Do You Discipline Your Child for Repitition After You Have Said No?

My kid does that every so often. But less now that she knows if she bugs me after I've said no, she'll lose whatever she's asking for for another day. If she bugs me about more TV after I said TV time is done. It's three strikes and you're out. The third time she asks I tell her not only is there no more TV today, but she doesn't get any tomorrow either because she won't stop asking after the answer was already given.

The next day when she asks to watch TV, I'd say, "No, because yesterday you repeatedly asked to continue watching TV after I had already said no and if you keep asking today, you'll lose out on TV tomorrow too."

Shuts her up pretty quick. It's important to follow through though. If you say NO TV TOMORROW because of the excessive badgering, then let her watch TV anyway, she'll know you're just full of empty threats and her behavior won't change.

We are now punishing her for this because it is ANNOYING and disrespectful. Plus, I want her to learn boundaries. Having an only child, I have been too lax in this area. I had a friend who sent them to their room the 2nd time, no exceptions. They are wonderfully behaved today and she can take them anywhere.

No, you're not being too harsh. That's exactly how I handle it. If she refuses to go to her room then an additional punishment is in order.
Is there any possibility of going out somewhere this afternoon? That might help her to get out of this loop.

I think your normal method is a great way to handle it. Try it now. Get some peace by her being in her room and quiet until she's decided she can stop asking.

That said, I think taking away a privlege or toy for repeated asking for something when an answer has already been given is fine, too. I just think I'd wait to start it when I'm not grumpy...

I dont think you are because I most certainly do the same thing. My answer is not optional, it is what it is, and thats that!

No. I don't. My answer doesn't change. When they ask again - I say "what was my answer before?" their response? "No." "Okay - what makes you think it has changed?"

The kids that continually ask know that if they ask enough the answer will change. My kids found out - no means no.

If you think it will help taking away a privilege then do it. Your answer should NEVER change for that question as long as she asks it today. Once you change your answer to the question, no matter how she words it, you have lost and she knows if pressed long enough - you will cave.

Yes. "DD, you have A or B. You cannot have C. To repeatedly ask me for C is wasting my time and rude. I have said no. Either drop it and find something else to do or I can put you in time out." I've also told DD that she watched her allotted TV for the morning and if she doesn't stop asking me for more, more, more, she will get no TV after dinner. I think sending her to her room for a bit is a valid response to the nagging.

Bugging and "begging" for the same thing repeatedly was something I just wouldn't put up with my kids.
For instance, if they asked me more than once about TV, I simply told them that I already said no and if they asked me again they would have no TV at all for the rest of the day or tomorrow either. And they knew I meant it because I only had to follow through a couple of times for them to see how bugging me for something was going to play out.
Kids often think that if you're sick, upset, or out of sorts in some way, that they can eventually wear you down. If you don't make your daughter understand that "no" the first time means NO, she will keep asking hoping you will change your mind or just get tired of it and give in.
Kids are kids. They are hoping that NO actually means "maybe".
If your daughter bugs you about TV, there is nothing at all wrong with taking it away.

That's just my opinion.

Yes I punish if my child keeps asking after I've asked them to stop asking.

I do the same thing. It is really annoying. I say, if you ask again you get X as your consequence. Then I give the consequence to my son if he asks again.

No you are not being too harsh; you are teaching her patience for the future. She will need to learn that NO means NO. Her friends in the future will not put up with this behavior as they will seek new friends.

In the work arena the more you nag the less you get promoted or whatever. So prepare her now.

When my kids would do this, they lost the privilege and were sent to their rooms. I as mom had the final say and that was it.

The other S.

I have a friend who would allow her daughter to do this and then, amazingly, give in after lots of pestering. When she was small I couldn't believe how she was consistantly rewarding terrible behavior, the kid would want something and just keep hammering away until she got it. I cannot begin to tell you the problems this has caused and how if you allow it when they're small it just gets worse.
Now the pestering is about big things, dating, wanting material stuff, inappropriate clothing, the parents lose every time and it is downright scary.
We do not allow our kids to hold us hostage with begging and pleading. A couple or times fine but after about the 3rd denied request it's time to go away and find something to do or we'll find something for them to do!

When my kids keep asking and asking and asking after I've said no, I send them to their room.

I usually only have to say 'no' once. Or if I say 'No, you may not have a snack until after dinner', obviously they're allowed to ask again... AFTER DINNER!

Save your sanity and nip it in the bud now!

I would just send her to her room or simply ignore any further instances of being asked. You have already said NO, MULTIPLE times.

IF she turns on the tv THEN I would take her next tv time away.

Otherwise treat it like you would a temper tantrum ... ignore it.

Yes I do, they are not listening and being disrespectful. It's rude and annoying and a behavior that needs to be nipped in the bud so they don't turn out to be whiny, rude and annoying adults.

Nope--this just became a battle with my 4 yr old. The 2nd time he asks my response is always " AJ you are being rude, my answer is no, it is not going to change, if you can have/do/eat xyz, if you don't like those options you can go sit in your room until your ready to be respectful to my answer" . Seems to be working, although we've had a fair share of bedroom visits.

