Discipline - Oakland,CA

My daughter likes to walk, so I put her in the cart when she misbehaves. I have also done time out at the store, on a bench, or a quiet corner where there isn't a lot of traffic. I don't have any other good ideas, but I can't wait to see what other advice you get!

I used to take 6 of my 8 kids shopping with me on a regular basis so my wife could have some quiet time for herself. When the youngest was nursing I didn't take him with me because I'm not properly equipted. I have taken all 8 of my kids shopping many times, to give my wife a break and to teach them what I knew about shopping wisely.

I never bribed my kids to get them to be good. Then they misbehave so they can have the bribe. If you reward bad behavior, you get more bad behavior.

If my kids were misbehaving, I would talk to them or swat them depending on what the problem was and how severe the misbehaving was. My children stayed by the cart, but I would give them assignments like select a box of cereal you would like. If it costs less than 10 cents per ounce, then we can get it. All of my kids were allowed to select a cereal or a fruit or anything we needed. I showed them how to select the best fruit (ripe, right size, the thin skinned citrus, the best bag of potatoes, or carrots, etc). I showed then how to select the least fatty meat and what a good bargain was and what wasn't.

I viewed my teaching how to shop wisely was as important as teaching how to understand what they read. My mom taught me. I taught my kids.

Teaching your kids how to behave in a store is important. I think that because I taught them things while we were in a store they were less bored and therefore less likely to misbehave.

Good luck to you and yours.

I wear flip flops and not afraid to use them in public or private, although just reminding them that I have on flipflops is usually all it takes, I'm old school, what can I can, i am sure most will not agree with my tenique, but believe me it has worked wonders!

You remove them from the situation...take them to the car, sit them on a bench, etc.

In your instance, I would have said you have to ride in the cart because you can't keep your hands to yourself. Or I would have done the four minute time out in the cart.

We have a calendar and for each day that their behavior is acceptable they get a sticker. If they have more than 4 days without a sticker they do not get a reward at the end of the month (a trip to the dollar store to pick out 2 items). Obviously they do 'naughty' things but if they correct the behavior or are mostly well behaved throughout the day, they get the sticker. So, if they are acting out in the store I can say you won't be getting a sticker for today unless you stop getting things off the shelves immediately.

The EXACT same way I handle discipline in private.

I would give one warning and if did not stop. I took them out of the store. I have left full carts of food in a isle and walked out. Only had to do that once or twice and it worked. Because time out was a must when we got home.

I'm a big fan of redirection, natural consequences, and earning rewards for appropriate behavior....time out is way down on my list of discipline techniques. In a store, I would initially remind her that we look with our eyese, not our hands and that if she cannot do that she'll need to ride in he cart. After the initial reminder, the consequence for taking things off the shelf would be to be placed into the cart. If it were more than being "handsy" as we walked through the store, we would leave (and have had to do that a time or two). Also, my daughter has to earn whatever fun evening activity we are going to do (swimming, riding bikes, etc) by making good choices throughout the day. Acting up in a store would not be a good choice and would move her towards not getting to do our fun evening activity. (When she doesn't earn a fun activity, she can swing into the consequence zone of extra chores for the evening. I try to help her earn the activity with good choices, as I am really trying to teach her to want to consistently choose wisely. So, I give reminders and status updates throughout the day so that she knows.)

One thing I NEVER do is delay punishment or consequences until we're home. If a situation needs to be addressed, it needs to be addressed at that time, not later.

My most effective "discipline" for my 3 1/2 year old when she STARTS to act up at the grocery store (or other public place) is to get down right on her level, hold her in place, and whisper/talk low so that she can hear, but no one else can, and tell her that she will NOT do what she has been doing and she WILL behave, or we will just GO HOME. She seems to feel home is boring (especially during the summers when it's too hot for us to go play outside during the day) so this is usually effective. More than anything, I think it is the soft, but threatening, tone. I have succeeded in mimicing my mother! HA!.... Oh wait.... damn....

When you tell your child they are going to time out when you get home and then you don't do it, you are teaching your child that you don't live up to your threats and that he is not going to get disciplined. Therefore, he is going to act out everytime you go the store because he knows you are just bluffing.

Since I know before hand that my 5 yr. old grandson is going to run off and not mind I put him in the cart right off. Problem solved.

In Love and Logic classes they address this very situation. You have a plan where you have a friend prepared to take this child home. It's not special time where they get to play and have fun either. It's time to go to a babysitter they don't like, or to go to the car, etc....not something bad but something semi unpleasant. Then as soon as they act up that person comes to get them. The child learns they do not get to act up, they learn to mind, and they figure out you mean business.

Otherwise plan ahead and always leave the kids with a baby sitter when you do to the store.

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I would have them sit in time out right then and there in the middle of the aisle if we were at a store. I wouldn't block other people but I would go to a wide enough area so it was obvious that they were being punished and they couldn't touch anything to play with.

Anything from Dr. Ray Guarendi on dicipline. Speaking to them ahead of time helps.

I know some people will say you should immediately leave the store, but that would be a reward for my boys since they don't want to be there in the first place.

I bribe them! Sometimes it doesn't work, but usually it does. I have a treat ready for them (not always food, but often a snack that they don't get often), and they know that they will not get the treat if they don't behave. If I can, I put them both in the cart and place items underneath and in the small child seat. They usually entertain each other while I shop.

You could bring a book or toy or something to keep him occupied. Sometimes I grab a book or toy for them to play with while I shop (and then return it to the shelf before we checkout).

Honestly, shopping with my kids kind of sucks, so I only do it if I really have to.

If my son did that, I'd pick him up and walk out of the store. He does NOT get to stay somewhere, if he misbehaves. No negotiation. Children this young won't associate a time out at home, with what they did somewhere else.