Cry-it-out for Naps

Updated on November 24, 2009
M.C. asks from Essex Junction, VT
6 answers

I have a 5.5 month old who sleeps very well through the night (about 12 hours with only 1 waking to nurse) but refuses to nap despite the fact that she manages to exhaust herself. About a week and a half ago I started to let her cry it out in her crib; we have not had progress yet in terms of the time it takes her to get to sleep. Am I just missing her tired cues? Any advice? Many thanks, M.

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D.B.

answers from Providence on

Is she on a schedule? If not, it may help if she is. I wake my son up at the same time everyday and put him down for naps at the same time as well.

Perhaps she just wants to be rocked to sleep...or lie down with her to put her down for a nap. I always did that with my son, he was never a fan of "falling asleep alone" so I had no problem waiting till he fell asleep to put him down in his crib.

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J.S.

answers from Springfield on

Please, please, please do not let a 5 month old cry it out. It's not necessary, and it is cruel.

That baby is completely, totally dependent on you for her needs. By letting her cry it out, you are showing her that you are not safe, and that you will not respond if she needs you.

Letting a baby of her age cry it out actually negatively affects brain development in the infant.

How about letting her nap in a sling? You can wear her to sleep; once she's really, totally unconscious you can ease her into bed.

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C.F.

answers from Pittsfield on

Hi M.,
The best investment I ever made for my sanity was the book, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy CHild," by dr. Marc Weissbluth. With all the sleep issues I have encountered with my 7 kids, the answer has always been in that book. He does use CIO, but there's so much more to it, and he walks you through, step by step, for different ages and different sleep issues. Good luck. It's hard for me to imagine that 12 hours is enough sleep for a 5.5 month old. I would guess it's more a matter of timing of attempted naps, etc. With that said, that's the age where they really start developing real patterns and ability to learn to get themselves to sleep. at this age, i put my kids down about an hour and a half to two hours after they had awoken for the morning. Usually they would nap for an hour or so, then go down again a couple hours later, and sometimes even go for a third nap, and still slept well at night. Once I figured out their cues before they got too tired, they fell asleep much easier. If you miss the window, they have a lot of trouble, which just starts a bad cycle. Check out the book for more specifics-- you won't regret it. Good luck.

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C.B.

answers from Boston on

She is probably getting all the sleep she needs at night. My girlfriend's baby was the same way: I envied her the long sleep at night but she got no break during the day. My kids slept maybe from midnight to 5 AM and then napped 2x a day until about age 1, after that once a day for about 2 hours starting around 1 PM. You could try letting her sleep less at night to see if she'll go down for a nap. My kids needed extremely regular schedules so I usually made sure to be home around nap time or else they would not sleep and be cranky all afternoon. Dr. Ferber's "how to solve you child's sleep problem's" has great advise for all sleep related issues. Good luck.

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J.S.

answers from Boston on

I think she probably needs mor sleep - it's counter intuitive but if she's not sleeping well she'll get too tired and then have trouble sleeping, her night time sleep sounds fine - 12 hrs is good but I think she probably need another 3 - 4 or more during the day. At that age my little one usually took THREE naps. None were very long - all about 1-1.5 hrs or so but that added up to 3-4.5 more hrs each day of sleep, which she definitely needed.

I completely agree that you should look to establish a "routine' (not a schedule) with her needs dictating it. I recommend Tracy Hogg - the Baby Whisperer. I see a previous post recommended Weisbluth - that's all about cry it out so if that is your preferred method you could check that out or Ferber. I wasn't into cry it out and The Baby Whisperer made more sense to me I've heard good things about Dr Sears as well.

My little one at that age was sleepy within 2-2.5 hrs of waking so had frequent naps throughout the day. i agree that nursing to sleep was a great way to go. We also gave her binky starting around 3 months until she was about 9 months - that totally helped her sleep. In fact, she would often nap on my bed with pillows around her rather than her crib or in her swing or bouncy seat a lot at that age. Very cute, and it didn't inhibit her ability to sleep in her crib at night or to learn to nap in her crib.

I wish you well - probably the best thing to keep in mind is how quickly everything changes - soon enough you will be worrying about something else and her nap issues will have resolved.

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R.R.

answers from Boston on

Hi M.,

I'm sorry to hear about your difficulties with napping. I still have issues 3-4 times a week with my 11-month old and her afternoon naps!

Have you tried nursing her to sleep? Will you let her sleep on you if she falls asleep nursing? My daughter still nurses to sleep and after 10-30 minutes or so of sleeping on me, I can usually put her in her crib. It takes a while for them to get used to this change, but eventually she'll catch on.

Also, she may also just not be ready to sleep in her crib for naps. I know this may not make sense if she is sleeping there at night, but my daughter was the same way for a while, at least until 6 months. Many babies still need Mommy and while I know this is not ideal, she may just miss you or want to be near you to sleep during the day.

Also, I suggest reading Dr. Sears' Sleep Book or Elizabeth Plantley's No Cry Sleep Solutions. I believe the latter describes extensively how to make the crib a cozy and more desired place to sleep, such as using loveys and music, etc.
I'm not sure what you've tried already, but those books really helped me. One thing they really stress is making her pre-nap routine like her pre-bedtime routine, only shorter. Have you tried giving her a bath beforehand?

Also, I know a friend of mine has a baby who does not give her sleep cues, so this can be tricky. A lot of it is timing and I've heard that babies should go no longer than 3 hours between waking and sleeping--but some do go down earlier. It may just be a matter of trial and error.

Good luck and I pray she'll sleep for you soon!
Take care.

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