Shopping W/my Boys Makes Me INSANE

When I go to the grocery store or drug store I put my son in the front of the shopping cart. That is the way, i can go to the store and not worry about him touching everything. Walmart has a big shopping cart where you can put two of them in the front with harness straps so they do not fall. It is their age,they are not doing anything wrong and neither are you.

Is there any way you can go at night when the hubby can stay home and watch them? Or go on the weekends with him so that he can help out?

When we were children, we had to have one hand on the cart at all times. I recommend you keep the 2 1/2 year old in the seat if he still fits so you only have to worry about the older one.

My dad used to make us hold the cart... (he raised us on his own... had a 6 month girl, 2 year boy, 4 year girl, (me) and 5 year boy. lol. bet those shopping trips were fun!!!) My sister would be in her carseat in the cart, my little brother in the basket, me holding on to one side and my brother on the other. What also helped was to let us pick out a treat (usually from the "impulse buy" area by the registers... just cheap easy snack or toy) and we could carry it UNOPENED through the store.. if we started misbehaving we had to give it to him. If we misbehaved again it didn't come home with us.

I have a two and three year old so I totally know what you mean. Every once and a while someone will watch my kids for an hour and I'll go shopping alone, feels like a vacation! But really, I just have to go with them by myself most of the time. So here is what I have to say on the matter:

I know it's hard, but don't worry what other people think of you. You know you are a good Mom, so it really really doesn't matter if someone else is judging you. That's their problem. Also, when I see other Mom's struggling in the store I am certainly not thinking, "jeeze, what's wrong with your kids." I'm thinking, "I relate, sorry lady, I wish you luck". I try to make eye contact and smile because I think it's really important that we all try to support each other and not bring each other down with judgment. I get embarrassed too, so I guess I'm trying to tell you what I try to tell myself.

So, some of the stores have those carts that have the plastic truck at the front that kids can ride in. Mine love that, especially if I jerk around the cart a bit...or zoom up or down the isles. Yah, maybe I look like a crazy lady but my kids stay put for a little while, get along, are laughing instead of yelling/screaming and I get a great work out and my shopping gets done really fast, LOL! I can't put my two year old in the normal kid seat in a cart because she climbs out (yes even if she wears the strap) and it's dangerous. My three year old just doesn't want to sit still, but will, but then I have my two year old running around. Anyway the car thing keeps both busy and they think it's like a fun thing to do.

Other shops have those little kid sized carts. I'll give one to my eldest and then give my youngest things for her to put into the cart. Then they both have a special chore, don't fight over the cart and feel involved. Sometimes it doesn't work, but it does a lot of the time.

The last idea I have is that I got a backpack for my first child called an ergobaby. It's kind of pricey (like a hundred dollars) but you can use it from when they are 6 months old to when they are 3 or 4 years old. It's comfortable and the kids love sitting in it...it's kind of a treat and because there are two of them they always want to be the one who gets to take a ride. I usually put my little one in the backpack and have my older one help with shopping. Just because my little one still doesn't always listen (at all) and will take off on mad dashes where all the boxes in an isle will end up on the floor, LOL.

What I really notice is when I go in feeling like, "Oh my god, not this again. Everyone thinks my kids are out of control and that means I am a bad mom..." I feel horrible and stressed out and the kids freak out the whole time too.

When I go in with an attitude like, "who cares what other people think. I know who I am, I love my kids (even if they are hyper) and this is going to be an afternoon adventure." I have a much better time and can redirect their chaos into positive or fun avenues.

Good luck! Know that anyone who has had toddlers before knows (or should know) that they are not easy in stores and won't be giving you the eye out of judgment but out of empathy!

I'm adding this after reading some of the other new responses: I am not against disciplining my children and do end up taking them out of the store and time outing them there. But I don't have the option of just not shopping, I live in the sticks and drive 1/2 hour to get the store and have to make the time and gas count. So, it helps me to make it fun instead of a constant battle. I know what my kids can do and they are not capable of sitting still, playing with toys, being quite for an hour while we do the weeks shopping. Thus, I try to get them to have a good time. I have a good (better) time doing it. They are not big kids and they are not adults. I am not a permissive parent, but realistic about what to expect from a 2 and 3 year old tomboy crew. They are great at helping pick berries, they are great at climbing to the top of towers. They are great at learning how to read. They are not great at sitting still in a boring grocery store. They will learn store etiquette in time and we all are just doing our best in the meantime.

