband loves it because he feels that I respect his thoughts and ideas about something so personal to me.

Just my thoughts......Take care!

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A.M.

answers from Dallas on

If your husband said he wanted to shave his head bald, or grow it out and wear it in a pony tail, or do anything else that you would deem "unattractive" would you keep your mouth shut about it?

M.P.

answers from Provo on

My ex hates long hair (i'm using my ex because i'm a single mom and there is a chance that we might be getting together again). I just drastically cut my hair (15 inches!) while he and I still weren't talking to each other. He isn't a fan, but I don't care. Now if we were to get married, I would take it into consideration, but he wouldn't have the final say. I would probably do the 10 inches that Lock of Love requires instead of the 15.

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M.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

My husband says that I look much better with longer hair, he just told me the other day that he doesn't care what color it is, if it is curly, straight frizzy or dreads just as long as I keep it at least should length and I told him I was fine with that. I do like his opinion on it, I would like it shorter because it is easier to take care of, but I also look at it this way if I have it short (Victoria Beckhams old bob style) then I have to do my hair everyday even if I don't feel like doing it and I have to keep ontop of maintenance with the cut and color.

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

My husband wears his hair the way he likes it and I wear mine the way I like it.

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K.B.

answers from San Antonio on

I would have to say no, my hubby doesn't have a say in how I wear my hair. I prefer shorter hair (I have fine hair and once it gets to a certain length it's not as flattering) and he likes it either way. I grew it our 4 years ago for our wedding ( mid back) and the week after we got back I cut it off to about chin length. He really just cares how it makes me feel. Right now it's brushing my shoulders and it's driving me CRAZY! Gonna go next week and get it cut, might even add highlights and surprise him.
I say do what makes you feel good about yourself, because I firmly feel that if you don't feel good about yourself you can't please someone else.

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W.M.

answers from Nashville on

They should have an opinion of what they like but they do NOT get to tell you if you can cut it. He should think you are beautiful no matter what your hair looks like. maybe you can compromise in the middle, cut it to above your shoulders in the front and let it step to the back and really short in the back like I have seen many new styles.

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M.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

Yes, well I guess he's the one I want to impress the most, so I always ask him how he would like me to have it cut/colored before I go to the salon.

M.R.

answers from Rochester on

My husband just informed me that a husband should have as much say in his wife's appearance as she has in his--so if a wife tells her husband he can't grow a beard, he can tell her how to wear her hair.

I'm lucky that my husband prefers my hair pretty short. It is getting really shaggy now and close the point where he'll start asking me when I'm cutting it off. He likes long hair on women who look best with long hair (like Monica Bellucci), and short hair on women who look best with short hair (Jamie Lee Curtis). I look better with short hair. I think it is most appropriate to check with your spouse before making any kind of drastic change to your appearance--you have to live with it and he has to look at you. My husband is also lucky that I love his winter mountain man beard and I love the shaved look in the summer--I guess we can't complain about each other. If my husband despised my hair short I'd probably try to grow it out for him, but it would be tough.

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

No, just like I don't have a say as to how he gets his hair cut or if he has facial hair.

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C.J.

answers from Milwaukee on

I read just a few but this makes me laugh. It's VERY basic, men LOVE long hair. It's just the way they are. Ask 10 men on the street and 9 out of 10 will say they prefer long hair. :)

I have the oddest husband. He never says something looks bad but then again he never says anything looks good either. That probably explains why we've been together for 25 years!

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J.M.

answers from Lexington on

He is absolutely controlling. Do you get a say on when he gets his hair cut? My husband has complained before that he didn't like my hair short but has never told me that I can't cut it. When he makes the complaints I just remind him that it's my head and I'm the one that has to get up early and do something with it everyday. I told him once that if he wanted my hair to be long then he can plan on getting up early and washing and styling it for me each morning. Of course, that's not gonna happen! Never said a word about it since.

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A.R.

answers from Dallas on

Does he get to make the decision? No. Do I take his opinion into consideration when I cut my hair? Absolutely. I love him, and I want him to find me attractive, and I value his opinion.

However, I struck a deal with him 7 years ago. I won't cut my daughter's hair without his permission and he won't get upset if I decide to cut my hair short. I got the good end of the deal because now that cute little baby girl is a 7 year old with very definite ideas about her hair, and daddy is wrapped around her finger and can't tell her no even when she wants to cut it, lol.

M.P.

answers from Lafayette on

i ask my fiance what he thinks. i don't let him have the final say, unless its a money issue (he is supporting me right now). but now that i have a friend who will do it for next to nothing, i will keep dying my hair and getting it cut how i want it. I do ask him about the length and style, just because i don't really care what its like, and i need an opinion from someone, and he's who i talk to the most...

L.L.

answers from Rochester on

My husband refuses to let me cut my hair short. I prefer it about chin length, a little shorter, because it's very curly and unruly, but he likes it long. He has Bible verses to back up long hair on women, so on and so forth.

Now, of course, I could just go get it cut...but it wouldn't make him happy and who do I want to look good for? Him...so, I don't cut it. I pull it up a lot. :)

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D.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

I gotta say I would do what looks best on you, not what's easier to take care of. I know some will disagree with my opinion but do what's most flattering on you. Some other posters do have a good point with the facial hair thing. If you have a say in his facial hair then maybe it's fair that he has a say in your hair legnth. good luck!

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S.L.

answers from Lexington on

your hair is YOURS. If you want to shave your head bald, your husband really has no right to tell you otherwise. He may ask that you consider his wishes, but ultimately he cannot control your body (of which your hair is a part). Another issue - you are the one caring for the children - anything you can do to make your life easier should be something he is glad to be part of.

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E.M.

answers from Louisville on

i dont know where men get the idea they can tell women how they can have their hair! my husband doesnt do it but i know guys who do thats so stupid. do what you want! I just asked my husband as he walked by and he goes why the hell would i care its your hair lol. Just like the song forever and ever amen.... im not in love with your hair if it all fell out i would love you anyway lol

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