Coping with the Return to Work

J.,

Count your lucky stars that you were able to take so much time off and spend it with your blessing. I just went back to work last week. I started off slow. I'm only doing three shifts a week right now. My husband watches him during the day, and then works at night. We were lucky too. My in-laws watch him for the two hours in between that we aren't there. I found it so much easier that he was the one that dropped him off. If it were me I would be a basket case. So my biggest reccommendation is: let your husband be the one to drop him off. I would definately get a few pracetice times in before the actual first day that you'll be gone for eight hours. Go out have dinner with your husband of make a girls night with some friends that you haven't had quality time with since the baby (I did that also.) It's a good test run to see how many times you'll want to call, and a good chance to have some support around you telling you that it's ok to call, but it's ok to not call so many times. My best friend would see me look at the phone and ask what I really thought had happened since I called the last time. He was a good voice of reason. Good luck! Remeber, it's a whole lot harder on you than it is on him. He'll be fine!

Congrets on being a first time mom. I just returned to work full-time after being a Stay-At-Home-Mom for 4 years. I have only been working full-time away from my children for 4 1/2 months and their father also works full-time. We both work the 8-5 shift which is great. My children are 3 1/2 and almost 5 years old (they are 16 months apart). I am also greatful that I don't have to put them in daycare. My mother watches my little-ones for me while we both work.

It was hard for me at first to leave them even though I know they would be safe since they were with family. I think for the first few weeks I called at least 15-20 times aday. I slowly was able to cut down call so many times aday to just at lunch time and when I am on my way to pick them up from my Mother's.

I still have times where I just want to drop everything and go to them and just cuddle with them and not let go. But I keep on saying to myself this little phrase that my mom told me to say when I felt this was which is "I need this time-out, this is Mommy's time, the kids are safe and are having fun, and the kids will be glad to see me when I return to pick them up for the day." It does help. I also keep picture of my children with me so I can look at them when I am missing them while I am at work.

Good luck Dear. It will get easier with time.

First let me say that I am totally jealous you were able to take 6 months off! Lucky me only got 6 weeks. I also went back full time after both of my girls. It is hard at first because all you want to do is go home and cuddle with your little one. I called the day care probably 20 times a day for the first week or so then I slowly relaxed. I also brought tons of pics with me so I could just see her all around me while I was at work. It will get easier with time....

Good luck and congratulations!

I did not work for 8 months after my baby was born. I was so ready to go back to work but terribly, terribly nervous about leaving him during the day.

Before I went back to work, I did a 'transition week' at the daycare where my son was going. The first day he was there 2 hours, then through the first nap, then through lunch, then through the second nap, gradually stretching it out over the week.

The first day, I dropped him off and cried because I felt like a horrible mother for subjecting him to that 'awful daycare' that clearly could not come close to what I could offer to him. I went and did grocery shopping and came back to pick him up. There he was, playing and laughing and smiling, sitting on the floor with the teacher. That made me feel so good, knowing that he was being cared for, loved, and played with.

I also realized that his teachers both had a minimum of 7 years working with ALL types on infants - from screamers to spitters to non-sleepers to happy babies, and so on. And, I came to the conclusion that the care he would receive during the day would be a great supplement to what he got from me in the evening. These women were experts! They knew lots of tricks and ideas that I would not know, simply because of their experience. And fortunately, my son has totally flourished at his daycare. We could not be more pleased!

But I know how you feel. After dropping him off I literally cried in my car for 15 minutes. Since you are doing family care, you should be able to dictate his schedule to your relatives.

Start small...leave him with a family member for dinner and a movie one night, take him to another one day while you go shopping for 3 or 4 hours. This gets both of you adjusted in small amounts of time. If you can't do the 3 to 4 hours, start with 1 hour to the dentist! :) Work your way up from there. Best of luck!

Hi J.!

What a wonderful blessing you got to stay home for so long! I received the standard 6 weeks. Then had to jump right back into my retail management 40 hour work week.

I'm not going to lie, leaving him was the WORST, HARDEST thing I ever had to do. I cried everyday the whole first week. I chose an in-home babysitter, who was a part time nurse and absolutely wonderful, but I still cried! So don't let anyone tell you you have it easy because you're leaving him with family! It's still going to be extremely difficult.

I would definitely start off slow. Have the family member come over while you go out and run an errand, and gradually work your way up. I was always worried I would miss something huge, but I never did. My provider kept in phone contact, took pictures, and gave written detail on what went on. I'm sure your family wouldn't mind doing the same thing.

Once I got back into the groove, it was kind of nice to be around adults again. And as my son got older, picking him up from his provider's house was a great feeling: how excited he would get, how he would frantically crawl to me, etc. Good luck to you!

One thing that may help is, can your family members bring in the baby for your breaks? I know it would be a lot to ask, but if you explain to them how hard it is on you to think about leaving her, I bet they'd be more than happy to make it a little easier by bringing him to you during your lunch breaks. It wouldn't have to be forever, just for the first week or two while you're getting used to it. If it gets really hard, look into something you can do from home. There are medical transcriptionist jobs at St. Joe, and all you have to have is a certain speed of typing, and to have taken a medical terminology class. That's according to one of my tenants, so I would look into it to validate that, but still! If I had to work, I would totally find something from home. There's candles, mary kay, roanoke area is looking for another Avon lady, pampered chef, things like that. I know they seem like hard work, but if you can just find 5 people to have a party for you, and offer great gifts at those for people who'd like to book a party, it's not too hard to get started.

I was able to be off of work for 10 weeks. It was great! I, too, dreaded the return to work, but when I got back to work, I realized that even though I loved my daughter dearly, I really missed the daily interaction with other adults in a work environment. I think we all miss our kids during the day, but you will really treasure the time you have with your little one when you are home! I agree with bringing pictures. Maybe have special mommy-son time when you get home. Start a new tradition, even if it's just cuddling up on the couch and reading his favorite story!