Put the 2 and 1/2 yr old in the cart. and make the 4 year old hold onto the side of the cart. and if he can't do that then he has to sit in the basket of the cart. makes shopping a pain. but the only other choice is to do your shopping at night after hubby gets home. This is what I did as I needed the break from the kids. I did daycare in the daytime and had our own little ones at night. it is amazing how relaxing shopping can be if you do it at night without the kids or hubby. you can wander up and down the isles just ambling along. letting the kids run around is not safe. someone could grab them or they could get hurt. your right to want to keep them safe.

It's not age appropriate for them to just quietly hang out by your side while you shop. Yes, there are kids who can do it, but that's kids with a very calm disposition to begin with. First of all, do not expect your kids to walk along side the cart at those ages. They should be IN the cart. Does your grocery store have carts that will accomodate more than one child?? If not, your 2.5 year old should at least be in it, and you can put your 4 year old in if you aren't getting a huge cart load of groceries. Now, the trick is to keep them BUSY!!! Since you are expecting them to sit, think about what would keep them happy for long car rides... Tey something that will keep their hands busy...Some suggestions... Use what works for your kids:

Grab some books/magazines from teh rack or bring your own and let them look at pictures (this worked WONDERS with my first 2 kids, but doesn't work at all for my 3rd child)

Get and bring along some sort of hand held electronic devise that isn't too loud... Think Leapster... Keep it as a special treat to only be used when they are in a shopping cart

Go when they are hungry and bring a baggy full of snakcs for each of them to get you through at least half of the store

Have them look for things while you shop-- like find a can that has red on it, find a box that has an animal on it, help you spot the the brand of cereal they eat, etc

My grocery store has a display of hot wheels cars about halfway through the store and they are $1 each... so worth the $1 to bribe to be good until we get to it, then pick one and get to hold it the rest of the time!

They should be in a cart. If they whine that they don't want to sit in the cart..too bad! You're the boss, not them. Put them in the cart before you go inside the store. If they cry, turn your back on them and let 'em cry. They'll live. TALK to them when you're shopping. "Ok..now, what's the first thing on our grocery list. Hmm..we need bananas..can you help me find the bananas? Great! What color are the bananas? What shape?" Try to do shorter trips. Maybe run out to get just a few things with the boys (yes, I know it's a pain, but it will help). Or take one and leave the other one home with Dad.
Do you have consequences for their actions? If not, you'll need to develop some kind of disciplinary strategy for when you're out in public. I've seen Moms do time outs in the store, I'm not quite brave enough to do that, but I bet it works. You just have to not worry about what other people are thinking.
I would also explain to them that since they can't behave, they have to sit in the cart. When they prove that they can behave, then they can get out of the car.

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Give the four year old things to pick out. They really want to help. The
2 1/2 y.o. should be in the cart. Too young, IMO, to be loose in a
grocery store. Way too many things to get into!!!!

You're 'asking' them to stay by you, no running, no yelling? Seriously?!? You are the PARENT, you TELL them to behave! If they don't there are repercussions! I am a spanker, so if ANY of my 4 children behaved that way (which they haven't, and I would be mortified if they did) in public, we would be going straight to the car for a time-out or spanking, depending on the offense. You have to be consistent, whichever behaviors are unacceptable must be unacceptable ALL the time. Even your two year old CAN understand about socially acceptable behavior.

1st Bad behavior=reminder about appropriate behavior.
2nd Bad behavior=punishment
EVERY time!!!

I haven't read all your answers, but I have a suggestion that worked for me - take a roll of quarters with you. Dole out quarters for good behavior, about every 5 minutes (for short attention spans) "Tommy, I love the way you're staying by the basket, here's a quarter". You can take a small tuppeware or zip lock bag for them to keep them in - until they're old enough to not put them in their mouths! You can also take away quarters for inappropriate behavior. At the end of the shopping trip, each kid gets to pick something out (gum, candy at the check out or make a trip through the "toy" section). They learn real quick that if they're good, they get more money to spend at the end!

I have a 4 1/2 and 2 1/2 and 1 yo that come with me EVERYWHERE including EVERY trip to the grocery store. Their dad always travels, we have no sitter budget. Thus discipline has always been top priority.