My nephew use to get his way with my parents just like this (when they first became his permanent guardian. I think they were battling the grandma vs parent role and would often give in. He is HORRIBLE even at 8 he will wear my Mom down, literally all day, and then she finally gives in. If they would have nipped this in the bud to begin with I'm sure it wouldn't be such a battle for her to this day. He has gotten better, but he usually only gets it with extreme discipline measures!

You are definitely not being too harsh. Every child needs to know that there are certain rules s/he will need to abide by.

When it comes to tv/computer time, keep the time limited and keep your answer short. It should be a teachable moment !

One of my kids loved tv. I would tell her that she was allowed 1 hr a day. If SHE chose not to turn off the tv after the 1 hr, then, I would turn it off for her. I told her to make the choice.
If I had to turn it off, then, she was not allowed to have tv the next day.

On day 1 of this rule, I set the kitchen timer for 60 minutes. The timer went off. She did not turn off the tv. I did not say a word. I shut off the tv and did not allow her to have tv the next day.

I quickly explained to her that she chose this and why. I kept my words short and sweet. (She knew ahead of time, too).

TV time was no longer an issue. My daughter took responsibility for her actions !

The important part is being consistent !

I used to say if you ask again no TV, or whatever it was that was being asked 100 times, none at all today. Or you could give a time frame when first asked like 'in 30 min. you may watch it' or whenever if ever you decide. Not too harsh in my opinion. That's begging, complaining whatever.

We live in Japan so our culture is quite different. We allow only 1 hour of TV during the week and 2 on the weekends. If it`s sunny outside go out and play. If it`s raining color, draw or play with your blocks. We require 2 hours everyday of family time without TV, music or any other distractor to talk , play games, learn some new things and build a family community. Discipline as you say in our house is instruction. Bad behavior results in taking away pleasures and conversation.

no-I don't think any child should watch tv

Well, considering that "discipline" means "teach" yes I discipline my children for this because they're doing it not out of forgetfulness, but to try to wear me down. It's not a punishment per se, but a "you chose the action now you're choosing the consequence" sort of situation. If you're going to continuously ask/demand to do something I've already given you the response for while you're in my presence then the only solution that will satisfy me is to get you out of my presence. :-)

If they choose to view being in their own rooms where they have plenty to do until they can act like decent members of society as punishment, so be it. I know they're capable of behaving like non-annoying people because they do it at school. The least I deserve is that they do the same at home. :-)

I would do the same thing!!! I have told them many times you ask me one more time and you wont watch anything for the rest of the day or how ever long. It drives me CRAZY when they do that to me!

I try to say "yes" as much as possible. In your case, my answer would have been, "Yes, you can watch more TV tomorrow." If she begged again to watch more TV today, then I can say, "Right now my answer is yes, you can watch TV tomorrow. If you ask me again the answer will change to no." This works flawlessly with my two girls. (10 & 7) I never get another request after that.

Or this evening when my 11 asked for ice cream because the ice cream shop is next door to Popeye's. We were in the drive thru.
So he asked repeatedly, I said no then we drove off, only to pass Cold Stone. So he started in again. But I ignored him and passed by.

I will say no, maybe a couple times depending on my mood, then I will defintely take away a privilege or give one of the other's chores to the one driving me batty.
Usually that comes out as "Oh are you volunteering for Sissy's dish duty tonight?"

Oh, I have one that loves her screen time. Here are a few things I try in that situation.

1) Ignore the repeated requests
2) Use distraction to change the subject, start talking about the next activity, what color nailpolish she's going to pick today, the dog, whatever
3) Quietly let her make a bad choice by not listening to me. Then the NEXT time she wants my computer to play Club Penguin or whatever I say NO because you did not stop respectfully yesterday when I told you time was up.

I find getting all authoritative and using threats in the moment does NOT work with this child, and can just fuel the fire.

She sometimes figures out on her own that she will push it to number 3 and regret it, so if I'm patient and say nothing for about 5 minutes, she will make the right choice. It just works better if she thinks it is HER idea to do as asked, and not something she is being forced to do.

Kids do this sometimes.
Giving in even once makes it much much worse.
Sometimes I would pick a tune and change all the words to 'No'
When he was older, sometimes I'd ask my son how many times he needed to hear 'No' before he believed it.
As he got even more older, I'd start listing chores that needed doing if he was so bored.
Now he's quite good at entertaining himself - he usually picks up a book to read.

Usually after a couple of no's I'll warn about a consequence for asking AGAIN and it then it ceases. I can't remember if I've actually had to follow through for "continuing to ask after I've said no" or if it just works because I've been consistent after warnings for other things. But if they weren't listening after a final warning, yes, I would give a consequence.

You might be a little grumpier than usual, but I also think you are being reasonable. I mean, really, no means NO. I discipline my daughter for the same thing, because it's badgering/pestering, and she is choosing not to listen. She has been put in time-out for badgering, especially when it get combines with whining ("But I waaaaaaant toooooo!"). Kids that keep asking over and over are usually trying to break you down and get you irritated enough that you will just say, okay fine! They need to know that if it keeps up, they will eventually cross a line and then there will be a consequence. I have had to tell my daughter many times that I have already given her an answer and it may not be the answer she wants, but it is an answer. If she can't accept it, she will go in time-out for being a pest, or spend some time alone in her room to decide that badgering Mommy really isn't worth it.