My almost 2 year-old son's behavior has gotten out of control. I recognize a lot of it is typical development for this age but I am unsure of the best way to discipline him so am looking for advice on what has/has not worked. At home, he throws toys and screams when he doesn't get his way. He also hits and bites his older sister (she sometimes provokes this, but still). In public, he runs away from me and throws tantrums when I try to tame him. I've tried talking firmly (he smiles and continues his bad behavior) and have tried time-outs (he actually laughs...thinks it's funny). I know this time is critical...either I correct the behavior or he will think it's OK to act like this, but I just am at a loss as to how to do it. Thanks for listening...
At 2 following up with the technique isimportant. Time out without talking to him. Remember minute per child. But remember also if you put him in the corner for time out and he gets up the 2 minutes start all over again so really could end up sitting there for like an hour. Let him cry it out , But you are in the terrible 2's and 3s so it will be hard for a bit.
I agree with Kellhy. Also, remember that you're not disciplining your son because you're mad, but because he did wrong. So don't lose your temper; stay as cool as you can. You're in the middle of a power game.
You could try playing your own game with him. Tell him that during the day you're going to call his name, and if he hears you and turns around to look at you he gets a treat. (You'll have to figure out the treat.) Then do it. Call him loudly, call him softly, call him in a whisper, call him in song, call him in funny ways, call him in your normal tone of voice. He may get it into his head that he's teaching you to give him something good when he looks at you. Hopefully, looking will be followed by listening. It may turn out to be a better game, to his mind, than throwing tantrums or screaming. Worth a try, maybe.
watch the "1-2-3 Magic" video....it will save your life!
Seriously....it will save you. :)
Choose your method, stand firm, & be consistent. Only you can change this behavior....it will not improve on its own.
Back to Basics Discipline by Janet Campbell Matson we nipped this normal toddler aggression in it's tracks at around 18 months and never had the "normal" toddler battles with any of our three. It's a life saver! I don't recommend passive gentle things like time outs or ignoring unless you want to live with this for a very long time and watch it get worse! Discipline teaches. As in, he'll learn to heed a calm warning from you to stop wrong actions immediately. Therefore, he'll grow practicing right behavior instead of wrong (difficult for toddlers, but it becomes habit) and be a nicer child. You'll be out of the woods by age three rather than battling an extremely difficult five-year-old in the future.
Keep doing what you are doing: remove him from a public situation when his behaviour in inappropriate (leave a restaurant etc. when he runs away or pitches a fit), give him timeouts (just keep putting him back in timeout until he gives in and stays there), make sure he knows what he is doing is not OK. Don't expect him to show remorse or understanding though, he's only two. That will come as he grows. For now you stay strong and stand tall. Two-year-olds are tough, you need to be tougher. You're doing just fine.