I don't allow the mammoth toy car carts for my own sanity (though more power to people who like them) except on "birthdays" and god knows we don't go to the store on birthdays so we've never used one. I need all the space in my cart, so the older 2 have to walk with me, which they do very well. And when they don't, they get disciplined, and then they're back in line for another few weeks until they gradually try to get away with running further and further away down the aisles and using one or two more warnings before coming when called, and then we "refresh" their memories about what's allowed. Usually when my 2 1/2 yo son doesn't come until I "take a few steps toward him" I know it's time for a tune up.

Before anyone jumps down my throat for being mean, let me repeat: They come with me EVERY TRIP to the store, we have a blast, they are super good, and well known by all the clerks and they pretty much ALWAYS get a lollipop for good behavior. People fawn all over them. But more importantly to me, for safety, they need to stay with me. So.

What you HAVE to do, is -first let me say, this starts at home much younger, and will take more perseverance now that they are used to running a muck, but it will work if you are absolutely consistent. You have to teach them to come when you call them the SECOND time you ask them calmly. Once you have asked them once calmly, they need a consequence the second time you ask. As in a good sting on the butt, calmly delivered, every time. I have never seen time outs work for this. They will start to come or stay with you when you ask.

Again, this starts at home, and we all know kids are worse when they get out in public where they're "safe" from consequences. If you always call them 7 times before you deliver a consequence, they won't even think about listening until you have asked 7 times and started to get shrill and desperate. Don't do it. One calm warning. That's it.

You're not punishing out of anger, they are choosing a consequence by ignoring your warning.

"No running away". "No screaming" etc. One warning, then consequence. Yup, that's what bathrooms are for. I KNOW, it's huge hassle to drag all the kids and the full cart to the restroom, and someone's always in there. blah blah, but don't worry, you wont' have to do it many times. Wait until it's all clear. Take junior to the restroom, get eye level and say to him calmly, "I have asked you x times to stop running." STING. As many swats as years old. Give him a minute to compose, and shop again. Repeat if necessary. Once they realize you WILL do it, they choose against the action.

Because this was consistent at home from an early age, my kids were both cured of this by around age 2, but like I said, they do regress at times. My 4 1/2 yo daughter has had to be given a swat in the grocery restroom once, and my 2 1/2 son once and THEN, he still wasn't quite staying within 20 feet of me, so I did give him one quick swat right out in the store-which he didn't think I would do, and he hasn't tested me again in the past 4 months.

This works for tantrums to. Our kids do not have tantrums.

Again, you should "perfect" his at home first, and then you'll have to re-assert yourself in public a couple of times, but you will prevail and have nice sons walking with you. Unfortunately, there is no easy way to get the little angels to just follow behind you like fuzzy little quiet ducklings. It takes work. you have to be the bad guy. Always be calm and brief. No yelling, no grudges. It's SO worth it when it clicks. My kids help me shop, we have fun pointing things out, they help with baby sister, they know where all the groceries are, it's some of our best times. My 2 1/2 yo likes to be given things to find. Discipline is not mean, it's necessary for happy good kids. Good luck!

2 great books are "To Train Up a Child" by Michael Pearl-ignore the scandal and fundamentalist christian stuff and the scary reviews-just read it and keep an open mind-you don't have to use it, but it works-
and a great book by a grandma called Back To Basics Discipline-see parts for free at the site www.backtobasicsdiscipline.com.

I have a five month old daughter and a just turned three year old son and we have a blast shopping. I would say around the age of two I would have my list and I would give my son a piece of paper and pen so he could have a list. He would just draw on the paper while sitting in the cart. Once he realized there was a purpose of my paper he started to mark the item off my list for me. I would show him what to cross off, and would help him cross of my list. He knew each item crossed of was one step closer to home.

Then I started asking him if he could find an item for me. I would say something like milk is next, do you see the milk. He got so excited when he would spot the item before me. I also let him hold the bag for the produce as I put it in, and then sometimes I would hold the bag and let him put it in. Then when it was time to check out I would give him a few items that he could put on the belt for check out. He took pride it placing his items on the belt.

Once I learned I was pregnant I start to take him out of the cart and teaching him to hold on to the side of the cart when the store wasn't too busy. Once the baby was here when he was 2 years 8 months he was ready to walk holding the cart. Sometime he would start out in the basket part of the cart, but towards the end of the trip he would have to get out due to there was not enough room for him and the items.

Now he walks beside the cart the whole trip. I will still tell him what we need. He will grab it off the shelf (which is great for the stuff on the lowest shelf) and put it in the cart while I mark the item off of the list. There are somethings I will not let him handle such as the eggs, glass bottles, and the raw meat. Then when we get to the check out he helps unload the cart onto the belt. His reward is the coin change which goes into his piggy bank.

It takes a little time to teach them how to get involved with the shopping, but it has made our trips to the store so much fun. I plan on doing the same process with my daughter once she is old enough. Good luck, and just keep with it. They will make you proud sooner than later.

I have 2 boys, 3 and 4 1/2 and if I just take one with me they are great, but with both they will get so silly and loud and don't want to listen. I make them both ride in the cart which doesn't leave a lot of room for groceries but is better than the alternative. At Fred Meyers they have a play area I can leave them at sometimes. Our Walmart has a Mc Donalds in it so sometimes I'll get them a snack to keep them occupied and then go as quick as I can. Sometimes I bribe them with a new hotwheel (playing with it in the cart keeps them entertained for a while). And sometimes we play games like "I spy", or I'll tell them not to let me forget x, y and z so they help me look for them.

I know the Love and Logic parenting classes have good ideas for getting kids to listen, but I haven't take a class so I can't share any specifics. But don't feel too embarrassed, it's not like you are in a library, and probably 99% of the other parents can empathize with what you are going through!

If you lived in MI, I'd say join the MyWay program at Buschs ( a local grocery store) ... are there any stores in your area that for a fee will do your shopping for you and bring it out to the car? Other than that, see if your mom or mil can watch them while you shop. Good luck.

"To Train Up a Child" by Michael Pearl- This is the book that tells you to beat your infant with a PVC pipe to instill fear in them to make them obey...and has resulted in many deaths of children in the past year alone.

You have to decide if you want to parent with fear or respect...hitting your child will ensure you rule with fear..

Now--I would say yes, to a consequence after the second time telling them something...for my kids, it's either being put in the cart, or having something that means something to them taken away....but not without a warning first...

What I did that seems to work most of the time--I talk to them before we go in..I am clear that there is no running, pushing, grabbing things, fighting, etc....and then tell them what will happen if they do these things--like one may get his DS taken for the day, or the 3 year old is going to be put in the cart (he hates this)....This has really helped us a lot!

And I agree with getting them involved!! Give them a picture list of an item you need and have them go down that aisle and find it for you! It gives them this huge sense of accomplishment and makes their self-esteem rise! They are much better behaved and LOOK! They are helping Mommy and she is smiling and happy--and guess what! Everyone else is happier....:)

Sometimes kids act out because they are bored....so get them involved! :)

I also have 2 boys, 4 and 19 months. I go grocery shopping on the weekends when my husband is at home so he can watch the kids, or I bring just one of them, usually the older since he is more manageable. I give him jobs, like to pick out the bananas, put the stuff in the cart, etc in order to keep him busy. I can't imagine having to bring both of them, however I would do the same thing but also give the younger one something to do such as holding something, also putting stuff in the cart, etc. At least with mine, whatever the older one is doing, the younger one wants to do, so try to keep them busy helping you.

You have some great suggestions. If the store has them the plastic cars are great and if they come out have a consequence. If not keep your little guy in the cart and have your 4 year old walk next to the cart. It helped when I would let my daughter "help" me shop or we would do a scavenger hunt ( find a food with the letter B sort of thing) but she had to be next to me. Also try not to be too embarrassed if your kids are loud, as long as you are trying you get brownie points. Ignore the cranky people and most likely those of us looking at you are probably thinking " Poor mom. I've been there, glad its not me for a change" :-) Good luck.

I would have the 2.5 yr old in the cart and have the 4 yr old keep his hand on the cart at all times. I have three kids, 6, 3 and 7 months so I have the baby in the cart and one kid on each side of the cart. I tell them that if they are good the whole time, I will let them pick out a treat (like Teddy Grams, something like that). And don't forget, they have naughty spots every where you go :)
I would also try to go when your husband is home from time to time. You would be amazed at how much time you save w/out having kids with you.

I agree that keeping them in the cart is necessary at this age. I was able to take just my granddaughter shopping even after her brother was born. Taking one at a time is the easiest but not always possible. I took a folded blanket and toys with me into the store and my granddaughter was content to sit and play or even nap while I shopped. When she was around 3 or 4 she insisted on getting out. I tried that but it didn't work and so I put her back into the cart. I've discovered that patient persistence often overcomes persistent refusal. You just have to stand there and wait it out. My granddaughter still sometimes sits in the cart now. She just turned 10. She shops, looking for things and taking them off the shelf, while sitting. She'll soon be too large and I've told her that I will indulge her with little kid things from time to time as a treat.

Having toys that they only play with at the grocery store will help. Once she started coloring and drawing, a coloring book, a pad of paper, and markers would entertain her for an hour as long as I kept paying attention to her. I'd praise her work and suggest things to draw. Asking her to help me find things and take things off the shelf helped.

If I'd given up when she fought staying in the cart I would've had a continuous battle. With her, just standing there and repeatedly putting her back in the cart until she realized she couldn't get out worked. A time out or a naughty spot will work for other kids. Or, you may have to just take them back home for a nap. But you can find ways to manage them inside the cart.

Do not constantly remind them. Stop your shopping and deal only with their behavior until it's under control. You will have to do this several times until they learn that you mean what you say.

Be sure they've had their nap and are not hungry when you go. Giving them a bag of snacks sounds like a good idea too.

Since you have 2 and one is still really young, I suggest that you can't expect them to walk peacefully along side of you. Keep them in the cart, one in the seat and one in the basket if you have to. You can put a hand basket or 2 in the bottom for some of your groceries.

I have two boys not 11 1/2 and 8. I just started taking them to the store on my own about maybe a year ago. Cause they did not behave. I would wait till my husband was off of work or my mom could go with me. When my youngest was 2 I bought a spachalu that fit in my purse. I know a lot of people don't believe in spanking their kids but I don't think those parents had kids like mine!!! I would take it out in the store if he would act up and ask if I needed to take him to the restroom. He would immediately straiten up and I did not have to use it. I would try and take them when your husband is home and if he does not want to go with you he can watch them. Maybe that will be a good getaway for you.

Good luck with what ever you decide to do and God bless!

i agree with the cart - ignore the sign on the seat, and put one in the front seat and one in the basket part. no yelling, no screaming, no hitting, pinching smacking, whatever. set rules. if they are broken, back to the car. start with small trips then work up to big grocery trips. good luck and know that most of us are moms- we're looking at you with sympathy, not judgement! (i also like the idea of having the 4 year old help - "ok honey can you grab me 2 boxes of the blue mac n' cheese!" they are awesome helpers and it will keep him occupied. but once he gets bored with that, or if he's tired or cranky or whatever, then my advice about the cart comes into play)

Mine are 3 1/2 and almost 2 years now, and we typically shop when my husband gets home (he works 3-11, I work days) and try to only do a major trip once a week. If we only need a gallon of milk, one of us grabs it on our way home or something. My boys are pretty good because we have our routine. Wegmans is a 24 hour grocer, they have a "kids' bin" for cookies and a healthy option (bagel or apple) so they look forward to that, we stop and say hello to the lobsters in the lobster tank and talk to them, and we dawdle if we need to and talk about the foods, where they come from, chat with the cleaners we know, etc. When I've had to go during busier hours, it is usually a nightmare. I am so thankful for the carts with cars or "benches" attached--I still won't let my 3 1/2 year old walk unless my husband and I are both there, and usually not even then.

I do understand that it is embarrassing. My kids have acted up a couple of times when they were tired. Try talking to them about shopping, if you have a computer you can play some online grocery/nutrition games to get them excited about the boring job of shopping for healthy food (www.mypyramid.gov, www.sesamestreet.org, etc.). Time will make it easier, but in the meantime just keep guiding them, try to restrain at least one of them if they have larger carts, and see if you can go with your husband. Sometimes my husband will go on a Saturday while I nap with the kids or we're playing outside--it is a break at any rate, but I think we both prefer to "be there" for grocery shopping, too.

Bring something for them to do--either make a smaller version of your list with specific things they can help you find in each department, or with pictures you cut out of the things for them to find. If you can get them to feel involved or like they have something to do it might help, even if it is a game like "see if you can see something green in every aisle." Bring a small notebook with a small sticker roll to make notes for what they find. Sometimes taking more time makes it easier, but I agree that it is also a matter of time for them to grow out of this. I never could imagine paying someone while I shop, even if I could afford it, although I totally understand wanting to.

Grocery shopping with young children makes the job 10 times more difficult. Several years ago, I recall picking some items up at a store while visiting another state (don't recall which one). The store had a childcare area. BRILLIANT!! It was not being used when I was in the store but when my children were younger, I would certainly be a loyal shopper if the store offered short tem childcare. I am sure that there would be many legal, financial and health considerations. If there was a way to work around those issues, I am certain there would be a high demand for those services.

As far as advice for you, it does get better with time...somewhat. Enlist the help of the older child. Have strict rules about staying in/with the cart. Maximize your time to shop alone or at least with one child. Maybe find another mother that would be willing to watch your kids while you shop and vice versa. When we park the car in the grocery store, I always ask who has to go to the bathroom even before we enter the store. I would rather take care of potty visits before I begin shopping.

Good luck!

My daughter (now 4 1/2) used to be horrible in the stores, but I always followed through and now I don't have any problems taking her shopping. I always told her that it is a privilege to go shopping with me (that makes her think twice about acting up, because she wants to come). When she was younger, I would bring a snack and/or something for her to do while I shopped. This worked great until she was too big to sit in the cart or refused to sit in the cart. If she didn't behave and wouldn't listen to me, she got a spanking. If she continued not to obey or threw a temper tantrum, we left the store immediately and went home. A few times we didn't even make it into the store! Sometimes I had to do my shopping late at night when my husband could watch her, or wait until the next day. It was a pain in the rear to enforce my rules, but it was SO worth it.

Major grocery stores in CA are open 24 hrs. If you are married, you can go at night when your Husband is home.
Some boys are just that way---it doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong.
You could try giving them responsibility in the store, having them hold or carry things for you--to keep them busy.

yeah i know how you feel. thats how i feel taking my 2 year old and 3 and a half year old boys shopping. i put their little hinees in a cart, if a double cart is not avail i put the little one in the seat and the big one in the back. i do not tolerate them running like little animals in a store. i also explain to them what i expect from them before i go into the store. rite now i have to go to walmart with them and am stalling(sigh). i keep looking for the off(or even mute) button on them but have yet to find one.

I try to shop at stores that have 2 seats for kids to avoid just that. It doesn't always work though so I make my 3 1/2 yr old hold on to the cart. If he starts to wander I get his attention and remind him if he doesn't hold on that he will be in the basket of the cart. He doesn't like ending up in the cart, he has been there many a time, so it usually gets him to be good. It has taken time for sure but he gets better everytime we go. I didn't think he'd settle down this much about 6 months ago. But by being consistent with putting him in the cart when he starts to run off has worked. Good luck.

I hate to say it, but I plug my kids in and it works wonders. I have them take their electronics, most of the time it is their Leapsters made by Leap Frog. They are educational electronics games, so I don't feel bad. Sometimes I'll let them look at a video iPod too.

Well I don't have an answer on how to stop them but I wanted to write and tell you that when I see a mother at the store trying to control her out of control children I do not judge her at all. I just smile and go on with my shopping, I know how hard it is and I empathize a lot with the moms I see in your exact situation. If I think anything at all it is : thank God I left my little monsters at home with daddy LOL, I just take the easy way out and don't bring them at all.

anyways, I honestly think if people are staring is not because they're judging you, everyone who has children in their lives know they are a handful. I hope it gets better!
Have a great night,

been there with my 12 year old son, still there with my 7 year old boy. he is awful at resturants. i try to remember to bring something to entertain him. he doesn't like crowds. sometimes i give an incentive, you may call it a bribe, not all the time. sometimes i offer a play time a mcdonalds, if really good a snack, a t.v. show, a special treat, at the mall i tell him if he's good we'll go play at the indoor playground. doesn't always work but the times it does it;s nice. good luck W. d

I find when I go to the grocery store that has the little shopping carts for the kids seems to ease some of the pain. I let my 3 yr old push his own cart and put the stuff that is for him in it. It makes him invlolved and I am not yelling the whole time.

I have 2 boys too. I didn't read all your answers, but at the age your kids are at...I always used the double seated carts or carts that they can drive. Most stores have some version of this. Then I'd have them help me find things, count them in apples, or hand them over for them to put into the basket etc. Involve them in the shopping experience. At 4 my oldest impressed the cashiers by all the vegetables and fruits he knew! (eggplant, etc. lol).....Boys just have to keep busy! The more they can help you and feel empowered the better off you'll be! Good Luck!

It will only stop when they get older. Go at night or on the weekends. Make a list, buy an extra gallon of milk. Think of it as "alone time".

Hi - my 4-year old has ADHD and shopping with him has always been a nightmare. A friend recommened a book called 1-2-3 Magic. Basically, you count a child's behavior. For example, if I take my son to Target and he starts to misbehave, I very calmly say, "that's a 1." If it continues or he starts the bad behavior back up in a few minutes, I say "that's a 2." Now he knows if I say "that's a 3" he gets a time out. I don't care where we are, we'll have a time out right in the middle of the store if we have to - usually I find a bathroom. This has greatly improved our shopping experiences - he responds very well to it. Just one idea - hope this helps. Check out the book for better explanations.

i would get them involved so they feel like they are part of the process, like it is fun not a chore. you tell them that you are going to the store today and it is going to be diff. bc you are going to need their help today and you have some fun games they can play. they can help you by counting the apples as you bag them, you can play guessing games w/ them and they get to guess what you have to buy next, praising them for all good guesses of course like okay the next thing I need is something that comes from a cow, it is white, you dont drink it, you like it w/ fruit in it (yogurt), the older one can help w/ the list maybe you can draw a few items on your list on a list of his own and he can be responsible for getting those items, you can have him draw things on his list (notebook, dry earse, whatever) as you put them in a cart. you can cut out pics from the flyer, put on index cards w/ a ring and they can find them as you shop: kinda like a bingo game and they can get a mini treat (animal crackers whatever) when they find all the bingo items. or you can do it like a treasure hunt vs bingo. or you can give them some snacks to eat to keep them busy, you can sing songs too I dont usually like to do this in public bc I feel silly but hey if I need to I do LOL. if you can keep them busy and involved as much as possiable then it will really help you out, it is not more work for you as it might sound, it is more work to chase them around and discpling. good luck, start small and have fun as much as you can.

Do you have a friend with children who is also a SAM? The girl across the street and I used to watch each other's children while the other one went grocery shopping. Babysitting swaps are the greatest thing but you need to have reliable people. The other alternative is to go after your husband gets home. Another friend and I used to meet at BK for coffee after the kids were in bed and then grocery shop together so we had girl time and were not at the store alone after dark. Plenty of solutions just have to think outside of the box.

Take Daddy with you on his day off. This will even out the odds and somebody else can be the heavy-handed discplinarian for the moment. I also suspect your little one is copying the older's bad behaviour, so I'd start with teaching the 4-year old proper public behaviour. Being older, he's also more likely to understand and comply. But get some help from Daddy.

i would put the 2.5yo in the seated part of the shopping cart, and hold the hand of the 4yo, or have him hold on to the buggy. tell them the rules when you get there, and enforce them. i can kinda feel your pain! i did a $400 grocery shop at costco yesterday with all three of my kids(special needs 7.5yo boy, 4.5yo boy, and 1.5yo girl). my little girl rode in the cart with this little tray thing of snacks and a sippy cup of water, and my boys walked - i have always had the youngest(sometimes the youngest 2) in the shopping cart, and since that's what they've always been used to, they've never bucked it. i really don't like them walking thru the store til they're at least 4 - it really slows the trip down, which allows more time for stress and bad behavior, and it's just dangerous if they're not watching where they're going, what they're touching. start with small rewards if you feel the need, if you sit nicely in the cart, and you walk with mommy, i'll let you each pick out a candy in the check out lane, but ONLY if you followed the rules. eventually, the behavior will become "normal" and you won't have to reward every time. good luck!

I was at the store a few months ago and found a calm dad with two little ones. attached to the cart, he had to really big carabiners. These two kids had there hands attached to these two things. I wished Ihad thought about it when my two were younger. I followed them a little ways to observe and they had no issues. I was amazed at what a little device could do.